Welcome to Fall! Expect Your Libido to Rise!
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Posted:Oct 23, 2015 1:00 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2016 6:39 pm
37092 Views
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To quote Tennyson, “In the spring, a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.” But what happens in the fall?
The leaves may be falling…but your libido? Expect it to rise. Autumn is the season when levels of testosterone -- associated with sex drive—are higher than at any other time, according to several studies that tracked hormone levels year-round (and yes, this applies to women, too). Whether the surge is the result of ancient mating instincts (other animals have a fall “rutting season”), and if it’s triggered by decreasing daylight or increased social activity -- well, it’s all scientific speculation. But for practical purposes, who cares?
What could be better on a chilly fall evening than curling up to watch a warm, fuzzy romantic comedy? A partner who wants to watch it, too. Which is exactly what’s likelier to happen in the cooler months, found researchers at the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology.
Guess this explains why I have fielded at least 20 emails today from men (some as far away as Iowa) wanting to drive to me this weekend for sex! On an average day, I'm lucky to field maybe one or two emails! Coincidence? I think not! I feel like a deer during rutting season! 
Does the cooler weather seem to increase your libido? Ladies, and gents can you explain your take on this phenomenon?
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HNW: Black Fishnet Stockings
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Posted:Oct 21, 2015 6:19 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2016 4:46 pm
38357 Views
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Happy HNW! I haven't posted to HNW in awhile. Thought I would participate in this week's theme.
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Key to Happiness?
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Posted:Oct 19, 2015 6:50 am
Last Updated:Oct 25, 2015 4:42 pm
37774 Views
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Recently I stumbled upon an article on Psychology Today's site acknowledging that single people can in fact be happier than their coupled friends. Of course I think that happiness can be had whether one defines themselves as coupled or not. Happiness is after all, an intrinsic feeling, regardless of others.
Why then are some people more naturally prone to feeling happier than others? Could it be environment? Biological factors? Resiliency to stress?
I've been curious about this for quite some time. Self Disclosure: My interest in this topic was piqued due to vast differences between myself and my two sisters. How could three sisters from the same biological parents turn out so drastically different?
As the oldest, I grew up shouldering responsibility to help provide care to my sisters while both of my parents worked full-time jobs. It was expected. I remember my parents comparing me to my middle sister who would later go on to become Valedictorian of her senior class and who received a full ride academic scholarship to college. "Why can't you be more like her academically?" My parents would say.
Obviously, I could have developed an inferiority complex. That sister would later go on to marry successfully and have a seemingly successful marriage and life as a stay at home mother. But appearances can be deceiving. In spite of having what some may see as a so-called successful marriage, it is just a facade. She struggles with Bipolar depression, lost 60 percent of her hearing and can be prone to mood swings.
My youngest sister, whom I refer to as "the lost " developed a drug addiction, subsequently lost custody of her and died at the age of 29 due to "drug toxicity" according to the toxicology report. Oh by the way, she was in a relationship at the time.
Then there's me. Short, failed marriage. Single for 14 years. By choice, mostly. I've had my share of ups and downs but I consider myself a resilient person. I joined the military in high school, deployed to Desert Storm in December of 1990, leaving my parents to care for my 4 week-old for six months.
I've faced other challenges head on: I put myself through college without help, while being a single parent, employed and raising two . Resiliency and having a positive attitude I believe are keys to unlocking the door to happiness success. In fact, I've considered researching this topic more in depth. A future dissertation topic, perhaps?
What say you? What characteristics do you feel influences a person's happiness?
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Chiquiles it's What's for Breakfast
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Posted:Oct 17, 2015 6:07 am
Last Updated:Oct 25, 2015 4:41 pm
36670 Views
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So a friend here turned me onto the idea of chiquiles for breakfast after he ordered them during a weekend adventure.
I stumbled across a recipe for them last week and decided to give them a try.
For city dwellers, chiquiles are a south of the border breakfast dish that includes homemade fire roasted salsa with green chile peppers, tortilla chips and topped with a fried egg. I added chorizo sausage, queso fresco, avocado and plain Greek yogurt (sour cream) to mine.
Very spicy but so delectable! What's your favorite breakfast?
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What a Weekend!
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Posted:Oct 11, 2015 5:17 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2016 4:45 pm
38016 Views
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Another fabulous weekend is coming to an end. Interestingly enough. None of it involved sex. As I mentioned in my previous blog, I spent my entire Saturday in Albuquerque, New Mexico at the International Balloon Fiesta.
We were there from dusk to dawn. Watching the morning glow and mass ascention of nearly 550 balloons was a sight in and of itself.
In addition, we had to sample local foods- my favorite was the Santa Fe breakfast burrito made per recommendation from a local with both green and red Chile "Christmas Style" and the loaded Santa Fe waffle fries. (No worries about all the calories as we walked at least 5 miles getting in, around and out of the venue!)
We checked out local vends and my ended up getting a cool henna tattoo.
Watched several bands perform at music fiesta: Two Way Crossing, Gloriana, and The Band Perry.
Ended our night with a night glow and fireworks.
Getting in and out of the venue was hellish. Hence the walking we did to accommodate our Uber drivers.
Pictures below per some of your requests! How are (did) you spend your weekend?
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Hello From Albuquerque!
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Posted:Oct 9, 2015 7:16 pm
Last Updated:Aug 1, 2016 4:46 pm
35549 Views
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Another Friday is here and I find myself once again in a new city blogging from my hotel room.
My and I had planned a birthday weekend getaway to Albuquerque to check out the International Balloon Fiesta since May. We decided to take the Amtrak train so we could take in some scenic views through the Colorado Rockies.
Our train departed from the station at 4 AM central time and arrived at our destination at 4PM Mountain time. Trying to sleep on a train just didn't cut it for either of us. The trip took forever. We are exhausted. I did manage to get a soak in the hot tub once we checked into our hotel. 
We have a busy day planned tomorrow. Up at sunrise to watch the balloons take flight and check out local vendors. In the afternoon, we have tickets to music fiesta which includes 4 bands. Headlining tomorrow night is The Band Perry. Our evening will conclude with a laser light and fireworks show.
Sunday will find us back on the train headed home. Let's hope the ride back won't be so monotonous.
I'll try to take some really good photos of our adventure and post them in my next blog. Until then, have a wonderful evening!
xoxo,
{=} myelin
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Not the Best Start to the Weekend
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Posted:Oct 2, 2015 7:20 pm
Last Updated:Oct 10, 2015 9:36 pm
35148 Views
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Happy Friday, all.
I am in Wichita all weekend for a three day EMDR training. I booked a decent hotel to stay in for tonight and tomorrow. I was looking forward to checking in, getting settled, and investigating the fitness center since I had to sit all day and felt antsy to get a workout in.
When I arrived, the desk staff incorrectly assigned me to a smoking room (I detest the smell) and when I asked them to switch me, I discovered that they could accommodate my request for tonight but not tomorrow. They showed me the room in question and I couldn't even enter the room it smelled so bad.
I had to call Hotwire who handled my online reservation and had them assess the situation because the hotel would not refund my second night stay. They refunded me for tomorrow but I had to re-book so I said, "fuck it" and decided to splurge and booked a room at a 5 star hotel.
I figured since I'm here on a business training, I can write it off on my taxes. I managed to get a 45 minute workout in but the hotel treadmill sucked. I ran 3 miles and did 15 minutes on the stair climber. I'm figuring my ass is going to be a little sore. Any volunteers to give me a massage? I could sure use one right now.
How's your weekend shaping up?
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Paying it Forward
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Posted:Sep 27, 2015 12:23 pm
Last Updated:Oct 1, 2015 5:29 pm
34128 Views
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I maintain an individual business website on the face place. This is where people who are seeking out a therapist can gain some insight into my therapy practice via articles that I publish about various mental health topics. Individuals can also send me a private message.
This morning I received a message from an individual that I crossed paths with in the fall of 2011. I met him on this site and we struck up a conversation via instant messenger. Back then, he was going through a very rough time. His wife of five years had just left him to relocate out of state leaving him with only his for company.
I could tell he was very depressed. It was close to the Thanksgiving holiday and he was planning on spending it alone with his dog. My instinct told me that I needed to reach out to him. I was planning to travel to Oklahoma to spend the holiday with my parents on their farm in Oklahoma. I called, explained the situation, and asked them if it would be too much of an inconvenience if I brought an additional guest along with me.
Being the Southern folks that my family is known for, they said "sure." I messaged and invited him (he lived in Nebraska) to come to Kansas so we could drive down and spend the holiday at the farm. He was reluctant because he had no one to watch his dog, a little shih tzu. "Bring her" I said.
The four of us, my , he, his and I, made the four hour drive to the farm and my mom welcomed him into the family with open arms. My dad is a good old southern man and exchanged pleasantries, offering to take him out target shooting.
Upon return home, he thanked me for my hospitality and I never heard from him again. That is, until this morning.
He wanted to thank me for saving his life. He is remarried now with 3 little . He said he never forgot my kind gesture and wanted to get in touch to thank me for reaching out to him. He said he was planning to commit suicide and were it not for that gesture, he would not be alive today.
My eyes teared up at reading his message. I responded, "That's what friends are for, just pay it forward." And he said he recently had. A couple traveling from out-of-state with two came to the dealership where he works and their car was inoperable. They were stranded. He had recently purchased a car he had fixed up and was going to sell. He handed them the title and the keys along with the disclaimer to "pay it forward."
Strange how life works.
Have you ever experienced a situation that you later learned about was a turning point in someone's life?
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Can Porn Be a Detriment to a Relationship?
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Posted:Sep 27, 2015 7:48 am
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2015 7:15 am
30899 Views
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A University of Arkansas study found that a third of men use porn to ease boredom or stress; a fifth turn to it when they're lonely.
Notwithstanding, the ubiquity of male porn use has become a battleground with couples presenting in my therapy practice. Wives complain about their husband's porn viewing habits and fear that it inflicts damage to their brains, limits their sexual performance, and changes their attitudes towards women, intimacy, and sex.
Today, feminist values and perspectives continue to permeate the anti-porn debate and serve as a backdrop for the argument that porn is an addictive stimulus that overrides our natural evolutionary responses, changing our brains and bodies. Porn is presented as scary, insidious and deceptive. We are told to “be afraid, be very afraid” of what porn is doing to men.
The real problem with porn is not that it is scary, but that it is free, convenient, and offers men a discounted option to the high cost of sex.
Husbands argue that intercourse with their wives is less satisfying than porn and masturbation, because during sex with their wives “it’s on me to do all the work.” But, during porn, the husband can sit back, watch for free, “lose himself” in the fantasy of porn, and not have to do any "work".
Essentially, he can be selfish with his sexuality. Because porn is free, and convenient, he can relax and focus on himself, exploring his fantasies, rather than maintaining focus on the needs of his partner. That is frightening to many, because there is a cultural value that sex isn’t supposed to be free, easy or casual.
What say you? Do you think that porn can be a detriment to a relationship? Does porn destroy the ability for people to engage with their partners? Have you experienced any problems with a partner as a result of their porn viewing habits?
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The Link Between Sex and Mindfulness
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Posted:Sep 26, 2015 9:56 am
Last Updated:Oct 4, 2015 3:22 am
29887 Views
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Have you ever stopped to listen to the commentary that runs through your mind? Yesterday I was reminded of how intrusive and debilitating our thoughts can be. I was at the gym in the ladies locker room when a woman I had never met before struck up a conversation with me.
"I feel so much better after I work-out but the entire time, I think about all of the things I should be doing instead- defrosting the hamburger for dinner, getting the soccer outfits washed for their game, what I am making for dinner. The guilt of working out sometimes keeps me from wanting to come here but my husband reminds me that I should go and workout. I always feel better afterward."
Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. We all have this voice of self-doubt, our inner critic. I too have been guilty of this. Instead of focusing on the positive aspects of ourselves, we beat ourselves up and feel guilty. For some individuals, these thoughts ultimately interfere with reaching orgasm during sex.
This voice might be telling you that you’re not good enough. But what really matters is whether you choose listen to that voice and whether or not you believe what it says.
Most of us have hyperactive minds. Regardless of what we’re doing– eating, driving, or brushing our teeth– our minds are elsewhere. We think about what others may think, feel frustrated about our performance, or fixate on all the tasks we need to accomplish by tomorrow.
Having a constant train of thought is normal for most adults. It’s often difficult for us to focus on the present moment. For instance, when was the last time you focused on your breath?
Mindfulness is being aware of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and environment in the present moment. Being mindful means accepting thoughts and feelings without judgment. It involves letting go of thinking that thoughts are ‘wrong’ or ‘right’. By practicing mindfulness the focus is on our senses in the present moment instead of replaying the past or picturing the future.
Learning to be mindful is difficult. We are not obliged to be doing something all the time or feel guilty for focusing on ourselves. Take a moment to simply be. Sit still or go for a walk. Recognize that your thoughts and emotions do not define you.
Curious minds want to know: are you able to let go of your inner critic and live in the moment? If not, does it interfere with reaching orgasm or feeling intimately connected during sex?
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Love Making VS. Sex
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Posted:Sep 22, 2015 7:15 am
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2015 12:59 pm
31309 Views
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There is powerful symbolism in love-making. Foreplay gradually builds to climax as in the unfolding of a life of two becoming one. As such, making love is inspirational, and deeply emotional for it signifies and embodies two mutually becoming one.
Whereas, unreciprocated love-making is simply an act of sex. The flames of love-making are quickly extinguished when one partner gives themselves, body and soul, only to be met with emotional disconnect from the other person. When the other person seeks a body, wanting just sex, love-making is squandered even if it is not (at least at first) apparent to the one attempting to make love. It is counterfeit if based on pretense because there is duality, not unity, and there is manipulation and objectification, not authentic, mutual respect.
Accordingly, it is essentially this unifying aspect of the activity of love-making that largely distinguishes it from mere sex. And here, the central “how” of love-making that follows from it: Surrender yourself to another; sensually coalesce; and trust that the other will reciprocate. Akin to a religious experience, love-making has an element of faith. If you attempt to have sex without such faith, then it is simply becomes just about the sex act. Wine versus beer so-to-speak.
Curious minds want to know, is being emotionally connected a necessary component for you to make love? Are you able to have a fully satisfying sexual experience with another without having any emotional reciprocity?
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11
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The Kiss
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Posted:Sep 21, 2015 6:28 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2016 4:45 pm
31064 Views
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Waking in a trance like state
a bit disoriented.
a smile plays upon my lips
and my thoughts
return to you.
It was all just a dream
or was it?
I sense movement
I turn and see
you lying next to me
I realize I have company.
Without knowing,
he opens his eyes.
Gently caressing my back
I feel his hardness
against me.
Blushing like a school girl,
I slide underneath the covers.
He laughs and pulls the covers off
exposing my naked flesh
for his inspection.
Leaning in for a kiss.
Feather light at first.
increasing the pressure,
until we both become breathless.
A whimper escapes my lips
as he slides his hand between my legs.
Rubbing his palm briskly over my hot mound.
“Open for me.”
Using his other hand,
parting my legs farther apart.
Moving his fingers over my throbbing pussy.
teasing me.
In nervous anticipation I try to close my legs.
He didn’t blame me.
He knew this would drive me crazy.
Forcing my legs to stay open.
He positions himself over me.
Moving his mouth over my sensitive skin.
Running his tongue over my nipple.
Gently suckling me.
Applying more pressure.
The anticipation builds.
Moving further down.
Drawing circles with his tongue,
around my belly button.
Sending shock waves racing through my body
Sliding down and lifting my legs
Placing them over his shoulders.
Feeling the heat of his breath
on my inner thigh.
Crossing the point of no return.
He plants a slow, wet scalding kiss on my inner thigh.
Looking up, he smiles seductively
My anticipatory breath quickens.
Using the pointed tip of his tongue
He traces spiraling circles on my inner thigh.
Letting the kissing climb higher and higher.
Until he reaches my sensitive mound.
Squirming, panting, and parting wider for him.
Every silent movement tells him I can't stand this much longer.
“Let me hear you, he commands”
"Fuck me, please, I whimper."
"Not yet, I want to taste you."
His tongue expertly parts the petals
of my delicate flower.
His mouth settles exactly where I need it.
Uttering a long shuddering cry of ecstasy,
he slides his hand under my hips.
Lifting, and forcing me to arch against his mouth.
Knowing each time
I am getting closer to release.
Whimpering and trying to pull him
to my lips.
His fingers get in on the action
opening me wider still,
so his tongue could trail a long blazing line of fire.
My release now inevitable
his tongue vibrating, against my clit
endlessly pleasuring me.
Without warning, my release hits like a tidal wave
soaking his lips and face
I scream out my release.
He passionately kisses me
and I taste my nectar
on his lips.
"Good morning" he smiles.
To be continued.
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To link to this blog (myelin36) use [blog myelin36] in your messages.
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