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joy, sex, life, and lament  

need4freedom 58M  
46 posts
2/6/2016 6:22 am
joy, sex, life, and lament

joy, sex, life, and lament. is it odd they tend to follow one another as certainly as the seasons? and by lament i don't necessarily mean hearts broken in shards, altho' that can be one's feelings when all goes wrong. i'm referring more to the long, slow graduation of decline; when friendship and trust grow while desire, that burning hunger to dance most erotic, to please til our lover is sated and spent, wanes to a mere flicker when once roared an open fire.
we sense the loss viscerally, standing in stark contrast to earlier times. even having adored a woman, how is it the hill of passion we so eagerly crested, eyes wide like explorers of a new land, falls tragically into the sedate realm of comfy and too bulky housecoats, and morose netflix choices?
we can push back at its meandering journey. make play dates - share with others - take a lover - but there it stands in the corner, a shadow of its former self, sad and diminished in each other's imaginations.
perhaps some know the secrets to forever pushing time from the equation and retain eros' arrows. yet in my limited purview, even those long term, seemingly happy couples no longer wear that shining flicker in their shared gaze. having settled for comfort over passion, i suspect they are set in their roles, while hungry and a bit barren in their loins.
so pardon my melancholy, but this being a venue of the erotic and ribald, perhaps those who've succeeded in breaking the cycle can weigh in with their tips of the trade, educating those of us forever relegated to the slow lane.
ah well, we always have lust to appease our instincts, even if after so many beds we've forgotten the colours.

sunligth56 53M
1114 posts
2/6/2016 6:42 am


author51 57F  
96518 posts
4/15/2016 9:11 am

Good morning my sexy sire.I just re stumbled onto your blog. Unfortunately it happens to all of us here where the honeymoon eventually wears off and the passion two have shared starts to go along the wayside.I wish I had an easy answer but alas I am in the same boat as you ...We look back with smiles and some great memories of lust filled passionate nights with an old flame,sit back and reflect for a while then get off our asses and back on that proverbial horse to ride..Umm for me it is reverse bareback though....lol.I have missed you my friend.

One can never have enough JOY in their life...

Seraphim13 105M/49F
726 posts
6/16/2016 10:04 am

I would replace - joy, sex, life, and lament for Love, Lust, Faith and Dreams... Can you see the bright side...?!

need4freedom 58M  
98 posts
6/16/2016 12:30 pm

lol - i usually do. but while love conquers all (it truly is the most wondrous sensation of all) we can remain the brightest of souls, and yet......
let me go peek at your blog (and if being truthful, the lovely graphics as well) and seek out some wit and wisdom that will aid in a desire to really, really conquering all.

Ladyvivamus 65F
31 posts
7/13/2019 6:33 am

I'm twice widowed. Lucky and unlucky in love. Married 34 years the first time and had several years of swining/open lifestyle. Until the novelty wore off. The truth is there are not a lot of sensual lovers out there. Since we knew each other's responses so much better,
Yes, the first flames do die down as the initial PEA and other super hot shot neurochemicals can't be sustained but oxytocin, endorphins and dopamine can be maintained over decades IF people keep things balanced between familiar and NOVEL! Exploring tantric practices is a way to keep Eros and sensuality fresh.
My second husband and I were married 8 years and with both, Eros did change but the initial fires die down and can be stirred to burn hot again. Had a great love life with both until their passing.

need4freedom 58M  
98 posts
7/13/2019 7:36 am

thanks for your wise words Ladyv. my condolences for your losses.
truthfully i find the eros easy - a man can learn his lover's triggers quite quick. yet i still struggle, after all these years, with sharing vulnerability while retaining my rather dominant side. which may be essential - albeit i believe easier for women who long to submit to her lover's strength.

Ladyvivamus 65F
31 posts
7/13/2019 7:58 am

Being stronger than I look, I appreciate a man's strength. The dance of Eros for me has much to do with responding to waves of strength and subtlety. I use my own strength to match a man's force or relax to accept his strength. Being vulnerable takes trust and that isn't always easy. But when we block our emotions we also block physical sensation to some degree. The most exquisite Eros comes with the trust to open mind and body to giving and receiving. From raw passion to sublime touch. Rare to find a partner who matches our desires, who is compatible in and out of bed to such a degree. I've had that 3 times. One other lover besides my husband. Regrettably life has separated us for now at least.
I can find it to some degree with a few other men but it takes time to develop the trust and openness as well as the rapport.
I hope you find such a partner. To feel so alive and connected is bliss.

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