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How To Ask Your Partner To Swing: A successful experience from a woman's point of view.  

pada11380 65M/61F  
10 posts
2/23/2020 9:06 pm
How To Ask Your Partner To Swing: A successful experience from a woman's point of view.

How To Ask Your Partner To Swing: A successful experience from a woman's point of view.

Know yourself and how you REALLY will feel if you saw your partner having sex with another person. Do YOU have any dos and don'ts and if so why do you have these and how do you need to change yourself if you have problems. Think and re-think about how YOU feel about.

If possible ease into a conversation early in to the relationship. If you are already in the relationship, bring up sexual conversations often. A private romantic spot is the best for these conversations, NOT during sex except to ask questions of what feels best and how they like certain things such as eating pussy. Never criticize, yet tell stories about how some one else did something that turned you on, such as the technique of the best blow job you ever had or something you would like to try that you once saw in a movie. Watch porn together. TELL HER HOW MUCH SHE TURNS YOU ON, HOW YOU THINK ABOUT HER AND HOW YOU THINK OF HER WHEN YOU MASTURBATE.

Let them know that what ever is said will not be held as fact, but that all stories shared are shared with the utmost confidence .Make sure she doesn't feel as if you would pass judgement. BOTH people have to be as honest as possible, not only explaining their likes and dislikes, but there fantasies and the perfect situation in which they would pursue those fantasies. They should be open enough to hear your stories and fantasies, in which you should be honest of how you felt about it then and now. Remember that everyone has some sort of fantasy and that it is your job to help her express herself.

Talk openly and help your partner feel comfortable enough to express herself. Do not come across as a know-it-all or as if you would be shocked by anything she says. Different people have different levels of what they acceptable or disgusting. It may help to start by bringing up sex stories of someone else and easing into stories about yourselves. Sharing may most likely be a turn on and great sex usually follows.
Listen carefully and if you don't know exactly what the other is saying, reword and repeat to her what you think you heard. Help paint a picture of what is said. Know that everyone has some type of past and some dreams, just make sure you are not going to look down on what ever is said with shock or disappointment.
Remember that all people have dreams and fantasies, but little experience sharing these with someone else. Ask questions leading up to their experiences and fantasies. Be open to share your experiences and fantasies. Unless you are well experienced in the LS, let her know that you are experimenting or wish to as well.
If anyone is feeling judged, fix it immediately. If a judgmental sentence pops out, re-address it immediately and give something of yourself that could be judged. LISTEN, SHARE, HAVE SOME SORT OF PLAN. If they are embarrassed, tell of a time you were embarrassed. Remember you will learn more about each other and this is a good thing IF you both don't judge.

The harder part is deciding who to act your fantasies with and how. This could take time sorting of details. Some people are afraid to have sex with people they know for fear of losing a friendship and the possibility of family discovering your secrets. Some people are afraid of acting out with strangers.
Take your time and figure it all out. If she won't discuss sex at all, she may not be open to the LS. Remember that in reality all situations are different and one should remain fluid in the moment. It helps if you know something about their past, but anyone can share their fantasies.

Discuss everything honestly and try to stay away from judgement. Remember, sex with someone new is exciting and nerve racking for both of you. If you are lucky enough to experience the LS with your partner, take extra care in what you say afterwards as to not pass judgement. The smallest statement or negative glance can have horrible consequences, possibly leading to you never having sex with others. If something does excite or bother you during your experience, examine yourself first and then gently without judgement bring up the topic sharing your ideas and asking how she felt about everything. Did something especially turn you on or off? How about her? Did something turn
her on? Share as honestly and openly both the positive and negative. Discuss your future fantasies. Keep a good sense of humor and by all means have fun!!!

This is when and how my husband approached the subject with me.

My husband, P, had been married before and he always suspected his wife was cheating. Thinking all she really wanted was other dicks, he asked her if she would like to have sex together, but with another couple. She told him she would think about it. The situation presented itself when another couple asked them to a sexy card game. Slowly at first as the cards were passed , they kissed each other, they half undressed and then the moment came....P drew a card that told him to make any move on the female to his right. That had him putting his move on his friend's wife. He slowly began to make with her, his fingers trailing her body. As his 1st wife watched, she got angry when his fingers slipped under the woman's panties. His ex-wife stood in a flash flipping over the card table and rushing of the house. P chased after her, apologizing to their hosts. They never did succeed in swinging and not to long after he caught his wife fucking her boss in his bed. Of course, their marriage was over. He shared this story with in the first few dates.

P had decided then and there that his next relationship would be more sexually exciting. He said he was in search for the perfect woman. P and I went on our 3rd date to a bon fire on the beach. As we set there in the romantic fire light, P began to ask me a series of peculiar questions. P asked me how many partners I had been with. I joked and said I could count them all on one hand. What I meant was that I could count them on one hand if I went back over and counted my fingers more than once...lol. He looked at me with a bit of a frown and I understood he was disappointed. He explained the situation with his first wife and said he was looking for someone more "experienced". I explained my little joke and told him I felt quality fucking, frequency and sexual openness was more important than the of sexual partners one had.

He next asked me not if I had been sexually intimate with a girl (not if I had had sex with a girl). I asked why and he explained that my mannerisms were that as a bi-sexual woman. I laughed most assured that I was NOT bi-sexual. He shared with me different stories of how he experimented with sex, bringing up awkward tales of masturbating with other boys and how uncomfortable situations he had gotten into. We laughed and it made me relaxed enough to tell some of my stories. I did tell him of the times my best friend and I had made , experiencing what we excused as just playing how we would kiss and seduce our<b> boyfriends. </font></b>I also told him that my first roommate's bed was in the view from my bed and that I would masturbate as I watched her writhe and cum as she touched herself. I told him that I thought this was my secret until she caught me staring at her pussy as she wacked off. She didn't say a word, only smiled. And the last experience I had with a woman was as I gave my roommate a shower. I was horny for her, but my only lame excuse was to wash her hair. To do the best job, we stripped naked and stepped into the shower together. I LOVED soaping her up, taking my time as I washed around her soft frame, spending way too long around her tits, pussy and asshole. I especially enjoyed her returning the favor on me and have spent many a time reliving the moment as I masturbated. I had never had "sex" per say with a woman, but I knew the female body turned me on.

He then asked if I had sex with more than one man at a time. I told him I had not and asked if him to tell me about the unusual sexual encounters he had. For him it had started out early in life. He told me in detail about the orgy he had been in when he was only yrs old. He explained as a military brat in Germany, he had spent the night with his best friend in a youth hostel. Two girls he knew from school and a German and his girlfriend had all just smoke a bowl of hash (very common in Germany) when the 2 girls from school began to make out with each other. He told me how turned on he was at the sight of two women exploring each other. The German couple began to fuck as the girls went down on each other. He and his friend removed their clothes without taking their eyes off the girls. Soon they turned to each of them. Their tongues explored each other and in no time they were fucking. Before the night was finished, they had fuck both girls and the German couple jumped in on the fun.

P also told me of another time he had fucked a retired nun who was bi-sexual. He had also had a fling with 2 girls, one being my own ex-roommate. What a small world. P did paint a very detailed picture of each of his experiences and my panties were dripping wet before he was finished. He was not bragging, insensitive or coming across as trying to seem macho or anything. He simply causally painted the experiences as if he was a close friend trying to explain very sexual stories, with just enough detail that I could envision the stories. This was such a turn on and he put me at ease as he spoke.

After questioning me and telling of his encounters, P asked if I would ever have sex with a woman, 2 men, or another couple. I wasn't sure where he was going with this line of questioning, but I had to admit to him that it was getting me so wet just talking and imagining the sexual pictures that were popping up in my brain. I told him I would tr anything once, if the situation was right. And I was being honest with myself, it had to be the right situation at first but as we got into the LS, the situations changed and I became more relaxed, As they say, practice makes perfect...lol

We have a great sex life and P would bring up the question of swinging or us with another man or how I would respond if he found another woman. The talks always made me horny, as he would ask what I would want to do and to be done to me. It took 2 years before he found a girlfriend for me (check out the blog of the 1st time I was with another woman) and longer b4 we were with another man or couple (this was b4 internet and much harder to find people in the LS.)

He had a few moments f jealousy and me as well, but we talked and talked until we worked things out always keeping in the foreground that first came our marriage than the LS, We make sure that the other knows that our love comes above all else. He also helped me understand that there is a learning curve in everything for both of us. It took some patience and time, but now we have great experiences in the LS. I can say with each encounter we learned what we did like and what more we would like to do. I am getting horny for a new couple.....I wonder what is cumming next....

both_of_us2009 58M/F
42 posts
2/28/2020 6:42 pm

You have great advise and wisdom. Open and honest works.

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11898 posts
5/18/2020 1:17 pm

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ludwig202 68M
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CDNGramps 65M
183 posts
8/8/2020 9:41 pm

Your thoughts are very respectful of each partner's vulnerabilities. This is an awesome place for newcomers and those with some experience to strengthen their LS knowledge

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