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πŸ‘©β€β€β€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘© They never change  

pal334 66M  
49041 posts
8/17/2020 3:49 am

Last Read:
8/18/2020 3:35 pm

πŸ‘©β€β€β€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘© They never change


I had time to think and of course my thoughts wandered to how things are as I have matured over the years and how things have changed. I am enjoying life of course but there have been adjustments. How are you doing as you mature? How are you adjusting? Here are a few thoughts I found that may give you a chuckle

ELECTRIFYING SEX

An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, β€œDo you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you from behind?”

β€œYes,” she says, β€œI remember it well.”

β€œOK,” he says, β€œHow about taking a stroll 'round there again and we can do it for old time's sake.”

β€œOooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea,” she answers.

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see this...two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so's there's no trouble."

So he follows them. They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his trousers. She turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like 18-year-olds. This goes on for about thirty minutes! She's yelling, β€œOhhhh, God!” He's hanging on to her hips for dear life. This is the most athletic sex imaginable. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know. He starts to think about his own aged parents and wonders whether they still have sex like this. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggles to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman, still watching thinks, "that was truly amazing; he was going like a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is."

As the couple pass, he says to them, β€œThat was something else, you must have been shagging for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You must have had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret?”

β€œNo, there's no secret,” the old man says,”except that fifty years ago that damn fence wasn't electric.”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

A TAD FORGETFUL?

At 85 years of age, Morris married LouAnne, a lovely 25-year-old. Because her new husband was so old, LouAnne decided that on their<b> wedding </font></b>night, she and Morris should have separate bedrooms. She is concerned that her new husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the<b> wedding </font></b>festivities, LouAnne prepared herself for bed, and waited for the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough, the knock comes, the door opens, and there is her 85-year-old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, whereupon Morris takes leave of LouAnne, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, LouAnne hears another knock on her bedroom door. It's Morris! And he's again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised, LouAnne consents to further coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses LouAnne, bids her a fond good night, and leaves.

LouAnne is set to go to sleep again. However, after a few short minutes, there is another knock at her door, and there he is again. Morris, as fresh as a 25-year-old and ready for a bit more action. And again they enjoy one another.

As Morris is once again set to leave, the young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age, honey, I've been with guys less than a third your age who were only good once! You're a great lover, Morris."

Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to LouAnne and says, "You mean I was here already?”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

GROWING WILD

An elderly man really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. So he decided to do something about that.

He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out of the sand.

A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the penis around with her cane.

Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, "There really is no justice in the world."

The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?"

The first little old lady replied, "Look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it.

"Now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild, and I'm too old to squat."


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pal334 66M  
41563 posts
8/17/2020 3:52 am

Keep the sense of humor up [image]

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WyoCowboy7751 67M
954 posts
8/17/2020 4:48 am

Can I get up off of the floor and sit back on the chair Now ???


Creadence70 99M
471 posts
8/17/2020 4:58 am

Very funny. Thanks for the laughs


SimpleLatina 56F
3045 posts
8/17/2020 5:49 am

Better keep an eye out for the electric fence


donsv1962 58M
5900 posts
8/17/2020 6:28 am

Very funny.

I want to take you into the fiery lair of steamy sexual delight on this hot sultry night.


EnigmaInitiative 52F
4221 posts
8/17/2020 6:59 am

The electric fence one had me laughing so hard I almost wet myself.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


author51 57F
104483 posts
8/17/2020 7:52 am

LMFAO PAL..All three made me spit my coffee onto the screen but that last one has my stomach aching from laughing so hard...You just brightened my Monday Pal...xoxo


pocogato12 68F  
35567 posts
8/17/2020 9:50 am

The electric fence is always appreciated no matter the age LOL. Thanks for the Monday laughs

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


Tmptrzz 58F
89148 posts
8/17/2020 12:27 pm

These are all great I laugh every time I read them. I hope your Monday is a great start to your week, stay safe and take care..

Just your average every day run of the mill nana here!!!


sweet_VM 62F
81114 posts
8/17/2020 6:13 pm

Ty Pal sounds good. Lots of laughs hugs V

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