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Set your coffee down  

pal334 67M  
52773 posts
3/15/2018 5:08 am

Last Read:
3/16/2018 5:19 am

Set your coffee down



I think we should occasionally just have an unrestrained laugh. Sometimes that includes laughing at ourselves. As I get more senior , I notice that my generation can be quite entertaining. Actually everyone does something silly at times. And humor is the best medicine. Here are a few chuckles I want to share. I hope they perk your day up a little. Do you have a chuckle or two you would like to share?


GROWING WILD

An elderly man really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. So he decided to do something about that.

He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out of the sand.

A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the penis around with her cane.

Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, "There really is no justice in the world."

The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?"

The first little old lady replied, "Look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it.

"Now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild, and I'm too old to squat."


GOT MILK?

A woman and a baby waited in the doctor's examining room, waiting for him to come in.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and commented the baby wasn't gaining enough weight. He then asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast fed," the woman replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did.

He pressed, kneaded, and pinched both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is hungry. You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma ... but I'm glad I came."



IN THE BARNYARD


A farmer bought a brand new stud rooster to copulate with his chickens. He put the rooster straight in the pen so he can get down to business.

The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says "OK, old fellow, time to retire."

The old rooster says, "You can't handle all these chickens. Look at what it did to me!"

The young rooster replies, "Now, don't give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and let the young to take over, so take a hike."

The old rooster says, "Aw, c'mon. Just let me have the two old hens over in the corner. I won't bother you."

The young rooster says, "Scram! Beat it! You're washed up! I'm taking over!"

So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, "I'll tell you what, young fellow, I'll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. And if I'm so feeble, why not give me a little head start?"

The young rooster says, "Sure, why not, you know I'll still beat you."

They line up in back of the farmhouse, get a chicken go cluck "Go!" and the old rooster took off running.

About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about five inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what's going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM! He shoots the young rooster.

He shakes his head gloomily and says to his wife...

" of a bitch ... third gay rooster I bought this week!"


A TAD FORGETFUL?

At 85 years of age, Morris married LouAnne, a lovely 25-year-old. Because her new husband was so old, LouAnne decided that on their<b> wedding </font></b>night, she and Morris should have separate bedrooms. She is concerned that her new husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the<b> wedding </font></b>festivities, LouAnne prepared herself for bed, and waited for the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough, the knock comes, the door opens, and there is her 85-year-old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, whereupon Morris takes leave of LouAnne, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, LouAnne hears another knock on her bedroom door. It's Morris! And he's again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised, LouAnne consents to further coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses LouAnne, bids her a fond good night, and leaves.

LouAnne is set to go to sleep again. However, after a few short minutes, there is another knock at her door, and there he is again. Morris, as fresh as a 25-year-old and ready for a bit more action. And again they enjoy one another.

As Morris is once again set to leave, the young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age, honey, I've been with guys less than a third your age who were only good once! You're a great lover, Morris."

Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to LouAnne and says, "You mean I was here already?”


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pal334 67M  
44535 posts
3/15/2018 5:10 am

And always remember the three rules [image]

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perfumedgal3 72F

3/15/2018 5:44 am

So funny, here's one for you:
A week after John bought a bull he complained to a friend that all the bull did was eat grass, wouldn't even look at the cows.
"Take him to the vet" Suggested the friend
The next week John is much happier "The Vet gave him some pills and the bull serviced all my cows and then broke through the fence and serviced all my neighbours cows.
"What kind of pills were they" asked the friend
" I don't know" Said John, "but they taste like peppermint"


sweet_VM 63F
81513 posts
3/15/2018 6:07 am

Now that did make me laugh Pal. Good one. hugs V

Become a blog watcher sweet_vm


SimpleLatina 57F
3335 posts
3/15/2018 6:17 am

You have to watch out for the old ones, they have a lot of smart stored up


Tmptrzz 58F
102439 posts
3/15/2018 1:11 pm

Great jokes for today Pal., thanks so much..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


kinkyfem73 48F

3/15/2018 6:36 pm

Omg those were hilarious!!

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