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| Blogs > partygald > this way to heidi |
Is it cheating?
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Is it cheating? I'm supposed to already be in Bali and, I dunno, fucking my the pool, probably. But my flight got pushed back to tomorrow morning. I'm a little bummed out, but am still glad it's not too much of a delay. The good news also is, I'll touch down about the same time as two others flying in from somewhere else, so. We'll probably get to our place around the same time. I took the opportunity to repack my bag, and also had a good friend over earlier while I did it. She's a good friend of mine so, she knows where I'm going, and what I'll be getting up to when I get there. She even know some of the people I'm meeting. ANyways. We were going through some of the stuff I was packing and we came across a slinky dress that my fiance had bought me. It's a sexy little piece - backless, very short, with a slit on the right thigh. He bought it on the pretext that it'd be that dress I wear when we go out and I want to be a little raunchy. Which is usually when we travel. You know the kind. I like it. It doesn't cover much, but it covers what I want covered, and I can actually move in it. I've only worn it a few times, like I said, when we travel. But I'm bringing it now cos, well, aside from the obvious, I feel sexy in it. I think I might even go dancing in it this weekend (albeit, not too vigorously) So anyhow, my friend saw it, pointed it out, and I told her about the dress. And she asked me if it's the same as cheating on my fiance. Ok, to make things clear, I didn't mention that I was going to bring this dress along. I didn't think it's "cheating" cheating, but I am now also thinking, maaybe it is a little...? Basically, she's given me a complex. Is it cheating if I brought it along? Should I leave it behind? Or bring it along and tell him? (Yeeeesh...i'm kinda dreading the second option. I mean, he's already not too crazy about me going...) I dunno. What do you guys think? (Although I think, by the time I get responses, I'd already have decided on my own cos I'd already be out)  But tell me anyways. Is it cheating?
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Well if your fiance bought it for you to wear out with him then it should stay home. I have an outfit that my ex boyfriend bought for me when we went out and its hanging in my closet havent worn it since we broke up LadyTeddieBear 
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😁 how can it be cheating... Its an article of clothing... But then again. It isnt as simple as that is it... Bring it... Wear it send him a pic and tell him thats what ur gonna be wearing when u touch down 
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Oh... And have fun in bali!! (I wonder if what happens in bali stays in bali - or gets documented here 😘)
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Too late; you've already cheated in your mind! It's simple . . . Entertaining the idea that it could be cheating, implicates you as cheating. If he were coming along, then of course not. But if he is not -which is what I gleaned from your post, then it is. He bought it, for when, you two go out. How much simpler can it be? CHEATER!!! Now, as the other guy suggested, put it on and show us how naughty you look in it!  Oh, and have a good time in Bali  Anything done half-heartedly will net you an equivalent result. ~CH
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Wearing a sexy dress isn't cheating! 
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It's not really cheating because he knows what you are up to. But to be honest it will hurt him more if you are doing it in a dress he bought for you. But judging from the dynamic you have with him, that will only turn him on more. But....from experience, unless you are ready to fully cuckold him, don't wear or take the dress. It will only drive those jealous intense feeling in more. And if was me, and u wore the dress, i would make u tell me what you did in it, and fuck you senseless while you do, hard, deep, aggressive, angry and fucking mean.....but lets face it, you love it that way. however unless u are planning to fully cuck him, it will be playing with fire that won't make your marriage go well....just so you know
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Nope. He gave it to you. It's a gift. You do what you want with it. I used to buy nice clothes for a certain person. She said she didn't like those clothes. Makes her feel slutty. Then I realised she wore those clothes going out with other guys. So I realised that 1) She doesn't like to wear those clothes in my presence. 2) She like wearing those clothes in the company of other guys. 3) I bought those clothes because I think she would look nice in them, which of course she does. 4) Those clothes were gifts. What she does with them is up to them. So it is not cheating. A gift is a gift. Of course she now complains I don't buy her any more clothes. My answer is I am no good at selecting clothes for her. (She used to be happy with my selection but that's another story) Moral of the story, it isn't cheating. And I am saving lots more money for my vacation expenses. Fun and Pleasure in Sunny Side Singapore. Come visit my blog and let's chat and explore.
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I once asked a gay friend of mine how he'd managed to stay in the relationship for so long, and what his secret was given that I knew he had a wondering eye. He replied that because he and his partner commit their infidelities together, they weren't infidelities at all. Sadly young lady, I think the dress is somewhat irrelevant as he will see it as cheating anyway, and sooner or later it will become a problem. By all means take the dress if it makes you feel sexy. but don't tell him - it was a personal gift between the two of you. As for me if I were your boyfriend, or better yet your husband, I'd be attending the party with you. I'd wait until you were riding some guys cock, or a strap-on while leaning forward to suck off one or two others. I'd then come up behind you, and whisper in your ear how much I adore you (Sorry to sound like a stalker - but you get the just lol) & how hard you make, then slowly slide into your ass. I'd always give you permission....I hope you find someone who will too. Whether he is him or not only time will tell. Can't you invite him? I came across this great article on pleasure so I wanted to share it: I give us all permission to explore our desires and our fantasies. I give us permission to claim what is our birthright — pleasure. I do not want my daughters to own an ounce of guilt for expressing their sexuality, no matter how it manifests itself. I hope they freely explore their bodies, own their bodies, live in their bodies, enjoy their bodies and embrace all realms of giving and receiving pleasure. I don’t want them to suffer like I have. It has taken almost 34 years for me to accept who dwells in me — a lioness who I have tamed and locked away for so long, because she scared me. I felt like a closet slut for years, until I recognized I’m no slut—I am an explosively passionate woman with a wild imagination and voracious desire for happiness and pleasure. In my 34th year of life, I will release her completely because she deserves to live and breathe in the open, free of judgment — my judgment. She tries to ooze from my mind, my body and my heart every day and I can no longer contain her. From adolecence to adulthood, I thought it was wrong to love sex as much as I did. I shunned my radiant imaginative desires and resisted pleasure completely. I thought it selfish, almost narcissistic to seek pleasure and attain a blissful state. I searched in the wrong places — outside myself, in a sexual encounter with someone I didn’t know very well or in validation from people around me. I didn’t think I deserved to feel good. I was afraid of intimacy with myself, of allowing my needs to be acknowledged and fulfilled. I hid within my sexual experiences instead of participating in. I withheld pleasure from myself, from my life. I felt guilty for masturbating or fulfilling my fantasies. As I mature, I recognize the most important part of life, the gift of life is our ability to feel pleasure, to know pleasure. God built me with the character I have, the thoughts, the desires, the body and the spirit I am meant to have in this life. I don’t need to cover up or be anyone else. Instead of trying to change, be something else – something more holy or more pure, I am meant to thrive and function as myself. I give myself and all of us permission to stop avoiding who we are and give in to what gives us pleasure regardless of what society deems acceptable or unacceptable. This year has gifted me – I didn’t know making love with myself had the power to usher me into a nest of self acceptance. It has transformed my ability to trust and be intimate with another person, to receive pleasure – which I never had before. I didn’t know that the simple act of giving myself permission to feel good would change my life. Here is my gift of permission for you: 1. Tease Yourself, Seduce Yourself — Get Naked Under Your Clothes. I don’t wear underwear, unless (for sanitary reasons) I wear a short skirt which is a rare occurrence. I have a dresser drawer full of Hanky Pankys in a rainbow of colors that sit unharnessed to my pelvis. Why? Because it’s sexy to not wear them. I love being exposed. I am ready for pleasure at any moment. I enjoy teasing myself, seducing myself all day long. At night, I wear a sheer slip to bed. The tingling sensation of the fabric on my skin gives me goosebumps. I love the way my nipples break through the veil of cloth. I stand in front of the mirror and I appreciate (not judge) the beauty of my body through the cloud of cotton. I separate from myself, admiring the person who stands before me yearning to be discovered, uncovered and explored. I sleep naked — a lot. I recommend spending time every day naked. It’s a little uncomfortable at first. We are used to being naked between clothing changes, showering or having sex. What about just being naked? Enjoying the freedom of no restraints. The first thing my daughters do when they walk in at the end of the day is strip down to nothing. They run around, do somersaults, dance. They are more comfortable naked than dressed. When we are naked, we can’t hide—being vulnerable is vital to becoming comfortable with ourselves. Only when we are comfortable with ourselves can we be comfortable with another. 2. Act Like An Animal, Once in Awhile. Animals are naked in every way; they don’t have manners, they don’t have clothes. They eat without utensils. They get dirty. They mate when they need to and want to, no matter who is watching. Try being an Animal once in a while. Eat with your hands, eat foods that explode with juice allow them to coat your body and don’t rub it away. Get messy. Allow yourself to go primal. If you have a partner, grab them and devour them as you did your food and if you are alone, devour yourself; in the middle of the living room, with the shades open, let the light in and please yourself. 3. Give In To Your Dark Side. Give in to your desires. Your secret fantasies. Give in to your dark side. Who cares what “people” say is appropriate. If you desire it, explore it. I enjoy watching pornography (well-executed pornography, that is). I get turned on by watching and listening to people pleasuring each other. I become fully invested in the experience. I pay attention to my mind and body as they respond to the stimulation. I melt into it, and before long I find myself caressing my own body as if it were another craving me, wanting me. My flaws no longer exist, I am perfect, I am all pleasure. It is ok, more than ok to love pleasure, and watching others giving and receiving it. 4. Do it in Front of a Mirror. I used to avoid the act of masturbation. I would listen to the urge, do it and be done. I avoided what it looked like, what I looked like and how it felt. Now, I make as much of an effort to embrace the experience during my self pleasure as I do when making love with a partner. I use toys or just my hands, depending on my mood. I think it is important to build a partnership with my vagina. I know her, I know how she responds, what she looks like—I am connected with her. I get down on the floor, in front of the mirror, and I look into myself. I watch as my face changes as I become aroused and how my body reacts in climax. It is nourishing to watch myself receive pleasure. My advice is to make masturbation a sacred practice. Practice getting turned on by, you. Grab your breasts, rake your hands down your stomach. Make love with yourself because until we can make love with ourselves, be comfortable alone, we can’t be comfortable with anyone else. 5. Write It and Read It. Write your fantasies, write your experiences, keep typing, don’t stop, don’t think about it. Just write and then, read what you write. Read it out loud. Our spirit lives in our words. She exposes herself within the punctuation. There is no right or wrong. If you like bondage, give into it — it is how your spirit wishes to express herself. Just as we are all unique, different, so are our desires. We all have something we fight against, that we stuff down because we think it is wrong to want what we want. It is not. Give in to yourself. Allow yourself to feel the pleasure you crave. Pleasure brings us as close to our spirit as we will ever be. Look at the children of the world – they are pleasure seekers, pleasure dwellers and they are the happiest, purest beings on the planet. They do what feels good and right for themselves. They don’t care if it is socially acceptable – they listen to their hearts and their needs. As we age to adulthood, sexual pleasure is and can be the most profound way to connect with ourselves. Pleasuring ourselves first, understanding our needs and wants must happen before we can receive pleasure from or give pleasure to another. Once we connect and accept our desires, we accept who we are as we are.
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Hi all. FIrst up, thank you all for your contributions. It is greatly appreciated. I'd like to blog about a few things from my trip, but I feel I should settle this. I brought my dress, the dress in question. But it was not worn. I had planned to wear it on a night out. I did have a night out, but decided against wearing it. Not cos I felt guilty at the time. But mainly cos I decided on something else. In hindsight, I think it worked out, cos I probably would have felt a little guilty wearing it, and doing all sorts of fun stuff in and out of it. So there. It was not worn. Tricky, these things can be...
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GOOD
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I'm very late to the party here, and it's a moot point by now, but I don't see it as cheating -- it's a dress. Cheating is violation of what people have agreed to between them. By conventional rules, sex with someone else, or even things like kissing with emotional involvement with someone else, is cheating. By extremely prudish rules, even masturbating with porn might be cheating. In a poly relationship, going outside the home group might be cheating. With some swingers, playing with others without proper safety precautions might be cheating. With other swingers, playing with others when the partner isn't around to join in on the fun might be cheating. For a couple that's staying together for the sake of appearances, playing with others without proper attention to secrecy might be cheating. But if you bought the dress with him in mind, it's probably most comfortable for you if you save it for that purpose, and release it for other occasions only after it had been used that way.
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