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Um..shit happens..when you play with ass...?  

partygald 38F
2616 posts
7/20/2015 8:42 am

Last Read:
4/27/2016 1:22 am

Um..shit happens..when you play with ass...?


Hot damn! It's a Monday and it's been one hell of a Monday. It's past 10pm where I am, and I've brought work home. Yes, I did. I even skipped my workout for today in an attempt to try and finish this and send it out by tonight. BUT! Alas, I'm taking a break from it and lo and behold! I'm in here blogging

Shit, promised myself I'd bitch less, but...ah well. Ok, first up. My mojo, is completely fucked. The people washing the outside of my building started on the other side of the building early last week, and have now started on washing my side of the building. The last few days, they have been outside of the windows blasting the walls with their hi-powered jet sprays. This meant I had to keep the windows closed. I removed my air-conditioning a few months ago cos they had broken down and I figured I didn't need them. SOo..., no windows, no a/c. The fans were all on but it was still stuffy as fuck. What made it worse was, it completely messed up my routine cos I couldn't just strip anymore. I know a lotta people have far more serious problems, but shit! Not being naked in my own home, well, sucks. Not fun at all. Thankfully it was the long weekend and they took a break, meaning I at least, had 3 days of being able to do my stuff at home in my birthday suit. I don't know if they are done, but the cables and gondolas are still outside so...gotta be a little more aware.

Anyways. A slight reprieve coming up. I'm leaving to Bali tomorrow night for my annual trip. Wooo! That's also part of the reason I have to finish my work tonight (which I should be doing now, instead of blogging...hmm...) I'm all packed, at least. Well, we're not planning to be clothed a lot of the time, so not really much to pack. I brought some "fun" stuff too. I guess that's why, even with so little to pack, my bag is still....fairly large

But enough of that. something else I actually wanted to blog about. I've been wrestling with this for a few days now, not sure if I wanted to let this one out. It's fucking embarrassing, and pretty gross. So if you're gonna get offended, stop reading.

Early last week, the fiance and I had dinner with two of my friends (a married couple) who were in town. These are two of my closer friends, and they are also my playmates (playmates? Can I call them that?). Anyhow, they are part of the group that I'm meeting up with in Bali. The fiance have met them before, but never really interacted. So this was to be my big chance to show them who they are and to introduce him to...that part of my life. He's never been very supportive of that. But anyhow. Things started off cordial, then it got really friendly, which is extremely pleasing. For me. I thought the fiance was gonna flip at some point, but he didn't. And it was fun. The fiance drove us somewhere where we popped open a bottle of wine, sat in the car, and talked some more. Shortly after, my friends asked if we wanted to join them back in their room. I knew it was going to happen, but I didn't let up, and didn't say anything. I admit, I was a little apprehensive, and a LOT excited about the prospect. But I didn't say anything. The fiance just looked at me, then declined. Which was fine.

So we drove them back to their hotel, and dropped them off. After which, the fiance asked if I had wanted to join them. I told him only if he was comfortable with it. He just nodded. I then told him that I was still a bit high, and i still wanted to fuck. He then smiled, and drove us back to the office, which was 5 minutes from where we were. In hindsight, that was pretty dumb, but ah you know, hindsight, 20/20, etc.

He parked, I grabbed the bottle of wine, and we snuck back up into the office, and into his office. It was dark, but we've done this a few times before, so, we were fairly comfortable in the dark. We shut his office door, and started tearing our clothes off each other. It got hot and heavy pretty quickly. Before long, I was in his office chair, which we had pushed all the way back against the wall, and he was between my thighs, slamming his hips into mine. He stopped midway, to rest, and we were both panting, and I asked him to pass me the bottle of wine. He held it up while I took a swig at it, while he started thrusting his hips again. Of course I reacted. I made a muffled sound ( i had wine in my mouth, and the bottle was still on my lips), which, I think, got him excited (weird, I know) and he started thrusting harder, and faster. I finished the rest of the wine, and I guess I was in the mood as well, started sucking on the bottle. That got him off, and he then started to thrust harder and faster. And then he started with the dirty talk.

Him - oh..you like that? Huh? You like sucking on something while getting fucked? Is that it?
Me - (blowing a wine bottle) mmm-hmm
Him - yea? Fuck...you gonna suck Mirco (my friend's husband) off like that? Is that it?
Me - (thinking, hmm...this might be a tad touchy for now. So I didn't respond)
HIm - (Not skipping a beat) You like your holes filled? I know you do...which hole do you like getting filled..?
Me - You can have whichever hole you want...

He then takes the win bottle from me, then turn me to my side, and tries to ass fuck me with the wine bottle, while still slamming his hips into mine. I didn't think it was gonna work. Then again, I was quite high from the wine, and horny as hell. So naturally, I didn't say anything.

After awhile, he realizes that it wasn't gonna work, so he withdraws his dick, and goes all focus on ass fucking me with the wine bottle. At the back of my mind, a little voice shouts out, I don't think that's a good idea. Of course I don't listen to tiny voice. Instead, I hold onto one of my legs and turn a little more onto my belly. And very slowly, he slides the bottle in my ass. He works a steady rhythm, then slides it deeper, and slightly deeper. And then it happens. I feel something churn low in my belly, and I panic, and tell him to stop.

Me - fuck...stop...wait...stop.
Him - (doesn't stop)
Me - waitwait wait...stops stop...
Him - (hears the panic in my voice, but STILL continue sliding bottle in my ass) what?
Me - fuck! STOP!!STOPSTOP!
HIm - (finally panics, yanks bottle out of my ass)
Me - Nooo!! Nonononoooo....
Him - What?? What what what? You ok?
Me - Shit.
Him - What???
Me - Umm...I think, shit

Then the smells hits us, and bam. We take out phones for light, and I plastered the floor, and his office chair, with...uh..well, shit.

There was silence for about 10 seconds, before we both broke out laughing. That, naturally, killed the mood. After collecting ourselves, we snuck into the washrooms to clean ourselves up, then spent then next 2 and a half hours, trying to clean the shit up (sorry, I couldn't resist ) We wheeled his office chair out and disposed of it discreetly, meaning we dumped it in the dumpster of the office building beside ours. LOL And the next day, he just told the cleaners he stepped on poo, hence the smell. They came in and gave it a wash over. I still haven't stepped into his office. LOL I can't even look at him in the office without blushing, and giggling to myself.
I'll end it here. I'm still blushing from writing this down. LOL

T_D_H_1982 37M
1930 posts
7/20/2015 9:37 am

Thanks for sharing such an hilariously awful story! This is why I don't go for butt stuff...


Raven9376 43M
476 posts
7/20/2015 10:33 am

Note to self shit before fucking


scubbieking 52M
184 posts
7/20/2015 2:45 pm

oh well...guess when you are being 'assed', shit happens


FunPleasurable 56M
3998 posts
7/21/2015 8:05 pm

As they say in Famous Anus. - free smells. LOL. Also comes in shitload of crap size - each sold separately.

Fun and Pleasure in Sunny Side Singapore. Come visit my blog and let's chat and explore.


Hoshener 35M
12 posts
7/22/2015 5:18 am

that's hilarious! haha i've tried butt stuff before...wasn't really my thing lol. felt strange and yes felt like i needed to take a shit! lol


shakeurbonbons 36M  
196 posts
7/22/2015 9:49 am

Oh Em Geee 😂😂😂


discreteSteve62 52M
2077 posts
4/7/2016 2:24 am

This is slightly tragic but very funny.

I've always been hesitant to play with the back door, and this is one of the reasons. Fortunately, in the few times I've dared, I haven't experienced such a mishap.


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