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Real Thoughts
Pensive thoughts from a straight up man
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Uploading videos
Posted:Feb 7, 2020 5:29 am
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2020 9:10 pm

Won't be surprised if this post is rejected but wondering if anyone is having problems with uploading videos?
How important is having a conversation?
Posted:Jul 22, 2019 7:43 pm
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2019 6:37 am

When males and females interact with each other, it seems there are always reactions any given issue. that perplexes me is the need (or importance) of having a conversation.

I've heard some women state that most men cannot carry a decent conversation, hoping they would want get know someone rather than becoming aggressive and such. There is the other of women feel that having a conversation is a waste of time or even that they think the man is looking have a serious relationship (LTR, dating, etc) if he tries have a conversation with them.

For me, having a conversation and being able communicate is important. I am not going judge a woman necessarily on her grammar and content of conversation but offering monosyllabic responses or an unwillingness discuss basic things is a turn off, let alone asking questions but not willing answer the . It is a bit of a surprise that some women I have attempted converse with expect me meet them without knowing anything about them ;some have even asked me come over late night after talking for a few minutes! (Would you meet me late night after a short talk? Then why would you expect me do that??)

I know I can be criticized for wanting talk but I would rather have a boring or terrible conversation that would help me avoid a bad meeting than not talking at all or very little. Of course I'd prefer have a meaningful conversation where we get know each other likes and dislikes and eventually come a conclusion on if a meeting is possible.

I feel having a conversation is important and it is far more beneficial than not having or having a bad conversation.

Being "real" again
1 comment
Please read my profile
Posted:Jul 22, 2019 4:42 am
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2020 12:59 am

It is something we see on a lot of profiles to Please Read My Profile. But have you ever considered how problematic that can be and the hypocrisy of some?

Now before I give my thoughts let us agree that there are people who do not read the profiles. This applies to Gold members who clearly have the opportunity to read the profile at some point.

First, standard members will NOT be able to read a profile. At best they will get a thumbnail that might give one paragraph at best. So any disqualifying information in your profile has to be in the first paragraph to have any chance of even being partially read.

Next, if you are accessing AdultFriendFinder on a mobile device, you cannot see the preferences or a full description. I blame AdultFriendFinder for this (one of many problems on this website). I will switch to the web version when I can to read the profile before considering replying.

But I think an overlooked item here is that the person asking you to read her profile HAS TO READ YOUR PROFILE AS WELL!! What do I mean by that?...

I came across a profile that I liked so I emailed the member, told her I liked it and would be open to chatting (She is a Gold member). She responded asking my name and what was I looking for? Now I really think my profile clearly defines my purpose here but for the sake of conversation I answered her questions briefly then asked her for her name and what she was looking for? Care to guess her response? Please read my profile.

I told her I thought it was hypocritical to ask me to read her profile (which I did) when she clearly did not read mine. I also told her I answered her questions thinking she wanted to have a conversation and thought she should have given me the same opportunity and that her name is not in her profile. I know double standards exists her but it is still irritating when it happens.

So I know it is unlikely anything will change but it does not hurt to state Real Thoughts
"Smash and Dip"
Posted:Jul 5, 2019 5:55 pm
Last Updated:Jul 5, 2019 8:50 pm

I heard this term on a satellite radio show a few months ago and whereas I never used the term myself, as soon as I heard it I knew exactly what it mean. It dealt with women (in particular although certain men do it) who pretty much did the " it and quit it" thing when having sex. I began wondering if that had happened to ? Of course it has!

This year I met 3 women on here in the space of 3 months (including my first international pussy . Nothing earth-shattering about the sex so I can accept that. A few weeks later I suspected they wanted to have sex not so much because of sex or attraction but just to prove to themselves that there were real people on AdultFriendFinder who would actually meet for sex. The radio show got me thinking about it more.

OK with "smash and dip" if that was truly the case. I can honestly say I haven't done that since if I've been speaking with you then I have an interest if you're sincerely interested as well. But so long as the meeting is safe then no harm no foul.

Another "real" thought
1 comment
How far will you travel for sex?
Posted:Jul 5, 2019 5:19 am
Last Updated:Jul 5, 2019 5:42 pm

So as I speak with women here, obviously some are a distance away so the question sometimes comes up on how to meet. I tend to get around a bit so if I know I'm going to be in a certain area I'll try to work something out but what if someone is in a remote area/small city.

There seems to be a feeling that the man should make the effort to travel but I think that's a recipe for disaster. Personally I wouldn't do that, I have to have a reason to visit in case things don't work out. I have some women take it personally that I'm not coming "just to see them" but given how women have no problems rejecting men, why would any man put themselves in that position?

I think the best approach (assuming that one person isn't scheduled to visit, meeting family, business, etc.) is to simply work together to plan a trip, meet at that location and see how it goes. I know it sounds like a dream and I've never been completely successful doing that (I was supposed to meet someone in Florida and when I got there found she was arrested for shoplifting) but because I made plans (and we made them together) it wasn't a waste of time. That being said, I'd like to see a bit of willingness or understand from women if a long distance is involved if there's sincerity in meeting.

Just a "real" thought
Looking for a problem when none exists
Posted:Sep 3, 2018 6:28 pm
Last Updated:Jul 5, 2019 5:20 am

A criticism I have of women is that no matter how polite, considerate, or cooperative you are there is this idea that "something is wrong" with a man.. Call it looking for perfection, a deep suspicion or whatever but I've had this happen to me more often than I care to admit. Not going to go over some of my experiences just yet but I'll post a snippet of a conversation I had with a member recently and see what you think:

(This isn't the entire email, too lengthy but it progressed into accusations and erroneous comments from her until the end)

Her: I owe you an apology. I reviewed your profile just now. The videos I viewed must have been from another profile. I distinctly remember them being dated recently in 2018. I receive so many emails. I must have viewed a profile and confused it with your email. I do not have multiple partners. I do reserve the right to say I am not interested if someone does.

Me: Me: You know I have had women here confuse me with others in the past and normally I don't receive an apology. It is a bit of a double standard as if a man makes the same mistake he's accused of being a womanizer. One thing I've found with some women is that they look for the worst in a man no matter how polite he is; it happens to me more often than I care to admit. But as I mentioned previously I shake it off and move on. I wish you the best in your AdultFriendFinder experiences.

Her: I ask straight forward questions. This is an adult website. How you entertain it is at your discretion. If someone wants to play with me, I believe I have every right to ask questions about your sexual habits. If you take offense by that, yes it is best to pass me by.

Me: asking straight forward questions won’t be helpful if they’re inaccurate. You’ve already admitted you mixed me up with someone else and despite that I DID answer your questions. One thing that we can agree on is moving on.

Her: I apologized, yet you continue. I will make so that neither of us makes contact again...

All I ask of a woman is to not be so quick to make accusations, especially if your "facts" are incorrect or inaccurate. Don't look for perfection if you're not perfect. Be open, honest, and respectful the same as you expect others to be of you. Sounds simple enough to do but I guess it's still difficult for some to do.

Just another "real" thought
Mommy/ fantasy
Posted:Jan 7, 2018 6:00 am
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2019 5:41 pm

In my camming experiences I've had chats with a couple of older women who had a (of legal age of course, or I hope!) watching my cam together. Now I think older women are underestimated in their sexual prowess but along with a that started turning me on about a threesome with them (had long chats and pic exchanges with one). I've been searching to see if there are groups on this but I haven't seen anything. Just wondering how others (men and women) feel about mommy/ fantasies (or even father/ for the women)? Anyone who has actually experienced this situation?

Asking a "Real" question
Caesars Windsor this weekend
Posted:Mar 9, 2017 3:25 am
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2020 12:59 am

Spending two nights at Caesars Windsor. If you have a clean, unattached, wet pussy that needs something dark and hard in it then drop me a line
Camming and chatting
Posted:Dec 11, 2016 9:21 pm
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2016 2:52 pm

OK so after seeing how AdultFriendFinder has totally screwed up the IM function, especially with camming, I thought I'd give my thoughts on it. Some of these items I've mentioned previously but it's worthwhile to mention again.

First, I'm not sure if anyone realizes that all of your messages are being seen by everyone; including cam invites and sending pictures. That and it also looks like that even when you're chatting privately during a cam, people see the responses of the person who is replying to the private chat. BOTH RESPONDERS need to turn on the private chat. I blame this more on AdultFriendFinder since previously you could simply open a chat window in IM and select the person and it would be private. It's much more difficult to do now. If you don't want your conversations to be seen SEND IT PRIVATELY and the responder needs to do the same.

On a side note, it's rather comical seeing webcam invitations being sent to the cammer (applies more to men watching women). Referring to my earlier statement, since everyone can see your “invite”, anyone else in the cam room can see it as well and thus click on it. So you may be getting unintended viewers. If you don't mind that's OK but I'm just saying others can view your cam invite if you don't send it PRIVATELY!

Having a conversation while camming is now problematic. I'm always going to be friendly with women and chat with them as it also (I think) shows I'm not fake but I'm finding that some women want to only have 1-on-1 chats (without any regard that I may be conversing with someone already). I think it's unfair (and borderline rude) for someone to come into my cam chat and expect me to chat with only them. If you want to get to know me better and have a private chat I'm for that but asking if I'm interested is much more polite and respectful than getting upset because I'm talking with others. If I decided not to chat with you then you'd accuse me of being a bot or a fake profile but I see now why some cammers don't have conversations with viewers.

I have never tried to force anyone to cam2cam with me but if you're watching me then it's fair for me to ask about camming or asking for pictures. If you want to call me a pic collector or think it's unfair to ask you about camming that's your perogative but I also think that so long as I ask politely in the course of a conversation there shouldn't be any issues in asking. If you don't cam that's fine and if you prefer not to share pics that's fine but for some of you watching me cam you honestly become rather indignant and pompous to try to "direct" me on cam but not share any pictures.

I always reserve the right to ban people from my chat just as you reserve the right not to watch me. I have a few women who thoroughly enjoy watching and we have nice chats and share pics. If a person doesn't like what they see you can simply leave, my feelings won't be hurt. These are normally the same people who don't cam, have a pictureless profiles, or won't share pictures; I think you're being hypocrites.

In the end if I focus more on being polite and respectful here (even though I may not be reciprocated) and understand that there is an entertainment factor then I'll be OK.
Another “Real” thought.
Is it BBC or BBC? BBW or BBW?
Posted:Jan 13, 2016 10:25 am
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2016 9:21 pm

One of the acronyms that intrigue me is "BBC". Now when I see women use it, it seems to mean Big Black Cock. The great majority of the time white women use this term; men and black women typically don't seem to use it. When I cam I'd have to say the majority of women who view me are white and tell me I'm a BBC. I'm a bit flattered but I've never thought of myself as such; I stick to my tagline, "I swell nicely " and tell them so.

But could BBC also mean Big Beautiful Cock (just like BBW tends to mean Big Beautiful Woman). I've heard from women complaining about receiving rather rude, almost racist comments from men when informed they're looking for a BBC. One of the things I do first when I view a profile of a woman outside my race is to check the race preference; race is the one preference I never try to convince women to change. If there's no compatibility there (an X) then move on and if not then you can ask and see what her response will be.

Not too many women will refer to white dick/cock as BWC; rather they use the all-encompassing adjective "hung". And for that matter, BBW could mean Beautiful Black Woman.

The point I'm trying to make is that the acronyms being used could mean many things and the way to clear the confusion is to read the profile and if you're still not certain of the intent then simply ask.

A "real" thought
Using shorthand and emoticons, emojies
Posted:Dec 25, 2015 8:53 am
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2020 12:59 am

Being an IT guy I tend to understand and accept technology things a bit easier than others (except how poor the IM is here!! ). One conversation I see a lot of is using shorthand and emoticons\emojies).

On IM, when someone uses shorthand it's not always because of laziness, immaturity, nor unable\unwilling to form complete sentences. It's because if you're on a phone and\or using IM, there is normally a character limitation (including spaces and punctuation) of 185. So using shorthand is helpful to get your point across without having to send additional messages. Of course, if you're to the point you shouldn't have to worry about it but still it's a convenience created from technology.

Using shorthand when sending an email or posting in a forum is different. There are normally no severe limitations (I think here it's 1000 characters if not more) so complete words should be used to clarify\state a point or to introduce yourself.

So for those of you critical of people using "hi how r u"? and you're on phone or IM think about technology being used and don't be so critical of those using shorthand. If you don't know the meaning you can ask or lookup references on just about any shorthand abbreviation being used. For those of you hooked on shorthand, consider contact first in complete words and if the reply contains shorthand then it should be considered OK for you to use it (not counting the hypocrites here of course LO.

Another "real" thought and Buon Natale
Camming thoughts (etiquette, do's and don'ts)
Posted:Dec 12, 2015 7:39 am
Last Updated:Dec 11, 2016 9:24 pm

Some "real" thoughts when I cam or watching a cam:

When I approach a woman I never pressure them into watching me if they haven't watched me before. I always ask if there's into watching cams and if they're not then I respect their preference and move on.

On the same note, don't get upset if a man asks if you're into watching cams, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE CAMMING(??) A simple, "no I'm not into watching", or a similar polite statement is all that's needed. There are plenty of voyeurs out there who do like to watch (and I understand they may not want to chat while watching).

Also, with this being an adult website, heed the AdultFriendFinder warning about "erotic content". If you're expecting me to show my face, smiling and having a conversation then you're in the wrong place. For those who cam doing that it's their prerogative to do so but for those stroking, masturbating, having sex, etc. on cam that doesn't make them sexual deviants.

If you're watching me on cam and you seem interested, I'll start a conversation and will ask for a picture. I think it's fair if you're watching me so don't get upset about it. Just politely decline and I'll go from there. If you have a pictureless profile, you will normally give yourself away that you're actually a man but I've conversed with women without pictures and I'm OK with it. If you want to accuse me of being a picture collector I'm OK with that but I'm interested in how you look just like you're interested in how I look.

I don't mind you asking me to do something simple to verify my cam is live and real but I'm not an animal doing tricks so don't ask me to do different positions. If you don't like my cam you can freely and willingly leave and I also reserve the right to remove you from my cam if I think you're being unreasonable, disrespecting, etc.

I'm not into men watching me for the most part. That's not being homophobic, it's my preference. I've let some men watch for a bit then remove them. By habit, I never let a man see me cum unless he's part of a hetero couple (I've had couples watch me as porn and that's OK). And being frank, men will do "penis comparisons" (or maybe more accurately cam comparisons) so that's life.

Being "real" as always
Flirts, Hotlist, Friends, or a message?
Posted:Dec 8, 2015 1:34 pm
Last Updated:Dec 9, 2015 2:53 pm

When I first got on this website, flirts and hotlisting went from amusing to annoying. I couldn't understand, especially with Gold members sending them why an introductory message didn't follow. Over time I just accepted flirts and hotlisting for what they were; sometimes automated bots, shyness, just looking at the goods, etc. I've never sent a flirt myself but I do hotlist sometimes so I can keep track of women who've intrigued me and sometimes those hotlistings turn into women to chat with on a regular basis.

Friend(ing) is a bit of a different story. Sometimes these friend requests are automated and I tend to ignore them. I take a request more seriously if I've chatted with a woman and then receive a friend request. I'll sometimes accept requests from couples but NEVER men or TS/TG as I'm only interested in women. Me, I ALWAYS send a message if I'm interested and disregard flirting.

The problem with friend requests is frankly I don't want to be one of a hundred, thousand, or million. I know AdultFriendFinder gives benefits to those with a large list of friends but to me that defeats the purpose of friends. When I accept a friend request, I'm hoping there's a chance of eventually meeting by talking regularly. If, after time, I don't receive contact (or being ignored) then I remove that individual from my friend list. Even if there is a long distance between us, so long as there is periodic contact I'm OK with being friends. In this case, quality is definitely better than quantity, at least for me.

Just being "real"
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