Anal Sex & God's Will :)
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Posted:Nov 23, 2009 5:26 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2024 6:25 pm
10134 Views
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I am no Christian, and in no way am I trying to defame Christianity...
But if the below excerpt from a website i came across is true, then God is in my favor! LOL
Too bad my fiancee and me aren't Christians. Have a read, and take it with a pinch of salt 
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Anal Sex in Accordance with God's Will
Are you saving yourself for your wedding night? The Devil wants you to fail, that's why he puts stumbling blocks in your way. But God wants you to succeed, and that's why he has given us an alternative to intercourse before marriage: anal sex. Through anal sex, you can satisfy your body's needs, while you avoid the risk of unwanted pregnancy and still keep yourself pure for marriage.
You may be shocked at first by this idea. Isn't anal sex (sodomy) forbidden by the Bible? Isn't anal sex dirty? What's the difference between having anal sex before marriage and having regular intercourse? Let's address these issues by debunking some myths about anal sex and God's will.
I thought the Bible said anal sex was a sin.
This is a common misconception. Anal sex is confusing to many Christians because of the attention paid to the Bible's condemnation of homosexual acts. However, it's important to realize that these often quoted scriptures refer only to sexual acts between two men. Nowhere does the Bible forbid anal sex between a male and female.
In fact, many Biblical passages allude to the act of anal sex between men and women. Lamentations 2:10 describes how 'the virgins of Jerusalem have bowed their heads to the ground,' indicating how a virginal maidens should position themselves to receive anal sex. Another suggestive scripture tells of a woman's pride in her 'valley' (referring to her buttocks and the cleft between them) and entices her lover to ejaculate against her backside: 'How boastful you are about the valleys! O backsliding who trusts in her treasures, {saying,} ' Who will come against me?' (Jeremiah 49:4) And in the Song of Songs, the lover urges his mate to allow him to enter her from behind: 'Draw me after you, let us make haste.'(Song of Solomon, 1:4)
Isn't anal sex dirty?
The Bible says, 'To the pure, all things are pure.' (Titus 1:15) The Lord created your body, and no part of it is imperfect or unclean. God also created our bodies for pleasure, and anal sex is just one of the many ways, including standard sexual intercourse, that we can enjoy this pleasure and share it with a partner.
Although the anus is used for elimination, in reality it is not as dirty as you think, especially after a shower or bath. Elimination is also a natural process of our God-given bodies, so our conception of the anal area as dirty has more to do with our own psychological hang-ups. If the idea of direct contact with this area is still distasteful to you, the male can wear a condom as a barrier
If you're going to have anal sex, why not just have regular sex?
This is a good question: If you're going to have sexual contact before marriage, why not just go the whole nine yards and have regular sex? There are many good reasons for having anal sex instead. The first reason is practical: having conventional vaginal intercourse can lead to unwanted pregnancies. While it's true that the Lord bade us to 'be fruitful and multiply,' (Gen 1:22) the Bible also counsels that 'For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.'(Ecl. 3:1) Pregnancy outside of wedlock can have dire and life-altering consequences for all those involved. Having anal sex allows you to greatly reduce this risk.
Second, for a young woman who has never engaged in sexual intercourse, having anal sex allows her to preserve her virginity (i.e., maintain an intact hymen) until marriage. There is no greater gift that a bride can give than to offer her pure, unsullied maidenhead to her husband on their wedding night.
Finally, anal sex allows both partners to save the most intimate and powerful sexual act, that of face-to-face vaginal intercourse, for their mates in marriage. This type of sexual relationship represents the most powerful union between a man and a woman, and so it rightfully should be reserved for one's life partner. Fortunately, you can engage in anal sex prior to marriage and still be able to share the deeper, more meaningful act of consecrated love through vaginal intercourse with your wedded spouse.
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P.S.: this is just for your reading pleasure and LOLz, please don't flame me... I just support anal sex
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Nice T-Shirt!
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Posted:Nov 3, 2009 12:06 am
Last Updated:Nov 26, 2009 12:34 am
9978 Views
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I guess this will look funnier on a girl than on a guy.
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Pleasure ....and my imagination
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Posted:May 13, 2009 1:26 am
Last Updated:Jun 26, 2009 5:59 pm
9659 Views
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The word pleasure is one that i'd not use in work emails.
In fact, I tend to avoid it...
I always associate the word pleasure with the image of a satisfied woman shuddering in orgasm, whereby I'll only look at her for a couple of seconds and look at her pussy, where i was working hard at.
It's been a real long time i get to associate the word pleasure
If you are not sure what pleasure meant, here is the meaning of it from the Merriam Webster:
1: desire, inclination (wait upon his pleasure – Shakespeare)
2: a state of gratification
3 a: sensual gratification b: frivolous amusement
4: a source of delight or joy
It's so suggestive isn't it??
And why do i associate it with my imagination, you might ask..
Well, few days ago, i was working with a foreign , she is from China. (I seems to deal with Chinese a lot... gimme a Korean or a Hot South African woman next time, boss... please!!). She, well. .. I must say, dressed appropriately for the type of work we are about to do.
It was a preparation for an exhibition.
She was dressed in a tank top and shorts... it was ruined by the height of her socks though... Being stereotypical, I was glad her underarms was pleasantly free of hair (phew~~!) 
Prior to our meeting, we called each other often as i supposed it might be easier for her should i speak in Mandarin to her regarding some urgent issues rather than type out a mandarin email, where i might take ages...
Her email replies was really... kinky i must say... My imagination must have been running wild or it must be that i have not released my load for 2 weeks...
It will definitely begin with:
"It was a great pleasure talking to you on the phone..." or "It was such a pleasurable experience to talk to you on the phone"
Now, silly sweaty was imagining that she was putting her fingers on her crotch and rubbing herself gently, closing her eyes as we speak about who do we fill in (no pun intended) as the Consignee... LOL
You can say she tried to be polite, or that she have learned English language in a different way...
The next few phone calls thereafter, we were chatting on more casual things like where to go, what to do in SG.. (she even asked about the infamous Geylang!)... all on company expense
So now i've met her... she's tall, not well endowed on the chest, but she sure have long legs and flawless complexion. The shorts she wore was a perfect compliment to her long slender legs... too bad she wore socks too high. 
Our first greeting was rather simple... we shook hands... (her hand are so tiny~!) while I introduced myself formally...
And she began with "It's great pleasure to shake for you, K****!"
I was stunned... and my mind was wondering elsewhere, picturing myself laying on the floor right where we are and she "shakes"" for me, asking me "Is this great pleasure???"
LOL
I must be having too little sex...
I eventually woke up from my blasphemous daydream and continued with my work, assuring her that all will be completed within the time frame... and I will find the time to show her, and her colleague around (too bad she was with another older, not so "to my taste" lady...)
Well... i couldn't manage on time... and when i completed the job, I found her, she was still sitting outside, but fell asleep ... her colleague went back to the hotel though.
I apologized to her profusely. Treated her to a dinner at Newton... and sent her back. Just as I planned initially
We did not go Geylang, nor the did we go for movies...
...and nothing happened I must have lost my balls somewhere!
Well... no "pleasure" lol!
All the pictures of her arching her back and closing her eyes in pleasure just disappeared as she said "Good evening (SIC), see you tomorrow!" and closed the door.
Today, I'm gonna show her around the night view of Singapore...
I will give an update of what happens. 
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One of the better flings
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Posted:Mar 5, 2009 7:02 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2024 6:25 pm
9684 Views
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From my previous post, I mentioned about this lady known as "Miao Er" (Yeah, it sounds coquettishly KTV-esque)..
While I was working in a Semicon company as a senior tech, she was a real great source of relieve for me.
Always understanding and gentle...albeit we have to converse in Chinese most of the time... yes, you should have known by the name.. she's from PRC. (The name's fake though it's close)This is not an FR in Sammyboy forum... (Ask me what is it if you do not know)
I always seems to write how miserable sex can turn out to be, but this one, I must say, is totally different. I can truly what is meant by No Strings Attached through her.
This story is gonna be quite long, so you might have to bear with me for a while. It's all about discreet pleasant and unforgettable fun within the workplace..
When she just came, (I mean, join the company), she was this SYT with extremely large eyes, although she seems to be void of boobs, she was pleasantly well endowed at her bottom. (You'll have to take off her panties to know. My current squeeze was one of her colleagues and I was just a technician roving around to scout for newly inbound cuties.
We all wore mask, but she easily stood out amongst the rest with her large peepers. It looked cartoon-ish... not like Betty boob, but rather like any other Jap manga girls. (So... friends in Clean Room fields, you might wanna try looking out for who I'm talking about, but i guess the description is too general)
We do talk and joke sometimes. She had a gentle demeanor amidst her jovial personality. Sometimes, when people ask if she have a boyfriend, she will tell people I would be her next prospective boyfriend if i got dumped... (yeah, that did get me into hot soup sometimes)
She also likes to give my G/F & I little things like sweets and toys whenever she goes overseas to have fun. She became good friends with my girl
There was once I brought her to MOS with my friends (My G/F is the lazy to go out type... so she asked me to bring Miao-er out to look around) and ...man, she could gyrate! Even though she was popular with my friends, she stuck close to me most of the time... I felt honored, but yet worried that I might just fall for her.
I was subconsciously mesmerized by her, even though she was good friends to both my G/F & me.
So one day, during work, I went over at her call to service her...machine. She got the input procedures all wrong... So i told her she could have just looked for my G/F instead to help her... there's no need for a technician to solve this.
I was trying my best to avoid getting my feelings stirred.
She replied: "I just want to know you better... I can see you like me" (in perfect English~!)
I was obviously astonished. How does she know?
"Because I rike you too" she said. "Tall, dark and polite... very nice... your girrfren lucky" (English seems to become half past six...)
(She didn't say HANDSOME... noticed?? )
So I told her everything about myself... and she seems not satisfied... and said that wasn't all... she wanted to know how satisfied I am with my G/F...
I said... I dunno, I have not laid her how would I know.. (Must be my ALL frustration building up...venting it out at the right opportunity).
So she around and dragged me into a grey area (Grey area in clean rooms stands for areas without clean room air standard) and cupped her hands on my groin...feeling up my cock which quickly hardened in her palms.
"Not bad~!" she said, she pulled down her mask and she grinned. "She really lucky!" She proceeded to unzip my jumpsuit and dived her hands into my pants.
I was trembling with fear that my G/F will storm in... but I just remembered she was attending training elsewhere.. and I felt more at ease. I dismissed this as a method my G/F used to test me... I pushed her away.
"Aiyah~! don't play la!" I said to her.."You crazy??" said I, swirling my finger which is pointed at my temple and closed in to her face.
She promptly pulled down my mask and... I pecked her lips. (GASP~!) I guess i couldn't control myself. Our lips were glued together for a while before we were entwined in embrace like lovers... I have never felt this urge or passion from my G/F for the longest time. (This method of taking people by surprise seems to be my standard move... a rather bad one, now that i try to think about it)
She suddenly stopped , smiled coyly, pulled back her mask and ran back to her machine... I stood there bewildered with a raging hard on...
I told myself... I had to fuck her...I guess I was too full down there.. LOL!
Even though I was worried this might be some tricks to extort me (you know all those news about their people conning old folks)I couldn't control myself.. I was enamored by her kiss.
She woke me up by saying " You are attached~!! You got gurrfrent"
I was struck with guilt and regret.
But she stood close and said to me we could have some NSA fun... right here...
I grabbed her hand and brought her into a storeroom... there was a cleaner there... so I told her to wait for me downstairs. I told her not to worry as it's night shift, no one would be downstairs.
She went first... I followed after 20 minutes.
We begin continuing where we stopped... kissing and touching her everywhere. Our lips locked tightly and her tongue was exploring my mouth...but I can't believe it when she started taking off her clothes and she sat onto my lup chiong...
"What you doing??" I asked.
"Very hot... I need your cock... put inside" she panted (in english)
I went in and...
WOOOOT~~! My mind swirled into ecstasy and blankness... her tightness and wetness was amazing. She slid down slowly, letting out a soft moan... followed with short gentle hip movement. I was looking at her blankly, heart was beating at a rate you'd get from running away from a pack of dogs and trying my best to control myself not to let my already full balls shoot out it's contents.
Just then, we heard footsteps... (FARK LAH!! ONLY A FEW MINUTES LEH!!)
We quickly dressed up and she pretended to take out her phone... We could see a man in blue shirt coming... It was the security..
"Whad tiew doing?" asked the indian guy.
"I talking with him... " she said.. standing close to me to cover my cock, which was almost shooting out all it's contents. (I have no time to stuff my dick back into my jeans.) I just nodded like an idiot. I stuffed her bra and panties into my pocket and i can see her beige shorts getting moist.
The old guy said "Faster faster... go back work!" and closed the stairwells door and turned away.
After a while, when he was far away, Miao-er squatted down and held my throbbing cock into her mouth and sucked it a little. Like having a mind of it's own, my cock spurted non-stop like the Merlion. I closed my eyes with satisfaction....
She spat out all in a tissue.A whole pack was used up as the load was ...rather impressive i must say. (In this sense, somehow my G/F was better... SHE SWALLOWS!! OMFG~!)
I never felt so good for a long time.
"I haven't got stimulated enough yet.." she sulked. I kissed her cheeks and tried to kiss her lips... she avoided hastily.
I was stunned...
"I cannot love you... I can only play with you... I am married in China already..." she said. "You must help me by not letting me fall for you.. we just play, ok?" (in mandarin)
I felt a sense of regret and guilt. But I feel obliged to give her a good time... She looked at her watch and said it's time for her to go up. She went into the toilet and I followed her in.
I sheeshed her and asked her to take off her shirt & shorts.. I dragged her into the cubicle. She pulled down her shorts and I squatted down to begin my mission.
I placed my tongue onto her (hairy) vajayjay and licked her in swift and steady strokes, followed by paying attention to her clit. She was wetting her shorts that are around ankles as her juice ran down her thighs.
She parted her own (hairy) labia with her fingers and I licked with more vigor... she let out a loud moan.. I quickly stood up to cover her mouth... She didn't seem to care, she just closed her eyes in ecstasy
I took out my lup chiong and wanted to penetrate her... Just then.... my phone rang...
"DAMN!! GOD, FOR THE NTH TIME, PLEASE LET ME FUCK PROPERLY...JUST ONCE!!!" I thought to myself.
It was my G/F...
"Where you now?" she asked
I told her I doing big business in the loo and told her to call back. Just then, Miao-er fished out her undies from my pockets and dressed up.
"We stop here.. thank you!" she said. "My husband never do that for me". And she left.
I was surprised... yet not so surprised... maybe it was the hair, i thought.
That was our first encounter... I realized I could do as what she asked me to; I did not fall for her and treated her like a FB.
From then on, we would secretly find time to satisfy each other (sans the main course of penetrative sex)at the same place.
Sometimes, at work, she would openly slap my bums and shout "Nice Ass!" Our closeness have aroused the suspicion of our colleagues ...eventually my girlfriend.
I got tired of my Girl's suspicion therefore Miao-er & I agreed to meet less... and lesser as time goes by.
We did try to quench my lust by meeting up outside.. she knows I am one with a rather insatiable sex drive. But it was always hard... (as in the situation, not my prick): Either she would need to go for overtime or I would be with my girlfriend.
It got harder when her husband came over the to the same company to work as a technician under me...
How fated could it be?....
We eventually stopped meeting and we remained friends.. Her husband & I are good friends now.
Up till now, sometimes she would play pranks and bluff me she was pregnant and she will loudly shout "My lover... where you go!?" in front of my girlfriend & her hubby, where the both have gotten used to her antics and dismissed it as her style of joking.
As usual, I was ridden with guilt when that happens.
But it was unforgettable fun. Now that I no longer work there, I wonder who will be satisfying her lust. She wanted to meet me a while ago, but I declined....
Maybe i will meet her again the next time she ask me out....
(p.s. Not long ago, I saw the security guy while I was with my girlfriend... and he waved this finger in an accusing manner ... LOL!)
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Call for Fuck
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Posted:Jan 5, 2009 11:37 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2009 1:38 am
9655 Views
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How's New Year?
Mine sucked. I came back hom from work at 11.31pm....My internet was down so i didn't even had a chance to wank... not to mention my girl went to party with her hens....
But come to think of it, some her friends are rather hot... there was one in particular called "Miao-er" (Sounds KTV... i know.) She is one horny young nympho. She had my number and we used to work together... We didn't really had sex all the time, but the action was pretty good... but I'm not talking about this now.
Well, back to more recent.... I was surfing AdultFriendFinder while my boss is away, and the secretary was on half-day leave.... and basically, the office is rather vacant.
As i seldom used the chat function (due to non replies), I decided to have a go.. I clicked chat, south east asia, broadcast webcam yadda yadda yadda yadaa and waited for the screen to load.
OK...there are very few SG ladies... so i randomly clicked one. Hey, I seen the nickname before... so i said hi, and asked where are her pics... She had nice boobs as far as i can remember.
So she said she decided to remove them to avoid being recognized. Fair enough. So i went on to describe what i'll do with her melons...
I'll dice them, saute with butter then add mushrooms, broccoli and prawns and ... kidding!
Ok, there are few things you can actually do with them... so i just mentioned the usual lah: Licking the underside, licking & twiddling the nipples...
Suddenly, a set of numbers appeared, followed by this message:
"Call me, Sweaty. Let's meet"
WOW!! ICANTBELIEVEMYFOOKINGLUCK!
Okay, i took down the number and her name in my mobile... pressed dial.
A bit of sweaty palms and music dial tone ensues... suddenly, the tone was interrupted by a weak "Hello..."
I heard some panting... and...
I HANGED UP..
Yeah... you might want to ask "HELLO!! WTF!!??"
Beats me too... I wondered why i chickened out.
Probably it's guilt... probably I've learn my lesson. Probably i'm turning gay.
I still can't fathom why i did that. Given my suppressed sex life, i though i would literally jump into any opportunity to have sex.
But i didn't! And I'm turning into a chicken!
Then she messaged "You call for fuck??"
I think she meant the other one... not the literal meaning.
Well... I guess I've changed... probably it's stress from planning my marriage.
I have yet to call her again. I wonder if i should sometimes. But i can't help but feel that i should wait for my girl to be ready. Maybe she never will be... but i guess I'll add being patient (I can't be a doctor, wat! [Lame joke right??])to my New Year resolution.
Meanwhile, i wish for the rest of you people here to have a (sexually) fulfilled life for this New year.
Cheers!
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Dilemma
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Posted:Nov 24, 2008 5:24 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2010 3:45 am
10441 Views
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I did manage to coax my girlfriend to shave.... man, i'd love to post the pics of my fruit of 'persuasion' but she won't allow.
Gave her my best shot with my tongue, with only 15mins of rest throughout the 1 and a half hours of "bed-wetting". My mouth was strangely dry despite the wetness all around... perhaps it's because my tongue was sticking out all the time.
Makes me wonder how dogs feel better by sticking their tongue out.
She signaled me to stop and pulled my hair while I went on, oblivious to the hand signal. I can't see as I was looking down.
So I stopped, like an engine, slowing down my flicking to gentle strokes on the wet outer lips and then stopping at the engorged clit - ala 4th gear change gradually to 1st gear.
I loved the sight of her writhing in pleasure; her head tilted backwards and back arched, with legs twitching and face pinkish red...
I felt really horny...
So i did what i normally won't if I'm on a mission to pleasure my lady: I asked her if she could return a favor.
She sulked.
Well, it's OK, i thought... so I proceeded to park my groin near hers... and as i was about to go in...
"What do you think you are doing??" she yelled.
Me: ????
"You are not going to use me, are you?" She asked
Me: Well, dear, I thought that maybe we could get closer...
She: "Not anymore, You already disturbed me from reading my novel just now... you had enough fun!"
Me: "...." Then I drove her off the bed so i can take the bed sheet to wash while I blow dry the mattress.
She was nonchalant about the fact that i'm suffering from blue balls.
So, being cheap and thick-skinned, i tried to lick her again, and I was really expecting that she might throw a big tantrum....But what come may, might as well take it as an excuse to to ask her to fuck off if that happens.
To my surprise, she was pushing my head towards her cheebye!
Damn!
But being nice, i carried on, and there goes her 3rd orgasm... on the floor this time.
Okay... fair enough, she came thrice! So I asked her again
"So.. .can i?" I asked.
"No dear, remember you said I can reject you so I can remain a virgin till we get married?"
Me: ............. (then wanders of with a string of angry thoughts)
.................................................................
HELLO!! WTF??
AT LEAST GIMME A BLOWIE LAH!! WAH PIANG EH! CANNOT HELP MEH? LIM PEH DUN WANT TO FORCE MY KUKU JIAO INTO YOUR MOUTH OK? I'LL MAKE SURE YOU DROWN WITH MY CUM!
.................................................................
and I awake from my angry thoughts... and told her:
"Sorry dear, I understand!" I said, kissed her and turned around towards the door to make a glass of warm milk for her.
She stopped me.
"Sorry dear... but I just don't want to feel used by you.."
I smiled and stroked her hair, wandering into a slew of thoughts again.
..........................................................................
Am I asking for too much? Yes, I did tell her she can remain a virgin until we get married... but she was having an orgasm from ORAL SEX! Theoretically, she have engaged in a sexual act... unless you talk about being a virgin biologically of course! BUT THIS IS THE MUTHAFARKING 00s! Being virgin? it's like....is like..
..it's quite nice actually.
Isn't it?
Imagine that you get to draw first blood: You lube her pussy with your tongue and her own juice from all the licking. You go "Mwuahahahahahahaha!" at her, lick your lips devilishly followed by an evil grin, then suddenly thrust your cock (lup chiong or kuku jiao for my instance) she squirms in pain with an agonized look on her face
Wait a minute... "squirms in pain" & "agonized look" is not erotic.
Makes me wonder.... why i go for a virgin? If given a choice, maybe I'd have wished she wasn't one.
(if you wanna ask, yes, her hymen is still visible)
But then, when I chose her, I didn't care if she was a virgin or if she had a gangbang before - that will be her past.
However, when she told me she was a virgin, i was elated (and my lup chiong erected). I really wonder why did i feel that way.
Dilemma...
[Glossary: ]
Lup Chiong: Chinese Preserved Sausages, thin and wrinkled in appearance. (Go google)
Kuku Jiao: Hokkien Slang for man's bird. Usually refers to smaller ones of the human penis. (go google, but i doubt you can find it)
Cheebye: Hokkien for Vajayjay (Go google... this one can find)
Lim Peh: Hokkien Slang for 'Your father'. A rude expression for describing oneself when threatening or scolding someone else. As in Pwning someone.
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Drool
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Posted:Nov 18, 2008 10:37 pm
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2009 7:56 pm
9649 Views
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Seen this somewhere in AdultFriendFinder, I'm sure some of you seen it too...
Oh c'mon dude, you can do better than that! "DROOL"???
EeeeEEEEeeeEEEeee ....
Imagine someone looking at you, thinking you are hot, then covers his mouth with his hands... rushes forward to "drool all over you"
You see this in testimonials: " i would love to drool all over you " in a number of female profiles.
Sounds like a baby looking at pacifiers...
sorry dude, but i really think you can do much better. ..
Okay.. back to work, (with the browser window minimized)
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Wanna upgrade membership, guys?
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Posted:Nov 11, 2008 11:50 pm
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2009 3:32 am
10282 Views
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I've read some blogs lately which i must say, the guys were wise..
One mentioned that he was smart enough to join as a free member for people in our island country will only post profiles and hope to find someone to get laid with and the ladies here will only create a profile to "find for commitment"
But that bro forgot to mention some of the ladies had postal code that are of eight digits, starting with 9 or 8 and those type don't need commitment but "STRICTLY NO ANAL, NO "
The other said "who are we kidding?". Seriously, how many AdultFriendFinder pals have you laid?
Yeah~! he's right!
Words of wisdom... or experience... or both...
I come to realize what they mean... but there are several factors... I will contribute my own experience... hopefully, this will be another reference for "un-handsome" "un-sexy", "un-loaded (in terms of $$)" and "Un-angmoh" guys before they would like to extend their free membership into a silver, gold or even the VIP member.
The summary of what's to come of this blog: It's not worth it, unless you have the resolution to score some pussy (or ass). Here is just like the normal dating scene... minus the real meet-up (which you have to arrange by yourself eventually even if you join AdultFriendFinder).
This is gonna be quite long... so if you have time no time to spare, just remember, trust your gut instincts about this site and move on to a real dating life...
In my point, AdultFriendFinder is generally for guys who possess the following pre-requisites:
1)attractive (note, you don't have to be handsome...just attractive enough will do, woman are realistic too)
2)sexy
3)loaded
4)Angmoh
5)guys with large cock (or Very Large)
6)fast cars.
You also must have:
7) Cooking talents (preferably desserts)
8.)Lots of Champagne
9)the chance to fly around the world often with air tickets to spare
10)mobile phone to call/sms those strange postal codes
11)Good oral sex skills
You also must not be: (Erectile Dysfunction is automatically omitted)
12)married or attached.
13)Short
14)fat
15)smelly
16) Indian/Malay/Chinese (yes, such requirements exist)
17)Old
18.)Young
19)Perverted
20)A smoker
21)Bad at English (or any language you are communicating in for all that matter)
Most importantly, you must have criteria 22 & 23: Balls & time
Just try to fit in any of the 11 categories and you will have no problems getting a (hopefully babelicious) date. (try working out to see which 11 you fit in!)
Yes, such guys exist... and hence, they don't need to blog... Some might even be able to fit in all or create some new criteria!
I'm not one of them.
I had my share of wishful thinking... and my share of disappointment, insults, non-replies and rejection.
I had enough. I now wait for my membership to end. I most probably might not renew
So, all you new NS men who booked out and have no dates, go out with your friends... and go clear your acne! Train for your IPPT!
All of you brothers, go and pump your body or find a job! Better still, stop surfing porn!
All of you middle-aged big bros, please, love your spouse more! They didn't mind about who you were ago... so stop hogging our chances! And all those who didn't have a spouse, I'm sorry for you...
Same goes to all those attached bros... please, learn my lesson. I've been bad and now I am alone.
But of course, if you just chuck your intentions to get laid/be laid/ get spanked... here is quite a good place...
There's only a real use for a silver membership... to send emails. That's the most important form of communication at AdultFriendFinder.
I was pretty desperate to contact one of the members in the site, that was why i joined as a silver member... thinking that writing emails will be all that's needed to impress... only leading to disappointment...She have never replied me.
C'mon! who really can get picked up with an email? If emails are really taken so seriously, all the Nigerians who sent out all those spam emails would have been rich!
However...
I discovered a gem... and that is GROUPS: one of them is FRENS. It's a great group. Maybe this is some way of pimping. Some might snide, but I felt that the group was fun.
There's another one, the ADULT LOUNGE HANGOUT. it's kinda funny, with a lot of the more active Singaporean AdultFriendFinder blogger in that group.
Of course, I might have joined there to find some solace or to find some interaction with my otherwise useless membership. I at least got a few emails and birthday well wishes (that sadly didn't come true... the folks at FRENS wished I had great sex... )
Remember, groups are FREE!
But it seems like that's about it...or is it?
Frankly speaking, it could be that I am disappointed with myself... and the scenario I am presented with at AdultFriendFinder. I haven't went to a group outing or had made the first move often.
Why?
I lack criteria 22 & 23 (see above) and i fail criteria 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,12,13,14,16(one-third of it),17 & 18.
(I'm not talking about all those group outings arranged by GROUPS to hangout; you only need to find the time (Criteria 23) to attend those outings)
Now...this easily explains all the NO ACTION isn't it?
So you can say this ranting is all for nothing. 
Maybe I actually can't relate to those 2 wise guys (I really mean wise), for they might have put in the time and effort... maybe they could have fit in 12 or 13 of the categories! (I presume one of the blogger I was talking about might be able to)
Oh, the negativity!! The self-degradation!!
Okay, enough of my 2 cents worth! Go ahead, smite me down with your comments!
But I do hope this will help all the non-paying MALE members here.
Okay! off to work!
(Disclaimer: All those criteria were made up... but of course, after browsing over a 100 profiles. Last but not least, this is written so I can act busy in front of my boss and for you to read, then shake your head, thinking why this guy have so much free time on his hands)
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Being alone
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Posted:Oct 8, 2008 11:43 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2024 6:25 pm
9755 Views
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It was 2 days after Pauline decided to leave me alone... I was glad.
Yesterday night i was changing my bed sheet and pillowcase, I saw a photo of My ex-WTB & I kissing...
Hahahaha~! i sure looked funny when i kiss. Like an ape with puckering lips. I chucked it back and continued to complete my arduous task.
After I'm done, I went to take a crap and a shower.
And after I'm done, i did what I always do after showering... message my ex and checking for messages. There were nothing interesting in my SMS inbox, only piling with messages like "Good Night, A****ie." in the Sent folder.
I looked at the messages in the Inbox sent by Pauline... hahaha kinda cute. I never took a good look at them when she sent it.
It then dawned on me what a heartless person i have been. Ah Lian as she might be, she was a sweet little girl deep inside. (yeah... deep inside...).
But sex with her was just about making her cum, then some piston movement, cumming onto her face/ass/in her ass/ tissue papers, then that's about that. i always avoided cuddling her....
It feels empty right after that moment i came.. . Having sex with someone whom you love and having sex with someone who loves you is totally different... Well, i never had sex with the one i love... yet... and i lost the chance.
As i turned off the lights and tried to sleep, i turned on the small lamp beside, reached out into my pillow and dug out that photo of my ex-WTB and I (looking like an ape).
It then dawned on me how lonely i am really feeling right now.
Tears welled up but i suppressed it. "Must be i need a wank!" i thought. But i just couldn't get it up. I was feeling too depressed.
First time in my life my little Lup Chiong is disobeying my orders for "Sedia" (Malay word for attention).
I sat up on my bed and reminisced about the happier times with Ame******. She's a bit "Cheeena" but she's really sweet and endearing. She too, is a geek, but unlike me, she never (i'd actually prefer to say seldom) browsed for porn or looked for cyber hanky-pankies like me.
I suddenly have the urge to call her. Somehow, i suppressed the urge and wanted to see her pictures in my phone instead..
!?!?!?
They are all gone!!
Damn! Must have been deleted by Pauline!
I really wanted to yell out how sorry i am towards my Ex. I tried to bury my head in my pillow and closed my eyes shut to get some sleep... but images of me slapping Pauline's ass appeared in my mind instead..
Beats me why... but i laughed
I tossed and turned for several hours... I tucked in to bed at 11, and as i looked at my phone, it's already 4 am..
Then my phone vibrated... Thinking it might be Pauline, i looked at it with a grimace..
But no!
It's Am*****! She sent me an SMS
She wrote: "I cant sleep. I cant help but think what are you doing right now... maybe having fun with that slut. I am worried about you, but yet i hate u for what you have done."
I pressed the dial button immediately... she hanged up. this went on for several times...
She sent another SMS
"Pls don't call me... I want you to know what it feels to need someone and yet you can't reach that person."
I was so upset...
I really felt alone.
Then here i am, writing my sorrows out during my working hours... feeling sleepy...
...sigh...
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Is it over?
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Posted:Oct 6, 2008 8:40 pm
Last Updated:Oct 7, 2008 5:41 pm
9562 Views
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Well... I finally got the courage to tell Pauline I want to break away from her. I was too selfish and all these came too sudden.
It was never a relationship to me. I told her i wanted a fuck-buddy. She said she understood what that means.
Well,.. we never really fucked a lot.
But it was clear that she wanted a boyfriend. She was always asking if i wanted to meet her friends and her cousins.
During these few days, there was more than thrice we went on a movie date. There was once we went to see 2 movies in one night! When we were going out, she always holds my hands tightly.
I also made dinner for her on the night when her parents were away.
She always sings or hymns songs when I'm not talking. She dyed her hair black and wore glasses... she had even tried to quit smoking!
I was kinda touched.
But what she is doing just makes me feels worse... she is reminding me of my previous girlfriend, who i am still missing very much.
Our outing always ends up with her in tears. Sometimes my ex-WTB will call and i will just excuse myself in front of her and answer the phone.
I feel really sorry for Pauline. But i can't change the way i feel. I try not to meet her all the time, but sometimes she will just wait for me at my void deck.
She is going all-out. Even if i'm trying to hide from her.
So yesterday night, i called her and told her we should call it quits
She yelled on the phone, abusing me with several well known hokkien expletives and i can hear a loud crashing sound before the phone call ends - she must have thrown her phone on the floor or something.
A few hours later, she called me again.
"Sorry... i am sorry!" she cried. "I am at your void deck... can you come and see me or not?"
My heart softened again. Even while i was thinking how freaky can she get, it was still very mean of me to make a girl cry... furthermore, she is young.
I approached her... a crying little Pauline walked towards me
As she was really close, i felt a sharp pain across my cheeks, with a deafening sound
Well, i got a slap
I was stunned and furious for the past 2 minutes, with my hand cupping my warm left cheek.
Then she hugged me and cry....
????
At this very moment, i can feel how hurt she felt. She cried so hard while she kept thumping my chest with her clenched fist.
"I tried very hard to make you love me, you know or not??" she said rather incomprehensibly
I just nodded.
She then pushed herself away from me.. "And then?? All you know is just fuck fuck fuck!!"
The Ah Lian in her woke up suddenly.
"I really want to chop your Lam Pa (not football player, but a Hokkien term for balls) off you know?" she growled
She then took out a cigarette, placed it in her mouth and frantically tried to light it...
I was wondering why do girls change so fast and what should i do.
I did something really silly.
I pulled out her cigarette and kissed her.
A few seconds later....
"Die la!" i thought to myself. "What am i doing??" I was repeating my mistake!
We broke away from our embrace slowly. She wiped off her tears and held my face.
"I loved you, but then we are not the fated" (sic) she said. "Anyway, i think i must be desperate la, you so ugly!! You sibei buay hiao pai, some more you nuah nuah one" (Sibei = damn, "Buay Hiao Pai" = Shameless, "Nuah Nuah" = Soft)
????!!!!????
"Maybe we can be friends la! But i will not contact you anymore. I feel so stupid. Like !!" she scoffed
She then turned away . I caught her hand and told her i will see her back. We then went up and I sneaked into my dad's room and stole the car keys to drive her home.
We never talked throughout the ride. I kept singing the songs she used to sing to me.
She finally laughed
"I hope we are still friends" I said
She nodded. "But please hor, we don't do that anymore ok?"
I nodded.
She got off the car and waved goodbye. I felt some relieve, until on my way back, she sent me a real long message.
The summary was that she is still very upset and she don't want to contact me anymore. (it's full of short forms and emoticons)
I never replied.
I suddenly felt very lost.
Why must it end this way? Should i oblige?
As much as i should thank my fortune that i get someone that seems to appreciate me so much, I just can't click with her. And it's just weird that anyone can fall in love so quickly...
But then again, is ending the affair this way right?
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Falling for someone
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Posted:Sep 25, 2008 2:41 am
Last Updated:Oct 26, 2008 3:47 pm
10101 Views
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Yeah.. i'm attached, though i'm not sexually satisfied, but i'm more than happy for what i am getting from my current girlfriend who i want to marry.
She's saving it for marriage, i don't understand it, but i am not pressuring her to give it to me
(Suddenly, "Give it 2 me", Madonna's song, keeps playing in loops in my head.. "Give it 2 me..(duhduhduhduhduhduhduhduh) yeah~~!! No one's gonna show me... HOW!!" )
Then suddenly, someone else comes into the picture... I barely knew her and i have sex with her within 2 hours of meeting her.
And we had sex, (actually, i'd prefer to use the word "FUCKed") thrice.
Maybe i'm a bastard, but i can't help but feel like running away from this nympho.
She keeps messaging me... and now my girlfriend somehow sniffs something unusual. It's my fault, obviously... and furthermore... it all started with selling an IPOD...
..nothing to do with AdultFriendFinder at all
And my wife-to-be wants to leave me alone for a while. Her idea was that if i really love her, i will wait for her. She doesn't answer her phone and her parents says she's not at home...
Actually, i will wait for her to... well... give it to me (cue that song again).. but being presented with such opportunities..(whereby someone doesn't rejects you going so close), I'd like to know which guy with a throbbing penis (lup chiong) and looking down someone's tank top wouldn't attempt what i've done. (pls read previous 2 blogs for reference)
Looks like she doesn't understand... i need sex... and i admit... i am so into the female reproductive organ that i'll jump at any opportunity just to pleasure it... without the sex.
I'm serious about that... and i think my WTB (wife to be) knows that too... i've "assaulted" her cunt without asking for anything at all.. I went into the shower and just promptly licked it ... and carried her out of the shower as her legs were wobbly..
But that was then.... so much fun, so much joy
I wonder where is she... she didn't turn up at work. I was totally lost.
Then again my "ah mei" messaged me and asked how was i after work... I told her what was going on
She told me to wait there came right over to where i was and held me in her arms and apologized profusely...
At this very moment.. i don't find myself rejecting her as i would days ago.
I just wiped the tears away from her eyes... (OMG it's so movie-esque)
I think i'm falling for her.
But why is this so?? My WTB is prettier, can cook and she's very gentle! What's so good about this... nympho Pauline??
Was it the Awesome public sex and cumming into her ass????
Was it the spontaneity? Or do i secretly like ah lians?
I have no idea... right now... i want to get out of this... and get that song and the images of what happened between her an I out of my head..
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