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Menopause..No words needed
Posted:Aug 23, 2012 10:19 pm
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2012 6:14 am
2218 Views
A little humor in that "great" stage of women's life.
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Seduced.
Posted:Aug 15, 2012 1:55 pm
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2012 6:14 am
2328 Views
2AM on a warm summer night.
Upstairs in her bedroom the window was partially open letting the soft breeze in.it was a dark night.
she was asleep,her naked silky body was lightly covered in a cotton sheet and nothing else in between.
Downstairs the front door handle was turned.
it opened..
A stranger entered her house.
He stood there for a minute,allowing his eyes adjust to the surroundings and then continued quietly up the 12 stairs.
As he stood at the bottom of her bed his hands unzipped his jeans he got out of his cloths without taking his eyes of her sleepy body.
Naked and aroused he gently begun pulling up the sheet feasting his eyes on her manicured hot red toes higher up to her pale white legs farther to her sleepy thighs and pulled the sheet a bit higher..exposing her luscious pussy.
He stood there mesmerized.
He KNEW THE RISK but was eager to taste.
Soft licks and kisses BARELY TOUCHING..
Her toes,her legs,her inner thighs,
Brushing lightly so close that he could smell her scent...
Reaching closer spreading apart those delicious lips exposing that sweet and shy clit and softly letting his tongue FEEEEL what he was aching for.
His head was buried between her steamy thighs, his warm silky tongue was making love to her playful aroused clit as she was whispering...
more...
He was in-tuned to her breathing as his tongue was exploring..seducing...making her back arch, and her pussy go DRIP...DRIP...DRIP...

I was awakened by a soft and warm tongue gently licking my clit
It was dark.
I could not SEE him
I could only FEEL him.
He was gentle yet firm
His strong hands keeping me STILL
I COULD NOT get away,
His tongue flicking...licking..tasting me while His strong hands keeping me STILL
I COULD NOT get away,
My clit...
His mouth..
as if I was his favorite flavored ice cream.

That night somewhere between the state of consciousness and dream
I was seduced..
And that night I surrendered to..
A total stranger.
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To your health.
Posted:Jul 25, 2012 10:45 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2012 1:39 pm
2751 Views
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies.
What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
1 comment
Reason, Season, or Lifetime. What a great poem by unknown.
Posted:Jul 25, 2012 5:52 pm
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2012 11:08 pm
2457 Views

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . .
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME...
Relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown.
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Have you smiled today?
Posted:Jul 21, 2012 3:17 am
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2020 5:8 am
2635 Views
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

Why is it that our can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Ya just might want to pass this along...
0 Comments
Just wondering if you agree with the late Andy Rooney (of 60 Minutes), who wrote:
Posted:Jul 19, 2012 8:59 pm
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2012 6:59 am
3060 Views
"As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all.
Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?"She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it,they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise,often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one.
You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes,we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning,smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald,paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with
some 22-year old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you:
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just
to get a little sausage!"

Gee, I don’t feel psychic. And marriage is fine, for other people.
Sex is better! But I wouldn’'t buy one entire pig,because I like a little variety in my sausage".

For the Women over Forty reading this – what do YOU think?
2 Comments
Do you understand the lingo on AdultFriendFinder
Posted:Jul 18, 2012 5:09 pm
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2012 9:48 pm
2975 Views

Here are some of my favorites;

Lets see if there is chemistry = Do I find you physically doable.

Not seeking LTR = anything after our first intimate encounter is questionable.

Friends with benefits =You are MY friend and I'll be there for you when it's convenient for ME.

Separated = Still with my wife.

I love the outdoors = I want to bang you in the woods.

Life is to short = skip the wine and dine lets fuck NOW!

I'll fuck you till you scream = Ouch! get off me that hurts!

Long lasting power = Sorry this never happen to me before, usually i can last longer.

Well endowed = In my dreams I was a 10.

Hello ladies = Any willing pussy out there?

Language.....what a powerful thing, lets keep it alive!
Feel free to add new translations at anytime.
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