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Ramblings of the depraved.....
 
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Portal to hell?
Posted:Mar 29, 2020 4:44 pm
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2020 5:40 pm
13768 Views

Or, the downstairs neighbors apartment....

One in the same.

The snow has finally melted enough that I could use the walking path behind my apartment get a walk in.

It felt amazing just get out of the apartment and stretch my legs a little.  
my way back I could see the downstairs neighbor's apartment from a distance.

It was white trash squalor.  

The blinds are literally stained yellow from the nicotine in their cigarette smoke. 

I've never seen anything like it.  

The closer I got the building, the more I noticed.

The screen their door wall now has a giant hole in it, presumably from one of the many dogs they have.  Dogs they NEVER let out of the apartment....

I avoided looking into the apartment itself as the last time I did so I caught a sight I wish to never see again...  But I did notice there was a pile of cigarette butts on the ground by the edge of their cement patio.  

On the windows and doors were window clings of snowflakes and winter themed decorations.

I've never heard one, but it made me wonder if there as a down there.
I hope to God there isn't...

I can't even imagine what it's like down in that apartment, cause after one month of having my air purifier, I've already needed to change the filter.
15 Comments
Totally Scandalous
Posted:Mar 28, 2020 7:10 am
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2020 2:25 pm
14243 Views

So, yah. I plan on breaking the social distancing rule today.

I figure, I'm out there every day at work coming into contact with God knows how many people between the new hires and the customers...

The least I should be able to do is enjoy myself on my frigging day off.

Dontcha think??

Hell, he's the one living dangerously, I might add. I'm probably way more risky considering I'm the one who's been out in the world exposed to the public at large. He'd better be coming equipped with the tools to take my temperature, a hazmat suit, and sanitizer.

That's when the fun really begins...

Hey baby.... I like it when you stroke my tarp encased penis region.

How about laying a little on the ole respirator mas

Mmmm.... That's a lovely mixture of bleach and alcohol based hand sanitizer you're wearing.

My one burning question is... Just how long does this 2 week quarantine last? I mean, it's been 2 weeks already for me since all this chaos started. Is it 2 weeks each time I'm exposed the public? I'll be forced social distance myself for the rest of my life.
32 Comments
Last night I had a dream...
Posted:Mar 27, 2020 3:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2020 5:34 pm
11270 Views
I had a dream that I was getting romantic with Nose Hairs.

Egads....

I heard him talking today about how he didn't have to worry about getting hair cuts anymore because all the 'hair cutting places' are now closed.

I'm certain that was meant for my benefit as I told him the other day he needed a hair cut, he was starting to resemble Kaitlin Jenner.

He responded with.... Ok Piglet.



Which made me realize... this guy is keeping tabs on my faceplace posts. I had posted this because it had made me laugh the moment I saw it and I knew it had to be shared.

I pictured myself more as the Pooh Bear though....
17 Comments
Fucktards and Imbeciles
Posted:Mar 26, 2020 5:12 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2020 6:43 am
11511 Views

They are a plenty these days....

As I was walking into work this morning my friend Suzy Q yelled hello to and waved from behind her counter.

Smiling and waving back, I returned her greeting and yelled "Good Morning Suzy Q!"

At that moment a rando woman who was walking ahead of me turned and gave me the hairy eyeball.

"Do I know you!"

"Um, nope."

"How do you know my name??"

"I said hello my friend Suzy Q behind the counter. Contrary popular belief, the world doesn't revolve around you."

She didn't like my response, or the fact that I said it with a smile on my face with a light, airy tone....

The population at large was kind of pissing off today.

Between the lady who came 'shopping' because she wanted to stretch her legs and we were the only place she could go legally and the new hire who completely ignored me during her onboarding, I'm feeling a little disgusted with the human race.
15 Comments
Is it just me....
Posted:Mar 26, 2020 2:23 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2020 7:23 am
10131 Views
Or does Senator Mitch McConnell appear to be a reanimated corpse??

I've seen him now on several press conferences and news briefings, and every time, I wonder to myself if he's an actual human.

Does the man have any other facial expression than Zombie??

Just another one of those things that make me go....

Hmmmmmm....



13 Comments
Lunch Time Lingerie
Posted:Mar 25, 2020 4:05 pm
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2020 2:01 pm
55414 Views

Note self: When shopping for lingerie online at lunch, do not sit with your back oncoming traffic.

Learned this lesson the hard way.

I had been toggling back and forth between 2 items when I suddenly heard, "I like the black one."

Startled, I spun around to find Pervy Coworker standing behind looking over my shoulder.

" my God, how long have you been there??"

"Long enough know I like the black one and you should get the matching panties you were just looking at."

Kill now.

Every time I see this guy, now, I'm going be wondering if he's picturing in that skimpy thing.

Ugh....
53 Comments
I read somewhere once...
Posted:Mar 24, 2020 4:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2020 4:48 pm
9371 Views

That our ears continue to grow our entire lifetime.

At the time, I scoffed it off.... This couldn't possibly be true. If it were, we would all be tripping on our earlobes and resemble something similar to the cartoon image of Dopey, the dwarf.

After seeing my last applicant of the day today, I've rescinded that thought.

I could see his ear hair entering my office long before I ever saw him.

Giant, hairy, stretched out earlobes flapping in the breeze as he gimped toward my office.....

I felt myself staring at them much like an onlooker staring at a horrific traffic accident.

Am I staring?

OMG, I'm staring!!

Can he see me staring???

Arg!! Why can't I stop staring????

It took every ounce of self control that I had to look away from the small flake of dandruff that was precariously dangling from the cluster of wiry, gray ear hair jutting out of the side of his lobe.

I only hope it didn't manage to fall off and land somewhere in my office.

Egads....

Which leads me to this thought.

Nose Hairs has a live in girlfriend and Earlobes has a wife.

Why aren't the looking out for these men???

I was always looking out for my husband when we were married... I wanted him to look his best. If he had something in his mustache, I would tell him. If he had a weird eyebrow hair, I would take care of it. Sometimes he would miss a spot or two when he was shaving, and I would help him with it....

Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing for our significant others?
20 Comments
A Funniness Void
Posted:Mar 23, 2020 3:37 pm
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2020 3:57 am
8833 Views

Today, I feel as though I've lost my humor.

Where there once resided my sarcasm and wit now rests a vacancy sign.

I'm overwhelmed at work. I'm watching a press conference about hoarding. I experienced one of my new hires tell me he received an eviction notice yesterday. I watched people panic today after Governor Whitmar put our state on lock down.

I think I'm going to need more than a snickers to get through this....
12 Comments
Sunday, Sunday.....
Posted:Mar 22, 2020 8:51 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2020 11:04 pm
8748 Views

My only day off this week and the Human Resources Manager texted at home to inquire why I didn't have any hires for Saturday....

Nice.

My anxiety has been pretty high, this adds to the list of reasons why.

The Spawn and I are hunkered down for the day, watching movies and arguing with each other about whether or not I'm fake at work.

Middle - Everyone at work thinks you are so nice. They love you.

Me - Well, I just treat people the way I want to be treated in return.

Spawn - Uh, no you don't. You're just fake.

Me - What?!?

Spawn - Of the people in the world, I'm the one who knows you best. And, I know you're fake at work.

- Maybe that's the real and I don't like having to be the mean mom who makes you use your manners and pick after yourself the time.

Spawn - I like you that way. It's more realistic.

I kind of wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

She's a stinker, but she loves her Momma. Even as I sit here typing this, I commented that my feet were cold, so she put her feet my own and wrapped her blanket around them.

I like her just the way she is, too.

Most of the time....
14 Comments
Today I am thankful.
Posted:Mar 21, 2020 11:44 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2020 3:49 pm
9949 Views

There is a lot going on in the world today.

I think we all know why....

But, today I am thankful that I was forced to work a Saturday.

Why thankful?

I'm thankful because I have a JOB that I can still continue to go to every day. I'm thankful that I'm being asked to work OT, that's extra in my pocket!! I'm thankful because the company I work for cares enough about it's employees that we are receiving hazard incentives for putting ourselves out there in the midst of the illness and chaos.

I'm thankful be healthy!

I may not be able buy toilet paper, rice, and yeast... But I'm thankful that I got to finally pick up a bag of potatoes and a loaf of bread today.

The world doesn't seem quite as terrible when you sit down and think about all the stuff you have to be thankful for.
26 Comments
What will it take for you to let me eat your pussy?
Posted:Mar 20, 2020 4:54 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2020 7:32 am
13701 Views

Um, for starters, if this is your opening line, it would take a miracle....

I'm fascinated by some of the correspondence I receive on here. I do meet men from here in person. I've been doing it for years, so it's not a matter of desperation for me. I select the one who piques my interest and fits the bill for what I'm currently looking for and go for it.

The sad thing is....

There are men out there that use these opening lines. Then they bitch because nobody will meet with them. They blame it on fake profiles, they blame it on the site, they blame it on women like me who won't just fall into bed with someone because they are "in Gaylord".

-I'm in Gaylord.

Uh, yah. So am I. Want a cookie??

-Like what you see?

90% of the messages I receive contain a dick pic. To be honest, you all look alike to me.

-I like your feet.

Great! So do I!

-Wanna fuck?

I do! Probably not you though....

-Looking for someone real who doesn't play games.

Damn... You take all the fun out of it.

I can only speak for myself, but, here's the thing.... I am worth the effort. I am smart, funny, and an experienced lover. I know what I'm doing....

I'm not going to just waste that on any old putz who just happens to be in town looking for a piece of ass.

So, to the gentleman who got pissy with me because I said no to his proposition to allow him to eat my pussy at his place of employment, quit acting like a fucktard and maybe someone might say yes.


-
36 Comments
Today
Posted:Mar 19, 2020 4:05 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2020 3:59 am
10379 Views

Today is the anniversary of something I don't want to remember....

Funny how the good things that happen, the moments that make you smile and look upon fondly are so easily forgotten.

Why is it that the unpleasant sticks with us?

Always sitting there in the back of your mind waiting for it's opportunity to reappear.

Surprise! I'm back! Did you miss me??

I was fine until I got to work this morning....

And then it happened. The music was playing loudly and I could feel the memory creeping out from where I had suppressed it. I tried to push it back but it just wasn't going to leave....

My eyes filled with tears that I couldn't hold back and found myself crying.

It was a brief moment of sadness.... Then I managed to pull myself back together, tucking this bad memory back into the banks to be forgotten once again.

If only I could just take it away....
23 Comments
The Difference Between Sons and Daughters
Posted:Mar 18, 2020 4:59 pm
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2020 3:43 pm
10574 Views

My middle has worked a couple of days now and word has gotten out....

The coworkers are realizing that he is my and they're all filling me in on how much they like him and how good of a worker he is.

I'm so proud!

He's such a good and has such a sense of responsibility. I saw him working today as I was leaving to head home and I couldn't even contain my smile.

Then there's the spawn....

With no school to occupy her time all day, I spent the day receiving random texts from her.

I can't find my chapstick.

Did you steal my chapstick?

I think I have the Choronavirus.

Can you buy me a candy bar?

Dixie opened a fortune cookie that said her new life is right in front of her.


Dixie?? Who in the hell is Dixie??? When did she get chapstick???? Does she think I'm going to bring her home a candy bar because she said she has Choronavirus?????

If she thinks I'm bringing her home a candy bar after she accused me of stealing her chapstick she's sadly mistaken.

And there you have it.... The difference between sons and daughters.
18 Comments

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