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An earwig story.  

secret_lade 47F
14043 posts
10/8/2021 11:51 pm
An earwig story.


When I got home from work today I noticed a glass had been placed on the floor, turned upside down, randomly sitting in the middle of the kitchen.

"What the hell?!?"

Alien activity?

Poltergeist??

Break-in gone weird???

I knew that the Ex Husband was going to be picking the Spawn up after school today, it was his weekend with her, so she wasn't home now, it was just me and the creepy scene.

Certain I was about to walk up on a crime scene of some kind, I slowly approached the glass and peered down into it through the bottom of the glass.

Imprisoned inside the glass was a giant fucking earwig.

"Holy shit! Oh My God!"

Apparently the Spawn had come home from school and spied this monster in the middle of the kitchen. Afraid it would fight back if she tried to kill it, she left it for me to deal with when I got home.

She's a peach, ain't she?

Not going to lie, earwigs creep the hell out of me.

Looks like I'll be living with an earwig under a glass in my kitchen for a while.....

At least until it breaks out and goes on a three room terror spree.

Wish me luck!

Happy Friday!

CL_Love 49M/48F
385 posts
10/11/2021 11:36 am

I had to look up what an earwig is, but even before I did I got a pretty good laugh picturing this scene. That spawn is a deal and a half. LOL


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/11/2021 1:07 am

    Quoting MrRareity:
    I'm sorry but I have to agree with countryqueen but I just died laughing. I love your sense of humor. I love it when I wake up get some coffee and read your blog. If I was there I would have taken care of the problem for you. I hope you had a good weekend, and week , John
I'm glad you enjoy my blog! I love to hear when I've made someone laugh, it makes my day. Thank you.


MrRareity 61M  
4512 posts
10/10/2021 5:17 pm

I'm sorry but I have to agree with countryqueen but I just died laughing. I love your sense of humor. I love it when I wake up get some coffee and read your blog. If I was there I would have taken care of the problem for you. I hope you had a good weekend, and week , John

We have two lives, and the second begins when we realise we have only one - Confucious


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/10/2021 2:33 am

    Quoting Erogedyne:
    Could be worse. I hear that in the deep south, those critters get big enough to put a saddle on them and run them in the KY Derby!
When I was in South Carolina, I saw some pretty scary looking bugs. I believe it.


Erogedyne 69M
961 posts
10/9/2021 7:25 pm

Could be worse. I hear that in the deep south, those critters get big enough to put a saddle on them and run them in the KY Derby!


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/9/2021 3:23 pm

    Quoting benard69:
    Hate Earwigs and Box Elder bugs...Nuke em all...

    Happy Weekend
Yep, all of those segmented bugs gross me the heck out.


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/9/2021 3:23 pm

I wonder if Stephen King would be interested....


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/9/2021 3:22 pm

    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    Soooo...did you scoop it up and toss it out? Smash it? (gross...) Leave it for Spawn to take care of? lol
    I've found that spraying most bugs that intrude into the house with alcohol (99 will take care of them. Some are pretty tough, but they die from it.
I ended up sliding a paper under the cup, trapping him inside, and tossing him outside. He lives to see another day! LOL


topherific 59M  
5153 posts
10/9/2021 3:21 pm

luck!


citizen4722 63M  
73580 posts
10/9/2021 1:30 pm

We get a lot of 'chiggy-wigs' over ear in the UK


boobwhisperer69 58M  
7866 posts
10/9/2021 9:49 am

Sounds like the making of a good movie!!!!


pagancountrygirl 64F
6228 posts
10/9/2021 6:58 am

Soooo...did you scoop it up and toss it out? Smash it? (gross...) Leave it for Spawn to take care of? lol
I've found that spraying most bugs that intrude into the house with alcohol (99 will take care of them. Some are pretty tough, but they die from it.

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/9/2021 5:52 am

You too!


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/9/2021 5:52 am

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    The ones we get down here are small and drag their pinchers behind them and stink when smushed. The ones I saw in Arizona were much bigger and if you touched them with a pencil the pinchers clamped down and held on. You could hear the snap of the pinchers across the room.
Were those scorpions? Yikes! I'm not a fan of scorpions either....


benard69 64M/64F  
6213 posts
10/9/2021 5:51 am

Hate Earwigs and Box Elder bugs...Nuke em all...

Happy Weekend


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/9/2021 5:48 am

    Quoting ltrskr:
    The truth about earwigs.......
    Google:
    The earwig gets its skin-crawling name from long-standing myths claiming the insect can climb inside a person's ear and either live there or feed on their brain. While any small insect is capable of climbing in your ear, this myth is unfounded. Earwigs don't feed on the human brain or lay their eggs in your ear canal.
    They r called EARwigs......lol!
    Nutn' like cuntry liveing!
    Enjoy!
I've experienced a lot in the short time I've been here. I'm actually really enjoying it, though. Earwigs, peeping deer, ruffian turkeys, and all....


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/9/2021 5:45 am

    Quoting nsnguystill:
    YUP! nothing like a day of dealing with coworkers, and costumers, then coming home to the logic of a teenager!
    i guess asking her dad to take out her new pet outside never crossed her mind

She's a stinker! I'm sure she left it so I could see it and get grossed out by it as well. LOL


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/9/2021 5:43 am

    Quoting  :

I'm hoping a hero on a white steed will come save the day too!! LOL I'm glad you enjoyed my post, I like to know I've been able to make someone laugh.


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/9/2021 5:41 am

    Quoting spunkycumfun:
    Earwigs give me the creeps as well even though don't crawl into people's ears!
I don't know if it's the fact that they have pinchers, or that their bodies look like those kids toys where you can add and subtract the beads by popping them on and off... But they just gross the hell out of me. And, they're everywhere. Kick some leaves up in your yard, earwigs. Pick up a box from the shelf in your shed, earwigs. It's like an invasion.


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/9/2021 5:37 am

    Quoting MrWrong4RghtNow:
    I have to confess I have never seen a earwig before. Should I shriek in terror or just squash it with my foot?
I recommend both, these things are ugly. They kind of look like something left over from an alien invasion.


G000dbuddy 34M  
1274 posts
10/9/2021 4:43 am

Have a great weekend

goodbuddy781


mc_justmc 61M  
6854 posts
10/9/2021 4:38 am

The ones we get down here are small and drag their pinchers behind them and stink when smushed. The ones I saw in Arizona were much bigger and if you touched them with a pencil the pinchers clamped down and held on. You could hear the snap of the pinchers across the room.


ltrskr 73M  
5068 posts
10/9/2021 4:21 am

The truth about earwigs.......
Google:
The earwig gets its skin-crawling name from long-standing myths claiming the insect can climb inside a person's ear and either live there or feed on their brain. While any small insect is capable of climbing in your ear, this myth is unfounded. Earwigs don't feed on the human brain or lay their eggs in your ear canal.
They r called EARwigs......lol!
Nutn' like cuntry liveing!
Enjoy!


nsnguystill 69M
390 posts
10/9/2021 2:57 am

YUP! nothing like a day of dealing with coworkers, and costumers, then coming home to the logic of a teenager!
i guess asking her dad to take out her new pet outside never crossed her mind


there is a world of difference between insane and stupid


spunkycumfun 61M/66F  
39485 posts
10/9/2021 1:49 am

Earwigs give me the creeps as well even though don't crawl into people's ears!


MrWrong4RghtNow 55M  
2240 posts
10/9/2021 1:26 am

I have to confess I have never seen a earwig before. Should I shriek in terror or just squash it with my foot?

My name is MrWrong and I approved this comment


secret_lade 47F
8811 posts
10/8/2021 11:52 pm

When I got home from work today I noticed a glass had been placed on the floor, turned upside down, randomly sitting in the middle of the kitchen.

"What the hell?!?"

Alien activity?

Poltergeist??

Break-in gone weird???

I knew that the Ex Husband was going to be picking the Spawn up after school today, it was his weekend with her, so she wasn't home now, it was just me and the creepy scene.

Certain I was about to walk up on a crime scene of some kind, I slowly approached the glass and peered down into it through the bottom of the glass.

Imprisoned inside the glass was a giant fucking earwig.

"Holy shit! Oh My God!"

Apparently the Spawn had come home from school and spied this monster in the middle of the kitchen. Afraid it would fight back if she tried to kill it, she left it for me to deal with when I got home.

She's a peach, ain't she?

Not going to lie, earwigs creep the hell out of me.

Looks like I'll be living with an earwig under a glass in my kitchen for a while.....

At least until it breaks out and goes on a three room terror spree.

Wish me luck!

Happy Friday!


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