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My own four experiences with holes
Posted:Oct 6, 2021 9:16 am
Last Updated:Oct 7, 2021 12:37 pm
923 Views

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.

—Portia Nelson, "Autobiography in Five Short Chapters"

My own four experiences with holes
written October 5th, 2021

1.
I walk down a road
I fall into a hole
This happens a few times
I stop walking down roads.

2.
I get tired of being stuck in one place
I decide to try again.
I walk down a road
A different road than before
I know holes can happen
I keep my eyes on my feet
Just in case.

3.
I walk down roads
I carefully keep a list
of roads with holes
It is always in my mind
Is this a safe road?
Will it be safe today?

4.
I walk down a road with a friend
I forget to check if it's a safe road
We are talking and laughing
Then I realize
This is that very first road
the one with that big hole.

Did we not notice and walk around it?
Did we float over it?
Is the hole gone?
Will it come back?

So many questions.
All I really know is
I am grateful for
the moments of not worrying about holes
while laughing with a friend.

------
My thoughts about the poem:
The outline of the original poem was in the back of my mind. All I remembered was the holes and eventually going around them. I wrote mine and then read the original. The original is pretty wonderful. I love analogies and this one just suited me for some of my experiences with ptsd triggers.
6 Comments
my body
Posted:Sep 24, 2021 2:25 pm
Last Updated:Oct 4, 2021 6:25 pm
1073 Views

my body
written September 24th, 2021

My body has been
the enemy for too long
now I want
to touch
to feel
to be friends with it.

I take off my dress
and lay back on the bed
my hands touching
my belly
my breasts
my skin.

My body is an expert
at not feeling
but today
I feel.
I tell myself
over and over
it is safe
this is safe
you are safe.

I breath and relax
pulling my knees up
letting my legs fall open
my hips relaxing into the bed
just laying
with my hands
on my breasts
feeling the air from the ceiling fan
move over my pussy
safe in my body.

My fingers slowly explore
the outer lips
the sparse hair
the fleshy lips.
My hand cups
my pussy
my lips
my clit.

I lay there
feeling my hand
on my pussy.
I say to myself
it is enough
and it is.
5 Comments
good girl - first time masturbating
Posted:Sep 24, 2021 2:20 pm
Last Updated:Oct 8, 2021 3:13 pm
1095 Views

good girl - first time masturbating
written during
September 19th, 2021

I spread my legs for them, I feel shy, not used this. They sit quietly, not moving, and say, "Good girl."

I melt and have a physical response to those words. They smile at me, and wait.

I take a deep breath and lower my hand to my pussy. My fingers touch the lips, and again, they say, "Good girl."

I start to move my fingers, over my clit and lips, feeling the softness of the skin, the texture. Feeling the fine hair. I forget to watch them, as I get lost in my own pussy, until I hear them whisper, "Good girl."

Those words make my fingers press hard against my clit and they say, "Good girl, it is enough."
5 Comments
This body which is mine
Posted:Sep 14, 2021 3:55 pm
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2021 12:00 pm
1655 Views

In the cave of the ear, the bones, like stars
at the solstice, sit upright and still,
listening in on the air as the muscle and blood
listen in on the skeleton.

—Robert Bringhurst, "The Song of Ptahhotep," Gift of Tongues

This body which is mine
written June 1st, 2021

For too long
my body has listened for
phantom danger coming my way
my body tensed waiting.

Now I am training myself
to listen to the sound
of my solid solitary bones
the soft drumming of my blood
rushing and cresting
in the shores of my body.

I listen as my muscles
stretch and contract
moving lungs and limbs
part of the symphony
coordinated by my brain.

I listen to my body
and learn to hear the beauty
the coordinated song
of muscle and blood
bones and brain
wrapped in my soft skin
the miracle of this body
which is mine.
6 Comments
floating and fleeing
Posted:Sep 11, 2021 5:45 am
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2021 12:07 pm
1617 Views

floating and fleeing
written August 13th, 2021

floating and fleeing
I spin through the air
my hair flying out
my head thrown back

spinning and teasing
my throat exposed
the graze of your teeth
catch me if you can

playing and following
far away from the world
until your hands
anchor me here and now

touching and caressing
each other.
4 Comments
Of me—Being
Posted:Sep 10, 2021 11:21 am
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2021 12:07 pm
2623 Views

Of me—Being
written August th, 2021

Usually I have
no time or place
floating in the ether
until I whisper
my name
in your ear.

For a brief moment I am
here and now
known
anchored to this
time and place
with you.

In the index of my life
this moment will be listed
as one of the rare
occurrences
of me—
Being.
7 Comments
My body mine
Posted:Sep 9, 2021 8:55 am
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2021 11:19 am
1943 Views

My body mine
written August th, 2021

I stand in the shower feeling
my hands on my body
the water on my hands
me in my body mine

my mind flies away
as it is so practiced in doing
1 time, 2 times, 26 times
I gently return

my mind back to my body
my body back to my hands
my hands back to the water
my presence back into my body

27 times and 28 times
until one day
however many times it takes
4 times or 1,238 times

I can stay here
with this body
that is
my body mine.
5 Comments
Touch me like the sun
Posted:Sep 7, 2021 7:57 am
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2021 1:03 pm
2088 Views

Only the sun will touch me.
-Amar El-Mohtar, "Zambian Honey", The Honey Month

Touch me like the sun
written August 21st, 2021

I dream of others
touching my skin
with hands gentle and hungry
with tongues wet and insistent
worshiping my breasts
reaching inside of me
until I am spread open
aching and joined with them.

Touch me
like the sun is now.
6 Comments
The world thrusts itself inside
Posted:Aug 13, 2021 6:41 am
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2021 10:16 am
2783 Views

I felt pain like an assault,
The old pain again
When the world thrusts itself inside,
when we have take in the outside

—May Sarton, "Night Watch," Collected Poems

The world thrusts itself inside
written June 26th, 2021

The world rages through me
I wrap my arms around
cradling this body amongst the
flowers torn, leaves shredded, plants uprooted

until the fury passes
peace descends on the broken
some breath and start to mend
others their decay feeds the new.

The world thrusts itself
inside each of us
tearing and stretching
throw your head back and rage

with the pain and agony
of growth made possible
by the world tearing open
body, heart, and mind.

I never grow used to this
brutal process,
I dip my fingers into
the holes made in our heart.

The world has its way with us
this relentless thrusting climax
until we spill out over everything
this our mark on the world.
5 Comments
Falling into
Posted:Aug 10, 2021 7:16 am
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2021 3:59 pm
2781 Views

Falling into
written July 7th, 2021

always a
never a
without a face
suspended in this twilight
no-where and in no-time
floating in air
my faith is
the tight grasp
keeping you from
falling into the abyss
where are crushed
like fallen fruit—
or am I keeping you
from falling into grace?
5 Comments
Deception
Posted:Aug 7, 2021 2:34 pm
Last Updated:Aug 18, 2021 8:14 am
3302 Views

Deception
written July17th, 2021

I write deception
fabricating fictions
layer after layer of
perverse prevarications
surrounding my subject
with inventions and evasions
so that the truth
can be revealed
in the serpentine curves
of these words.
6 Comments
The unknown in me
Posted:Aug 6, 2021 1:28 pm
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2021 12:58 pm
3165 Views

The unknown in me
written July 22nd, 2021

I collect words
and try to fit them
to my experiences

trying to capture
this moment right now—
it is all I have.

I—looks at the page
and writes a moment
while others peer over her shoulder

shaking their heads
curling up to sleep from the overwhelm
reaching out to change a word or phrase

we are all here
sometimes all at once
other times one at a time

I always think I know
who writes these words
this word right now

Until I look back
and don't recognize
words just written

I guess we are used to it
the wonder and startlement of
the unknown in me.
2 Comments
Koan me
Posted:Jul 24, 2021 8:05 am
Last Updated:Sep 7, 2021 4:46 pm
3747 Views

Who is writing this?

I am.
8 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
My own four experiences with holes (14)MrWrong4RghtNow
Oct 7, 2021 12:38 am
good girl - first time masturbating (6)GoldenLicker90
Oct 6, 2021 10:39 am
my body (5)midhard1
Oct 3, 2021 9:18 pm
Of me—Being (8)69ereatwetpussy
Sep 15, 2021 10:07 am
floating and fleeing (6)69ereatwetpussy
Sep 15, 2021 9:20 am
This body which is mine (7)G000dbuddy
Sep 15, 2021 7:00 am
Touch me like the sun (14)Sakwes77
Sep 11, 2021 2:39 am
My body mine (9)MrWrong4RghtNow
Sep 10, 2021 12:48 am
Poet after poet (7)MelbLife
Aug 22, 2021 7:32 am
The world thrusts itself inside (5)MrWrong4RghtNow
Aug 22, 2021 2:20 am
Deception (12)MelbLife
Aug 17, 2021 5:21 am