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Heartache and hope all in 24 hours
Posted:Jan 17, 2020 8:17 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2020 4:14 am
With the new year I have made a resolution not to bitch, moan and complain incessantly on this blog. However, shit happens and Wednesday night I was very hurt a woman that I had met in back in December, got along very well with and had said she wanted to be with me.

I will cut to the chase here.. the woman in question cancelled a get together at a local restaurant last Wednesday because of being swamped with work. We agreed to reschedule for a week later, this time a get-better-acquainted-in-bed date, and we would finalize plans over the weekend. I texted her on Sunday. No response. Tuesday, same. Wednesday, I asked at about :am if we were still on. Crickets. Finally, I texted her one more time at 5:. At 5:24 came her response, which was the same as the previous week. Honestly, I anticipated that would be her response, if any. After contemplating for a couple of hours, I texted her a carefully worded response, which in summary said "If you just don't want to see me anymore, just say so-- I am a big boy and can deal with it. On the other hand, if you are unusually busy, my apologies, and I will be patient. Just need some communication here, as opposed to ghosting." So far, no response.

Fast forward to 24 hours later. A woman from AdultFriendFinder I met briefly a year-and-a-half ago agreed to reconnect, and we met at a Target parking lot. We sat in my car for about an hour with the motor running (it was near zero outside) talking, laughing, kissing and caressing. I let her know I am more focused now than last time we met, and that I very much wanted to spend time together with her and be lovers as much as our time and circumstances allow. She said she wanted the same, and I felt the sincerity in her touch and kiss. Later when I got home, I felt a wetness in my underwear...precum had oozed from me while we were together. I let her know that, and she texted back with a smile.

Wednesday night seems like a distant memory now.
Let's Get "Physical", Or...
Posted:Jan 13, 2020 8:44 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2020 4:05 am
Otherwise name your favorite most sexually arousing song!
"Shifty" Profiles
Posted:Jan 10, 2020 7:32 am
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2020 5:47 pm
Yeah, yeah I know you had to look at that title again. Mind out of gutter please.

It is common to find men and women that travel for work and change locations on their profiles in order to hook up with someone in the particular city that they are visiting. But, have you noticed that some of non-travel profiles "shift" locations frequently? One "woman" in particular started out on Minneapolis, then "moved" to St. Louis, and is now back up north in Wisconsin, pictures showing it is the same person, albeit at different angles. I am sure that is one of many spammer strategies to bait unsuspecting AdultFriendFinder members.

One final thought ( for now) about profiles.. I can't but wonder where they get their pictures-- whether the spammers use stock photos, or steal pictures from real profiles. It is likely a combination of both.

Happy Friday everyone!
The Joy of Active Blogging
Posted:Jan 9, 2020 8:12 am
Last Updated:Jan 9, 2020 9:23 am
As much as possible, I try balance sharing frustrations, experiences and questions with something light-hearted and positive.

With said, it has been an educational and fun time as I have become an active blogger here the past two months. Not only writing own again, but also following and commenting on other blogs.

Sharing of others experiences in dating, having sex, dealing with scammers and players and fighting the powers be on this system has reminded I am not alone experiences, and provides tremendous comfort, encouragement, and hope. And I have a perpetual smile on face when I think of the wonderful women I have communicated with in blogland appreciate how I am wired and desire be with ....
Sex With a Nurse: Beyond The Porn Fantasies
Posted:Jan 7, 2020 10:48 am
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2020 7:47 am
I have often thought about what it would be like be intimate with a nurse. Many, many videos depicting nurse-patient sex acts and relationships can be found in Pornland. It seems be a perpetually trending fantasy, even though in real life, type of outward behavior is a serious breach of medical ethics. But porn videos are not what fuels intrigue of a nurse.

It takes a special kind of personality and intellect be a nurse-- one is given compassion, empathy, excellent communication skills and intuitiveness-- not mention a strong tolerance blood and gore. Those qualities , would be wonderful and fulfilling traits have in a lover.

Have you ever had a sexual relationship with a nurse?
Sex-Positive: What does it mean to you personally?
Posted:Jan 3, 2020 12:07 pm
Last Updated:Jan 4, 2020 8:13 pm
Without looking up a definition..
Sugaring: Sensualman's Take
Posted:Jan 1, 2020 6:41 am
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2020 5:08 am
Brief relationship explanation from Wikipedia:

"A is a person who receives cash, gifts or other financial and material benefits in exchange for company. It usually includes sex or intimacy. The paying partner is typically wealthier and older. A 's partner is often referred not as a trick or a john but a , while the less-common female counterpart is a "sugar mama"

Being an older guy, I occasionally encounter a woman that is looking for a sugar daddy (FYI, I have never, ever met a quot;sugar mama"). I have met women, both under deceitful circumstances, that were looking for "compensation" one way or another-- one told me at our first (and last) meeting at a coffeeshop, the other woman seduced me and tried to fulfill every desire I ever expressed. I later learned why (for a -by- description, see my blog post "One Night Stands").

If you are "Sugaring", i don't condemn you-- I get it that many younger women (and even older) have a need feel financially secure and maintain a certain lifestyle, and see a as a means an end. Conversely, a well--do older guy in that role can essentially "buy" sex with most physically desirable women available. However, no matter where I was at financially, I personally could never consent being a SD for one major reason: Trust.

I only welcome into my life those that value chemistry, compassion, caring, laughter, and open sexuality. Anything else is secondary, and perhaps irrelevant. In a SD arrangement, the man may only be of value as good long as the "gifts" that keep coming to his SB. I could never give myself to a woman in an ongoing sexual relationship that I knew or suspected deep down inside didn't necessarily like me as a person, but tolerated me inside her just to get a car, rent paid, $400 Botox injections, and would go missing if I fell short on any provision. And that's not to mention "Stuff" happens in life that may not have anything to do with sexual performance -- Recession, job loss, accident, illness, etc.

One major life change is all that is needed to make a "sugaring"relationship bittersweet.
Stood Up: Minimizing The Risk
Posted:Dec 30, 2019 11:28 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2019 3:02 pm
As I was having a conversation with a follower last week, the topic arose of being stood up, as she had seen a post I had made about the topic some years ago. Yes, in spite of best intentions, It happens to everyone. After pondering this in the days after Christmas, it I thought now would be good time to revisit the issue.

I was stood up twice recently-- the first incident I kinda suspected it would happen, so I planned on an hour of solitude and coffee at Starbucks, and that is exactly what transpired. The second time caught me off guard in a big way. I encountered a woman on another site. Over a period of two weeks she had me very worked up sexually when we set up a date. When the time came I made a half-hour drive to meet, she was a no-show. I later reestablished contact, when the woman admitted she was shy and did not meet many guys.

I am not going to attempt an exhaustive list of recommendations here, but will offer two suggestions based on both personal experience and what others have shared with me.

Vett your communications--
If you have made plans with someone, think back on your introductory emails and texts.  Ask yourself the question, did the conversation flow easy and naturally? Was the other person pushy when it came to discussion of sexual specifics? Were your exchanges more along the lines of cybering? Were they willing to speak on the phone or video chat? The latter is always a yellow flag for me if they won't talk live with you, especially if you are going to travel a distance to meet. And speaking of travel....

Be very cautious when it comes to travel:
I personally won't travel more than an hour or so away from home to meet someone new. if you do journey a distance to meet someone for the first time, have back up plan--shopping, site-seeing, etc. And as tempting as it may be, don't even think of setting a back-up date. If you have been stood up once you are there.. well, maybe.

While there is no absolute guarantee that you will not get stood up again (human nature is what it is), if you learn to recognize some of the warning signs ahead of time, you can at at least minimize the inconvenience and heartache that comes from being stood up a date.
Sex: A Universal Language?
Posted:Dec 27, 2019 6:52 am
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2019 6:12 pm
Have you ever had sex with someone that you could not converse with in the traditional way because of a language barrier?

I haven't, but the thought is very enticing.....
"Verified" Scammers
Posted:Dec 21, 2019 9:20 am
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2019 11:43 am
It never ceases amaze how scammers literally spend their entire lives (probably careers) scouring the web for pictures create fake profiles, and spend what most would consider an inordinate amount of time engaging unsuspecting (and suspecting) men and women in conversation with the intent of extracting some type of monetary gain.

A trending trick that many of those no-lifes are using now is get their profiles "verified" . Along with pictures lifted from who knows where, they include (as seen here) a photo of the person holding a sign that had been taken from another profile and obviously photo-shopped with the screen name for this profile.

With the holidays approaching, I have had a bit more time available, so I decided to along with an allegedly "local" woman that was trying lure into a scam. Here is an edited-for-clarity version of that transpired over the course of a week-and-a-half:

: Hi, ______, It's _____ - Sensualmaninmn on AdultFriendFinder.
Her: Oh hi, How is it going?
: Good... just getting some gift cards for relatives this afternoon. Your profile on AdultFriendFinder is a bit vague. May I ask what you are seeking?
Her: Oh nice nice. Can I get one? Maybe as an early Christmas gift lol.. I am seeking love and sex. And communication. Have you found anything interesting?
Me: Maybe you if you are willing meet sometime. I can travel your town 30 miles away
Her: I can travel too.
: Are you free tomorrow evening? Wanted to see if we could meet.
Her: No, sorry, I will tell you when I can
Me: I know it was short notice...Does this mean you can't really plan in advance?
Her: I can but I have priorities and responsibilities, So it will be hard to plan. Plus when I’m ready to meet you. You will have to for the Uber or Lyft.
: I understand that.. was just looking see if you were free that night. Am I correct in assuming you don't drive?
Her: Well, I have my own reasons so if you could get an uber gift card or OneVanilla gift card since I can't use your credit card. Then I will book it and come around.I did try meet someone and after using uber go around. He didn't show up.The second one too. I made him for it and later requested for a charge or something like that so I had and he also didn't show up. Both did it for no reason. Don’t worry. Uber will be better.
: Okay, how would that work? How would I get you a Uber Ride? And would I take you home afterwards? Just curious
Her: How I will go back wouldn't be a big problem. Uber back or you can take me back if you want..
Me: How much would it be? I am not that familiar with Uber, as I have my own car.
Her: About $50 will be o
: Let's talk on the phone first and get acquainted before we take that Uber step.
Her: I won’t share my number now. I’ve been spammed with calls and all that also. Why do you we have talk on phone????
: If you were a mature lady genuinely seeking get know and meet a man, you would not have a problem with that. But as I have now exposed, you are a scammer and a fake.
Her: If that’s what you thin I have nothing say about that. I’m verified for Gods sake.

**** I shut down the conversation after that last post****

What do YOU think? You may not agree with my approach, but if you have read the "Basic Communication Expectations" blog then it would make complete sense. I don't make a hobby of exposing fakes and scammers, but I have admit sometimes it's fun and gratifying do so.
The 2019 Biking Season is History..
Posted:Dec 16, 2019 3:23 pm
Last Updated:Dec 16, 2019 5:34 pm
And referring to bicycling, though I am sure most motorcyclists have their suicide machines parked for the winter too, least here in the Upper Midwest.

Even still, with snow and ice everywhere, you see brave (or foolish) souls traversing the city streets and trails on their bicycles. I understand that for some it is their only mode of transportation. For others, the thrill and freedom of bicycling can't be confined to the relatively snow-free months of the year in Minnesota, so they outfit their bikes with snow tires (fat, with deep grabber treads) and brave the elements and obstacles.

Not me. Although the cold (unless it is extreme) doesn't bother me, the fear of encountering ice and wiping out does-- A fear that intensifies as you get older-- Therefore, I am content to just let my bicycle hang in the garage, cherish the 2019 memories, and start planning trips for 2020. Want to join me?

Here are some highlights from the Spring, Summer and Fall of 2019...

I Read Profiles... Can You?
Posted:Dec 13, 2019 8:12 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2021 6:13 am
How much info can members really view on here?

Lately, I have been getting messages from  women that ask me how long I have been here and what I am looking for. How long I have been here is mostly irrelevant in an initial conversation, and what I am looking for is clearly outlined in my profile. If the sender is a "Gold" member, I have a strong suspicion that it is a , especially if they are far away, and are significantly than I desire.

Insights from the blogger community are definitely welcome!
Are you "Shy"?
Posted:Dec 8, 2019 6:51 pm
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2019 3:43 pm
I confess -- By nature, I am. However, through both education and taking the initiative put myself " there", I have overcome shyness and can easily initiate a conversation with a stranger, either in person or over the phone.

I have come believe most of us understand that communication on the internet has allowed us practically all defenses and speak our minds, fantasies and desires. Those of us on Facebook, Twitter, and other mainstream social media platforms see this on a daily basis when comes the political and social issues of our day. But for the sake of the fact we are on a hook-up site, I am going limit the focus of this post tp meeting people online.

AdultFriendFinder, et al, allows us "cut the chase" and be upfront about our desires meet people of like-mind share friendship, companionship, sexual intimacy, and perhaps more. The downside this type of this still-modern way of hooking up is that it has established what I would an "Alt-reality" where many people are living their fantasies online (often in explicit detail), but when confronted with reality would never step of their comfort zones and live them out in the real world with a real person. In many cases, both men and women are shy or otherwise socially awkward find comfort and satisfaction from living a certain scenario up to , and including, making plans with someone, and then reality hits when the sincere, willing person on the receiving end is stood up.

Are you what is considered "shy"? Don't get me wrong--I don't have anything against shy people --There are those that carry baggage from any if situations including emotional and physical abuse, and it's a long journey back to healing and trust. However, please try grasp that in the mist of your pain and awkwardness there are others with feelings and emotions on the other end of this seemingly cold technology. If you are looking for cyber and other online .. that is perfectly fine -- just state your intent . For those that are upfront about not wanting meet people in person, I want say thank you so much -- You have utmost respect!
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