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About ready to give up....  

sensualmaninmn 59M  
206 posts
6/22/2020 4:01 pm
About ready to give up....

I know.... many have said that before, but with the stress of everything going on, including, but not limited to Covid 19, I don't have the time to deal with fakes and players.

Abridged version here... I began talking to a woman where we had an almost instant connection. We spent an afternoon talking on the phone, and was completely upfront about our desires and imperfections. We talked about keeping in touch and building upon getting to know one another, and her even making plans to visit me this summer (She even liked liked my blog and wanted to know me better through that also).

We exchanged a few more texts over the next week while she traveled. Then, she fell silent. I sent several texts over a period of a week with no response. I then emailed her through the site, asking if everything was all right, or perhaps had met her soul mate, and just wanted to know. Within 24 hours she had blocked me, and can't even read her blog posts.

If I said anything wrong, I was willing to own up to it and/or explain, as words can sometimes be misinterpreted here, but to just cut me off? Sorry, that is just unacceptable, especially for a supposed mature woman.

I vett those that I have contact with here, and have and make time for the genuine friends I have made here, but for the players that tease you, block then leave you hanging? No thanks. I have exhausted almost all of the emotional energy within me.

sensualmaninmn 59M  
524 posts
6/22/2020 5:56 pm

Give up.. on this site, that is.

superbjversion2 65F
21240 posts
6/22/2020 8:17 pm

Ghosting is so rude and I don't excuse her. I can understand (a little) though that it's easier than rejecting someone openly. And the women on this site often suffer vituperative attacks when doing that - that fear could be why she blocked you.

I could be totally wrong but maybe that thought will soothe you a bit.

Sex is to Fun as Square is to Rectangle

author51 57F
104992 posts
6/22/2020 11:49 pm

Sorry to hear you may be leaving Hun.Ghosting is never fun nor should be done.Have the balls to just tell them or let them know instead of not returning messages, texts or phone calls.That is the Mature way we Adults should be handling things, not running away..Good luck to you Hun..xoxo

You can never have enough JOY in your life


jajo696 65F
2793 posts
6/23/2020 2:43 am

Ohhhhh brother. So sorry to hear this...as i know that you guys are just as vulnerable as the females. This very thing is what led me to write my first blog here. I will never understand it....i fully believe that we are not everyones cup a tea, i just cant understand why that cant be communicated. Yes...we are supposed to be mature adults...and able to converse abt these things. Even if what BJ says is true...at least communicate her thoughts to you and THEN block you...if necessary. ( sigh ).....i just dont know. Just like the converse is true....women such as that make it hard for the good ones that will come along and wont behave like that. Tsk tsk @ her. There could be a myriad of reasons...and it will drive ya crazy trying to figure them all out. Sorry guy ~~

sensualmaninmn replies on 6/23/2020 5:20 am:
Thanks. The "real" women here usually have all the men they can handle, and I understand and accept that, as frustrating as that can be. Still...

MrWrong4RghtNow 54M  
807 posts
6/23/2020 4:26 am

I feel your pain, man. I have been ghosted and shut out before and it’s never pleasant. I will also confess to ghosting someone on here and while the reasons it happened are personal in nature , I did regret that action on my part immensely. Even thought that person and I eventually did reconcile and become friends again it still bothered me so much that I swore to never do it again.
The irony is that nearly a year later I would have the ghosting done to me by someone else. I chalked it up to karma but I also knew what she was going through and was just more hurt that there was no proper goodbye. We have recently started talking again and much like the other chatter, we have become good friends again but without any romantic connection.
I have been lucky in these two instances.

I try to keep an open mind but it is difficult when the other person doesn’t talk or respond. So just try to hang in there. That’s all we can do.

My name is MrWrong and I approved this comment

Yours_4A_knight 55M
1424 posts
6/23/2020 5:35 am

I guess that that has to be really frustrating, I know how much I am struggling to seem positive whenever I am communicating with someone that I am interested in, but for me the online self introduction thing has been a dismal failure, maybe the negativity bleeds through, but Everytime I make contact with a woman I do so with the basic certainty that she, if she is even there, is not going to respond.

Not the Whole Truth but the truth that I can see.

BiggLala 48F  
29069 posts
6/23/2020 8:48 am

What do you do otherwise when things don't work out the way you want them to, whether online or offline? Whether dating/sex or anything else?

Need a way to message ALL members?...click here for helpful instructions in setting up a private messaging blog post.

lighthousecollec 58F  
1304 posts
6/23/2020 4:05 pm

I am a firm believer in it only takes a few seconds to send the a message to someone saying that they are sorry they are just not interested or whatever the reason may be . You don't deserve to be left hanging ; no one does. That says a lot about her as a person. I'm like you, I have been ghosted and everything else so now I do not even send messages to people anymore. I'm in a similar situation with someone and he's all the way in Canada.

I have set up a private mailbox on my Blog for your convenience.

Heels_N_Squeals 46F
56 posts
7/1/2020 1:26 pm

Here are my thoughts...

First, I'm sorry you've had that unfortunate experience. Seems all too common around here anymore that it's the new norm.

As for the ghosting....I feel that it's half and half. Let me explain...

1 .) The human ghosting: Some of the ghosting experiences do seem to be the human ignorance that you've described in your story above. Today's society is now experiencing an overwhelming level of ignorance and rudeness that the world has never seen before. That is something I deal with every moment I'm on here and I'm sure that most people (especially the decent women) can equally vouch for. It's perplexing how many people pay for memberships here, don't read, don't fill out their profiles, ignore what's written, blindly contact one another in irrelevance, etc... Hell, if everyone around here would simply fill out profiles, read them, comprehend them and follow through with relevant contact to one another like the old days on sites like these, then 90% of people would be successful and a hell of a lot more real women would exist here to do so. Sadly, men have successfully pushed women off site and turned us off to the scene over the years (generalizing) to the point where there's almost no real women left here....or those that do exist, mostly just come here for online-only purposes OR are extremely "clicky" or selective and generally don't give most men the time of day (for good reason).

2 .) The mysterious site watchers: Ok, so I suspect that we're all being closely monitored from a team of workers from within this site who are probably paid to sit behind a computer all day and go through and block certain members who are beginning to get close to reaching a successful meet. This is just my theory and my instincts kicking in. I know for a fact that YouTube has the same sort of thing going on and certain music bands are "blockers" when people post ANY content pertaining to those certain bands (refer to Rick Beato's rant videos on YouTube). There is no reason to think that AdultFriendFinder is any different.
* AdultFriendFinder is a business and nothing but a business. It's one and only care and concern is to generate profit. Nothing else! It doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone here or if anyone is successful or not. All it cares about is money. That's obvious when you look around you here.
* The last thing a business wants from it's paying members is for success stories (i.e. meets) to occur. This sounds contrary to the illusion the site portrays, but think about it for a second. If two paying members start talking online, then trading external contact info, then talking on the phone or elsewhere to the point of which they are considering real meets, then guess what? When two people meet up and find success, they generally have no use for this site anymore, which they'll likely close their accounts. For a business, this means loss of profit! Therefore, you'll notice a lot of times that just when you're starting to know someone a little too well that coincidentally you start to lose touch with them. Weird things begin to happen, like your messages are filtered, messages don't get sent or received by either party, contact info is blocked or sometimes you're mysteriously blocked altogether by a member whose telling you he/she is really interested in you. This isn't some coincidence at all. Someone behind the scenes must be monitoring conversations and filtering programs must also be going on behind the scenes. The very last thing this site wants is for people to be successful in meeting. Hell, the vast majority of female profiles are fake to begin with. The idea is to intentionally enslave us all here in hopes that successes will happen....all the while, emptying your wallets into this site's pockets through the illusion that women exist here in mass numbers. It's one enormous game of clever illusion and gimmicks, entirely for the sake of profit. In short, this site has next to no real women and next to no real potential anymore for any of the millions of men who flock here all seeking the same thing.

sensualmaninmn replies on 7/2/2020 8:39 am:
Thank you so much for your lengthy and detailed response. I am well aware of the rhythms of this site and well as the fakes. Like most I have learned and benefited greatly from experience. The experience described in the original blog was a bit different from past experiences in that I had actually spoken to this person, and our initial conversation was lengthy and went well, and she even posted several times on my blog. I am sure her postings are not what caused the block, as I have other "repeat visitors" that are not blocked. What I seek is very basic and should be natural. But you are so correct in saying that we are experiencing an overwhelming level of ignorance and rudeness that the world has never seen before, especially in the last 5 years. Scary in many ways.

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