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Stood Up: Minimizing The Risk  

sensualmaninmn 58M  
207 posts
12/30/2019 11:28 am
Stood Up: Minimizing The Risk

As I was having a conversation with a follower last week, the topic arose of being stood up, as she had seen a post I had made about the topic some years ago. Yes, in spite of best intentions, It happens to everyone. After pondering this in the days after Christmas, it I thought now would be good time to revisit the issue.

I was stood up twice recently-- the first incident I kinda suspected it would happen, so I planned on an hour of solitude and coffee at Starbucks, and that is exactly what transpired. The second time caught me off guard in a big way. I encountered a woman on another site. Over a period of two weeks she had me very worked up sexually when we set up a date. When the time came I made a half-hour drive to meet, she was a no-show. I later reestablished contact, when the woman admitted she was shy and did not meet many guys.

I am not going to attempt an exhaustive list of recommendations here, but will offer two suggestions based on both personal experience and what others have shared with me.

Vett your communications--
If you have made plans with someone, think back on your introductory emails and texts.  Ask yourself the question, did the conversation flow easy and naturally? Was the other person pushy when it came to discussion of sexual specifics? Were your exchanges more along the lines of cybering? Were they willing to speak on the phone or video chat? The latter is always a yellow flag for me if they won't talk live with you, especially if you are going to travel a distance to meet. And speaking of travel....

Be very cautious when it comes to travel:
I personally won't travel more than an hour or so away from home to meet someone new. if you do journey a distance to meet someone for the first time, have back up plan--shopping, site-seeing, etc. And as tempting as it may be, don't even think of setting a back-up date. If you have been stood up once you are there.. well, maybe.

While there is no absolute guarantee that you will not get stood up again (human nature is what it is), if you learn to recognize some of the warning signs ahead of time, you can at at least minimize the inconvenience and heartache that comes from being stood up a date.


sensualmaninmn 58M  
514 posts
12/30/2019 11:29 am

Now, don't stand me up please.. your thoughts and experiences.


dpguy1957 63M  
427 posts
12/30/2019 11:54 am

well stated. everyone hates being stood up, at least i think people do. i usually give people two chances, because, like you stated above, people can get wet feet. i know, it's happened to me. after two shots, it's strike three. i'm too old to play games. for the most part, i have found people on this site to be considerate. i always meet first in a public place, for all our safety, and limit the ride, like you, to an hour or so. well. back to cruising the net.


MissCinders 54F
1529 posts
12/30/2019 9:11 pm

On the flip side regarding my past meets....I wish I had been stood up.


sensualmaninmn 58M  
514 posts
12/31/2019 4:03 am

    Quoting MissCinders:
    On the flip side regarding my past meets....I wish I had been stood up.
Most of the time with getting acquainted beforehand I have been able to avoid that. A disappointing recent exception was where I met a woman that pulled the "sugar daddy" thing on me at our first meeting. Then, I wish I had been stood up, but glad I could say "thanks for coming" then excuse myself.


TicklePlease 52F  
12760 posts
12/31/2019 6:14 am

I've been stood up two or three times over the years... almost always by a smooth talking, easy going funny guy that I've spoken with over the phone and had uncomplicated conversations via email and text. With the most recent, probably 10 years ago now, there were no noticeable tells that he was going to get as far as a "getting ready to head out now, see you soon" text and then disappear from the planet.

Honestly, I think it's just entertainment for people who have a cruel streak.

I never make a first meet the reason for going out any more tho, like you said. I make my plans and offer the person who wants to meet a choice of convenient places that I'm already going to be visiting.


sensualmaninmn 58M  
514 posts
12/31/2019 7:51 am

    Quoting TicklePlease:
    I've been stood up two or three times over the years... almost always by a smooth talking, easy going funny guy that I've spoken with over the phone and had uncomplicated conversations via email and text. With the most recent, probably 10 years ago now, there were no noticeable tells that he was going to get as far as a "getting ready to head out now, see you soon" text and then disappear from the planet.

    Honestly, I think it's just entertainment for people who have a cruel streak.

    I never make a first meet the reason for going out any more tho, like you said. I make my plans and offer the person who wants to meet a choice of convenient places that I'm already going to be visiting.
Macabre entertainment, to say the least.

As I said earlier, there is no iron-clad way to completely avoid it (unless you give up meeting people, of course) but if you can detect some warning signs ahead of time, you at least lessen the chances of being stood up.


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