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The Excellent Blog of Tamaloa
 
Maybe not all that excellent, but it does amuse Yours Truly
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The joy of Tamaloa
Posted:Oct 27, 2020 5:30 am
Last Updated:Nov 14, 2020 4:30 pm
1383 Views
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2 Comments
Bad news, good news, Part II
Posted:Oct 11, 2020 2:20 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2020 7:44 am
1992 Views
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2 Comments
Learning Italian the Hard Way
Posted:Oct 11, 2020 6:44 am
Last Updated:Oct 15, 2020 10:57 am
2027 Views
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1 comment
Blog Title View
Posted:Oct 7, 2020 6:05 am
Last Updated:Oct 8, 2020 5:52 am
2249 Views

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You know, all my blog posts are most easily accessible through the title view:

://AdultFriendFinder/blog/tamaloa_aulelei/index.html?mode=title

I have no fewer than eleven blog posts in the works, in various stages of completion, and will be sending them up as they're more or less done. Most of them are VERY hotly pornographic, explicit, sensuous, orgasmic, and so forth, so they can be VERY HARD do.

So speak. Holy shit am I HORNY!

That Mr. Happy. All he wants do is get wet and do pushups in the dark until he throws up. That's just what he does.

From now on they're all going be posted as jpgs, as pictures of , so the AdultFriendFinder software won't edit out letters and words.

It's just better that way.
1 comment
Nicht zu Hause.
Posted:Oct 5, 2020 4:53 pm
Last Updated:Oct 14, 2020 5:49 pm
2309 Views

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I've allowed my AdultFriendFinder subscription lapse until we return in four or five weeks. I won't be blogging the trip. Personal, private, and no possible interest.

I'll in from time .. time but won't be possible for me .. either see or respond .. messages, although it's possible I may be able receive messages through blog comments. A least this is what I've been told.

I can apparently exchange messages with you - if you are a fan of mine or if I am a fan of yours. Otherwise nothing.

It doesn't seem to matter if you are a gold subscriber, who are supposed to have unlimited messaging capability. I've become uncertain as to what the actual rules may be for messaging with an unsubscribed member. Any clarification on this issue would be appreciated.

I still owe a post for Upnorth080 and messages Xxxcountrygirl69 and SinfulSweetie96 and peachy_baby97 and CurvyLady72 and Sexpot734 and several others. I have not forgotten. I could never forget my fans. I wish was more of myself I could give them.

At this writing I have 146 friends. I think that's a LOT of friends. I fully intend have days and nights of torrid passion with every single one of you, just as soon as your schedules open up, among other things.

You might not think I'd be able to have flaming sex with that many women, but do not underestimate my ultramega sex drive. Mr. Happy is ready to go. He can't wait, but until we get back, he's going to have to. Wait, that is. It could take a couple of months to you all silly, and would involve rather a lot of travel, but wouldn't be a challenge. Normally would take a couple of years do a dozen dozen girls so this just speeds up the process.

Down boy! Down I said! Don't worry, he won't bite. He just wants be petted. Doncha boy? Yeah, good boy. Down boy! Bad boner! Down!

Excuse me a moment. Somebody needs a time out.

Okay, now then.

My friends here have been a blessing.
You have no idea.
Stay warm for me, babes, stay safe, and remember that Tamaloa loves you.
All of you.
Dearly.
No matter what.
Really.
1 comment
Clarification.
Posted:Oct 3, 2020 5:25 am
Last Updated:Oct 3, 2020 11:37 am
2435 Views

I have noticed that in numerous online writings a situation is described as a ménage à trois when it should properly be referred as a threesome.

They're not the same thing and should not be used interchangeably.

A threesome is a sexual session involving three people. When it's two guys and a girl it is also called a gang bang. Usually a threesome refers one guy and two girls.

A ménage à trois is an arrangement in which people share a sexual relationship, typically a domestic situation involving a married couple and the lover of one of them, usually but not always the husband. The French have words for this sort of thing. That's one of the things that make them French.

One does not have be married be in a ménage à trois. For example, I am not married either Bonnie or Jill and I am not married Kim either.

I did propose Bonnie but she turned down. I got down bended knee during a garden party the patio and got out the little ebony case containing the engagement ring I had made years and years ago, the one with the 101-point flawless pale blue diamond in the platinum setting, and asked her if she would do me the honor of becoming my wife.

She just about passed out and I had catch her. Everybody applauded. I picked Bonnie and carried her away the front lawn and laid her down and sat next her and talked with her. My guests excused themselves by ones and twos and we walked back the patio and talked some more holding each other's hands.

Bonnie was crying. She said she couldn't marry me because I was too old for her and it was breaking her heart to turn me down because she wanted to say yes more than anything in the world. Her father thought she was an idiot. He told me so on the fourth tee at Forest Acres the other day when he and the wife came for a visit. He'd be dangerous if he ever learned how stop overplaying a pitching wedge.

Bonnie moved out at the beginning of the fall semester and shacked with the first guy who was nice her. Unfortunately for him I am a very tough act to follow, if not actually impossible, so she dumped him after a couple of weeks and came back. By that time Jill had already moved in and had taken over the en suite formerly occupied by Bonnie, so Bonnie took over the third bedroom formerly occupied by Kim. And then we all had a threesome in the bedroom occupied by Yours Truly.

So now we have a ménage à trois. And we've had a couple of threesomes. We had a foursome last weekend when Kim came to visit from Grand Rapids. But that was just a foursome and is not to be confused with a ménage à quatre, which would be a more permanent living arrangement which isn't likely to happen unless Kim quits her job and moves back.

I really love Kim. She muscular for a girl and plays rugby and she's really hot and she can fuck like nobody's business and always tries to have the most intense orgasms possible and lots of them. Her vehicle sports a bumper sticker that says "It is better to have played rugby and lost than to have played softball."

I don't play rugby myself. I'm more of a football and basketball kind of guy.
1 comment
Twenty-Eight
Posted:Sep 28, 2020 2:14 pm
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2020 7:26 am
2693 Views

I have made the acquaintance of a beautiful, intelligent, cultured young woman who calls herself Sislisislasila on AdultFriendFinder. According to her profile she lives in Flint, forty minutes away on an easy drive on I-69 from where I live here in Okemos.

She initially seemed quite taken with me. She sent me a message yesterday evening after I had sent her a friend request and then another message, a charming one, featuring a pretty little poem that I had hoped would catch her interest.

This morning she sent me another message. She called me handsome. Naturally I was flattered. We exchanged a number of other messages as well, and I sent her my email address and phone number.

She sent me a lovely email telling me, among other things, that she liked art museums. I replied, telling her that museums were an interest of mine as well, that I was a contributing member of the Detroit Institute of Arts, had described my visit the Louvre in Paris in my blog, and so forth.

She also likes travel, presumably overseas travel. So I also asked how she might like a romantic two-week paid vacation in Italy to hike the Cinque Terre, swim naked in the waterfall pools of Plitvice, and ride the wild horses of the Camargue. With a handsome, mysterious stranger. Meaning myself.

She said she's not working, so it's not like she doesn't have the time.

The last message from her was at 12:51 this afternoon. She was going to take a shower and have something to eat and get right back to me.

It is now 5:15 PM. I haven't heard back from her since. I don't expect to.

My guess is that she managed to hook up just like that with any of a hundred guys within ten minutes of where she lives in the Flint area and I'll never hear from her again. Happens all the time.

Sislisislasila is number twenty-eight.

I have a list if pretty women on AdultFriendFinder who have each ignored the offer, including Sislisislasila. Maybe they think it's just a bogus come-on, but I could certainly post photos of the relevant documents here that prove that the offer is perfectly genuine. I'd have to censor the documents because they contain specific personal information, but it's quite doable.

Other women have also turned me down:

- My erstwhile boarder/fwb Bonnie. She also turned down my marriage proposal after we had been fuck buddies for months.
- My erstwhile boarder/fwb Kim. She didn't give a reason.
- My most recent love interest Jill, my nurse practitioner. She hasn't given a reason either.
A couple of others. Nobody you'd know.

I postponed my trip to Italy back in the spring because of the pandemic, but since then the Italians have approved my visa. I'm still good for Bouches-du-Rhône and Croatia, but anybody I would take would have to get their visas approved as well, to each country. That could take a few days, but probably no more than that. I have the itinerary worked out in some detail: DTW to Boston Logan to Stuttgart to Milan to La Spezia to Riomaggiore. Bed-and-breakfast places in each town, plus agritourismos.

Now, you might suppose that a romantic two-week paid vacation to Italy to hike the beautiful and picturesque Cinque Terre, swim naked in the spectacular waterfall pools of Plitvice, and ride the wild horses of the Camargue, with a handsome, mysterious stranger, would appeal any number of women on AdultFriendFinder.

But you'd be almost as big an idiot as me if that is what you supposed. You're smarter than that. I'm not. I'm a fucking fool.

Now my plan is go see some people I know at Università di Bologna about getting a there to go with me. It's either that or give up and just go by myself.

I have an arrangement with a local apartment complex to use their exercise equipment, so I'm going go pump iron until my bones break or something out of sheer frustration. And then I'm going come home, have bbq ribs left over from my brother's family barbeque yesterday, and just say fuck it.

What about Sislisislasila? Never heard of her. I really have no idea who you're talking about.
2 Comments
Tamaloa's sweet barbeque sauce recipe.
Posted:Sep 27, 2020 8:57 am
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2020 2:40 pm
2689 Views

Ingredients:

1-1/4 cups ketchup
1-1/2 cups light brown , packed
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp ground mustard
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp ground sage
1 tsp salt
1 Michigan State coed, blonde, 21-40, D cup, fit, not too tight.
2 tbsp olive oil. NOT virgin. This ain't that kind of recipe.

Directions:

Combine ingredients in a saucepan. Whisk to mix thoroughly.
Peel the MSU coed in a warm bed with silk sheets and preheat 30-40 minutes with a . Cover and keep warm.
Quickly heat the sauce mixture to a boil, reduce heat, cover, and allow to barely simmer for hours.
Quickly heat the coed with kisses and licking in all the right places for ten minutes. Screw vigorously for hours in at least five positions, turning occasionally, and then fuck her good and hard until her back arches, her eyes roll, and she can barely get out a scream before passing out from rapturous ecstasy. Stir the sauce mixture occasionally.
Allow the coed cool 1 hour, cuddling affectionately.
Allow the sauce mixture cool one hour, pour into jars, seal, and chill in a refrigerator overnight.
Get the coed dressed, take her to dinner, come home, pour her a snifter or of an overpriced single-malt Scotch, light slow-burning candles, binge-watch Orphan Black, cuddle with her affectionately, carry her bed when she starts getting sleepy, tuck her in, go back downstairs, and watch one episode of Planet Earth II with David Attenborough. Do not cuddle. Blow out the candles.
Slip into bed with the coed, with her intimately if she's still awake until she falls asleep, and make love her very gently when she wakes in the morning.
Snuggle under the down comforter with the window open and spend most of the day fucking.
Don't -- with your food unless you're serious about a relationship.

It's actually a very good recipe, similar Finley's. The coed is not optional, but flannel sheets can be substituted for silk. Send a one of Attenborough's conservation charities.
3 Comments
Break time.
Posted:Sep 21, 2020 5:56 pm
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2020 7:05 am
2852 Views
I'm only taking a break because AdultFriendFinder is bringing bad memories and making me frustrated.

There are traumatic heartbreaks in my past. I've touched two of them in my blog. A third I won't even touch.

My wife had to divorce because she was too painfully jealous of . Being married a broke college student she could handle, but not the coeds around . She knew I never cheated her, ever. She moved back Roseville live with her mother.

I hitckhiked back and forth between Kalamazoo and Roseville see her the weekends until summer break. I remember standing at the interchange of I94 and I69 in the freezing rain, thinking that I would rather die than give . After the semester ended I moved back Warren, and I saw her every day that summer and we had a torrid love affair until the day she decided go through with the divorce.

I shouldn't ever think about that.

The next one was worse. I followed her across Europe, and again the other side of the planet, Samoa, her invitation. in vain. I had find out from her father that she was neurotically promiscuous. She would pick two or guys at a time from adult movie theaters as a . She cheated constantly with random lovers in gangbangs. I never knew. And it gets worse. She destroyed her own family. Some of it is in my blog.

I shouldn't ever think about that.

I know that the love of a good woman would make it go away, but I don't happen have one available. I am not weak, but I do need some time adjust.
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Drug thy memories, lest thou learn it, lest thy heart be put proof,
In the dead unhappy night, and when the rain is the roof.

Thou shalt hear the "Never, never," whisper'd by the phantom years,
And a song from out the distance in the ringing of thine ears;

And an eye shall vex thee, looking ancient kindness on thy pain.
Turn thee, turn thee on thy pillow. Get thee to thy rest again.

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1 comment
Fled is that music. Was it only a dream?
Posted:Sep 21, 2020 11:09 am
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2020 6:06 am
2693 Views
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Pictures, of places referenced in the blog post:

Manarola, Liguria, Italy.

Plitvice National Park, Croatia.

The wild white horses of the Camargue, Rhône delta, France.





1 comment
Okay, classical music joke time
Posted:Sep 20, 2020 10:49 pm
Last Updated:Oct 7, 2020 5:54 pm
2763 Views

Once upon a time the great Leonard Bernstein was conducting the New York Philharmonic and was having some difficulty with a female cellist.

She played a sequence incorrectly and it annoyed him. When she misplayed it again Bernstein addressed her saying

"Young lady, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving the most glorious pleasure to man. And you just sit there and scratch it."
1 comment
Bad news, good news.
Posted:Sep 19, 2020 9:25 am
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2020 4:40 am
3011 Views

For the last couple of I've been assigned a nurse practitioner, instead of a doctor, to do my physicals and order routine blood work and various other medical tests.

Let's call her Jill. Not her real name. Her real name is Andrea. Names ending in A always indicate a D or E cup at least. That's my theory anyway. I'm still collecting data.

Jill has a profile on AdultFriendFinder too but is usually in stealth mode. She was home looking through profiles of promising local candidates a while back and came across the profile of Yours Truly.

She liked my pictures. A LOT. She even liked my dick pic.

Kim went through a great deal of trouble getting that dick pic. She fancies herself a photographer. You have NO idea how tricky it is to keep it up when you have a hot coed telling you how to pose. The least she could have done is inspire me by taking off her clothes but this is serious stuff and she was already suffering enough temptation. She took the other pics too. In my profile pic I had to strain to hold my stomach in because I've still got some residual potbelly. I slouch quite a lot in that pic because my back muscles are weaker than my abs now. I'm going to need to focus on back exercises for a while. My abs look like hell in the other pic because I'm not holding my stomach in like I should. I'm looking buff there because that's after weeks of this bodybuilding program I've been doing, including the prescribed supplements. Abs are going to be a lot of wor -sigh-

So Jill was looking at my profile pics and thought that guy looked oddly familiar, like she had seen him somewhere before - and not on AdultFriendFinder. She was intrigued. She read my profile and was delighted. She was profoundly delighted. She was going send a message compliment me, not knowing who I was, but she couldn't decide on the right superlatives and ended up masturbating instead. So I never did get a message. Oh well.

A couple of days later I went in for my physical. She made me wait, just like a doctor would, and asked me questions and took notes and informed me that my vitamin D levels were back to normal and actually really good. So on and so forth. Commented on my recent weight gain, which I explained away by telling her about my fitness program. I opened my mouth and said AH. Checked my reflexes with a little rubber hammer. She picked up her stethoscope and told me to take off my shirt, so I did.

Her eyes widened and her pupils dilated. I notice these things. She put the stethocope on my back on one side and told me to inhale. Good. Then the other side. Inhale. Good. Now exhale. Good. Turn around. She put the stethoscope on one side of my chest and her hand on the other. Inhale. Good. She switched sides and give my pec a little squeeze. Her hand trembled a little. Inhale. Good. Exhale. Okay. So how have you been feeling lately?

I told her I was tired. Told her my trainer was a sadistic dominatrix again as usual. Long day, busy day. Need some coffee. She said there's a break room where we can get some coffee, so we went and made some fresh and sat across from each other and talked and talked and talked. Told her I was having one of my business partners and his wife and over for chili and cornbread for dinner. Oh, I like chili. Want to come over? Oh no, maybe some other time. How about Friday then? I make a perch risotto that's to die for. Really, that sounds nice. Okay, what time? Is six okay? I get off at five. She was smiling and touching my hand and not really looking at me in the eyes.

Jill says I've got it right so far but I'm going to have to finish this later. She's been reading my intro again and now she's giggling at my blog, too.
4 Comments
Dating on AdultFriendFinder
Posted:Sep 16, 2020 11:47 am
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2020 12:33 pm
2906 Views

So I sent her a friend request. She didn't accept it, but she did send a msg .

This is typical of the kind of exchanges I've been having. She starts off saying she's really no where near where she said she was, and all I can do is along just be polite:

She:
Of course i can really rock your world, but i've moved back California as i'm done working here in Westland, i fly over meet you in person when we find each other amazing

Me:
I find you amazing already. You have no idea. As for you finding me amazing, well, I guess I'm just going have keep working at it.

She:
I'm glad hear that anyway what work do you do for living and what is your bad experience with the women here the site??

:
I'm a consultant. We have an office but and my partners are mostly working from home these days. We should probably just give the office because we do videoconferencing the time. I could entertain in my home, which would be more comfortable for them anyway. We can use the dining room for meetings. I've done Christmas dinner for ten.

My experience with women on AdultFriendFinder hasn't been what I expected. I didn't think it was going be such a slog just trying get a nice girlfriend. Men outnumber women 18 one, so I can do is just get in line.

Half the women are catphishers, plus the prostitutes, plus the gays pretending be women, plus the ones who try extort if I put a face pic, plus the ones who have boyfriends or husband who are in a REALLY bad mood and send pictures of automatic weapons. Not exactly what I signed for.

Like my profile says, I'm really looking for a woman who wants keep for herself.

I want a pretty woman
Who wants fall in love
So she can fall in love
With me.

The women I've actually managed date just want a hookup and don't want get involved. One of these days I'm going find a woman who just wants a hookup and ends up changing her mind. And then I'll have a nice girlfriend.

So that's my plan. Obviously it's not working, so I could use some help. Got any ideas?

***

She hasn't responded yet. Which is probably just as well. I'm not about chase somebody I've never met thousands of miles across the country. That kind of travel doesn't make for a nice vacation.

Now if I knew she liked me and we had a pretty good history, I'd chase her around Europe and maybe even to the other side of the planet. No, really. Been there. Done that.
2 Comments

To link to this blog (tamaloa_aulelei) use [blog tamaloa_aulelei] in your messages.

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
The joy of Tamaloa (4)author51
Oct 27, 2020 12:13 pm
Bad news, good news, Part II (3)author51
Oct 16, 2020 2:23 am
Blog Title View (1)author51
Oct 7, 2020 6:28 am
Nicht zu Hause. (3)author51
Oct 5, 2020 11:46 pm
Twenty-Eight (3)author51
Sep 28, 2020 10:23 pm
Tamaloa's sweet barbeque sauce recipe. (5)author51
Sep 27, 2020 11:09 pm
Fled is that music. Was it only a dream? (2)author51
Sep 22, 2020 1:51 am
Break time. (3)author51
Sep 22, 2020 1:36 am
Okay, classical music joke time (2)author51
Sep 21, 2020 5:15 am
Bad news, good news. (9)author51
Sep 19, 2020 10:59 pm
Dating on aff (5)author51
Sep 18, 2020 11:02 am