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Was My "Curiosity" Actually Bate For My "Self", part 5
Posted:Jan 23, 2022 2:12 am
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2022 7:13 pm

Actually, if the truth be told, and it should here, my "making" dinner of just "arranging" ... checking the crust in the freezer and pulling out the sauces, cheeses, sausage, etc. for our dinner not perfect. While belatedly rummaging in the frig to "rescue" the Pinot Noir, I also discovered the mushrooms I had chopped and sauteed to to our pizza. I mean, after playing that much with whatever, how could I forget???

Also then there the movie .... the movie that I had recorded, that I said a recently discovered favorite, "My Cousin Rachel", the "52 version; first, it almost"film noir", which is almost a winner and also it takes place in the Victorian Era ... thus putting it into my "must watch in "pj's" with popcorn" pile. The upshot ... it a good thing I had seen it before and had it recorded to enjoy later, with my cause Jackie "trying to be good" so I soon realized it going to really be "pj's" and popcorn" another evening with my so I turned off "Rachel" to enjoy her alone later and we continued on our wine while I began to relate my phone adventure.

Superficially, Jackie did not have much to say about the invitation. I think I pretty much understood and it no surprise really as she already knew about the Xmas Holiday trip and I think ok with the trip but the whole "Charlie thing" a bit weird for her ... again though, not much commentary ... just sorta resigned ... I mean, and we both knew, if she still interested in me ,,, then sooner or later it would be the "meeting Charlie" thingy.

What I did accomplish though, which my second goal, to tell my GF all about the invitation to include my reservations, etc. Therefore, if I decided to go, it would be without overt deceit ... thus, the whole trip of no more interest to anyone to use against me, etc. I now had my lover's tacit understanding, if not permission, for whatever it might morph into ... and I really did not know what. But, even with whatever "negatives" I could come up with ... it still Charlie, Charlie and his wife.

As it turned out, Jackie going home to visit her folks for Thanksgiving and in an awkward position to "explain me". So that worked out o Also, although I thought I had another day or so to "decide" but the very next morning my choices were pretty much eliminated, if I wanted to also appear gracious, poised, etc. The next morning, the phone again and "Kitty" again.

This time I let it ring and she left a message, " ... how disappointed they would be if I did not come down for Thanksgiving, that they did have an alternative, that Rita, Bob's wife, taking the early morning flight the Monday after Thanksgiving and she would have a ticket for me to join her with the return open.

Also, Kitty advised that she and Charlie would not be back home till after Thanksgiving so would I call Rita to confirm my visit. And Kitty ended the message with a hope that I could resolve my issues and join them and that they had an extra bed if I desired it. "... that they had an extra bed if I desired it."(?).

And so then what were my issues ... well none anymore after the message as Jackie would be back from her folks and in her words, " ... just let me know and if so, I will just come over and stay at your place rather than returning to my condo." So, no more issues ... and maybe, " ... a bed alone if I wanted it." .....
...xox Kaycee.
Was MY "Curiosity" Actually Bait For My "Self", part 4
Posted:Jan 23, 2022 12:10 am
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2022 7:13 pm

Lately and now, having an evening of reflection is essentially what , is, the "spirit" of all those involved with my first trip to Chicago just prior to Thanksgiving ... my "secret trip" or potentially tryst ... my secret soon to be no more as there is no more need to "keep it a secret".

And so, since my Junior year in HS I have known how exciting men can be plus having a veneer of confidence to "never turn around to confirm an uncertainty as to an initial "interest", I received an invitation to visit Chicago, all expenses ... the invitation extended by someone who I had never met ... and eventually I accepted the ..."invitation". And that to be "my secret trip", the probable tryst to be just before Thanksgiving ... prior to my pending trip to Victor's with Jackie, B & R, etc. over the Xmas Holidays.

It all began that Friday, November 19th I thin and I in the middle of "arranging" dinner with Jackie at my house. I say "arranging", as all I did to check the frozen crust in the freezer, and put out the sauces, cheeses, sausage, etc. Jackie would soon be over after work and picking up her knapsack from her condo. All seemed to be ready including a movie that I had recorded earlier ... as she would be a bit late ... always. Thus, my recording would save my being a bit bitchy, or more probably only feeling a bit bitchy as she would only be a couple minutes late ... hence, no souffle, or the like, never.

So, why her backpack? she loves her "toys" and has special ones for whatever mood she or we are in ... and yes, she is making me a fan of some of them also. Well, her toy box is at her condo and her GF, me, is here ... therefore, the backpac In fact, there is the observation that she keeps all of her toys in her toy box but one, the one over here, me ... and that she "keeps" this very special toy without any objection intended by me. And no, she does not call her toy box "Pandora" ... but I do ... She does make it fun and sensual, of course, and I am presently into loving it.

Anyway, the phone rings and it is "Kitty", cheerfully announcing herself; Charlie's wife and she expresses their delight that I will be joining the rest of "the group" over the Xmas Holidays. Also, as sort of a "time to catch up" prior to that trip, she extended an invitation to join them over Thanksgiving. "No", I thought at first; what about Jackie, the weather, my dog, holiday travelling?

But also, it Charlie, it Charlie and Charlie's wife ... plus, it seemed very gracious ... sensitive and caring of her to offer their hospitality for a more intimate visit for us to "get acquainted" plus Charlie and I reminiscing ... fun. Plus, I had to admire her for extending the invitation ... thus inferring her welcome to one of Charlie's old GF's. On the other hand, why didn't Charlie call? Charlie must have had access to my number also. And, or, how did "Kitty" get my phone number?

What I told "Kitty" that I undecided for whatever reason; what I said to "Kitty" to ask her for a couple days to see if I could arrange to come, that it very gracious of them, and I would give her a call. What she said , "... Great." What I thought that the whole thing a weird; what I felt a ashamed and not at all sophisticated, poised, or confident as Charlie's wife ...that all these thoughts were perhaps sort of a "mousy", "pedestrian" compared to Charlie's wife. What I decided to talk it over with Jackie ... and we still will not miss the movie I recorded plus ... boh of us like cold pizza.
... xox Kaycee.
Myself, so very bare and in your lap ... whisper #2 "It's Kinda Complicated, Or ..."
Posted:Jan 20, 2022 10:25 pm
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2022 10:11 am

I confess I have an incorrigible, feral, craving; a hunger be possessed. I have an appetite for men for the obvious. I have a preference for older men, pretty much exclusively; they are gentleman, straight ... and these men also possess a periodic penchant , a carnal desire for somewhat intelligent, attractive, slender, women, "special women", on occasion.

These men, take my breath away ...socially stalk us, pursue us, and capture us ... figuratively, as does the cheetah, to & with the gracefully feminine and sweet, gazelle ... these men bag us to bed us ... consummating their hunt with whispered compliments and hands, followed by eyes, followed by hands ... till both they, "he", and us, "me", ... everyone wants to, and so does... get us, "me", bare ... nude ... naked and vulnerable for kisses and restraint and eyes and hands again then both or/and each of us, everyone, assisting or accommodating ... to insert or be inserted, to penetrate or be penetrated ... to inseminate ... or to be inseminated ...

And then, as afterglow wanes, we get up without modesty & talk at each other without communicating ... but honest, and go our own ways ... until next time ... he as a man ... and me ... as very "special"...
... xox Kaycee.

Was My "Curiosity" Actually Bait For My "Self", part 3
Posted:Jan 8, 2022 2:38 am
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2022 9:37 pm

Now, perhaps, to get into the spirit of all this ... my "solicited" expose of my clandestine, (perhaps budding), tryst in Chicago ... and, to perhaps, but not publicly, just admit ... to wetting my naughty thoughts ... my appetite to be sure when re-reading this, reminding me of my "self" ... if not eventually truly reaching fruition ... then before the "... and living happily ever after", I must confess, only my wishful thinking? impossible! It would not be "human nature" and ... not much to do with me though either, not my relative worth in much beyond habitual superficial observation ... and I know this, and, I love being as shallow in this respect, so, how could I not enjoy it?.

And, I do defer to my rather only slightly humble declaration above, not because of harboring much doubt as my bias, just more feeling confident than uncertain ... like wearing more than a smile, thanks to "clinging transparency" plus omissions strategically here and there and my "self" wrapped in what there of it ... " tailored to offer most everything, perhaps almost an unspoken invitation... flavored with a sorta tease towards a predisposition of a desire towards compliance, and not at the local grocery or church social, etc. No, not at all where social conventions might well allow me a sorta "debt unpaid". No, not just for a cheap titillation ... thrill and rush for my ego ... no this would be where "the hunt", the stalking and pursuit ... while still might flatter ... but also be rewarded ... you know, with access to perhaps at some comfort and privacy ... or some comfort with only those in the game or, some comfort ...

For example, attending a special private party and walking past, purposely walking past and my almost negotiating my way, and almost retaining my grace, but purposely interrupting with my body ... and picking no favorite ... precisely between two men and almost without a brushing of one male talking with another and ... my confirming my potential "availability", no, "vulnerability", with my smile and a whispered, "... excuse me", punctuated with a deferred, almost submissive, downward glance, and then ... continuing on my way ..... and, of course, confident that one, or both of them have then interrupted their probably "civilized", empty, "party conversation" "assessment" like wolves sniffing that wisp of a scent ...

And, perhaps, since a Junior in HS, I have realized the irony with it all ... I can never look back, thus confirming myself as having a doubt ... a perceived doubt rather than confidence would spoil it ... for all of us. And yes, I know this has to do not with how relatively striking we might be ... that there is a high percentage it happens most of "us" because of "us" and because of "them" ... that this trite, but subtle flirt still interrupts whatever to arouse, to some degree, the deliciously carnal thoughts ... provocations involving the thrill of the hunt ... symbolic urges toward a common goal to and for both, the hunter, and, admittedly, myself, rather, my "self" ... the prey ... and by a unanimous vote by all ... naturally their prey ... since even a bit before a Junior in HS ... but that is another story ... and not a tease as not exceptional, except to me, or whomever, I guess.
...xox Kaycee.
Was My "Curiosity" Actually Bait For My "Self", part 2
Posted:Jan 5, 2022 11:58 pm
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2022 4:53 am

And so; why "Kitty"? Well, the jury is still out on this as to the full extent of this charade; thus, so is my indictment. Presently, however, I do know it will fall within the parameters of "cute as a Kitten" plus gradually morph into a "Cat", and all the inferences to include what we shall discover, I'm afraid. I only have a couple days more visiting; I doubt if I shall leave any of my trust here with "Kitty".

As to recently, and my narration lately being somewhat disjointed ... or "back to the future", so to speak ... I left for my trip to Chicago "over the Holidays" before Thanksgiving. However, I began describing our arrival being on Xmas Eve eve. So, what I doing, etc from prior to Thanksgiving till then?

Well, my trip to Victor's not to Chicago but thru and around Chicago about an hour to Romeoville, IL. I asked, no ... I told not to discuss, blog or mention anything about that portion of the trip ... nothing. If I said anything, some "opportunities" mentioned at the onset that I might to pursue would be nullified, period.

And now, just recently, I have been advised by he, she, or "they", have rescinded the condition of silence. Moreover, I have been encouraged to "tell" as much as I to about all aspects of it ... all my feelings and reactions are welcome, both, positive and/or negative ... my only guidance to be "sincerity".

The only explanation I have received for the initial secrecy mandate and then this dramatic reversal is so insulting ... just simply a test to see if "I could be trusted to keep a secret"! There were some controversial areas, but nothing that could not be justified and then there their threat to take it all away. If nothing else, why would I say anything at all until I made up my mind?

So now is my first comment, reaction, feeling about their explanation to me ... and remember all(?) have endorsed and welcome my candor ... the explanation for this silence thingy offered to me is simply "BS". I do understand that some of my first visit period, like "elements of DID" I have known since 7th grade ... but they called it "MPD" back then and advised that I predisposed towards some behavior manifested by desires & needs not usually associated with my proposed Gender Identity ... so no surprise! ... or perhaps only my surprise that methods involving diagnosis has not changed that much.

So, from now on, let's call everything for what it is, or, complete disclosure on your part also ... that all can see everything ... what do you have to lose? ... I have nothing to lose; read my blog; it has given me the gift to not be negative or embarrassed, etc ... to be honest and open about myself and others have raised their hands now and then also ...

I think knowing ourselves and more than just "accepting" ... but rather liking ... celebrating ourselves for who and what we are ... when we learn we can find and give pleasure thru self-actualization of our self instead of living a pseudo superficial life dictated by the bias and prejudices of social ignorance.

This is getting to long now but yes, in the next part I will tell about that part of my trip and my reasons for my answers. No, it is not particularly sensually salacious stuff, etc. but more like being honest with it all together and my decisions as if it wasn't "me", it wouldn't work anyway. And again, then in 20 years or so ... I will know the answers to "what in the hell I thinking to do whatever". lol.
...xox Kaycee.
Was My "Curiosity" Actually Bait, For My "Self", part 1
Posted:Jan 2, 2022 11:53 pm
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2022 7:13 pm

As to specifically ... our actual trip to Chicago over the Holidays ... actually, as it turns out, Victor does not live in Chicago but "Romeoville", no kidding, and "Romeoville", IL used to be just "Romeo", lol lol. Victor's house in a gated community ... I think perhaps '90's styles and collectively kinda a development style layout with curved streets lined with trees, all about the same age, type and spacing between them. The houses however were vastly different in design so the look seemed to indicate relative "upper class".

Victor's, aka "The Professor's", house especially distinctive ... a "manor" to which he "lord" of his "English Tudor Redoubt" ... a curved drive flanked by tall hedges, (sorta like B & R's) but smaller ... so not an "estate" and "hidden" ... not a "welcome" on the property. I have to say my initial critique here sounds so bitchy ... as to the size, well with Jimmy, Victor's Chauffeur, probably sleeping in a room above the garage, there just Victor, and his house certainly big enough for that. Also, that only my reaction initially only from the outside, I had not even been through the threshold yet. And, all this so far is just my impression, an Elementary School Teacher who ... pretty much tripped and fell into a fun job, that a bit above average, offered a life devoid of bratty 7th Graders, etc. and eventually, circumstances to sort of retire early.

Also, as I said, the area nice; gated, landscaped, quiet ... and his house looked well built and maintained ... just neither warm nor welcoming , but moreover cold, expensive, and foreboding... and, I still wasn't yet into it., And as for Victor, as much I had seen of him so far ... he was well
dressed, well spoken, excellent manners, possibly well read ... but also pretentious, bombastic, pompous ... maybe even a , (for at least his driver, Jimmy).

And experiencing all this ... knowing all this ... here I am "exploiting" his "hospitality" over the Holidays ... I mean everyone else is here, or going to be ... and enjoy whatever ... Why? why was I toying, dallying, flirting with all of this? I could get a bus back home, I know cause I thought about not riding down with B & R ... they seem too close to the proverbial" fire" that might burn me. But then, there was Charlie ... Charlie and his wife ... "Kitty".
...xox Kaycee.
Myself, so very bare and in your lap ... '22 whisper #1 ...
Posted:Jan 1, 2022 6:07 pm
Last Updated:Jan 13, 2022 1:14 am

"Sometimes it takes only a little ... say so much."

I have thought about this often ... and yes, thought about it many more times than it has occurred ... for me, it is always the same and so vivid ... and it began, my first "episode" my Junior year in HS ...

I am nude and almost alone ... I am willingly completely naked; I am willingly completely naked with, and for ... a man who is watching me ...

He then tells me put on one specific item ... my doing so sorta takes my breath away ... makes me feel so much even more vulnerable ... both my soul and body ... so much more "bare"...naked & naughty ... deliciously naked & naughty ...

Obviously, it has not happened often ... but when it has, it has been the same circumstance and affecting me that same way ... so profound ... almost a spell ...

I think about it often ... and it pretty much says lots ..... about me ...

If anyone has had a similar experience that affects them that way ... then perhaps they know what that item must be ...

For me ... ever since I was a Junior in HS: and under similar circumstances, that item has been ...is now ... and will be ,,, Heels ... a pair of High Heels.

Happy New Year!!!
...xox Kaycee.
Feelings ... emotions anxiety and why ... how much have I changed? Charlie changed?
Posted:Dec 31, 2021 6:32 pm
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2021 10:10 pm

Yes, I do have some time now and upon reviewing my last postings, both parts 1 & 2 to see where I left off ... something I did not realize ... that prior to Charlie, or rather Charlie & Charlie's Wife arrived ... I perhaps almost more obsessed with insecurities as to our finally seeing each other than Jackie . I jumped from the situation before our trip even started to bits and pieces of my preferences and why, Jackie and our relationship and a couple of scenes staring Charlie and then, somehow it time for dinner after we arrived. To "get myself out of this ditch", I have to put all this in reverse for a bit and then forward, again. lol.

And BTW, now you know what or who "Minnie" is ... and so, what is her "fault"? Well, Minnie, or her minimal contribution to my "masculine" image ... but rather endorses my slight build ... relatively firm ... but, certainly not "muscular" not alluding to being "macho". But for me is that a "flaw"? ... not according to me ... hey, "... candles, bubble bathes, lotions, and fragrances, etc";... I prefer to shave my legs, etc. ... You know, "... somewhat attractive; slender, and prefer to be smooth and soft ... for both, myself ... and, at times, also for another ... for the obvious ...

Anyway, enough of my narcissistic pampering & preening ... I'm starting to annoy even myself ... so, where were and where did we end up with that last posting? Well, I have to remember that I my narration on my last posting yesterday, the 30th ... that we arrived and an embellishment as to our feelings upon arrival at our destination a week previously, on the 23rd. This also included some commentary specific to some bits of relationships generally and ending with ... having to end the blog entry, (yesterday), and where Jackie, (also yesterday))...

Ok, if you read all this, plus the last couple of entries slowly, and use your yellow outliner, perhaps it will make more sense ... I know it did for me, lol. But, no, I'm not going to trash the postings cause I think that our feelings and why is what I trying to communicate to remember, at least when I read all this again ... not necessarily the day whatever occurred, etc.No "pop quiz" or "final" on all this!!!

For example, before bed, I had to look back in my own postings to remember Charlie's wife's name ... and no, of course it is not her real name ... but what I will call her as well, my "personal" postings are certainly ... "public". To my knowledge, I only use real names when whomever has a preference to do so ... to take "credit" for whatever? ... probably stick with their portfolio ... which I used to do occasionally ... when I used to have a "portfolio".

Both "Minnie" and I do apologize for the disorganization of these last couple of postings for anyone else. Again, guess I am not as poised as I thought ... it is the situation down here and all the unknowns presently I thin Will post soon, depending upon who is doing what, etc. And I can start with explaining where Jackie ... and why.

To anyone who is reading all this ...thx for your patience, you silly person ... lol. Oh, and as to Charlie's Wife's Name ... no, last week, I did not even go to back for her "assigned alias" ... and I am going to wait until tomorrow, as even though yes, at this writing I have met her, but am still thinking, the jury is still out and I will tell all next posting and why ... let my impressions/feelings/herself will dictate my "label" for her. That will be fun and ... I will remember it easier, Right? ... whether I to or not, Right?

This is one of those postings that I will read in the morning and be so happy if it all makes sense and well, if I forgot the second comma in a sentence etc somewhere ... I'll just it in my next posting. lol
,,,xox Kaycee.
It's Really Minnie's Fault, (a story by herself, but not here), part 2 of 2.
Posted:Dec 29, 2021 11:49 pm
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2021 6:32 pm

Ok, so aside from "dinner", why the "intermission, Right? Well, the main reason that there personal stuff that Jackie might me to omit ... not sex stuff, just personal. So I wanted her to feel right about it or not, and she ok to post it, that it had merit to be said, even for us. Secondly, there seemed to be lots of words to "just say it". On the other hand, I have mentioned parts of the concept, from my perspective, before and for this situation, our relationship, Charlie and Charlie and my relationship and Jackie meeting Charlie ... it seemed relevant. And to "just say it" sorta forced me to comment on not only my perspective, but Jackie's also

... and then ... and now, how we each finally reached an agreement as to a general description for our relationship and also why we wanted, needed ... what we understood and condone ... masculine interest, and attention ... to be figuratively swept off our feet and carried kicking and squirming to his cave and summarily stripped, spread, held down, entered and inseminated ... and then released to rejoin the herd only to be stalked, pursued, captured and ... again. Or, something similar, but not much more civilized, or what would be the point, Right?

All of the above we finally talked out late that night we arrived and no, not a "steamy" discussion at all ... but pretty much a serious discussion that seemed to include a basic honesty between us ... and a workable solution between us ... and for each other ... and to the point that we sorta broached the possibility of sharing a man, or even double dating. Charlie and I did, lots, And Minnie Mouse not a concern to any of my dates ,,, as of course, we were with men ... men wanting girls "with something special" the common philosophy besides " ... not being understood" of course, expressed to explain whatever ... which their business ... and probably true also ... or Charlie and I would have had more time for each other ... and even maybe some time for each other about every other weekend ... but that is another story and perhaps not a topic to be discussed at the dinner table for the next few days ...

... and how about Charlie's wife? ... it is going to be an interesting Holiday Season indeed ... and I found out some stuff the next day, Xmas Eve ... and some of it, I'm still thinking about before posting here, "For Anyone & For Eternity"... But so very soon, I thought then, so much seems to be known about each of us by most of us ... probably much of all of it will be known by all of us by "the end of this year, '21. And with all Charlie knows about me ... he has not even heard of Minnie ... and she is definitely part of the essence of me. lol.

Too funny ... with all the personal stuff that Charlie knows about ... he has never met Minnie as "Minnie Mouse", or my relatively petite ... well what Jackie named when slipping down my panties for the first time ... I mean, once again, "... slipping down my panties". At the time of course, she already knew that I liked older men preferred shaving, my legs, etc, the magic of some makeup, cute outfits, etc ... my panties were just my item to slide down and off after pulling my jeans down to ... well, find and fondle my "penis" ... stickpussy, clit ... who, that day, according to Jackie would be known as "Minnie Mouse" lol ... all 2" my "stick pussy" sleeping in her soft, downy triangular nest ... the sum total of which Charlie and I decided we each had, considering everything ... instead of being Gay ... or so, among some additional other things, and Jackie, attention ... Charlie and I were Lesbians also ... and yes we could "scissors" which some men don't even know about and practically all men care less about ... except to watch it. Annnnnnnnd all of which you said ... and as you said you were/are ... and I know you like also... and it has nothing to do with men... who would have thought?

I may have some more time and all of New Years Eve, as it turns out, to commentary or post about our trip, etc. ... or ... wash my hair and or clothes ... no dates, party or ... hang over. We will see. And I know ... always better to include whatever within a missive of sorts, and both triumphs and failures also as the latter will only lend credence to those awesome experiences do sometimes occur if one remains true to one's "self" and puts themselves out there to risk to achieve. I know ... that sounds so corny, but I am too tired to put it another way and I believe it is true. So I am going to "lick the stamp" and mail this posting and ... put this laptop on the floor and go to sleep. And, I'll tell you where Jackie is tomorrow or so ...
...xox Kaycee.
It's Really Minnie's Fault, (a story by herself, but not here), part 1 of 2
Posted:Dec 29, 2021 9:44 pm
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2021 9:53 pm

Yes, and upon reflection, I was surprised but, we did make it down here without any major drama, etc. I mean, Bob anticipated about 6 1/2 hours and, with the current weather conditions, it was more like 8 1/2 hours! But, besides just the long trip ... it was Bob and his wife Rita in the front seat plus Jackie, my Girlfriend and I in the backseat ... so why any potential for drama ... Well could reach back in my blog entries, but suffice to say that each of us had some form of intimate contact with most of us. I had most of all of my day before to plan & pack and not the time to forget my earbuds, which didn't work anymore ... but, in a very practical way ... still did, and, always will, if one remembers to take them, Right?

Also, even the prelude to our journey could have been the harbinger of misery on wheels for over half a dozen hours and then ... arriving with all smiles ... and thoughts ... well, to the contrary. That is not to say there was no tension though. I don't know about the front seat, but in the back seat ... admittedly, there were some concerns. First, about 1/2 hour that B & R were due to pick Jackie and I, Rita called and said they would be about an hour late, but that did not really piss me off ... Bob was always late and I told her I understood and we both laughed about it and ... they arrived about 1 1/2 hours later ... but we still had another laugh between R and I. No, it was something else.

Jackie had arrived early and I could tell ... some anxiety; in a couple of paragraphs, she admitted it was Charlie; meeting my college roommate/lover/Girlfriend. I understood and I realized that she was not being silly and it was because of me, not Jackie, that there was this tension. I mean that Jackie is a "Cis" ... and Charlie is "Trans" so potentially, Charlie could satisfy me sexually much more "naturally" than she can ... or ever could "that way" cause all she had would be a "strap on". I had to remind her (?) ... that I was and always have been, impotent concerning "classically" physically consummating a sexual relationship by insemination of either a female, Cis or Trans ... That if anything, I was therefore less classically versatile than Jackie was.

Jackie maintained that was not relevant as she had always "liked" Cis girls/women and what we did was pretty much the same thing, And that brought us to the same decision we came to with several other discussions that we had ... if anything, our relationship was a Lesbian relationship. That lead me to the several discussions that Charlie and I had rehashed from several angles ... when Freshmen in school, we became roommates & lovers assuming we were Gay and graduated as Seniors knowing we were "Girlfriends" ... and what else could I say, or had said several times previously ... and then ... B & R "arrived"!

And now it is time for dinner, I want to consider this so far and send latter, probably, or not? (cont'd on part 2)?
...xox Kaycee.
You Know, When Really Thinking About It .....
Posted:Dec 22, 2021 2:45 pm
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2021 12:03 pm

Taking a break from cleaning, washing clothes, packing list and packing for tomorrow's trip to Chicago and ... what is for dinner ... lol.

Below, in no particular order, is a copy of my Xmas list ... to Rita & Bob, Victor, and, Jackie, of course:

- Knee High or Over Knee socks ... assorted colors and patterns.

- Wrist Bracelet, (matching my ankle bracelet).

- Masks, for anyone and/or everyone, but . Fun or Scary masks ... as either is both to . All to emphasize our fetishes or ... my exhibitionistic tendencies exploiting perhaps some of the voyeurism in others, lol.

- Wrist & Ankle Restraint Cuffs ... padded with "D" rings, swivels and velcro instead of buckle fasteners.

- Special PJ's, (yup, something besides my pastel t-shirts and just a smile) ... Cami & Shorts, (very short), or g-string or panties, (high cut or side slits). black or lilac. Cami size large & panties size 6 or ... ask the clerk. lol.

- Special Bra, 40 A+, (so any bra is special, lol) ... so 40 B w/padding or push-up. beige or flesh color ... not white and already black and ... really do not need anything ... lol.

- Jeans ... low rise, skinny jeans, button & zipper, stretchy so not baggy, 32 waist if will shrink, length not important as I prefer to cut and fringe them ... too short, of course, lol. white or medium blue.

Yes, I know ... usually, "short" can be either too short when with some ... however ... in my opinion ... never too short when the right time and place is to get the attention of that person ... not a promise to him of course, but at least a flirt, perhaps even an invitation for more than just his brief visual inspection, assessment, evaluation ..... you know, "The Look", lol. Nope, at that point I'm not looking for a compliment but rather let him think, "... nice, but perhaps a bit risque ... suggestive ?" ... And of course he would be correct ... and he might have even a bit more confidence in pursuing for a happy ending that evening ... or realize later if he didn't, he probably could have and next time ... he would ... and he probably would ... lol.

- Books, (Amazon) ... "NUDE Aeris - Sweater Puppies": Glamour Nude Photography, and/or "Model Connections": How to Recruit Nude Models, Direct Photo Shoots, Build Working Relationships. The former is "from a Photographer's perspective and the latter is rather bold but perhaps giving me an idea of what is expected to assist with the mutual goal of great results.

- Skirts ... Skaters Skirt, Black Pleated, minimum wrinkles, and/or School Uniform Skirt, Micro- Mini, Red Tartan Plaid, (I white top and knee socks and red tie plus saddle shoes ... to complete the, no, "the" but OUR fantasy ... OUR desire ... thus ... pleasure) ... lol,

And with that last thought or afterthought correct from the to "our" fantasy ... or a very cool segue into my point of most of all this or all the way back to "the Title" or my epiphany ...

In the spirit of this Holiday Spirit of giving and receiving ... most of the "Wishes" on my Santa List from me, to whomever ... that they might choose to give to me would selectively be for me to also give or please he or she ... ultimately Giving & Receiving to, and for each ... for both of us ..... lol.

Merry Xmas!
... xox Kaycee.
Too Much Fun Forever ..... But ...
Posted:Dec 19, 2021 4:19 pm
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2022 7:13 pm

Oh yes, so very much longer down in Chicago! But with certain people, at the right times and places ... Magic! I have had so much fun!!! Later ... but before I forget ... or start embellishing ... if that were possible??! ... well, to be honest, yes, I suppose so ... lol. But Amazing!

Came back for a few days ... to let Jackie know just how much she has missed me, of course ... and Jackie, when you read this, as I said last evening ... me too ... right Rita? And Rita, thanks for the pj selection/suggestion and yes, you were right ... as you know, as you can 'bare witness' to ... as we all know, but I needed and have now "publicly" acknowledged ... and is now bad manners to not explain ... but I will later ... and yes, give you my answer "next year" also. Enough!

They, the girls, say I have changed ... interesting. But then, ... for better or worse, or what? lol. And Jackie says, "... the jury is still out on that ..... she did/does miss me ... and in her words, " does love me ... but is not IN love with me"; and that is probably both good and bad which ever way ... right??

Bob is going to drive "his girls", (his words) ... all three of us, back down down to Chicago this Thursday and "we" plan to be back a couple days after "New Years". On the trip down I plan to park myself in the back seat for those 5 plus hours and make up and post my fun list for Santa and maybe something on the way back ... fun.

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year !!!!
...xox Kaycee.
Myself, so very bare and in your lap ... whisper # 21, "Now Picture This ..."
Posted:Aug 16, 2021 2:03 am
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2021 6:08 pm

Myself...rather tall and slender ... attractive, small breasts, long legs, etc ... if you like the type, and now, again sitting back down on the forward edge of your proverbial casting couch, after total collaboration during the shoot so far ... assuming your suggested poses to subtly introduce and highlight what potential delights you, and potentially other Men would/will enjoy being displayed as your directions systematically disrobed me ... unwrapping your promised prize, unveiling all my potential delights ... your "subject"; now perched on edge of the couch, now stripped, posed, and just now ... photographed ... prepared for what we all know, what anyone enjoying the preceding photos will know ... myself, and as I wanted ... now systematically denuded and posed to be displayed beyond a doubt ... passing beyond, "the point of no return", photographically compromising much of any reasonable resistance without breaking the implied expected traditional promise, to willingly pay the price for the intrinsic excitement ... "the thrill of the tease", ... now alone and bare, a little excited and a little nervous ... perfect! ..... for both of us ...
... xox Kaycee.

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