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After My Time For Adjustment.  

tomboytgirl68 53T  
22 posts
6/24/2021 6:29 pm
After My Time For Adjustment.

Now, upon reflection, yes, obviously I did arrive home, or, perhaps more accurately, was delivered back here after sitting alone in the back seat with little conversation and certainly no hugs or kisses upon arrival after my "Saturday Night ... Fever". And the upshot is that I was returned without any "bruises" or "blemishes", plus arguably "earned" titles, now "Blacked" and "Honorary Snow Bunny". Plus, I think that my boundaries were stretched a little for good or bad or whatever but I now realize, without judgment, my "self" a little more. And, in addition the latter, I can sort of recognize a pattern, the way back 5th grade ... exactly 5th grade, when I first experienced my capacity and relished my power, leverage, influence magic in pleasing an adult . And finally, just because I want believe something, sometimes that is not enough.

After getting another cup of coffee and reviewing , are some observations/conclusions that specifically deserve commentary.

Bob and Vic, both seemingly, allegedly, perhaps superficially accomplished gentlemen, both into general Controlling and both embracing Voyeurism ... and I was so attracted to each of them. Also, Bob and Vic were/are each affiliated their respective groups, or small, closed societies that involved sex; Bob with his "Swinger" group and Victor with his, well ... "Stable".

Also, and as a sidebar, considering the groups, yes and no did I have an opportunity join each group. I was never really offered memberships but rather "associate" memberships in both cases. For Bob's group I had a chance become "Greeter" for each of their parties and for Vic's "Stable" my understanding was be sort of a at large and "no charge" but associated with and as a sampling of, his "Stable" ... but on a salary, (no money but just pleasure?! and flattery as being chosen represent his stable? lol), for my time involved, show his proposed what they could have while vacationing up here, lol. And my "lol" is cuz I just thought about a "tradition" that we have up here each Fall that is analogous this latter situation proposed me by Victor.

Each Fall, around hunting season, we have a slight influx of population due to the "hunters" from the various large metro areas south migrate up here to "get their deer". Some of them return with no deer, some go back with a deer and some do not hunt at all. They our casinos,<b> bars </font></b>and women. And then, if they feel their "luck has run out" with saying "no luck" again back home, they purchase a deer here that has been poached locally ahead of time for the "parties." However in Vic's version, they would always "get their dear" here anyway but not the four legged one with antlers but his horny would hypothetically bag the two legged one without wasting a shot! lol.

And speaking about "being bagged" ... that was me for a while with, and each of them ... Bob was "" and later Victor was "Daddie" to and for .... and I say, "for " also as I feel my "feminine" side begin to bloom generally when letting myself go within an intimate and/or personal situation with men and take pride in not getting affectedly "effeminate" because I just hate to see that in other tgirls ... it just looks so phony and self-serving and "girly dramatic" ... and with me, not controlling that is when I start becoming a bit much self-involved ... that's true ... but both Bob and Victor made feel like that ... to let go and indulge my feminine side ... from a cat to a kitten or from a fox to a bunny. Both of them liked that in me and encouraged it and so playing with it, expressing that side of made feel sexy for them and then became a turn for also. Frankly, it is sorta hard express or describe even now and even personally within my blog. It almost sounds silly, false and almost too personal ... even now, and I've been . They just both seemed find the right buttons to push and made real and me feel free, for me ... and for themselves. I don't know if was mostly what I have mentioned above or with other things that I was and still am not really aware of, but they made me feel vulnerable yet safe and sexy ... appealing ... as I was, am, with no self imposed limits ... just me. And I will miss that ... even though I hope I do not as I don't think most men understand that. And it is kinda weird that both Bob and Vic did that me and both knew each other ...were friends ... anyway ...

And anyway, specifically, as "being controlled", "sorta submissive" plus feeling teased and tempted by those groups, I was a little surprised as again, I don't think of being "controlled" and "submissive" as being very positive, but is a matter of degrees or perhaps is more "surrendering"? I don't know ... but sounds better for some reason, lol. As flirting with just eventual membership/association with the groups and my attitude of just not quite being able say "no" ... "The Moth & The Flame" thingy? ... well, I'm safe from Bob's as I have no partner but I am admittedly a little flattered by both/either. Bob must think I am poised enough, etc. be his "Greeter" and as Victor's proposition ... I know I can be attractive ... if one likes the type ... but I am not simply universally beautiful and I think that is what he really should have ... even if they would be offered "Pro Bono" for his . lol.

The last item that sorta bothered and still does ... Both Bob and Victor have know and have some connection to Charlie, my college roommate and companion/roommate for about a year after graduation. Plus, Charlie knows I am here, why doesn't he drive half a dozen hours up here see ... we were really close ... Girlfriend Girlfriend close. Bob and Rita should know ... perhaps Rita or thru Jackie Rita find out something.

But, enough of this conjecture for now. And "Jackie" reminds me about a lot and most recently, my B'day date. More later, but unlike that "Saturday Night ... Fever", my B'day Saturday Night date was ... Super!!! More later.
... xox Kaycee.

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