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a word from a friend  

twink4topwoman 37M
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1/6/2016 8:36 am
a word from a friend

I'm a fan of strap-on sex (also referred to as ‘pegging’) and my interest in this subject often leads to some interesting conversations with others. During those discussions, I began to notice a common theme to the questions I was being asked.
“Why do women enjoy pegging?”
“Why would a woman want to use a strap-on?”
And my personal favourite; “Well, what’s in it for you?”
While these questions are somewhat different, they are all essentially asking the same question; what does the female feel, think and experience when she puts on a strap-on and pegs her partner? It’s an interesting question and one I endeavour to answer here. Before I begin, do bear in mind that strap-on sex can be enjoyed by any couple, of any gender and sexual orientation, but the following information relates to my own experiences as a female who has strap-on sex with males.
Psychological factors (fantasy and emotions) have a huge influence on our sexual arousal and I think this aspect is overlooked when I get asked why I enjoy<b> pegging </font></b>my partner. I see the strap-on as a tool that assists me in making my fantasies become reality. For example, with a strap-on attached and a dildo in place, I get to indulge in unique power dynamics and even some gender switching role play. This does not necessarily mean that my partner or I pretend to be the opposite sex, but when I feel the dildo slapping against my thighs, or brushing over my stomach, it becomes a constant, physical reminder of my new ability to give, to be the one to penetrate him. This is not something I can do naturally because I lack the necessary equipment. Of course, I have fingers and sex toys, but being able to glance down between my legs, to see this phallic object jutting out suggestively and being able to grab it, stroke it and thrust with it from the hips, as though it were a real part of me, amplifies my arousal tenfold.
There is something deliciously naughty about this gender role reversal. I guess it compares to the excitement you feel when you or your partner dresses up in sexy outfits or lingerie. Role playing is an extremely common fantasy and whether you prefer a naughty nurse or a sexy fireman, the aim is usually the same; to turn your own fantasies into something much realer. Much like these costumes and outfits, the strap-on harness allows me to slip into a new role and mentally ‘become’ somebody else for a short period. It gives me the confidence to experiment with my fantasies surrounding role reversals, dominance and control. The more I played with my strap-on, the more I realised how much I relished being in that position. I loved this side of me and I learned more about my own desires as I explored my boundaries and played with taboos in my mind.
There can be misunderstandings and misinformation surrounding males who enjoy anal sex (What you like to do in the bedroom does not define your sexuality; it is who you want to do those acts with that does.) My partner enjoys anal play/prostate stimulation and one of the sexiest and most gratifying ways I can provide him with that particular pleasure is through strap-on sex. I can stimulate his prostate, provide intense prostate orgasms and even heighten is usual orgasms through<b> pegging. </font></b>A huge advantage to using a strap-on to give him anal pleasure is that both of my hands remain free to stimulate him (or myself) at the same time. I, like most people, am a giver. I feed off of my partner’s arousal, which means that when I heightening his, I also fuel my own lust. Strap on sex is so intimate and so intense that his arousal (And therefore mine) continues to spiral upwards.
I know that my partner, like most other guys, has at one time or another had to deal with those aforementioned misunderstandings from peers, but the fact that he has the confidence to let himself go so completely, to allow me to perform such an intimate act on him, shows a high level of trust and intimacy, which empowers us both. This further adds to the psychological (emotional) arousal I feel when<b> pegging </font></b>him.
I think there is a general assumption that a woman needs to be dominant, or into BDSM play, in order to enjoy<b> pegging </font></b>her partner. I believe this idea comes from the porn industry, where most strap-on scenes involve a dominant female and a submissive male. Of course, there is nothing wrong with this dynamic, it is one that I personally enjoy, but like all sexual proclivities, strap-on sex can be enjoyed by any couple, with or without a power dynamic. There have been many instances where I have been more passive and my partner has taken control of the session. Can there be anything more erotic than watching your partner let themselves go, as they seek their own pleasure?
So what is a woman to do when she is super turned on, but is<b> pegging </font></b>her partner? (I hear you ask). Well, it might come as a surprise to know that, despite being desperately horny while I peg him, I don’t have to take care of myself right then and there. I like to consider this as foreplay, of sorts, and I simply focus my attention him, letting my own arousal build while I absorb the sights and sounds of him having a good time. My orgasm can wait until later. Of course, there are times when I might want to physically stimulate myself, or he wishes to stimulate me and contrary to popular belief, it is possible to do, even with a strap-on attached. Thankfully there are plenty of strap-on harnesses designed to leave the vulva and vagina exposed for easy access. Some harnesses don’t allow access, but the wearer can often slip a vibrating bullet or small clitoral vibrator inside the harnesses during wear. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Strap-on sex definitely adds an exciting dimension to my sex life and as you can see, it can be just as stimulating, both mentally and physically, for the person doing the pegging, as it is for the person receiving. I have listed my reasons for enjoying strap-on sex, including the psychological thrill of acting out my fantasies, the excitement I get from pleasuring him and the fact that I feel so much closer to him, knowing that he trusts me to play with him in such an intimate way. Of course, my list is not exhaustive. Humans are complex creatures and the thrills we get from indulging in any sexual activity with be unique for each person, but I believe it is our mind that is our largest sex organ and when you stimulate the imagination first and foremost, you can reach whole new levels of arousal. With this in mind, it probably becomes a lot clearer why strap-on sex can be so enjoyable for both partners alike.
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