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Body Image-9th Virtual Symposium  

veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
9620 posts
6/27/2015 7:04 am

Last Read:
8/6/2015 5:23 am

Body Image-9th Virtual Symposium



I look at myself in the mirror. What do I see? I see a man with black hair with olive skin. I am older now. I have more and more silver hair. I think to myself, “I’m not that old.” I have a stomach paunch- it has been getting harder to get rid of this belly bulge! I think I am still attractive. I deem my legs and butt are my best assets. I peruse my private parts, my male parts, and I judge them inadequate. I wish my penis was bigger. I always felt different due to the fact I am not circumcised.

With this new symposium topic of Body Imagery, I decided to really peruse myself in a full body mirror. I have realized that after all this time; I still have a body image issue. I have always felt “different” and abnormal. I have felt like a foreigner and anomalous due to the fact I was born and lived overseas and then transported, at age 7, to the Midwest. I noticed right away that people noticed my difference. I was not homogenized like most of the at my private school. I stood out. Alien. My skin tone and color was darker. My eye shape was different. And my penis was not circumcised. I was a brunt of jokes and teasing. In today’s standard, it would be called being “bullied.” I fought the bullies. I won most of the time. I won respect, albeit it was literally hard fought, with my peers. I became popular.

Being popular was so weird. It did not take away my self-disparaging low self-esteem- my body image thoughts of being “different” and “abhorrent” remained with me. All through high school and college, I was popular and I had many friends. Dating was a nightmare for me. I felt I was not good enough and that due to my differences, I was not comfortable being naked.

Fast forward to today. I am older and wiser. I like who I am. I am confident. For the most part, I think I am no longer haunted with my negative body image of myself, but I do catch myself occasionally looking at my naked body and my skewed thinking (stinking thinking) starts to ramp up. I fat. I am ugly. I am different. My penis is too small. I don’t like my uncircumcised cock. I hate my foreskin. I don’t like my eyes. I then take a deep breath and take step back. I acknowledge my differences. I am proud of my differences. I know my penis is of average in size. I love my foreskin and how it helps my orgasms. I have met woman who loved my body. I am exotic. I am different from the homogenized white Anglo Saxon part of the world I reside in. Viva la difference!

Thus, the point I am trying to make is that body imagery and self-esteem are tied together. How people treat each other does affect how others perceive themselves. For men and woman in the United States of America, how one looks is judged important. Different and “alien” don’t fit in. tease the different…too fat, too dark, too tall, too short, and too outside the norm (mentally retarded, emotionally disabled, and birth defects). People are more than their looks or images. The outside is only a shell and what makes us special is how we feel and how we think. I believe in synergy-the interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects. My looks are only a small part of who I am. I am so much more! How is your body image today compared to when you were: in grade school, in high school, and in your 20’s? How does body image affect your self-esteem? I leave you with this quote by Amy Bloom, ““You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.”




“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64



veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 7:46 am

another body image quote:

[image]

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


sweet_VM 63F
81573 posts
6/27/2015 7:47 am

All sexy funny. I think as we grow older we see the true beauty in all people. hugsssssssss V

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veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 7:52 am

    Quoting sweet_VM:
    All sexy funny. I think as we grow older we see the true beauty in all people. hugsssssssss V
so true....with age should come wisdom and tolerance!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


spunkycumfun 61M/66F
39404 posts
6/27/2015 7:59 am

A thoughtful and excellent post.


spunkycumfun 61M/66F
39404 posts
6/27/2015 8:00 am

    Quoting sweet_VM:
    All sexy funny. I think as we grow older we see the true beauty in all people. hugsssssssss V
I love the saying of the image you posted!


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 8:07 am

thanks!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 8:09 am

    Quoting spunkycumfun:
    I love the saying of the image you posted!
Yep! Good messages!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


CampoGirl 55F
43434 posts
6/27/2015 8:17 am

An excellent read! Kids are too critical towards themselves....and the other kids make it tough when they bully.

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veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 8:20 am

    Quoting CampoGirl:
    An excellent read! Kids are too critical towards themselves....and the other kids make it tough when they bully.
yes....I know first hand and I bet lots of others do too! I appreciate you stopping by and taking the time to comment!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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pal334 67M  
45038 posts
6/27/2015 9:08 am

well done. As we age, I think we can appreciate others and ourselves better

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veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 9:26 am

    Quoting pal334:
    well done. As we age, I think we can appreciate others and ourselves better
yes, Pal, you are right! We get to be more forgiving!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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NaughtyInSO 110F
9755 posts
6/27/2015 2:17 pm

Beautiful post and so true!

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citizen4722 63M  
73536 posts
6/27/2015 3:13 pm

I would prefer to have a little more meat on my bones if I'm being honest. I eat well but just can't seem to put on any weight.


misskissin 58F
87742 posts
6/27/2015 6:31 pm

This is a fabulous post. I think we tend to think we are the only ones that are critical of ourselves when honestly we are never alone in this. I was telling someone just this morning that we are far more critical of ourselves than anyone else could ever be. I think we should remind ourselves every day that there is no one in the world exactly like us so we are all precious gifts to the world. We have so much to offer, over and above our exterior selves. We should appreciate that. Everyday.


Gntillhom 66M
5906 posts
6/27/2015 6:45 pm

Perfection is not in this world, beauty is, you're right. And it lies in other people's eyes.

I enjoyed reading your post - it's sensible.


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 6:52 pm

    Quoting  :

most days I feel like you... of all my attributes make the best me....synergy at work!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 6:53 pm

yes, I accept me with all best attributes and warts and all !

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 6:54 pm

    Quoting  :

yes, with age hopefully comes wisdom and forgiveness!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 6:56 pm

    Quoting misskissin:
    This is a fabulous post. I think we tend to think we are the only ones that are critical of ourselves when honestly we are never alone in this. I was telling someone just this morning that we are far more critical of ourselves than anyone else could ever be. I think we should remind ourselves every day that there is no one in the world exactly like us so we are all precious gifts to the world. We have so much to offer, over and above our exterior selves. We should appreciate that. Everyday.
I am the best at being myself and there is no one like me!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 6:57 pm

    Quoting citizen4722:
    I would prefer to have a little more meat on my bones if I'm being honest. I eat well but just can't seem to put on any weight.
yes, I am the opposite....I can't seem to lose weight!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 6:59 pm

    Quoting Gntillhom:
    Perfection is not in this world, beauty is, you're right. And it lies in other people's eyes.

    I enjoyed reading your post - it's sensible.
sensible and I am working on my self image and self esteem!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


SlenderGal88 55F  
10361 posts
6/27/2015 7:34 pm

Great honest and interesting post!

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veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/27/2015 7:36 pm

I am glad you found it interesting and thanks for commenting!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/28/2015 5:15 am

    Quoting  :

Yes....it's why I participate in the Symposium! Thanks for your thoughts!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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2trythis 58F
5109 posts
6/28/2015 6:29 am

"My looks are only a small part of who I am. I am so much more!"

I wish we could get this message to the younger generations in a way that they would believe it. Thank you for sharing your story, for the openness and honesty. That takes courage.


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/28/2015 7:09 am

    Quoting 2trythis:
    "My looks are only a small part of who I am. I am so much more!"

    I wish we could get this message to the younger generations in a way that they would believe it. Thank you for sharing your story, for the openness and honesty. That takes courage.
If you asked me to do this 5 years ago....I would not have. With age comes wisdom...and confidence in oneself. I realized I am who I am....be proud...there is no one like me! Thanks for the compliment! You are right...we need to send this message to all people at a young age and keep reinforcing it!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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author51 58F  
126238 posts
6/28/2015 12:13 pm

I love my body more now than when it actually had all parts pert and tight.....lol. Confidence in ourselves and being comfortable not matter wha we look like to the public eye is key for me....BTW I have always had a thing for dark haired olive skinned fellas...

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tigger678902 54F  
4545 posts
6/28/2015 12:21 pm

you're correct on how people are treated shaping their self image and self esteem and body image,...my body image when I was younger was awful and then got worse,...ironically it's much better now, when I'm much heavier and aging in new and interesting ways,...I feel like i look better, such a waste all those years when I actually had a nice body and didn't believe it

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BeccaLuvs 59F
20557 posts
6/28/2015 1:39 pm

Sadly and yet true VF - we are often our own worst enemies and "bullies"? Prob the reason we can get hurt so easily. The "me inside" def makes the person, and like our very unique fingerprints we are all "different" - So, "Viva la difference"! A great post!

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myelin36 50F
3612 posts
6/28/2015 2:40 pm

Excellent self reflection. I think as we mature, we tend to be more accepting of ourselves.

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veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/28/2015 3:36 pm

    Quoting author51:
    I love my body more now than when it actually had all parts pert and tight.....lol. Confidence in ourselves and being comfortable not matter wha we look like to the public eye is key for me....BTW I have always had a thing for dark haired olive skinned fellas...
I concur with age comes confidence! I have met lots of woman in my life who love olive skinned men! Thank goodness for me! WEG!!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/28/2015 3:37 pm

    Quoting tigger678902:
    you're correct on how people are treated shaping their self image and self esteem and body image,...my body image when I was younger was awful and then got worse,...ironically it's much better now, when I'm much heavier and aging in new and interesting ways,...I feel like i look better, such a waste all those years when I actually had a nice body and didn't believe it
so true....with age comes acceptance and confidence! I wish I had my acceptance and confidence when I was younger!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/28/2015 3:38 pm

    Quoting BeccaLuvs:
    Sadly and yet true VF - we are often our own worst enemies and "bullies"? Prob the reason we can get hurt so easily. The "me inside" def makes the person, and like our very unique fingerprints we are all "different" - So, "Viva la difference"! A great post!
thanks for the compliment! I concur....the differences make us better and fun!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/28/2015 3:40 pm

    Quoting myelin36:
    Excellent self reflection. I think as we mature, we tend to be more accepting of ourselves.
yes maturity means honesty, forgiveness, and acceptance! Thanks for stopping by!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/28/2015 8:31 pm

    Quoting  :

thanks my friend...I have to be honest!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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KItkat1415 59F
20036 posts
6/28/2015 10:18 pm

I, too, was "other".
My mother being Mexican, gave me her olive skin tone.
But she also had aspects of her visage that looked Asian. So even for a Mexican American, I looked different. But...
Now people tell me that they think my being different is cool.
And as I am not fucked up, I had to think during high school that it didn't matter that I didn't look American or Mexican but looked "other".
Great post.
Kk

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Athene76 48F
1310 posts
6/29/2015 3:40 am

Awesome post!
What makes me think is that I never ever met a young person who would not be overly critical of their body. Not one.
Time helps with that but even grown ups seem to prefer stressing their "flaws" rather then appreciating their positives.
I personally, regarded myself as non-desirable up to the age of about 25. Only then I discovered that others disagree, a true eye opener

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veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/29/2015 5:25 am

    Quoting KItkat1415:
    I, too, was "other".
    My mother being Mexican, gave me her olive skin tone.
    But she also had aspects of her visage that looked Asian. So even for a Mexican American, I looked different. But...
    Now people tell me that they think my being different is cool.
    And as I am not fucked up, I had to think during high school that it didn't matter that I didn't look American or Mexican but looked "other".
    Great post.
    Kk
Thanks Kk....I know you know how I felt! I appreciate you stopping by!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/29/2015 5:27 am

    Quoting Athene76:
    Awesome post!
    What makes me think is that I never ever met a young person who would not be overly critical of their body. Not one.
    Time helps with that but even grown ups seem to prefer stressing their "flaws" rather then appreciating their positives.
    I personally, regarded myself as non-desirable up to the age of about 25. Only then I discovered that others disagree, a true eye opener
yes, as we age, we become tolerant and accepting of ourselves! Speaking of eye opener- your eyes are sure awesome!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


kzoopair 70M/68F
25822 posts
6/29/2015 9:25 am

This is a terrific post! I love it! Thanks for sharing it!

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veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/29/2015 9:44 am

    Quoting kzoopair:
    This is a terrific post! I love it! Thanks for sharing it!
You are welcome

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


39lawless 56F
6864 posts
6/29/2015 11:15 am

We are all "other" somehow and I think our work as human beings is to embrace how we are different from others, while also seeing how similar we are. I really enjoyed reading your post - you seem like you really get this!

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veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
6/29/2015 11:32 am

    Quoting 39lawless:
    We are all "other" somehow and I think our work as human beings is to embrace how we are different from others, while also seeing how similar we are. I really enjoyed reading your post - you seem like you really get this!
I get this through living it! It took time and acceptance! Thanks for stopping by!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
7/4/2015 9:16 am

    Quoting  :

Thanks Hazeleyes, I appreciate your praises!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


humorlife 116M
5710 posts
7/8/2015 7:35 am

Wow... what an intimate personal inventory. A hell of a thing -- and I mean this in the most positive, encouraging sense -- to share. Thank you.

Glad, for all your apparent pain, that you came out on the other side... and that you contributed this as a result!

Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
7/8/2015 5:29 pm

    Quoting humorlife:
    Wow... what an intimate personal inventory. A hell of a thing -- and I mean this in the most positive, encouraging sense -- to share. Thank you.

    Glad, for all your apparent pain, that you came out on the other side... and that you contributed this as a result!
thanks for the compliment! either grow or you withdraw and hide!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


CHICream 47M

7/12/2015 10:58 pm

yes good post


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
7/13/2015 5:48 am

thanks...I appreciate you stopping by!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
8/6/2015 4:51 am

    Quoting veryfunnycple64:
    thanks for the compliment! either grow or you withdraw and hide!
maybe I should say...we must grow or stagnate!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


veryfunnycple64 57M/58F  
21770 posts
8/6/2015 4:58 am

    Quoting 39lawless:
    We are all "other" somehow and I think our work as human beings is to embrace how we are different from others, while also seeing how similar we are. I really enjoyed reading your post - you seem like you really get this!
yes, I do embrace my other and other people's other!!

“Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh

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veryfunnycple64


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