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COVID-19 and our sex lives  

voyeur2017 59M  
239 posts
9/27/2021 8:45 am
COVID-19 and our sex lives


An interesting perspective on COVID-19 and impact on sexual activity and desire. I know that my desire to "meet-up" has waned the past 18 months -- when the odds of ventilator or physical sex are weighed... I lean toward masturbation... however, now I just ask to see their vaccination card ~~ and we will see how things go. LOL

Source: The Guardian (a UK publication)
Have we really stopped having sex?
Every decade since 1990, the UK has carried out a detailed National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (Natsal). In 2020-21 it was replaced by the smaller Natsal-Covid study, which painted a complicated picture: of those in cohabiting relationships, 78% saw a change in their sex life, usually for the worse. One in 10 reported sexual difficulties that started or worsened in lockdown. Even though 63% reported some sexual activity, 75% of those who did were in a cohabiting relationship. Times have inevitably been even leaner for couples who weren’t living together. As for people who weren’t in a relationship, the lockdown months were a catastrophe: only one in 30 women and one in 10 men had a new sexual partner.

Has social distancing atrophied desire for intimacy?
There’s a subtle but gigantic mental barrier to cross in going from two metres to zero millimetres apart. “People are not necessarily scared of Covid, says Nutland (London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine). “They’ve just forgotten how to be close. This doesn’t always have a sexual dimension many people describe anxieties about everyday proximity and crowded spaces. We’ve lost those social and sexual skills, he adds, though they’ll come back with a bit of time.

Have lockdowns shaken our body confidence?
Nearly half of us 48% put on weight in lockdown, and 29% said they drank more. But that interacted with more nebulous feelings of pessimism and low self-esteem that come with too much time indoors. Jenny Keane, a sex educator who was running an online orgasm workshop when the pandemic broke out, says feedback she was getting “centred on low libido, lack of desire and low self-esteem, which are in a vicious circle. So she tailored a course on “body confidence and sexual self-care.

Does long Covid kill your mojo?
Eleanor Draeger, a sexual health and HIV doctor, counsels against too much extrapolation. People with all sorts of physical disabilities have sex, and long Covid is a physical disability. They may not be having hanging-from-the-chandelier sex, but they can still have sex. However, she agrees that if low libido is a symptom, it will be pretty decisive.

Have we become obsessed with hygiene?
Sanitized sex is a contradiction in terms. It isn’t reasonable or possible to be intimate with someone while maintaining germ barriers. After 18 months of trying to keep ourselves physically separate, it is quite hard to stop seeing closeness as a threat. Draeger (a sexual health and HIV doctor) has seen this play out vividly in her clinical work, to the point where an STI diagnosis that wouldn’t normally have caused a huge amount of angst has had a hugely damaging effect. People have told me having an STI felt really stressful in the context of Covid,” she says. They just felt that everything was unclean.

Also, where is everyone?
Dating apps, brutal at the best of times, are a bit quiet. Anya says: When the pandemic started, I was 36. Now I’m 38. Part of me does worry that men are looking for women whose fertility isn’t going to be an issue.” And where do you meet people, if you’ve had enough of app dating? After-work drinks,<b> bars </font></b>and festivals have all either disappeared or are operating under new limits that squash flirting opportunities.

Why haven’t we gone back to normal now?
Sex is about connection, and the pandemic has been about disconnection physical and emotional: at some time or another, we’ve all been in fight-or-flight mode, which is about as disconnected as life gets. Keane (a sex educator who was running an online orgasm workshop) believes there is a way back, if we understand better how our state of being affects our interest in sex. Whatever the problem, everybody’s question is always: ‘Am I broken?’ When so many of us carry shame about bodily functions and confusion about sex, good quality, sex-positive education is key. You can change your entire relationship with yourself just by changing the understanding of your body. My answer is always the same. ‘No, you are not broken.’”

voyeur2017 59M  
1356 posts
9/28/2021 8:21 am

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    What interesting information about covid and peoples sex lives. I know it hasn't affected mine at all. Happy Monday my friend, I hope it's a great start to your week..
Good to know that cohabitating couples are enjoying time isolating at home


voyeur2017 59M  
1356 posts
9/28/2021 8:19 am

    Quoting spunkycumfun:
    Covid has had an effect for people with meeting up and having sex. Even for those living with their sexual partner, covid has held the mirror of our mortality, hardly conducive to sex.
    I suspect it's only the covid-deniers and anti-vaxers that are having more sex!
I suspect swinger couples are more selective -- and many lifestyle adult clubs require proof of vaccination ..... and the article did point out how cohabitating couples sex lives have been negatively effected due to life's angst and stress created by COVID-19. The anti-vaxers probably are having sex as their last rites~~~ given that Delta finds them.


voyeur2017 59M  
1356 posts
9/28/2021 8:16 am

    Quoting lust4life59:
    My libido is at an all time high, but the possibilities are low.. That sums it up for me
That may reflect most people on this site - high libido, but low real-life possibilities ... makes me wonder why there has been such in increase in "live" model cams over the past 18 months?? I suspect adult sex toy sales have boomed too ~ Cheers ~


voyeur2017 59M  
1356 posts
9/28/2021 8:13 am

    Quoting superdad427:
    Good post. The psychology of this entire pandemic situation is quite complicated. So much fear, uncertainty + so many who wish they could do the things they used to do. Many are, but nothing is quite the same as it was. Rules appear to change on demand.
    As for sex, yeah it's not an ideal situation right now. Living where I do, it is less apparent, but many I have talked in other places are still living under difficult conditions.
    When will the madness end?
I am hopeful that "normal" will return in 2023 as more of the global population becomes vaccinated, have developed antibodies or have died. COVID-19 has changed societal behavior and the changes will remain especially regarding sexual activity. I suspect cases of STD/STI may decrease because of heighten awareness of disease and safety.


voyeur2017 59M  
1356 posts
9/28/2021 6:50 am

    Quoting author51:
    Even though COVID has taken a toll on my sex life and meeting new people, especially those who are not double vaxinated, the rest of my life has been good. Do I miss the intimacy and sex with a lover? sure I do and have no doubt it will happen soon again. It is by choice right now that I have not had sex with anyone new. The reason noow is mostly due to work and my schedule which does not match many of the men I am interested in....xoxo
I venture to guess that the decline in business travel had an impact on "meetups"...... especially affairs ...... I also suspect that the sale of sex toys has been very good the past 18 months .... hang in there.... normal times will be here again in 2023..... xoxo


author51 58F  
125824 posts
9/28/2021 12:18 am

Even though COVID has taken a toll on my sex life and meeting new people, especially those who are not double vaxinated, the rest of my life has been good. Do I miss the intimacy and sex with a lover? sure I do and have no doubt it will happen soon again. It is by choice right now that I have not had sex with anyone new. The reason noow is mostly due to work and my schedule which does not match many of the men I am interested in....xoxo

You can never have enough JOY in your life...xoxo

RIDE


superdad427 50M  
8 posts
9/27/2021 7:17 pm

Good post. The psychology of this entire pandemic situation is quite complicated. So much fear, uncertainty + so many who wish they could do the things they used to do. Many are, but nothing is quite the same as it was. Rules appear to change on demand.
As for sex, yeah it's not an ideal situation right now. Living where I do, it is less apparent, but many I have talked in other places are still living under difficult conditions.
When will the madness end?


lust4life59 62F
2365 posts
9/27/2021 4:13 pm

My libido is at an all time high, but the possibilities are low.. That sums it up for me


spunkycumfun 61M/66F
39268 posts
9/27/2021 2:48 pm

Covid has had an effect for people with meeting up and having sex. Even for those living with their sexual partner, covid has held the mirror of our mortality, hardly conducive to sex.
I suspect it's only the covid-deniers and anti-vaxers that are having more sex!


Tmptrzz 59F  
103963 posts
9/27/2021 1:11 pm

What interesting information about covid and peoples sex lives. I know it hasn't affected mine at all. Happy Monday my friend, I hope it's a great start to your week..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


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