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Trust and Forgiveness  

wants2playalong 55F
7 posts
3/8/2015 2:36 pm
Trust and Forgiveness

I have been struggling with the concepts of trust and forgiveness for the last day or so. Someone who I allowed to hurt me deeply - violating my trust not just once but twice - felt the need to drop me a note to apologize and ask forgiveness. Reading the note, all the anger, hurt and frustration came crashing back down on me as if it had just happened yesterday. I literally felt the same helpless, hopelessness that happened at the time. Spent this morning exploring my feelings to make sure I am not being overly sensitive or over reacting to something that in the overall picture is just trivial. Deciding it was not, I sent a reply that basically said I would forgive by letting go of my anger and desire to hurt back but that I would in no way forget the act that hurt me nor would I deny the other person's responsibility for hurting me or minimize the wrong done. We can never again be friends period. What I didn't say is that it has affected my ability to trust anyone beyond a certain degree and my bullshit meter has a very low threshold now.

The difficult part for me is to not turn hard and cold, to not shut my heart completely to anyone who tries to get close when that is exactly what I want to do to avoid getting hurt again by someone close to me.

Something I wrote during my thought process....


The wound was almost healed
Just oozing slightly
Tho still tender to touch
Then your inconsiderate need
To ask for forgiveness
To assuage your own guilt
Ripped off the scab
So now the pain flows freely again
Like blood from a fresh deep cut

wants2playalong 55F
3 posts
3/8/2015 3:03 pm

Thanks Countess! to you too!

burblesback07 39M
532 posts
3/8/2015 3:56 pm

Tough one to bounce back from, people say forgiveness is the beginning or forgive and forget but I know how hard forgiving some people for what theyve done can be and if it really does work in all cases ??
I wish you the best whatever you decide to do and hope you can one day forget all that happened and at least put it behind you

wants2playalong 55F
3 posts
3/8/2015 6:19 pm

I should be pretty good at bouncing by now - so much so I should have rubber in my muscles! Not the first time I have been in this position but this time is worse because the person who betrayed me knew the background I came from yet pulled the same shit on me....get me to trust then kick me when I am down....gee thanks....

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