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Ok...I'm not paying for the possibility of being with you.  

whoisagentj 50M
705 posts
11/30/2017 1:22 pm

Last Read:
12/4/2017 10:20 am

Ok...I'm not paying for the possibility of being with you.

Alright...so there is a member here. No I will not say names or out this person. But I will say she is popular here and she cams a lot, has over 3000 + fans and...she lives somewhat close to me.

So I decided to say hello, introduce myself, and tell her how I thought she was attractive and that I wanted to see if the two of us could meet, since we were close and local to each other.

Her reply (when I asked her on her cam)...

"Sure, you we could, but I only get together with members of my fan club, which if you subscribe to it, we could POSSIBLY get together."

Ummm, yeah....but no thank you.

First off...I'm not a fan. I was legitimately asking if you would like to go out sometime. But then again, I was stupid enough for asking on her while she was on her cam. I should have instant messaged her instead.

Second...to become a fan club member, I have to pay 14.95 a month...to be a fan. Ummm, no. I don't have money to be dishing out when I got bills to pay, that would be irresponsible of me to do that when I have more pressing matters.

Finally...if I did that, then IF we POSSIBLY did get together, wouldn't that be in a sense...? Wouldn't I be paying you for the services? Look, I'm not turning my nose down on . If people want to pay for that, fine, no one is hurting anyone if both parties want to consent to that. But...that's just not me. I don't want to have to pay for sex. I never have. I'd rather it be special. That it mean something...shared between two people, intimate. And that's not saying it can't be if you pay for it, but to me, it cheapens things. I'd rather be with someone because they WANT to be with me for just ME being ME, and I want to be with them for who they are, not because I paid them for it.

Don't get me wrong. I have no beefs with . It's just that I don't want to pay for sex. And....I'm a cheap bastard. LOL! Ok, I'm kidding on that last part. Seriously though, I'd rather be with someone without paying for sex, and then use the money so we can go to dinner and the two of us can enjoy a nice meal. Or we go somewhere nice, like a show. And then we can enjoy ourselves and have a nice time, get to know each other. Develop a relationship. Not by paying for it, and then an hour or two later, be on my way and leave, feeling used. Because to me, that's how I would feel...that I not only used her, but I was used as well because I paid her for her time.

So with all due respect, but I just want to be with someone because they want to be with me. Not have to pay you for your time. That's just not me nor do I want to be like that.

So thank you...but no thank you. I will not be paying you to be a "FAN". That's another thing...why am I going to pay you to be a fan? Why would anyone want to pay someone else to be a fan? If I'm a fan, wouldn't you want that person to be your fan because of WHO YOU ARE? Not because I had to pay for the pleasure of being a fan? What kind of twisted logic is that? Which means if you are reading this blog, and you're a fan, should I be charging each and every one of you for the pleasure of reading my infinite wisdom and knowledge I drop into your lives? NO! You get the gift of Agent J for free my lovelies! LOL! (Ok, seriously, if I get anything out of my blog, entertainment, knowledge, laughter, wisdom, I would feel blessed from that alone, so if you get anything out of my blog, awesome, kudos for me, but honestly, I'm not banking on it.)

In short, no I'm not paying to be a fan. Now if you want to meet because you want to meet with me, to get to know me, awesome. But I'm not paying you to be a fan, I'm not paying you for your services to POSSIBLY meet you. Nuh uh, it's not happening, so sorry, do not pass Go, do not collect $200 dollars.

And that's all I have to say about that. Thanks for reading. Peace.

Who can you call on to save the day?

Why none other than...


Heathen_G 61M
7863 posts
12/4/2017 12:55 am

She was clearly the epitome of women being for sexual entertainment. You don't invite a hooker to marry you , nor to go out with you later.

Yes, you should have privately emailed the woman, but still, she is working, taking money from men. That's her self appointed job.

But I noticed , and wonder if anyone else noticed, the similarity to what males do when they want the company of a woman [and really, really should stop doing it]. They "Pay" for dinners, they "Pay" for drinks. They "Pay" to entertain the woman.......when really all he has to do is show up , and if she is into him, they get down to fun stuff.

Why would anyone want to pay someone else to be a fan?..... Exactly. They are suckers if they do pay. Yes?

If I'm a fan, wouldn't you want that person to be your fan because of WHO YOU ARE? ... Good question. Now extend that question to inviting ANY woman out, to spend time with you. If she accepts the invitation, it should be because of "Who you are", NOT, what you can buy her. She can buy her own drinks and food, etc.

Not because I had to pay for the pleasure of being a fan? .... You should not be giving a woman money directly, nor indirectly , to spend time with you, at all.

Although there is nothing wrong with the business transaction of sex for money, with a professional. But you don't invite them out later.

whoisagentj replies on 12/4/2017 10:19 am:
Here is the thing Heathen. I did not know she did a professional cam show until AFTER. I thought she was doing the show in a non professional way. If I had known, I probably would not have made any effort to contact her.

lyavu 47F  
1346 posts
12/2/2017 10:03 pm

Ok why bring it up? U have all these women who u can see without paying. Somethings are better left alone .

whoisagentj replies on 12/3/2017 1:26 pm:
So, then you are saying I should be paying her for the possibility of getting laid and choose to abandon my own morals and ethics?

lustasaurus 43F  
1751 posts
11/30/2017 2:26 pm

This commentary always falls on deaf ears, but here goes anyway:

This woman is here for her benefit, not strictly for yours. She gets to decide what that means. And she has thousands of fans, so she's probably doing something right.

This is one woman. With thousands of men demanding her attention, and getting angry when they don't get it. Do the math!

So you want to use her time to "meet." You have some notion that she a) has an infinite amount of time to meet every guy who shows interest or b) will magically realize that you are the man of her dreams. You will call her "attractive," and thus your unique and generous complement will entitle you to her time and attention.

It's likely that you have a drastic misunderstanding of what it is she might want and/or an inflated expectation that you must be it. This is common -- very common.

Paying for sex/attention/fandom is the only honest and dignified way to address the discrepancy between what a woman wants and how little the average man cares about what a woman wants.

Most people want sex to be special. But when a thousand guys assume a woman is free to be "special" with them just because it's what they want, it's not special - it's a job.

whoisagentj replies on 11/30/2017 3:01 pm:
Defintely not deaf ears. I'm willing to listen to your view on things here.

As to what she's here for, if that's what she's strictly here for, then that's her choice. And I respect it as such.

But I was asking if she would like to get together so we could get to know each other. I wasn't asking for sex, I was asking to get to know her.

But once she explained what she was looking for, it became clear to me what she was here for, which was business purposes only. And I want to be clear here...your view is that because I'm a man, that's I'm offended that I she demand to be paid. Which is where I disagree. I'm not mad she asked to be paid for her time. I just do not want to pay her for her time. Because I feel it cheapens things between both her and I, when I am looking for something more along the lines of a relationship, as a friend, a soul mate, and a lover. That is what I was looking for. Now, once she spelled out what she was here for, I moved on from her. What? Cam performers can't have a relationship outside of what she is doing?

I do freely admit however that me asking her while she was in a cam performance was probably not a smart move on my part. I should have asked her via IM, and I tried to do that beforehand, but she did not respond, thus I thought maybe I could ask her there. Not the wisest of moves, I admit.

Look, I see where you are coming here. Yes, she has the right to do what she wants and drum up business. But don't expect me to pay for the right to be someone's FAN. That is just me and how I feel. But if you think that I'm offended by her right to do business, I'm not. But I'm not going to participate in it either.

And yeah, I want sex to be special. I want it to be with the person that I care about. There is nothing wrong with that. In return, I give that person my time, and she gives me her time in return to where we can share it together as a couple. And it shouldn't have to be a JOB. But in truth, if you want a relationship to work, it shouldn't have to feel like work, but in a sense...yeah it is work. You work to make that person happy and feel wanted, and the person you are with should WANT to do the same because they care about you.

Readmoreofeveryt 47F

11/30/2017 2:22 pm

I completely agree with you

BendMeOver278 29F  
2757 posts
11/30/2017 2:03 pm

It sounds like you're offended or mad. I'm pretty sure you've been on here a while. Lots of members are very willing to pay or be paid. Just a part of this site and I suppose you just gotta get used to someone possibly wanting something in return for a date.

Just as many women on here have to get used to being asked if we'll fuck for money. It offended me at first. Then I realized it wasn't an insult to me. It was just how some members of the site go about.

whoisagentj replies on 11/30/2017 2:45 pm:
Oh yeah, I've been here a while. But I'm not offended by it. If that's what she wants to do, like I said it's no skin off my nose, because that's her business, and I'm not mad at her for it. But at the same time, I'm not going to pay someone for sex. That's just me.

But I wouldn't treat you like that or any other woman like that. I was raised to respect someone, especially a woman. Well, until they decide to be disrespectful of course. But even if she offered that, I would just say "Thanks, but no thanks, that's just not me."

But I would never ask that of you, because I was raised differently. I'd politely ask if you would like to get together so I could get to know you better. And respect whatever answer is given as long as you were polite in return.

mad864012001 70M
100 posts
11/30/2017 2:02 pm

sorry but I have agree with you on that one I have never seen woman pay guys on cam just to get to know them why is that ?? OH wait I have seen it I have one that did it only to not show up we do text but nothing more has came from it is this being a flake on there part or what ? I see her on line a lot but when I text her I get no response !!! and if I'm lucky enough to get one she says she doesn't sit on the dam thing hummmm ? any way I agree I will not join a fan club for some cheap slut to get money and that becoming more the norm on here .

whoisagentj replies on 11/30/2017 2:39 pm:
Well, I respect people for doing a business, even if they are doing a cam show. But I wasn't asking about her cam show, I was asking if she wanted to get together for a cup of coffee or a drink or to hang out so we could get to know each other. Granted, I probably should not have asked her while she was on her cam, because that was just dumb on my part.
But still, I respect women for whatever they want to do, but I'm not going to participate or pay for the pleasure of someone's services in a sexual manner. That's just not me. Simple as that. Now if she wants to do that with other desperate guys to do that, it's no skin off of my nose, what she does in the privacy of her own home is her deal. And I know things can be dangerous for cam performers, I truly get that. But like I said, that's just not me, nor am I going to pay for sex.

whoisagentj 50M
6076 posts
11/30/2017 1:24 pm

But hey, if you want to pay ME money, I'm cool with that. Because I'm broke. I'll even take change. I'll be the spare change gigolo! Yeah, that's the ticket! j/k

Who can you call on to save the day?

Why none other than...


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