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College Years - My Panty Girl
Posted:Jun 20, 2011 7:37 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2021 5:14 am

In my last post I mentioned a good friend of mine that I have named Panty Girl (or PG). I am not using anyone’s real name in here of course, and the names I pick are used for specific reasons. PG and I had an interesting relationship, and still do to this day.

I met PG my freshman year of college. She was a friend of my roommate and he brought her by the room a lot. At first I didn’t really care for her much at all. She was a preppie kind of person, very vain, more worried about her looks than much of anything else. I was totally wrong about her at the time, but I was young and stupid back then. (I am now older and less stupid, but not by a whole lot some days.) What I did not know was that she liked me and wanted to date me, thus she was constantly fishing for compliments around me and I never caught on. There is one large reason I never caught on my freshman year, but I’ll get into that some other time.

By my sophomore year someone had let it slip the PG really liked me. Apparently she had written on her notebooks both of our names together in hearts, practiced writing her first name with my last name, and other high school types of things. I didn’t believe a word of it until she stopped by one day and someone pointed out the names in the hearts. I was told this was another way she was trying to flirt with me and I never noticed. By that point we were becoming friends as she hung out with my roommate a lot, and we all did things together. She had decided to move on to other guys about the time someone pointed out that she liked me though. Apparently I took too long to take notice of her.
By our Junior year we were good friends. She had dated a few different people, I never really dated (again, I’ll get back to that later, it is a much longer story). She and I would flirt on occasion, and we joked a lot about sex, but that was nothing overly unusual around me in my group of friends. I would ask her to flash me, like I asked every girl in the group at that time, and she would just laugh it off.

Our Senior year is when things got more complicated in general. The girl I was very interested in, the reason I never really dated all those years, got engaged at the end of our Junior Year. That summer instead of going home I had an opportunity to work on campus with the IT department. It was minimum wage and only 40 hours a week, but I was away from home. By that point I dreaded going home. My parents treated me like a teenage when I went home, trying to impose a curfew, deciding how late I could stay up, making sure I checked in when I was going someplace, etc. If I had gone home I could have worked in a warehouse with my mom like I did the past two summers and made almost twice the money, but freedom rang out at me and I couldn’t turn that down.

Of the IT group that stayed, almost everyone was a close friend of mine. The gaming group I belonged to had managed to take over the IT department on campus, and if we did not refer you in, then you had to be a computer science major to even get an interview. The Computer Science people only got jobs because it was required for their degree, but most of them played Dungeons and Dragons as well so all worked out pretty well.

PG was not in the IT department though. She would call on a regular basis to see how we were all doing, and some other friends would stop by, sick of staying with their parents and wishing they had a way to come back to the campus early. PG announced that she was having a pool party for her birthday that summer and asked me to come. I had said sure at the time, but as the weekend approached I wasn’t feeling it at all. As much fun as I was having, it seemed that week everyone accidently reminded me of my other friend’s engagement. It didn’t help that the fiancée was working with us that summer and I had been assigned to his project that week. I called PG and told her I was feeling sick that morning and couldn’t make it. I didn’t think it was a big deal. It turns out that she had bought a new bathing suit just for me, and had stocked a lot of my favorite snacks at the party. I felt miserable, but I couldn’t think of a good way to say “Hey, I’m not sick anymore”. Again, a mutual friend told me later that the pool party was an excuse for her to pull me aside with just the two of us to “talk” while she wore her new two piece bikini.

By the beginning of my senior year I had accepted that my friend was engaged. PG and I still flirted a lot. There was another guy that really wanted to date her, but she had no interest. After missing her party she had totally given up on me but we were still friends. Only now I was starting to realize how stupid I had been for a few years. One day she was watching TV in my room, her sitting between me and the guy she did not want to date on the couch. On the TV a guy was feeling up a girl and the guy in the room asked how could someone just walk up and feel up some random friend of his like that. I stated that I could feel up PG like that if I wanted to and get away with it. The guy rolled his eyes in disbelief. PG was tired of him not getting the hint. “I would let him feel me up,” she stated, indicating me. Now he just looked at the two of us, her now leaning in towards me seductively, batting her eyes. He leaned back on his side of the couch and said there was no way I would do something like that. He was sure that she liked him. So I just reached over and began stroking her breast. She looked at me a little surprised, but did not stop me. She turned and looked at him defiantly. “See, not a problem when he does it.” The guy got upset and stormed out of the room. We both laughed ourselves sick once it was over. He stopped hitting on her.

It was not long after that we went on a real date. My first real date as it happens was with her. I was trying to talk another friend into asking out a guy that she liked, telling her that there was nothing to it. I was lying through my teeth as I had never asked out anyone before. PG happened to walk into the Computer Center office where we were talking and I figured, why the hell not. I asked her if she wanted to go out Friday night. This caught her completely off guard. At first she asked if I was serious, and I said that I was. Then she agreed to it. I didn’t even realize that I had done it and it was real until it was all said and done. That Friday we went out to the nicest Italian Restaurant I could afford (which it turns out I was lucky they accepted Credit Cards), and then just bummed around Fort Wayne for an hour before returning to campus. We didn’t kiss or anything, I just returned her to her room. We never officially dated again. She had moved on, and I was just catching up.

One night she knocked on my door after I had just gotten out of the shower. I had on my towel and that was it. I opened the door to let her in. She asked what I was wearing under the towel and I said nothing. She laughed thinking that I was joking. So I undid the towel and started to get dressed. She was surprised at seeing me naked, and was the only girl in college that saw me naked in person. Another reason we never dated after that was that she told me that I was larger than she had imagined and was afraid that it might hurt too much. This is not me bragging, this is that she is a very petite individual, and very conscious of what will fit into where.

After that was the nude photo project mentioned before. There was also a time when she modeled her underwear for me to take pictures of her. Once was in a black underwear, once in white panties and matching bra, where the panties were thin enough to see her bush. She even had a friend pose with both of them in lingerie once for her friend’s boyfriend at the time.

Then there were the panties. I ordered her a pair of see through panties as a joke. She would never model them for me. She said they were too big, which they may have been. But it did start an interesting part of our relationship. After we had both graduated we still saw each other a lot, which lead to more pictures of her in panties, but that is another story.

Our mutual friend pointed out to me that even though we both cared for each other, our timing has never been right. She told me later that she loved our date, and it was what she had hoped for, but that she knew I was just getting over this other girl that I loved, and she did not want to be my second choice. I can’t blame her for the way anything ever worked out. I will talk more about her later, about what happened after we graduated and what lead to us not talking for over a year (mostly me being an idiot, but I figure anyone keeping up has figured that out about me by now).
College Years, Photography
Posted:Jun 19, 2011 4:43 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2021 5:14 am

My Senior Year of College I took a photography course. I loved photography. I miss using slide film and the great pictures it took. To a lesser degree I still miss 35mm film. Digital has become all too convenient and ultimately affordable as I rarely print pictures anymore. Throughout out college I took pictures of just about everything I could. Even though I had joked about taking people’s pictures when they were naked, I never had a good opportunity to do so.

My photography teacher and I had major differences of opinion in general about my work. He hated my composition in general. He thought I did okay taking pictures of people and some action shots, which we both figured was because I took and arranged pictures for my high school yearbook. But anything I thought was kind of artistic or just generally clever he hated. Ultimately I spent twice as much on film and developing than anyone else in the class to get acceptable pictures for my grades, normally giving into what he wanted.

The final grade was a photo essay on a subject of our choice. At this point I was pulling a low C average in the class largely because of artistic differences. As I figured I was going to barely make it through the class I figured why not do a nude photo project. My idea was simple, in today’s society can a nude figure still be artistic or can it only be pornographic due to the surplus of naked images. Keep in mind that this was in early 2000 and the internet was still this new cool toy where if no one was looking in the computer lab you could search for naughty pictures. As I worked part time in the computer center I had to chase people off of those sites when I noticed them and then hope no one noticed me looking at them at the helpdesk. Not that any of the other techs would have said anything as we all did that, but it was the principal of not getting caught.

The teacher was impressed by my idea and asked if I had models lined up. “”Of course I do” I lied. He told me that there were models in the area that I could hire for $50 a night that came in for the human sketch class. If I had known that nude figures were in that class I would have signed up and took it, though I would have failed as I can’t sketch worth a damn. I also thought that I could barely afford film, and now he wanted me to pay for a model. I assured him that I had people that I had talked to who were willing to do this and went on my way.

So I was at dinner with friends in the café that night and explained the situation to them, asking if any of them were at all interested. This was the plan for the next three days was just to ask if anyone wanted to do this. I needed a minimum of 30 photos to arrange as I saw fit. It could all be the same person, but I wasn’t sure I had that many poses worked out.
When I mentioned it Flashlight Girl instantly said she would do it. We had a digital camera in the computer lab (which again, early 2000, this was high tech at the time). Her and her boyfriend had borrowed it and taken pictures they showed to everyone. And a lot of people had already seen her naked so it worked.

The second person was a friend that I had dated briefly. We parted as friends as we wanted different things. She had taken to stripping part time to pay for college as her parents had cut her off financially to teach her a lesson about dating men they did not like. They liked the idea of her stripping even less. I told her about my project and asked if she was willing. She agreed so long as she got a roll of film doing poses of her own to pick one for the wall of the strip club she was at.

The last girl was a good friend of mine. I am going to call her panty girl for reasons that I will explain in another story. She wanted to date me, I wanted to date her, but never at the same time. We are good friends, but we were typically dating other people at all of the wrong times. She asked who was going to see the pictures. I told her that because of the sensitive nature of this project, the teacher was going to have me deliver my photo essay with just him and his wife instead of the full class audience, which was true. Apparently every year someone did this and it was kept quiet to keep horny guys out of the art department. When she knew not everyone was going to see the pictures she was okay with it so long as she got to see them first and decide which ones could be used and which ones would not be used.

I also had two male friends that were willing to do this, both gay. Both backed out last minute not sure how people would react to them being naked on film. This ruined the plans I had for a variety of poses comparing male and female form in the same pose, but I was able to live with it.

Flashlight Girl went first, which was a good thing. Having seen her naked a number of times there wasn’t really anything new involved, which allowed me to focus on the project. I had sketched some poses, which further proved that the human figure sketch class was way out of my league. Every pose was designed to prove that the subject was naked but to hide and private area. Even though the breast was fully visible, the nipple would somehow be concealed. You would see the curve of the buttocks, but never between the legs. Flashlight girl had long hair, which I used to cover up her breasts in a lot of shots. At the end of the roll I asked her to pose however she wanted, which was a spread eagle shot just for the fun of it.

The Stripper friend of mine was more interesting. This became a party of sorts at my friend’s apartment. He was glad to have a lot of people over and get naked. He was one that backed out of posing himself, but I forgave him. Involved in this was my then girlfriend, the other girl that was going to pose for me at a later time, and the stripper. The three girls spent an hour in the bathroom getting themselves ready, which I could not figure out what they were doing, and full details were never revealed to me. When they came out my girlfriend was in a see though nighty, which meant that I saw her breasts for the first time. Later that night was the first time we shared a bed to sleep together, where we both slept in our underwear and she let me feel her up so long as my hands stayed above the waist. She later moved to California and we parted but she was fully supportive of my photo project, even though she did not want to be in it.

The Stripper wore red lingerie, which we took pictures of for her Strip Club. Then she began pulling it off, and I took more pictures on her roll of film. One of the things they had been doing in the bathroom was applying temporary tattoos. I got pictures of her in every position that you could imagine, and briefly thought about changing my photo project to how pornographic can I make one figure. After we finished her roll of film we took the planned poses I had sketched out. When these pics were developed every one of them was fuzzy and blurry. I later found out that the negatives were fine, but someone screwed up the development process. Clear pictures were made, but not until after the project was done. Of the slide film I used everything was clear, but very dark due to poor lighting. I only had one solid picture of her that was useable.

Panty Girl wanted to do her pictures with no one else around. We had decided on a bathtub setting with bubble bath. She came out of her bedroom in her bathrobe. As the tub was filling she stood next to me while I sat there trying to figure out angles in the small dorm room bathroom. My head was at the level of her crotch. She took a deep breath, reached under her bathrobe and pulled off her panties. She then undid the belt and took off her robe, hanging it on the wall. Even though I had seen the others naked and every inch of them, this friend’s pussy was inches from my nose. She had trimmed very nicely and stepped into the tub and under the bubbles. We took her photos and got some pics of her drying off with the towel in clever spots. She later told me that there were some pics that I could not use as they were too revealing, which disappointed me to no end as they were the better pictures. A year later after we both graduated I took a lot of pic of her in underwear and bathing suits for our mutual enjoyment, and when one of her more recent boyfriends took new nudes of her, she sent them to me to point out that mine were better.

The photo essay went well, impressing my professor and his wife. He did finally admit that my talent lay in portraits. The A on my final pulled my grade up to a B-.
College Years - The Vibrator
Posted:Jun 12, 2011 2:19 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2021 5:14 am

I have always enjoyed playing with my own ass. I would experiment with fingering it as a , and a little in high school, but it was not until college that I decided to buy a toy for myself. Since I had both a Playboy and Penthouse subscription I got mail order catalogues from Adam & Eve. At first I just considered this free porn. Eventually I decided to order some videos.

My favorite type of porn at the time was lesbian pron. But I was very curious about gay male porn too. It did not take long before I ordered a gay porn tape and hid it in my closet (make your own connections as you please). My roommate at the time went home at least one weekend a month leaving me the room to myself. He later came out as gay, and probably would have watched the tape with me. But I wanted to watch it alone. Later I admitted to having the tape, claiming it had been sent to me by accident. But I did watch it and thought that it was interesting but I wasn’t sure if it was for me.

Before much longer I decided that I wanted to try an anal vibrator. There was a porno how to video on starting anal. There was a package that came with the Anal Newcummer toy, a bottle of their Anal Ease lube, and the how to DVD. I decided what the hell and ordered it.

When it arrived it came with everything it said and a how to use a vibrator guide. I figured that was a well duh type of thing but read it anyway. Somewhere in reading this I decided to have some fun at my roommate’s expense. At the time he had not come out as gay and was dating someone. No one knew he had any gay tendencies.

I left the anal vibrator on his bed, with the small bottle of lube, and the vibrator guide open to the anal page. Then I left for class knowing that he was going to get back long before I would. Why did I do it? It seemed funny at the time.
Luckily my roommate found it just as funny as I did. His friend that walked back to the room with him after class found it when she sat down on his bed. She asked him what was this, he looked at it, and admitted to saying “I’m going to kill him” as he realized who left it. He stated that he was never mad, but that he was surprised that I would spend the money on a joke like that.
The anal vibrator became a joke at that point and I had to show it to people that heard the story. Everyone thought it was a great joke at the time. It was almost a month before I got the room to myself and had a chance to try it out. After a first go of it, I almost decided that it was not for me at all. I tried that one again a few times over the year, but never really liked that one.

I did buy another anal toy the next year. That one I liked more as it was a totally different shape and feel. It was long and thin. My open excuse for getting it was Halloween. I had an Alien costume, which was really a long robe which had been my Grim Reaper costume the year before and a cheap Alien mask from Wal-Mart. I bought the anal vibrator to “probe” people. Some people were disgusted, but others in the group thought it was the perfect touch.

I didn’t buy any more anal toys until after I graduated college, and still don’t use them as often as I would like. I still have the need to hide this at home as my wife doesn’t want to know about it, so between cleaning them and myself after use without overtly showing that I am using them, it is sometimes more trouble than it is worth. But those first two let me explore myself a little bit and find out some of what I like.
College Years - Another flashing story
Posted:Jun 8, 2011 4:44 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2021 5:14 am

At one point I was beginning to become known as the porn guy throughout my group of friends. I was also the guy that knew a lot about sex as I was doing research on it. There was a human sexuality class at my college in the sociology department, but it was an advanced class and you practically needed to be in the sociology department to get into that class. It was a way of keeping out horny guys that wanted to talk about sex. As a psychology major I could have talked my way into the class with my advisor’s approval, but thought that I enjoyed researching on my own terms more than I did on a professor’s terms.

When I say that I studied sex I mean that I watched porn from different years, noticing differences in porn filmed in the 70s compared to the late nineties (which a friend took my ideas a further step and used that concept, using porn as the reference, for changes in cultural communication as his senior project in the Communications department). I studied not the sex itself, but how people decided they were going to have sex, which I realize in retrospect was fairly stupid thinking that porn in any way reflected real life. I watched how to videos that were popular back then, as some porn stars who were aging had tapes on how to do anal for the first time, how to perform oral, and other fun topics. I thought those were great as I had no experience at all and wanted to know what I was doing.

I also read a lot. Somewhere I came across Betty Dodson’s Sex for One and have since been hooked on her writings and artwork. I learned a lot about my own sexuality, as well as how others would view their own personal sexuality. This was fascinating to me from a psychology perspective, and I had dozens of theories about how sexual identities were determined, how we label ourselves, what blocks we put in place for our own personal pleasures, and other things. So I was not just a porn junkie, I was actually trying to figure out what made us tick sexually.
One friend asked why I did all of the reading and wanted to know so much. I told him that my goal in life was to see every woman in the world naked with the exception of my mother and grandmother (which I am sad to report that seeing my grandmother naked has happened more than I care for as I was helping to care for her in the hospital last year, she is now fine and doing well, but that is a whole other story in general).

One of my female friends was fascinated that I was fascinated. She always came to me for relationship advice. She wanted to go out with a mutual friend and he hardly noticed her as anything other than a friend. So we talked about what it would take for her to have a relationship with him a lot, and how mad at him she normally was. They are now married with , but she is still mad at him a lot.

I would tease her as I would a lot of other friends of mine. I constantly asked her to flash me, just as the running joke. I also asked my gay male friends to flash me, which they would, and then turn to the girls and ask what was so hard about that. This tactic almost never worked. But this one friend finally told me one day that if I saw her topless once I would never be satisfied with only seeing her once, and would hound her that much more for another look.

Taking this thought into mind I offered her a deal. Let me see her topless once for five minutes, so I could get a good look, and I would never bother her about it again until we both graduated. She thought about this overnight and came back with a counter offer. I could see her topless for five minutes if I never teased her about anything again until we both graduated. I had to really consider this one. Teasing friends is a way that I express love and show that I am actually comfortable with people. I knew that would be very hard for me to accomplish. So after I thought about it for a day I agreed that no teasing would occur until we graduated at the end of that year. We shook on it and made an appointment for her to come to my room after classes.
She came to my room at the appointed time and asked if I was ready. I shrugged, wondering how ready did I have to be to see her take her top off. She giggled nervously and asked how we were going to time this. I had figured the five minutes was just an arbitrary thing, even though I had suggested it. I also never thought it was going to go this far. I told her I wasn’t worried about the five minutes. She said that she was because I was not going to use that as a technicality to tease her later. I hadn’t considered that option until she brought it up, which I must admit I probably would have used if I had thought of it. So we looked at my alarm clock, noted the time, and agreed that five minutes after her breasts were exposed the agreement would be completed.

She was wearing a sweater and pulled it off quickly, revealing a t-shirt under that. She pulled off the t-shirt quickly revealing her bra. She looked at me one last time, considering something for a moment, sighed, and then reached behind her to undo the bra and let it come off.

So we stared at each other for the first minute, not sure what was going to happen next. “See, they aren’t that impressive” she finally said. “I think they look great” I replied. They sagged more than I had expected, and the nipples were not well defined. There were certainly not porn star tits that were all someone’s idea of absolutely perfect. These were real. And they were beautiful.

She sat down still staring at me, and I met her gaze. And we just talked about our day. Nothing overly meaningful, just or normal how are things going talk. We stopped looking at the clock as we laughed and joked. She was topless for over ten minutes before she looked at the clock again and gasped. Then she mockingly gave me a dirty look. “You planned that, distracting me for more time” she insisted. I insisted that I did not and it was her idea to track the time, so I thought she was watching it. We both laughed as she got dressed.

Everyone knew about this arrangement, and I had some friends actively try to sabotage me by setting her up to be teased in some way. I bit my tongue a lot. I even pointed out more than once that I was not allowed to say anything negative about her by way of gentleman’s agreement, which normally got more laughs than if I had actually teased her in some way.

On the day after our last final, and we had a few days before the official graduation, my friends had made the official rule that we had all graduated and that our contract was over. She was now dating her future husband, who was somewhat irked that I had seen her topless. As everyone except for my friend agreed that the contract was over I did tease her again before we all went out to dinner, but I haven’t teased her any since then. When we see each other at the various get togethers my friends hold every so often, we smile, recall old times, and just talk about what is going on like we always did.
College Years - Accidental flashing
Posted:Jun 4, 2011 12:39 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2021 5:14 am

This one is short but sweet. One friend of mine had graduated a year ahead of me. For our winter formal she came back to visit as the official date on a guy that everyone liked but no one would date (not me). She stayed the night on campus, discovering the next day that she had forgotten to pack a spare bra. She had her push up bra for her dress, which she found out that this new one cut into her more than she cared for. So the next day she decided to just not wear one.

She was visiting with me and some friends, and as always the topic turned to sex. It was the girl without a bra, a mutual female friend, and my buddy from across the hall. He was going to college to become a minister, and even though he tolerated the sex talk he never really enjoyed any of it. This of course made it more fun to tease him at the time.

Somehow during our sex talk, I got to saying “so why don’t you just flash me then?” My friend was laughing as just pulled up her top exposing her breasts. He back was to my friend the preacher. Our female friend got a good look at them though. My braless friend turned white, remembering that she had taken of her bra earlier and had it sitting on my bed just to toss it somewhere. She quickly pulled down her shirt apologizing.
My preacher friend started to go off on a mock tirade of how depraved we all were. He thought, as did my friend in the moment before she lifted her shirt, that she still had on the bra or some undershirt. My friend was bright red, and the other female friend was laughing hysterically. As the preacher continued to lecture us on our immorality, I picked up the bra and tossed it to him.

He stopped and looked at the push up strapless bra. Everyone went quiet as he processed this. “You mean, did she, you didn’t” he sputtered. After a few moments he tossed the bra back at her and said “I have to leave now”, quickly exiting. We all burst out laughing and it took us a long time before we could even look at each other without bursting into laughter again.
When I later met her fiancé he quickly asked “are you the one she flashed by accident?” At that point we all laughed again, and this happens almost every time we get together and someone has to mention it.
College years - Naked gaming parties
Posted:Jun 2, 2011 7:38 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2021 5:14 am

If I haven’t mentioned it before, I am a geek. I say this with pride. Geeks rule the world, we just don’t let other people realize it. And, as a true geek, I play Dungeon and Dragons as well as other fantasy roll playing games.
For anyone that has never roll played (and by roll playing I mean Dungeons & Dragons type of games) the best description I have ever heard is that it is Adults playing “let’s pretend” with rules. It is also a chance to be someone else for a few hours with friends. Instead of being the loveable geek that I am, I can instead be the Wise Mage that can cripple armies with powerful magic (which is in turn the ultimate geek in Dungeons and Dragons, so I played to character a lot).
In the original versions of D&D having scantily clad women running around to be rescued was the norm. Somewhere along the line people decided they needed to clean up the game some to get more girls playing (and yes, girls do play). So all of the official books for a long time had almost no mention of sex. I learned in college that we could add all we wanted to, which made more sense as there were in fact girls playing in my group in college. I feel this is important to note, as there have been guys playing girls in these games for years. It is not something new that Warcraft came up with.
In the first year I was playing with this group we were playing on a world that a good friend of mine came up with. I feel sorry for him and all the trouble we gave him. One of our players was dating another player in real life. In the game he was dating another of the female players (for the record we had 4 females playing in this group) (yes, they were real girls). Apparently dating one girl in real life and then having your paladin date the sexy druid in a game causes problems in real life. Especially when the two girls are friends in real life, and then become less than friends as the paladin suggests that his game life is doing better than his real life. But that is their story and not mine.
Amazingly, I even had a hard time getting laid in the game, unless some dominatrix was seducing my wizard. The rules that one of our Dungeon Masters came up with (she was female and had control issues) would make us role will saves to see if we were seduced by this evil black leather wearing villain, and then roll our stamina to see how long we lasted with her (bet some of you never realized the game was that technical). Those were some odd nights, especially as she was trying to set me up to date another girl in the group in real life by forcing our characters to hook up. As I saw how well this was working for the Paladin, I decided to not follow that path at all.
The group evolved over the years. Some people graduated and moved on, others joined the group. Flashlight Girl is a big fan of roll playing and was part of the group early on. There was one night in the game where her character was kidnapped by some monster and stripped down as a sacrifice to some dark demon. She disputed the reality of this happening to her character. She thought the situation was unfair, and she was not going to be the damsel in distress. The game master disagreed and stated that her character was now naked and surrounded by goblins. Flashlight Girl sighed and started pulling off her clothes. The game master stared dumbfounded for a minute. He then asked what she was doing. “Playing my character” she answered, pulling off her bra.
The rest of us were watching with amusement. I had seen her naked before with the flashlight incident. Others had not. Some of the group looked at each other nervously, while others of us leaned in closer. She pulled off her panties and tossed them on the floor. She picked up her notebook and pencil and took her seat. We all waited for a minute to see what the Game Master was going to do next.
As for some background on this Game Master who is now and always will be one of my best friends. He was engaged but it did not work out. He is one of the best people I know, and has a deep sense of honor and nobility. He would never knowingly take advantage of someone in real life. (In the game setting he can be one of the most evil people you have every sent your army against, but in real life he couldn’t hurt a fly.) So here he was, in the middle of this game scenario, with a real life naked girl that everyone else was leering at. She had total control and she knew it. One of the guys asked if he could capture the other girls the same way, which caused some laughter, some nervous from other girls who weren’t sure what to do next, and one thrown pillow. The Game Master thought about this for a minute and then stated “When I said naked, I meant they brought you down to your underwear. You only lost your armor and weapons.”
Flashlight Girl smiled. “I don’t wear anything under my armor.” The Game Master turned bright red. Looking back I do really feel sorry for him. He had totally lost control of the situation, and had no good way to get it back without giving in.
One of the other girls in the party quickly stated “Can’t we rescue her at some point?” This was a valid question as it was the whole point of the encounter in any event. Thinking quickly the Game Master answered “yes, you all just walked into the cavern and find her standing naked surrounded by evil warriors, what do you all do?”
One of my friends reached into his wallet, pulled out some singles and started waving them in the air saying “Woo-hoo!” He had another pillow thrown at him.
One of the other girls jumped into combat which forced the rest of us to jump into combat. Combat is accomplished by rolling dice and calculating your attack vs. the monsters defense. Flashlight Girl accidently dropped her dice on the floor every time and made a grand display of standing up and bending over to pick up her dice. Soon we had killed all of the bad guys, which were amazingly easier to fight than usual. As her character got her armor back, Flashlight Girl put her clothes back on.
There was one other time sex became a big part of the game, and that was on a weekend that I could not attend but the stories were legendary about how almost everyone got naked and the Game master left the room until everyone calmed down and was ready to roll play the game he intended for them to roll play again. That did set the precedent for other naked parties in my room though, which I will write more about later.
College years
Posted:May 31, 2011 7:39 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2021 5:14 am

When I reminisce about my college years, I cannot believe I never got laid.
As I have stated before, I was never the popular type of growing up. Even though I had people in high school I hung out with, looking back I can’t say any were friends I was close to. Only two come to mind, both of which were left behind as I moved on. The people in high school I hung out with were the general misfits that did not belong to any group, thus we migrated together.
And the idea of sex in high school was just that, an idea. At some point I knew that if I wanted to get laid I could. It just meant that I had to flirt with girls I had no interest in, and I figured it would be easy to form a relationship as they were also nerdy outcasts, but they were not what I wanted. The best I ever did was when I got some Playboys and the girl who sat next to me in French class wanted to borrow one. Years later I realized that I could have asked her out, but at the time I was very convinced that no one would ever really care for me being the outsider that I was.
In college I learned that being an outsider was not as bad as it was in high school. After I made real friends I also found out that we were all sexually frustrated to one degree or another. This became very apparent my sophomore year. One friend of mine was in a long term relationship. She eventually married the guy she had been dating in high school and they are still together today with two . This being said, my friend is a freak bursting with sexual energy.
Her high school was more like a college. It was an advanced placement school where the lived on campus like a college. Being a without a lot of parental supervision she had all kinds of stories to tell. A favorite that all the guys liked to hear was about how her roommate at that school was a lesbian, and that even though my friend never went down on the roommate, the roommate did go down on her. There were also stories of fun with markers around body parts. The one that really got interesting was the flashlight story.
My friend and some of her friends were hiking in the woods. It got late and they had to use the flashlight. Someone kept shining a flashlight at her, so she said if they didn’t stop she was going to strip down so the light wouldn’t be in her face. They kept shining the light in her face so she stripped, let her friends get a good look, and then continued on their hike.
After hearing this I would just point a flashlight at her as a joke. I never believed that story was true. Neither did a lot of people. One night there was a group of us in my room and the flashlight story came up again. So I pulled out a flashlight, turned it on, and pointed it at my friend. I was calling her bluff and she knew it. So she sighed and stripped out of everything she was wearing. She then sat talking to us like nothing was out of the ordinary. This was the first time I had seen a girl naked in person. After a few minutes she began to put her clothes back on. The dorm was cold in the winter so it was justified.
She and I never dated, but we did flirt to no end. We both knew that she loved her boyfriend. He knew it to and did not mind her flirting with everyone (both boys and girls). Out of all my friends, they are the only ones that ever admitted to having sex in a group setting once after married. The joke was that they had an orgy and I wasn’t around to take pictures. I will have to explain that in more detail later.
The second guy
Posted:May 28, 2011 11:41 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2015 3:10 pm

I have found that it is much easier to met up with guys than girls here. As thus I have been with more guys.

The first guy I ever had sex with was a total bottom. He had no interest in being a top. As I had no experience in sex with guys I had just figured that you took turns. I had never guessed that there would be times where only one guy would be the one to take it all so to speak. I had only been with him twice, and both times he had no interest in my ass, other than some fingering at my request.

It was almost a year before I actually met with another guy. I had flirted with guys most of that time, but more often than not just decided that I wasn't interested. This guy I had been talking to for a few weeks and enjoyed chatting with him. My wife and I had been on opposite schedules, and sex was non existant for a few months at that point. My wife had a meeting and I had the night off. When he was online I said I was all alone that night, and he invited me over.

He was one part of a couple, two men. So I was expecting both of them to be there. I had talked to both of them and both were interested in me. I was surprised to find only one of them waiting for me. The one guy was working that night.

The guy I met with showed me to the bedroom after talking for a few minutes. We both stripped to our underwear and sat on the bed. He asked what I wanted to do. I told him that I had never been a bottom before and that I was curious.

One thing that seems to be the norm for me is that I am am not a huer person. I am not talking of my penis size, but my general build overall. I always seem to attract men that are taller than me and stronger than me. This guy was both taller and stronger than I was. So he pulled me closer to him. He reached down and pulled off his underwear and looked at mine, which I then pulled off. He began sucking me. I just sat there. I had no idea what I was doing and just kind of waited to be told.

He sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. He grabbed my legs and pulled me across the bed laying me flat on my back. He raised my legs and began to lick my ass. I had no idea he was going to do that. And I loved it. It felt great. I was about ready to cum from that alone.

Then he grabbed some lotion and rubbed it over my ass. He got me into position and began to rub the head of his cock around my ass. "No condom" I squeeked. He looked a littel dissapointed. "Do you need one?" he asked. I shrugged and said that I wanted one. He found one and put it on.

I have a few anal toys, and had played with my ass. I have found that when I use the toys on a regular basis the first few days are difficult retrainign my ass, but I can accomodate the toys easily with practice. At this point I hadn't used my toy in over a month. So when he entered me I felt it. He probably only thrusted for less than a minute bfeore stopping, asking if I was okay. I told him that it did hurt and he pulled out. I wasn't ready for that to happen. He took off the condom and let me finish him off with a hand job. He sucked me off to completion.

I saw him online a few days later and met him in chat. I thanked him for having me over the other night. I then found out I was talking to the partner that had been working the other night. He simply typed that he did not know I was over the other night and logged out. I never heard from either of them again for a few years whe nthe oen I met with caught me one random night in chat. I always wondered if I was a secret afair and never knew it.
What a busy life
Posted:May 22, 2011 8:20 pm
Last Updated:Jun 21, 2011 7:35 pm

Currently I am working two jobs. On the bright side I am still employed and get my bills paid off on time. On the down side this eats a lot of my time. This digs into my social life at every level.

Most of my close friends live down in Indanapolis. As I am up North I don't get the chance to visit and hang out as much as I would like. As my job description keeps changing, my weekends off keep changing. So just having a guys night out to unwind (no inuendo for this, just a night out to relax) takes a week or two of planning to get away, save up gas and food money, and then hope nothing screws it up at the last minute.

When I am not working I am at home with my wife who is not working. Anytime I say that I want to just go out to Wal-Mart, just to get out of the house, she has to come along as she is n't going anywhere while I am working. Again, this is largely a gas money thing as she is not working and doesn't fill her tank very often.

Normally my vacation time each year is spent taking my wife to visit her parents in Pensylvania for a week or two at a time. Considering how well I get along with my in-laws, it is the perfect vacation. I hate it so much that I look forward to returning to work.

This year though is dfferent. I ahve debated if I wanted to post this or not for the past few weeks.

This year, as my jobs have changed so much, I am not going with my wife to visit her parents. She is going by herself as it is not a good idea to request vacation time in the first month of a new job. I could request the time as I am with the same agency I have been with for over ten years now, but as this is a new position and new supervisor, I figured the best option is to not ask for vacation right away. My wife is still going out to visit her parents which gives me a week to myself.

So the question becomes what to do with mysef during that week. I am still working, and my hours vary from day to day, but I do have my evenings free. It is the first time in years where I will have the chance to go out and do anything or anyone I want without having to worry about what time I have to get home or if anyone will notice I am gone.

I have already let some people know I have the week available, and we might meet up, nothing is planned in detail yet. What am I hoping to happen you ask? I don't know yet. The excitement alone is thrilling to me. I will just have to see what happens the first week of July when I am left alone.I will just have to see what happens and who is interested in hanging out.
Self examination
Posted:May 12, 2011 8:06 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2021 5:14 am

So my last two posts were just what some of my personal experiences have been. Some of you may wonder why, as I myself have been wondering the past few days.

As some backround, I have my bachelors degree in Psychology and have worked in the field for over ten years now. As many people will tell you, a person studies psychology to understand themselves better. Tere is a lot of truth to that. Self examination is a regular part of my day.

So I am examining some of my past experiences as I remember them. Any memory of the past is colored by emotion and varied perception. Without getting overly technical, we remember things the way we want to remember them. To some extent I am trying to remember thigns as they happened, but I am also trying to see how these experiences have shaped who I am today.

Part of who I am is bisexual. This is an odd title to have I suppose. I am not 100% gay. I am not a guy that just tried t imagine other guys naked. I do imagine women naked all of the time. A lot of what works with me around guys is that they realy want me, which makes me feel needed. Guys are also very willing to overlook the fact that I am married. It just is not a big deal to every single guy I have ever talked to in here.

Conversely, nearly every woman I have ever talked to doesn't want to be involved in any drama with a married man. In many ways this is discouraging, but I cannot change anyone's perception of me.

And for those of you wondering why I will not post a face pic or share them right away, it is because I work in the healthcare field with people that suffer from mental illness. If any of my past were to find me on here and report me, my career would likely be over. So it is nothing personal when anyone asks, just please be aware that I do enjoy my work, and I have to protect my job. I know some people will say that I am overreacting, but if I am that is my business.
Being the other guy
Posted:May 10, 2011 8:10 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2021 5:14 am

The first time I had sex I was the other guy. It wasn't really planned that way, but there it is. She is a good friend of mine from college, who I still talk to on a regular basis.

Her marriage was not going well. They had gone back and forth with an open marriage, and were back on it being closed as both would get jelous but neither wanted to be faithful. Both she and I were working second shift, and would hang out afte rwe got out of work. Her husband also knew me from college and fully trusted me.

When she would come by after work I was often already in my pajamas. They were an old pair of sweatpants that had holes in the crotch where the stitching had come lose from age. I also did not wear underwear. This was not a big deal for us, as I had taken naked pictures of her for her husband as a gift one year. Somehow that added to his trust of me.

My friend and I had been talking a lot at that point about sex, mostly how I was still a virgin and she was unhappy with her sex life. We had even talked a couple of times about what if we did have sex and what it would do to our relationship. I never thought anything would happen, it was just talk at the time.

Then came a weekend where I was working a lot of overtime. I don't drink or smoke, but I do know sleep deprevation fairly well. At the time I was a supervisor on a 24/7 residential care unit. I had been working 16 hour shifts and was on about 4 hours of sleep in the past three days. I was at that point of being so tired that I could not sleep, as my body seemed to forget how to turn off. That is when she came by to visit.

I was wiped out. I really did want to sleep, but just could not remember how to fall asleep. When she came over we began talking and she mentioned that she had a condom hidden on her someplace. This was not an uncommon boast from her. We plugged in a movie and were sitting there watching it. She had a skirt on and my hand landed on her knee. I was just rubbing her knee while watching the movie. She joke I had better watch how far up it went. I asked what would happen if it did go up farther. She dared me to try it and find out. So I did.

Up to that point, I had taken nude pictures of friends, starting out in an art class in college and got a good reputation for it. My only other girlfriend had slept naked with me and let me suck on her breasts but nothign below the waist. This was my first time ever gettign into a girl's panties. I slid a finger into her panties and began rubbing. My firiend's eyes widened a little in surprise, but she did not stop me. She asked if I liked doing that, and I said it would be easier if she wasn't wearing panties. So she quickly slid them off. After a few more minutes of rubbing, she asked what else I would like to do. I asked if I could go down on her and she told me to go for it.

Now she has always maintained that I did a good job going down on her, but I somehow doubt I wa any good that first time, add into the fact that I was more asleep than awake, now with adreneline and lust keeping me awake. She asked me again what I would liek, and I askedfor a blow job. We switched places on the couch and she went down on me. Before long we were both out of our clothes and trying positions to find one that I liked. She was very kind and understanding, knowing it was my first time.

Oddly I did not cum that time. We went for over 30 minutes but I did not cum. I don't know if it was the condom or the fact that I was so tired. Once we finished she dressed and I saw her out as she had to go home to her husband. I jerked off after she left and then I cam, not really sure what had happened.

I still ahd to work the next day, still sleep deprived and my head full of "I had sex last night". I was pretty much useless at work that day. My friend caught me online the next night, talking about how she could move in with me, bring her along, and I was her knight in shining armor. I freaked a lot and let her know that I loved what happened the previous night, but that I wasn't ready for her to throw away her marriage and settle down with me. We didn't talk again for a week, and then it was along conversation about how I hurt her by not wanting to be with her. I did want to be with her, I just did not want to be the new father of her or the reason she broke up her marriage.

It took a few months but we got back to an understanding. She never told her husband at my request. I felt very guilty about this for a long time, at tiems I still do feel guilty for hurting her. OUr friendship is just an odd one where we have gone through damn near everything together. She is the only one of my friends in real life that knows I had sex with a guy before because we share everything. She and I did have sex again, when her and her husband were talking divorce again. That time went smoother for both of us as we both just wanted each other's comfort. Ultimately she did divorce her husband after threatening for a few years. She is now getting married to a new guy this weekend.

I met the new guy the other day. I got to talk to her for a few minutes alone and asked if there was any chance of this being an open marriage this time around. She says that she is not going to share this guy with anyone. I asked if she was going to have sex with anyone else, and she wouldn't give me a strait answer, she joked about it and danced around the subject.

I love her, but I know that she will never be tied down. She will try it, but eventually she will get bored. I still wish her the best and hope that she can make this marriage work. I owe her a lot, because she was my first and always will be.
Nervous beginnings
Posted:May 5, 2011 7:56 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2021 5:14 am

I have flirted with men online for years. Being a nerd in general, I never beleived anyone could be interested in me. I am not the athletic type at all. I am the skinny nerd type. I was on dating web sites and no one ever gave me a second look. Then I found a sex partner dating site (not this one). I posted a pic on there. I had one female friend on there that I did cam wit ha couple of times, but she lived across the country. They guys I couldn't keep from hitting on me though.

Through college it seemed that half of my friends were gay. My college roomate came out, a good friend that I worked with came out, it seemed to be a popular thing. At the time I was curious, but never induldged at all. I orded a gay pron from a company, and then lied to friends that I didn't know what I was ordering. I ordered an anal vibrator to see if I liked that. So I was curious, but was still more interested in girls at the time. I am still very interested in women, and love sex with women, but I have learned a lot over the years about other things I love.

So back to the sex partner site. I had men hitting on me a lot, which surprised me. In many ways this built up my confidence, there were people out there that actually wanted to be with me, based on my picture. Silly and superficial, I know. But I had never felt like that before. There were people out there that lusted after me, which was new and exciting.

I tlaked to a lot of guys for almost two years. I finally decided to meet one of them in person. We had lunch together, but I decided nothing was going to happen between us. He just was not my type. I felt bad meeting with him and then not doing anything. It was years before I met with anyone else.

In between I lost my virginity at the tender age of 25. After that met my wife and things went well at first. But the curiosity was still there. I still came to sex dating sites (eventually settling in here) and flirted with anyone that would talk to me.

There was one guy that I really enjoyed talking to. He was not pushy or anything. We talked almost daily online for over a month. I finally decided to meet up with him. I told my then fiance that I had to work late that night and met up with him. I decided for myself tha I had to try this at least once in my life and figure out what I wanted.

We had decided to meet at a local bad and then move onto a nearby park that no one ever wetnt to at night. We were going to have sex in his car. We went to the par, and to our mutual surprise, a construction crew was there doing work after 10pm. We went a couple of other parks before we found one that would work. It had a path that went down by the river, and no one could really see anything on our side of the river. On the other side of the river ws a path for hikers tha people used, but we felt comfortable that no one would see us in the thick brush on our side of the river.

The guy I was with told me that he had to pee first, so I stepped away and didn't look, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to or not. He tapped me on the shoulder when he was done and looked at me. He was fully out and gay, and knew what he was doing. I told him that I didn't know what to do and he kissed me. Soon he was feeling under my shirt, so I pulled my shirt off and began feeling under his shirt. He began feeling up my croch, so I felt up his crotch. Whatever he did I did in return, not sure of what else to do.

Soon he undid my zipper and pulled out my cock. I did the same. He wasn't hard yet, but I was. Being bold I was stroking him and pushed my cock against his. He took me into his mouth and I kept looking around, praying that no one would see us. I watched across the river as random people would jog past or walk by. No one seemed to notice us at all. With both of us out of our pants, though he left his shirt on, he handed me the bottle of lube he brought along, trned around, and leaned against the tree. I put on a a condom, lubed it up, and tried to enter him. He needed more lube and applied some more, inserting a finger into his ass. I was hard as ever, but after fucking him for almost 20 minutes I could not cum. I was scared half to death of being seen or discovered. In my head was the though that a cop would stumble onto us and arrest us, at which point I would have to explain everything to everyone in my life.

My friend did cum. After that I fully expected him to bend me over to take my turn, but I did not know at the time he was a total bottom. I was a littel dissapointed that he did not want to drill my ass. He turned and took of my condom, sucking me off to completion. I thanked him and we both went home. The next day I told him I enjoyed it but wasn't sure it was right for me. It took me three weeks to contact him again and try a second time, which was not so public and I enjoyed it much more.

It was months later I found out I had been discovered and somene did see us. I was talking to a friend at work who told me that one night after he got off work (we both worked second shift) he was jogging on the other side of the river and saw two guys having sex right where we had been playing around. I asked if he recognized the two guys, but he sad that it was too far away and he didn't want to see it anyway so he did not look. I have never known if he knew it was me or not.
Where to start...
Posted:May 1, 2011 1:16 pm
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2015 3:09 pm

I don't think anyone gets married and plans to have an afair. Sure, some people get married with the full intention of having an open marriage. There are people that get pressured into marriage for some reason or another and may plan to have some side action down the road. But as you say Ido, the first thought normally isn't "I bet I can nail someone different next week".

As for myself I got married thinking that things were going to work out really well for me. We had a lot in common. We get along real well. We had had sex a few times but she decided that she really wanted to wait until marriage for anything else, and I respected that. After we got married I found that sex was somethign I would have to practically beg for and accept that I would only get it once every couple of months.

Add in the fact that I am attrated to men as well as women, which I tried talkingto my wife about before we got married and she did not want to know anything about that. Yes, I know this should have been a big red flag, but I was young and stupid back then (as opposed to older and hopefully less stupid now). Her exact words at the time were "If you have an afair, I never want to know about it".

So for the first year or so of marriage I tried to make things work. as it stands my wife loves to walk around naked. SHe lets me take pictures of her whenever I want practically. Sex itself seems to be the limit, which she refused to talk about why that is the limit without changing the subject.

So people as me what I am looking for in here. It is a fair question. I don't want to cheat. Afterall, really who does? But a what point do I accept that my needs should be met as well as hers? It may sound selfish that way, but there is the truth of it. My needs are not being met.

After having been a member of this site for a few years, I have met with some people. I may talk about them in here and share experiences. I am trying out this idea of blogging for the first time. I don't know where I am going with this or what I hope to accomplish at this point. I'm not sure what need I am trying to meet with it. Maybe I just need a place to vent where people might understand me.

And yes, I do love my wife, no I am not leaving her despite the sex issue. Why you may justly ask. I can't answer that except for to say that I do love her and when things work well as a whole relationship it is great. Beyond that what else is there to say?

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