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Long Awaited Life Update
Posted:Aug 15, 2021 3:47 pm
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2022 3:17 pm

As usual, if any words or punctuation are missing it's because of the website.

So, It's been about a year since my older brother started living with me. The situation has only gotten worse. It seems like ever since he's come here, he's messed up all of ours and his own life. It's just one thing after another. For example, in the past two months he has gotten into 3 car accidents, totaling 2 cars, and almost killing himself. He's reckless and doesn't know when to stop. The kicker is that he has such a negative reaction to advice that he goes even more extreme if anyone says anything to him. In all honesty, I've given up on trying to help him. I've got one more year and then I'm out- I'm getting away from him and the rest of the family I can't stand anymore.

Moving on. I'm contemplating grad school- actually I'm a little unsure on which type of school I should go to after I graduate. So, about the schools I'm thinking about, two are in China and the other would be law school basically. One of the Chinese schools doesn't require me to be able to speak Mandarin, but the other one does. I haven't thought about which law school to go to yet because I don't really know how law school works- like if I can take a focused path. Any opinions on grad school would be extremely helpful. I've also been looking at internships and jobs to do after graduation so that I'm not completely without a plan.

I've been working out with a trainer each week and paying close attention to my diet. I don't think I've ever felt healthier! I'm actually eating enough! I honestly didn't know how much I should be eating and what amount of things I should be eating so I'm very thankful to him for helping me figure that out. Idk, I'm just very happy with what I've done to become healthier.

Okay, last thing. I'm going to Ireland this fall! It's part of a study abroad program through my school. I'm so excited and blessed to have this opportunity to fly over.

As always, thank you for reading. I really appreciate all the guidance and help you all give me.

With love,
Christmas 2020!
Posted:Dec 28, 2020 6:58 pm
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2020 6:16 pm

As usual, any words removed is the fault of this website being rude.

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas or Hanukkah. I'm actually pretty thankful for covid because I don't like seeing my extended family and dealing with the drama that comes with. This year I had a small celebration with my ma and siblings- I loved that more than any other Christmas I'd had.

The main gifts I got this year were new stuffed animals, a tumbler, notebook, and laundry detergent. I'm really happy with the gifts I got. I also bought myself a harness and new collar as a Christmas present, but it hasn't come in yet. I can't wait show everyone!

My pa had a breakdown Christmas week because his sons don't talk him or contact him. The only who contact him are my sister and I. He's really heartbroken because he doesn't know what do. He also blames my ma for everything.. which sucks for me because I love my ma death. My sister and I decided go out with him on Sunday because he wasn't in a good place, mentally. We helped him feel a little better, but I know he's still not doing his best. I really don't know what more do or how help.

In one of my last posts, I mentioned that I was trying get my pa buy my face oil- that didn't happen. I decided try an oil that's less expensive, but I think I'm going give in and buy the oil I wanted. This new oil isn't working the wonders my last oil was. It also doesn't absorb as easily either. I really wish my oil was easier get and less expensive. Skin care really sucks!

On the 26th, my sister and I decided go on a run- she recently joined her college's CC team and wanted work on her distance. It was supposed be a 2.2 (or so) mile run but she wanted do another look around our block so it turned into a 4.5 mile run. I've been running often these past months so I have no problem running around 5 miles- she wasn't as ready as she thought she was. About ago I never ran so I think that she thought I would be the same as before- out of breath and struggling. I think she was shocked that I was able keep up with her- I was actually the one setting the pace and had slow down so that she could keep up. I usually run minute miles, but I think she wanted go slower than that. I had a great time running with her though. It was nice catch up and talk while running. It made really happy.

Y'all! My birthday is coming up! I'm going be 21! Anyone going get something? Did anyone get me a Christmas present? Don't be shy- maybe I'll leak my school SPC (I'm kidding... unless?)

Also- I've lost my motivation knit so the sweater vest is being put on the back burner.. again- oopsies. Oh!- the pink hat I wear was knit by my ma. I taught her how .
1 comment
Pre-Christmas Christmas Drama
Posted:Dec 22, 2020 9:36 pm
Last Updated:Dec 23, 2020 10:04 pm

Again, if any words are missing it's not my fault. AdultFriendFinder does that sometimes and it's annoying. All I can do is go back and fill them back in.

As y'all know, Christmas is coming in a couple days. I am not planning on attending any Christmas celebrations this year because I don't want get my grandparents sick from covid. One major annoyance with my grandparents are that they love talk shit about family members. For context, my parents are divorced and all four of my grandparents are alive. I'll refer each set of them as R & P and A & J (A & J are also divorced).

Every year there is always a fight over who gets see who on Christmas day. That's usually conflict number one, but this year it's been a bit different- R & P aren't fighting or pressuring anyone celebrate Christmas (thankfully). They actually dropped off gifts and baked goods a couple days ago- so they for sure aren't expecting see my siblings or I for Christmas. R & P's side of the family is handling Christmas the right way. They are concerned about the virus. R & P also live in a pretty desolate area- I live in a hotspot. Not safe at all!! Now then, A & J are being their usual selves when it comes Christmas. It's so unfair what they are trying pull. So, my grandmother wants celebrate on the 26th because that's when my uncle (from AZ) will be flying in. I work a hour shift on the 26th so I'm not going- plain and simple. My grandfather wants have his own little party at a new cabin he purchased on the 27th. I don't want go because of the virus and because I don't like him. He's always been so rude my ma and my siblings. He's trying guilt trip my ma into forcing go by yelling at her (he always resorts yelling at her). One ironic thing is is that he has never been ANY Christmas celebration since I was 9. He had always been abroad or would stay home. He has also never been any other holiday celebration. So how did he come the conclusion that he doesn't have attend but everyone else does?

All I know is that they are going talk shit about all Christmas long
November so far, baby
Posted:Nov 16, 2020 9:31 pm
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2020 10:48 am

Hey, I just wanna write about how November has been going for so far.

If there are any words missing from this post, please know that I have no control over that. AdultFriendFinder does it. I can only retype the words in after they've been deleted.

I've been hitting the gym recently (SIG and my know this). I want work on running faster and longer distances and doing pull-ups. My mile time ranges from - minutes. So far the fastest and longest I've run is 4 miles in 44 minutes. My knees give problems after I do a long run like that so I have rest for a day or between distance day. combat my knees, I use muscle rub, knee braces, muscle roller, etc. My siblings and I have always had knee issues when playing sports so my younger brother thinks it has something do with genetics. An extra thing add on is that I have a genetic mutation that allows tumors grow on the bones of my knees and shins. So, all-in-all, running is difficult for . Now onto pull-ups! I have never been able to do one, and I've always wanted to. Right now, I can do 2 pull-ups with 30lbs of assistance. I'm slowly getting there.

School is almost over for for semester. I have 2 finals and a paper write. I'm not nervous about my finals at all. I've been keeping up with the classwork the entire semester- I'm prepared. I'm nervous about the paper, though. I'm not good at writing papers. I don't like expand on what I write about- I just state something and move on. Oh, and the paper has be 6 pages! I'm so boned!!

I had planned on continuing live at home for the next term of school (my school does trimesters btw), but all of my classes I plan on taking require me be on campus. I'm honestly super upset. I did not plan on paying for room and board this year and now I have . Finances are really going stretched. Also, my owner and I were planning on seeing each other in January. Since I'm going be back on campus I don't know if it's going be possible anymore. We were planning on coming down visit him and going this kink club for my 21st birthday. I really really wanna go, but I don't think I'll be able anymore because of my school's strict covid guidelines. This also means that I have stop working at Taco Bell. There isn't one near campus either. I'm going to be so sad. I'm going to miss Taco Bell.

So, Christmas is coming up. I've made my list of things that I need and want and have figured out who exactly I'm asking to get what. I'm really hoping I can convince my dad buy my expensive skincare products because I'm running low on everything. I'm having my ma get a tumbler from DavidsTea since it's the least expensive thing on my list. I have more on my list, but I don't wanna ruin the mystery.

Okey dokey! This is all I can think about for now. Thank you for reading!
(and hopefully no words were deleted..)
Daddy's weekend visit
Posted:Oct 10, 2020 9:32 pm
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2020 10:11 pm

This past weekend was amazing! As y'all know, my daddy came to visit me. We had been planning his trip since I went to go visit him in July. I'm so happy that he was able to get off work and visit me for a couple days; I really miss him though.. We are tentatively planning on me coming to visit him at his new place in Texas. We're thinking either in December or January, but it depends on if my schooling remains online or if I have to attend classes in person. I'm really hoping that classes remain online because my birthday is in January, and I'd like to go out with my owner and celebrate my 21st birthday with him. I'd like to go to bars and flirt with all the guys there in front of my owner.

I'm really glad that my daddy came to visit because we were finally able to play the way we wanted. By this, I mean, I've always wanted to just be in the moment sitting next to my owner while he watches TV, does work, plays video games, etc. I've always wanted to just be there and be given attention to when my owner wanted - you know, like a pet. We finally had the opportunity to play like that, and it made me very happy. I really love being owned. This one instance during the Packers game. I was watching the game while sitting between his legs. He kept his hand on my head and would play with my hair, lean over and give me kisses, etc.- he never stopped touching me. I was loving every minute of it. It honestly was pretty difficult to pay attention to the game because of how much I enjoyed being touched by him. It was amazing. He also fed me one night! Made me so so happy. Being fed is another type of play that I've wanted to do for a while now. I really do have the best owner I could ever ask for. He's so kind to me.

I'd like to say thank you to everyone who tuned-in to the broadcast my owner and I did Monday night/Tuesday morning. It was our first time, and I was a little nervous. I honestly thought that much more went into camming, but I was wrong. It was super chill and easy- I felt relaxed after a while. We had ~400 views combined from my stream and his. Also, the amount you guys tipped me is incredible! You guys really like me, huh?

If you have any camming suggestions, please, leave a comment. I plan on camming by myself for a while since my daddy is back home and all. I just don't know if doing homework on cam is socially acceptable or not..

Thank you for everything!

Edit: Why the FUCK are the words "to" "me" and "play" being deleted from this post? It's pissing me off!
Life update, baby
Posted:Sep 20, 2020 8:51 pm
Last Updated:Nov 16, 2020 9:37 pm

Okay, I know, I've been gone for quite a while. The last time I was on here, someone was being disrespectful my owner and I. I didn't want deal with that.

I've recently bought myself a new computer. It's a Microsoft Surface Pro. I really like it. It's super cute. The camera here is also really nice quality- which means better for.. you know. Not gunna lie, but I've been looking into being a cam girl. I kind of want to give it a try but I don't know where to look. Plus, I'm really camera shy at times. Anyways, I bought the computer for school because I really needed an upgrade. My old Chromebook was struggling to run and connect to my classes last semester- I didn't think it would make it through the new school year. So far so good!

Speaking of school, the homework I'm assigned for my classes are far below what I thought I would have. I can basically finish up my school work (watching lectures and doing homework) by Wednesday afternoon (after my video class meetings). It's honestly so easy that it's annoying me. All classes that I'm taking are government classes (I'm a Chinese language and government double major for those that don't know). Every past government class I've taken has always been a reading intensive class. I get that the professors don't want overwhelm students with too much class work. but come , I get so bored with how much reading I don't have do. It's strange. Since I have a lot of free time, I've been working more.. and progressing in Candy Crush levels oops.

My home situation has gotten slightly better. My brother has started take the trash out and do the dishes without being told to. The most recent thing that's been annoying , though, is that my ma's intelligence level seems flip when she's around my brother. My mother is super smart. She has her Master's degree in special need education and has passed calculous 3. She is smart! But for some reason, when she's with my brother she asks obvious questions and even asks how do something she already knows how do. We went sushi tonight. She knows what her usual is, she knows what my usual is, but still proceeded to ask what she usually gets, ask my brother what she should get, and act like she doesn't already know how do things by herself. It's so annoying. It honestly ruined my mood completely. I just wanted go home.. I didn't even finish my meal because of how upset my ma's behavior made me feel.

Okay, onto some more good updates. I may be studying abroad in Northern Ireland next year in the fall. I had plans to go to Ireland in the spring on 2021, but I don't see the border opening up anytime soon so I had to take that loss. I'm super excited to go. It's a government orientated program. I really hope I'm able to go next year.

One last thing, I promise. My owner will be traveling up to me in two weeks to visit. He's only going to be up here for 2/3 days, though- which sucks. I wish he could stay longer, but he's going through some major life changes right now so I'm happy with what I got and what he's able to do. He swears that we're going to leave the hotel room and go out to do things, but I'm not too certain about that.

Thank you for reading this. I appreciate all of you that care about my life.
1 comment
Updates on my older brother
Posted:Aug 25, 2020 2:55 pm
Last Updated:Aug 25, 2020 11:37 pm

I really appreciate everyone who read, commented, and even messaged me for updates regarding my living situation with my older brother. You all make me feel so loved. Thank you.

Now for the updates! The situation hasn't gotten any better; it's actually getting a bit worse. My brother constantly drinks coffee. He goes through a large tub of Folgers in a week or a little over. It's absolutely disgusting. Well, he ran out of coffee three days ago and threw a fit because no one bought more coffee when he's the only one who drinks it and would've known that he was running out of it. He yelled at my ma. When she told him that she would run to the store and get some right then and there he flipped script and said things like "no, you don't have to" or "I guess I'll go without coffee for today *sigh*." He complains that no one helps him but then when someone offers to do something for him, he acts like it was never a problem in the first place. It's so freaking annoying!

Today, I had an OBGYN appointment at 8am. I got up at 7 am to get ready- duh. While I was getting ready, he was screaming about something in his room. I didn't care so I didn't go and talk to him. Now, fast forward to around 1 pm when I wake up from passing out after my appointment. He's awake and complaining about everything. He's giving my ma shit for not taking the trash out after throwing some rotten food away the day prior. Someone commented on my last blog talking about how even though I'm a sub, I still need to assert my dominance and not let him bully me or push me around. Trust me, I do not let that happen. I fight- hard. I talk back to my dom sometimes, too. Anyways, I yelled back at him saying that he could've done it and asked him why he didn't. He blew back up at me and yelled "oh, I don't know!" back at me. He didn't even answer me or give a justification for why he chose not to throw it out. (For context, he plays videogames all night.. he keeps me up the nights I don't work with how loud he is.) Now, let's fast forward maybe 30 minutes later. He just got out of the shower. He's knocking things over and yelling. It honestly sounds like he fell. My ma goes and asks if he's alright and if he needs help. He yells at her (for no freaking reason), screaming that he's in so much pain. I yelled back at him saying "how were we supposed to know that you're in so much pain?" and he yelled at me saying that I should've been listening when he yelled at my ma earlier about his foot pain. (For context, I was passed out still.)

My brother has major anger issues. He believes that his anger is justified when he's in pain. He doesn't know how to calmly do about dealing with pain. I got an IUD today at my OBGYN appointment. It hurt so much because I've never experienced menstrual cramping before. How did I deal with the pain? I breathed, I cried out in pain when necessary. That's it. It's the same way I deal with any pain I encounter. I can't come to understand how he comes to believe that his way of showing emotion (let's be honest- anger is the only emotion he has) is through anger and lashing out at everyone.

I have more to talk about, but I'll leave it at this for now. Thank you to anyone who reads this and gives me advice. I do plan on moving out eventually, but that can only happen once I'm finished with college. Plus, there's more drama and complication to come along with that..

This post got denied and I don't know why.. apparently there are hate, , or weapons in this post.
1 comment
My older brother is back home..
Posted:Aug 12, 2020 6:16 pm
Last Updated:Dec 26, 2021 1:20 pm

So! I live at home with my family. Usually, it's just my younger brother, my ma, and I, but yesterday my older brother called my ma and told her that he was on his way up.. to stay for good or until he finds a job and can support himself. I am SO pissed. He doesn't know how to take a joke or even vibe. He has severe anger issues and occasionally punches walls. He gets angry with me for the news sources I pay attention to. He gets angry with me because I enjoy knitting/crocheting and joke about how "housewife material" I am because I enjoy cooking and cleaning the dishes. My only means of escape from him are when I go to work.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. He's turned the house into a mess. (side note: I'm also the only one who cleans the house and regularly vacuums.) There is trash everywhere! He's even turned my cat's play area into a trash pile/ storage area. (side note: she got her revenge [@anonymous_guy_99 lol] by puking all around his stuff).

I'd go out more to get away from him, but my bank account cannot handle that so I guess I'm stuck for now.
Birthday gift ideas
Posted:Jul 27, 2020 2:46 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2020 8:26 am

My daddy's birthday is coming up very soon and I wanna get him something special, but I don't know what. Any suggestions would be so helpful!

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