Conexões, Encontre Sexo ou Conheça Alguém Sensual Agora

gatosedutor2018 30 H
3  Artigos
posiçao   10/3/2019

qual a posição mais pedidas por vcs mulheres


0 Comentários, 5 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.12 Pontuação
a alegria   22/3/2018

a alegria contgia sem cara feia


0 Comentários, 2 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,1.10 Pontuação
iraduu 43 H
5  Artigos
brincadeiras   16/6/2016

estamos no dia de fúria por todos os lados, nada melhor que ter uma companheira , parceira, aceite como vc e sem cobranças para não atrapalhar a harmonia.brincar amar pode ate brigar mais nada que uma boa namora para colocar o trem no trilho.


0 Comentários, 6 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
desembolo 37 H
13  Artigos
bom humor   14/3/2016

O bom humor em um relacionamento é essencial. Por que? Por que quando há uma desavença uma das duas partes tem que ceder; de uma forma ou de outra. Por isto; sempre quem cede é o lado mais bem humorado em uma relação. Na maioria das vezes um relacionamento é constituído de uma pessoa mais séria e reservada e outra mais acessível e bem humorada. Mas não se preocupe; isto tudo faz parte ...


1 Comentários, 6 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.12 Pontuação
BBWcarente 46 M
18  Artigos
Quando o tamanho não satisfaz   20/2/2015

Como tudo tem o 8 e o 80, existem também os paus minúsculos: finos e pequenos, não tem jeito, coitados… O problema do pau pequeno é que, diferentemente do pau médio, grande ou gigante, que ficam mais visíveis na calça quando excitados, o pequeno pode enganar muitas mulheres. Você pode achar que, porque não há volume, ele ainda não está em ponto de bala. E daí dá uma chance ao ...


2 Comentários, 28 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,4.07 Pontuação
fcpierna 62 H
9  Artigos
eles andam juntos   9/1/2015

amar é compartilhar momentos, e também deve ser descontraído com bastante humor e sair fora da rotina


0 Comentários, 2 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.81 Pontuação
rafaelzaccan 38 H
1  Artigo
O senso de humor e o sexo   30/8/2014

Quando uma pessoa, homem ou mulher, mantém sempre a expressão facial rígida, negativa e mal-humorada, é comum que os outros digam que o problema é falta de sexo ou sexo ruim. Ligar a insatisfação sexual ou a falta de sexo ao mau-humor é comum no mundo todo. Mas será que faz sentido?

Sem dúvida, há uma relação direta entre o bom humor e a boa sexualidade. A satisfação ...


0 Comentários, 9 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.73 Pontuação
fisicophd 44 H
1  Artigo
Doce mel do desejo   25/3/2014

Desde de que recebi o flerte da linda doce mel do desejo venho pensando em uma maneira de me comunicar com mel sou usuário standard e não consigo mandar msg ou chamá-la parassem minha amiga isso estava me deixando doido aí pensei em escrever esse artigo


0 Comentários, 12 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.12 Pontuação
Leonardoquerxota 33 H
11  Artigos
Casal de elhinhos   18/6/2012

Um casal de vihinhos que moravam em um sitio, estavam sentados na varando, de frente para um galinheiro, onde um galo começa a comer todas a galinhas, até que a senhora olha pro marido e diz. - Oia que galo bom, bem que ce podia ser igual. O velhinho olha pra ela e responde. - Variando assim, até eu....


0 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,3.63 Pontuação
rm_LeoMiguinho 32 H
9  Artigos
E ela correu   18/11/2011

Recentemente, quando eu era mais novo, +- 12 anos de idade, estava com uma e meu irmão, pouco mais velho estava com sua namorada também, estavamos passando em frente de minha casa, o que a minha menina que estava comigo não sabia, minha mãe saiu de dentro da casa, meu irmão apresentou sua namorada e eu quando fui apresentar a minha... adivinha... Ela tinha saido correndo e já estava quase ...


1 Comentários, 46 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,2.80 Pontuação
carton50 66 C
1  Artigo
Morte horrivel   3/8/2011

São Pedro editou novas regras para se entrar no ceu;So poderia entrar quem no dia da morte tivesse passado por situações horriveis. Mal acaba de publicar as regras chega um jovem e São Pedro pergunta-lhe de que havia morrido, responde-lhe: De infarto.Cheguei em casa, e encontrei minha mulher enrrolada em uma toalha e toda nervosa.Descofiado procurei por todo o apartamento, e sem encontrar ...


3 Comentários, 60 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,3.35 Pontuação
mulher5309 63 M
36  Artigos
Na mesma moeda.   11/4/2011

De manhã, o marido acorda, vira-se para a mulher, dá um beliscão na bunda dela e diz: -Se vc fizesse exercícios para firmar a bundinha, poderíamos nos livrar dessas calcinhas. A mulher procura manter o controle e ficar em silêncio, para evitar discussão. No dia seguinte, o marido acorda, dá um beliscão nos seios dela e diz: -Se você conseguisse firmar essas tetinhas, poderíamos nos ...


5 Comentários, 76 Visualizações, 20 Votos ,4.40 Pontuação
waltinho10022 44 H
8  Artigos
BOEMIO EXPERTO   13/8/2009

Numa noite sem o que fazer, troquei de roupa e fui à uma casa noturna, onde os frequentadores eram da da terceira indade.O rítmo era de boemia, que por sinal gosto(bolero, tango, salsa).Pedi um vinho e logo percebi uma linda mulher à me olhar.Era morena cabelos negros compridos lisos como seda, olhos catanhos sedutores.Dá minha mesa ofereci o ...


0 Comentários, 30 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,1.96 Pontuação
extremjapansex 35 H
1  Artigo
sexo   10/7/2009

uma estava dentro do meu carro fazerndo sexo com minha namorada toda aquela concentraçao o envolvimento corporal quando de repente eu olho pro lado e tem um casal de senhores olhando !!!na hora eu liguei o carro pelado mesmo e sai fora!



Se isso acontecer com voce o que voce faria????...


3 Comentários, 85 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,2.78 Pontuação
pautorto1000 51 H
31  Artigos
O QUE PROCURAMOS NESTE SITE...   13/1/2009

Num site como este podemos encontrar varias formas de relacionamento! Não somente o sexo em si...mas amigos, pessoas para conversarmos, trocar ideias, um ombro amigo e assim vai! Objetivos a parte...como andam as coisas para o lado de voces?


2 Comentários, 36 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,4.57 Pontuação
waltinho10022 44 H
8  Artigos
APROVEITANDO O NATAL   18/12/2008

Natal � dia de re�nir a fam�lia, amigos e festejar.Trocar presentes, abra�os, beijar, tudo na maior confraterniza��o.Comer, beber, dan�ar etc... N�o � pecado nenhum comer um belo lombo torniado, claro ou moreno, lisinho.Pegar esse lombo, abra�a-lo, lambe-lo, chupa-lo todo e desfrutar de seu sabor, cheiro e sensualidade.Melhor dizendo, pode nesta data, tamb�m uma bela ...


0 Comentários, 19 Visualizações, 0 Votos
bowdy2001 52 H
2  Artigos
Now what do I do?   5/6/2008

In comparing myself to a second hand BMW, I've now been been shined and polished, and Have recently returned form the garage with my engine tuned and some minor repairs to the bodywork.... So vroom here I go. I will no longer be intimidated by the shiny new Ferraris in the show room I'm ready to go for it!!!..... well almost.

I have sifted through the e-mails and winks and kisses. ...


0 Comentários, 34 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.92 Pontuação
rm_Ananda02 66 M
1  Artigo
O que uma mulher escreve e o que o homem lê   31/10/2007

Repondendo a algumas questões na revista, me deparei com uma dificuldade que parece ser muito frequente:

"O que uma mulher escreve e o que o homem que "lê" entende o que ela quer dizer"

Uma queixa comum é mais ou menos assim: "Voce nao leu o que eu escrevi". A pessoa jura que "leu", mas na verdade nao leu ou nao (quis) entender.

A pessoa lê uma mensagem de alguem ...


1 Comentários, 53 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,5.59 Pontuação
1Brazilianguy2u 56 H
20  Artigos
NOSTRADAMOS PROFETISOU SOBRE O BRASIL   29/5/2006

-FIM DOS TEMPOS - Profecias de Nostradamus Em suas Centúrias, Nostradamus escreveu com tanta exatidão que nos faz acreditar que conhecia o Lula. Fragmento de um texto de Nostradamus: ..."e próximo do terceiro milênio uma besta barbuda descerá triunfante sobre um condado do hemisfério sul (BRASI - espalhando desgraça e a miséria ." ("reforma da ...


4 Comentários, 3250 Visualizações, 356 Votos ,6.55 Pontuação
1Brazilianguy2u 56 H
20  Artigos
O ATRASO DO TREM...( primo do Jaozonho)   29/5/2006

A mãe estava na cozinha enquanto o filhinho, de 9 anos, brincar com o novo trem elétrico na sala. Ela escutou o trem parar, e seu disse aos bonequinhos:
" - Todos os filhos da que querem desembarcar, saiam desta porra de trem agora, porque essa é a última porra de parada! E todos os filhos da que estavam voltando e desejam entrar na porra deste trem, coloquem suas bundas ...


0 Comentários, 96 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.43 Pontuação
1Brazilianguy2u 56 H
20  Artigos
VOCE SABIA???   29/5/2006

NOVIDADES DO LIMÃO
Cientistas japoneses garantem que espremer um pouco de sumo de limão dentro da vagina antes do sexo pode matar os espermatozóides, tornando-se um contraceptivo barato e simples. Assim, como somos brasileiros, juntando o útil ao agradável, sugerimos a seguinte receita: Adicione um pouco de açúcar, gelo e pinga na hora da relação sexual e, ...


1 Comentários, 306 Visualizações, 31 Votos ,6.88 Pontuação
1Brazilianguy2u 56 H
20  Artigos
AS FASES DO RELACIONAMENTO (FLERT ATÉ CASAMENTO)   13/5/2006

(Luis Fernando Veríssimo)
FLERTE
Quando ela é toda sorriso, você, cheio de nove-horas e gentilezas, fica naquela conversa mole por mais de 10 minutos, ri de qualquer merda que ela fala, e quando ela anda, você crava os olhos naquele belo traseiro, imaginando... Isto é um flerte. Este relacionamento só tem vantagens. Você a chama para sair, é super ...


0 Comentários, 31 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,1.10 Pontuação
1Brazilianguy2u 56 H
20  Artigos
AS FASES DO RELACIONAMENTO (FLERT ATE CASAMENTO)   13/5/2006

(Luis Fernando Veríssimo)
FLERTE
Quando ela é toda sorriso, você, cheio de nove-horas e gentilezas, fica naquela conversa mole por mais de 10 minutos, ri de qualquer merda que ela fala, e quando ela anda, você crava os olhos naquele belo traseiro, imaginando... Isto é um flerte. Este relacionamento só tem vantagens. Você a chama para sair, é super ...


0 Comentários, 23 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.94 Pontuação
1Brazilianguy2u 56 H
20  Artigos
ONE DAY HUNTER OTHER DAY PREYER   13/5/2006

One Man Writes: I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I've never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually ...


0 Comentários, 14 Visualizações, 0 Votos
1Brazilianguy2u 56 H
20  Artigos
INTREVISTA DE TRABALHO   25/4/2006

Um sujeito está em uma entrevista para emprego.
O psicólogo dirige-se ao candidato e diz: Vou lhe aplicar o teste
final para sua admissão.
Perfeito, diz o candidato.
Aí o psicólogo pergunta: Você está em uma estrada escura e vê ao
longe dois faróis emparelhados vindo em sua direção. O que você acha
que é? ...


0 Comentários, 75 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.47 Pontuação
rm_M_Fogosa 53 M
5  Artigos
"nossa busca de cada dia"   18/3/2006

Nossa busca de cada dia está cada vez mais escassa... Buscamos amor... Buscamos carinho... Buscamos amizade... Buscamos prazer... Buscamos saúde... Buscamos realizações... E nesta busca por infinitos valores... encontramos a fé... Esta que nos dá a luz para seguirmos por um caminho desconhecido... Vamos ...a luz nos guiará.......


2 Comentários, 251 Visualizações, 21 Votos ,5.85 Pontuação
genesis262 41 H
1  Artigo
pos-sexual   24/1/2005

conheco hoje em dia varias pessoas que tem relacoes so por terem so por uma noite ha ocasioes em que os seus relacionamentos nao chegam a durar 24h quero deixar aqui uma questao sera que devido a esta rotina uma destas pessoas mesmo que um dia encontre um parceiro(a)chega a amar verdadeiramente??


0 Comentários, 333 Visualizações, 24 Votos ,1.08 Pontuação
NoMuddyShoes 49 M
4  Artigos
Clean up on aisle 9, please   31/1/2020

I have a friend has granted me permission to share her story. No, this is not code for me to be able to talk about myself without you knowing it, but an actual friend. If you’ve kept up with any of my blogs or writings, you know my life is an open book, so there would be no need for me to hide behind “a friend.” Let’s her “Grace.” Anyway… Grace has come to a in her life where ...


0 Comentários, 30 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.81 Pontuação
Cutehouguy 39 H
1  Artigo‚ Pontuação 1.3
The Sound of Incognito   28/1/2020

Hello incognito, my old friend I've come to do bad things again Stealth mode on while I'm creeping Releasing seeds if you catch my meaning And the visions that are planted in brain Still remain but not in web browser after I close out and delete all history just in case <br><br> In office I wasn't alone Nearly caught me on phone 'Neath desk fingers cramp And I think ...


1 Comentários, 9 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.47 Pontuação
tripod2014 49 H
13  Artigos‚ Pontuação 0.2
It's all about the points....   26/1/2020

It's all about the ....It's all about the ....It's all about the ....It's all about the ....It's all about the ....It's all about the ....


1 Comentários, 7 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,4.80 Pontuação
NoMuddyShoes 49 M
4  Artigos
Mirror Mirror   19/1/2020

Jacqueline’s breath caught in her throat as Raef pulled her tight his chest. With his arms wrapped tightly around her, she looked into his eyes and saw them sparkle with the reflection of the stars. His lips were soft against her ear as he leaned down and whispered… <br><br> Okay—Okay—I…I’m sorry. I just can't do this. <br><br> LOL! <br><br> ...


0 Comentários, 32 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,3.65 Pontuação
NoMuddyShoes 49 M
4  Artigos
Dinner is Served   8/1/2020

I had an odd (?) thought today, while masturbating. At least, I think it may have been odd? I’m not sure. Here, I’ll just tell you and you can make up your own mind. Cool? Let’s proceed… Sex is kind of like a candle. When you first ignite the spark, it’s hot and heavy. I mean, that shit is on! I’m thinking most of us understand and have experienced aforementioned hotness, so there’s ...


6 Comentários, 91 Visualizações, 28 Votos ,4.47 Pontuação
goodplay696 32 H
1  Artigo
i am not funnin in a relationship   3/1/2020

Just need to get some Points so I am adding something here.


0 Comentários, 10 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,3.00 Pontuação
Wayneb51823 42 H
5  Artigos
Funny   3/1/2020

Funny more points


1 Comentários, 8 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,4.12 Pontuação
NoMuddyShoes 49 M
4  Artigos
Your Seat Can Also Be Used as a Flotation Device   1/1/2020

I was in my mid forties, contently married for 14 years and KNEW life was perfect! <br><br> ME: Life is perfect! <br><br> LIFE: Wanna bet? <br><br> Details are not important... Him~ my sister~Our couch in our house~Fucking~Done and divorced. <br><br> What the fuck was I supposed to do now? OH, right! Date! <br><br> I knew there was no ...


2 Comentários, 50 Visualizações, 17 Votos ,4.12 Pontuação
TucsonBoneAlone 53 H
34  Artigos
Santa Porn   26/12/2019

"Ahh, now for the real life part, " Santa smiled, as Brenda and Sally repositioned themselves. In real life, when it's not porn for men to jack off to, Lesbian sex is a far more beautiful thing and less of a spectator sport. Sally laid back, and Brenda gently slipped her fingers into Sally, turned her wrist just the way she knew, and started the orgasm inducing fingering that worked ...


0 Comentários, 26 Visualizações, 18 Votos ,2.31 Pontuação
Coolhungdude 33 H
4  Artigos
Ahh youth   22/12/2019

So I like cumming on a womans tits or even her and of course Im more in tune with the idea when the partner in question wants it. Oh but what about a time when you lacked experience and aim...Like hitting a womam right in the eye they they are even near your . IE a shot arced back enough land in her eye when we were laying side by side after lol ahh youth


2 Comentários, 33 Visualizações, 19 Votos ,4.05 Pontuação
Blowjob hickies   15/12/2019

I'm very partial receiving oral. Sometimes some people get a little carried away and when I get home I notice the head of dick is all bloodshot. I was telling friend about this problem and he started calling them dickies. Does anyone else run into this and what do you call it?


2 Comentários, 34 Visualizações, 27 Votos ,3.77 Pontuação
How well do you know each other :)   13/12/2019

Son: Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn’t know his wife he marries her. <br><br> Father: Son, that’s true everywhere.


2 Comentários, 33 Visualizações, 17 Votos ,2.98 Pontuação
slidenride069 44 H
3  Artigos
bi   29/11/2019

to bi or not to bi , bye


2 Comentários, 28 Visualizações, 19 Votos ,1.67 Pontuação
Daddi19915076 29 H
3  Artigos
Funny   10/10/2019

If its easy take it twice


4 Comentários, 68 Visualizações, 55 Votos ,1.86 Pontuação
AngloSwiss_CH 72 H
2  Artigos
In the family way   4/10/2019

This is the story of a young lawyer who always spent his summer vacation at the same place by the sea. He always went to the same boarding house because the daughter of the hotel looked good enough to eat. Naturally, as the lawyer was handsome and with the summer heat helping, the two young people quickly went from feelings to actions. The next year, the lawyer found his sweetheart, and was ...


5 Comentários, 109 Visualizações, 55 Votos ,3.28 Pontuação
Bigdeemikeh2 32 H
9  Artigos
Living by the three F's.   29/9/2019

If it floats, flys or fucks. Rent it don't buy it. Anyone else live by this?


5 Comentários, 54 Visualizações, 45 Votos ,2.36 Pontuação
Eatitupnbeatit44 33 H
10  Artigos
Try to have fun   23/9/2019

Keep your woman happy n always eat her pussy before you fuck her


7 Comentários, 91 Visualizações, 61 Votos ,3.94 Pontuação
And what do points make...   21/9/2019

Prizes


1 Comentários, 52 Visualizações, 37 Votos ,2.81 Pontuação
Pullmytrigger55 49 H
12  Artigos
Free bonus   18/9/2019

I remember AdultFriendFinder use to give u credits or 40 day gold or something


2 Comentários, 72 Visualizações, 55 Votos ,2.73 Pontuação
Mugz6988 40 H
7  Artigos
fun is good   28/8/2019

Nigel and Stephen, are keen fishermen and wine drinkers; here you can see a photo taken while they are enjoying some night fishing while on holiday, with their wives, in Poitou-Charente, France, last year. <br><br> Slurping a large Bordeaux Supérieur, Nigel announces, 'I think I'm going to divorce my wife, she hasn't spoken to me in eighteen months.' ...


4 Comentários, 93 Visualizações, 57 Votos ,2.56 Pontuação
sonrising54 55 H
9  Artigos
Blind Date   24/8/2019

I had a blind date once. A friend of mine asked take his g/f's sister. I agreed. So I went her place get her. When she opened the door she was 5ft tall and weighed about 350lbs. I thought okay. So we went a nice restaurant. After sitting down she looked at the menu intently. I thought okay. Then she said can I pick what I want. I said sure. She ordered 3 complete meals. The waiter ...


2 Comentários, 111 Visualizações, 54 Votos ,3.35 Pontuação
SexOnMyMindWithU 46 H
3  Artigos
Was hoping to get caught and did! Now I smile :-)   19/8/2019

So the other night my lady friend and I had a pit fire and got drunk at her place at her farm. I had an idea to pop my tent that night at her place. So that is what I did before we started to drink and pit fire. Many times before her and I have done this and we end up naked enjoying each other before the night ended. So as the night went on we both got really drunk and had one hell of a good ...


6 Comentários, 126 Visualizações, 62 Votos ,2.93 Pontuação
MagicalHungDevil 27 H
2  Artigos
booty   7/8/2019

o booty how I chase thee I only did this for my points yee I don't want to trespass I just want to fuck that ass good people i love you with that said throu


1 Comentários, 30 Visualizações, 25 Votos ,2.47 Pontuação
kissableleo66 67 H
6  Artigos
Me too   27/7/2019

Everyone is here for the points.


2 Comentários, 37 Visualizações, 27 Votos ,4.29 Pontuação
rdhair44 61 H
95  Artigos
Peter at the gate.   21/6/2019

comes to gates of Heaven telling Peter about her husband and their yard, Peter tells her you didn't need a man , you needed a bull , you are a milking cow.


3 Comentários, 65 Visualizações, 35 Votos ,2.01 Pontuação
Summernites88 43 C
7  Artigos
Loosen up   10/6/2019

Getting ready for a meet...loosen up. Remember your here for fun. Although keeping our nerves in check is not easy. So lighten up and have the most fun imaginable.


10 Comentários, 138 Visualizações, 86 Votos ,5.03 Pontuação
dess36 49 H
155  Artigos‚ Pontuação 2.7
I like   29/5/2019

I like to do it in public places, but of morbid people ho like to look, to me as you can see in my photos, I love it...


6 Comentários, 74 Visualizações, 22 Votos ,1.57 Pontuação
MRS Smith   3/5/2019

The doctor called Mrs Smith and her husband answered The doctor said mister Smith I thunk we got your wife's test result mixed with the wrong Mrs Smith 's not good What can we do The doctor said one Mrs Smith has dementcha and the other has syphilis .So hears what you can do to help us take your wife to the edge of town and drop her off. If she comes back home DONT fuck her


0 Comentários, 49 Visualizações, 31 Votos ,2.18 Pontuação
BoyFreaky22 25 H
3  Artigos
Said "No Thank You"   8/4/2019

One night, drinking at my friends, I decided to invite a girl friend over to partake. As the night went on, and her drooling over me, things started to die down and get quiet. Just as the room got silent, my girl friend leaned over and yelled "LET'S FUCK". Me being shy, politely said "No thank you". The next week, the same girl friend called me up and asked me if I would ...


2 Comentários, 111 Visualizações, 49 Votos ,3.57 Pontuação
Fully_Loaded_100 31 H
6  Artigos
What's the funniest thing that's happened to you during sex?   7/4/2019

I once broke the bed right before climax.. went right through it!


0 Comentários, 65 Visualizações, 38 Votos ,3.24 Pontuação
Sex Stories   23/3/2019

"Most people can probably agree sex is pretty great—at least, until something gross and unexpected happens and totally kills the mood. If you look back, you can probably think of at least a few scenarios where something disgusting happened in bed—something that, if you weren't pants-less, would have you running for the door at lightning speed. <br><br> For your ...


2 Comentários, 72 Visualizações, 42 Votos ,1.93 Pontuação
Alakabam92 27 H
9  Artigos
Points   17/2/2019

Just here for the points


7 Comentários, 88 Visualizações, 57 Votos ,4.96 Pontuação
man4nightfun2 50 H
4  Artigos
mothers   9/1/2019

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. <br><br> The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked ...


2 Comentários, 127 Visualizações, 49 Votos ,3.43 Pontuação
man4nightfun2 50 H
4  Artigos
mothers   9/1/2019

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. <br><br> The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked ...


5 Comentários, 74 Visualizações, 37 Votos ,2.81 Pontuação
man4nightfun2 50 H
4  Artigos
meet you in heaven   9/1/2019

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her — “Hello” “How are you! We’ve been waiting for ...


3 Comentários, 79 Visualizações, 31 Votos ,3.53 Pontuação
man4nightfun2 50 H
4  Artigos
meet you in heaven   9/1/2019

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her — “Hello” “How are you! We’ve been waiting for ...


1 Comentários, 42 Visualizações, 23 Votos ,3.60 Pontuação
6ft3intallBBC 26 H
4  Artigos
sex   6/1/2019

https://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/understanding-your-sex-drive-when-one-you-wants-it-more?context=healthcenter/60&context_title=60&context_description=


1 Comentários, 31 Visualizações, 20 Votos ,0.70 Pontuação
MrInkyArms 44 H
2  Artigos
In a perfect world   27/11/2018

Orgies!


3 Comentários, 44 Visualizações, 34 Votos ,2.07 Pontuação
trellos4u2 33 H
9  Artigos
wtf   5/10/2018

for fun or not


4 Comentários, 60 Visualizações, 44 Votos ,3.46 Pontuação
LongerDongSilvrs 33 H
1  Artigo
asdfkfsdk;fa;   29/8/2018

lmdfgagf


1 Comentários, 46 Visualizações, 42 Votos ,2.70 Pontuação
UncutLVRJulio 31 H
5  Artigos
Relationship Clichés: What They Really Mean   5/7/2018

Regardless of who you date, no matter how long the relationship lasts; chances are you’ll hear some (if not all) of these favorites. Here’s what they really mean. <br><br> “Sometimes the person you want the most is the person you are best without.” I like you but we DO NOT get along. <br><br> “Everything is going to be OK. Maybe not now or ...


7 Comentários, 185 Visualizações, 96 Votos ,5.15 Pontuação
lookn4yu2day 68 H
18  Artigos
It's ALL Good!   28/6/2018

In a relationship? Is it a permanent marriage type? Serious one such as being engaged? Starting one as in just getting to know each other? <br><br> No matter the status of the relationship.... ya gotta keep all in perspective. Nothing.... there should be nothing too serious so as to not be able to communicate about and keep things "light." There is a need to ...


1 Comentários, 58 Visualizações, 44 Votos ,3.23 Pontuação
I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call   4/5/2018

I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata ...


0 Comentários, 50 Visualizações, 41 Votos ,1.28 Pontuação
seriously ,that is considered bisexual ? I am wondering.   18/4/2018

Bisexual seems like a simple term that is easy to understand. But , is it really that simple to declare some a bisexual? Does having participated in a 3 way with another of the same sex make some a bisexual? Does intimate contact with the same sex define the sexuality , or is it the intent of the parties involved. I get a lot of men that want to give oral sex, but If I accept , am I now a ...


9 Comentários, 120 Visualizações, 43 Votos ,4.22 Pontuação
flicker3210 31 H
4  Artigos
Chewing (Dick) Gum   11/4/2018

I was very young at that time, still in my teens. I was dating a girl and we agreed to a blowjob before moving onto actual sex. She was giving me a nice head and I was enjoying thoroughly as this was the first time I was receiving . She, at the same time was chewing a gum. When she took out my dick from her mouth there was this white substance on its head. She was feeling apologetic that she had ...


1 Comentários, 107 Visualizações, 52 Votos ,3.35 Pontuação
Hangry33 50 H
2  Artigos
How many dick pics should i post   14/3/2018

What is the ratio regular pics to dic picks that I should have ... like 3 regular pics to 1 dic pic or 3 dic pics to one regular pic <br><br> Also should I use my own dic ? Or a random dic on the internet ? Or a celebrity dic ? <br><br> Just trying to get it right !


3 Comentários, 63 Visualizações, 37 Votos ,3.66 Pontuação
SparePrickBH 59 H
7  Artigos
My friend's antics with crab potion   3/2/2018

This is an old tale but still makes me laugh when I'm reminded of it. <br><br> We were in our 20's and enjoying life as young lads do, including one drunken weekend of partying which included sharing a girl who kindly thanked us with a dose of crabs. <br><br> Apparently, he knew his previous landlady had a bottle of the cure and I drove him over to collect it. ...


0 Comentários, 99 Visualizações, 49 Votos ,4.11 Pontuação
msheidileann 39 M
1  Artigo
How would you feel if you had a fart sucked right. out of your butt?   15/12/2017

It has been some time since the incident, but I remember it like it just happened today and I am still in shock. <br><br> We were being hosted at a nicer Motel 6 than I had seen ever, it had to be a new construction. Be mindful that my fiance and I are still relatively new to the swing of things and myself even brand new. The whole idea of fucking other men in front of my fiance, ...


12 Comentários, 251 Visualizações, 97 Votos ,5.02 Pontuação
DOM_Mann80 39 H
6  Artigos
Does humor has priority for you in a relationship ?   17/11/2017

Does humor has priority for you in a relationship ?


3 Comentários, 52 Visualizações, 36 Votos ,5.31 Pontuação
Me enamora ...   26/10/2017

Me enamora la gente que dice lo que piensa y que realmente piensa lo que dice <br><br> . Que no es fácil. La que defiende sus ideas y sus emociones, porque son suyas y sinceras. <br><br> Pero sin imponerlas a los demás, sin juzgar a quien piensa diferente <br><br> y sin compararse con quien no las comparte.


2 Comentários, 21 Visualizações, 18 Votos ,2.99 Pontuação
slicmike 31 H
1  Artigo
AWKWARD SITUATION   19/9/2017

I was with my chick at a bar when we met up with her ex husband's friend with his chick. I said hello to him and he said, 'Hey, ya gotta big dick?" I laughed at first and sat down. <br><br> He was one of those egotistical dudes that think there on top of the world because he has tattoos, motorcycle, and a good paying job. He looked like Ray Liotta from ...


4 Comentários, 113 Visualizações, 26 Votos ,3.67 Pontuação
jr42468 52 H
24  Artigos
you have to be funny   13/9/2017

i think that all relationships have to have a good sense of humor it lightens the mood sometimes when tensions are high


2 Comentários, 37 Visualizações, 17 Votos ,3.97 Pontuação
stevong 41 H
3  Artigos
Wolf of Pig   20/8/2017

[image1] The Three Little Pigs Once upon a time there were three little pigs. When they grew up, they left their parents to live their first winter by themselves. Autumn came and it began raining. The three little pigs started to feel they needed a real house to live in. They talked about how to build a house and prepare for the coming winter, but each decided ...


3 Comentários, 72 Visualizações, 20 Votos ,4.02 Pontuação
freedom   14/8/2017

commitment = loss of freedom lol!!!


0 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 18 Votos ,5.44 Pontuação
freedom   4/7/2017

freedom compromises after commitment


0 Comentários, 8 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.08 Pontuação
Porn Is a Crucial Part of My Relationship   20/5/2017

I love porn. I'm not embarrassed to say it. I'm not picky about where I watch it. Sometimes I watch it in bed while my boyfriend's at home. Other times I watch it on our couch when I need a break from my three jobs and he is still at work. And my taste runs the gamut, though I tend to veer towards watching public sex and threesomes.

Oh, and maybe you caught this: I have a boyfriend. ...


1 Comentários, 69 Visualizações, 17 Votos ,4.12 Pontuação
NaughtyNights125 30 H
1  Artigo
People who do not understand other people   30/4/2017

So I work with this guy who decided the best way for him to find the girl of his dreams is to try to meet someone, from another country, online. He had a picture of this girl he was talking to and was so happy... Only problem was when he showed me it was a picture of a pornstar. Aside from this she also claimed to be in South Africa, yeah that country known for being terrible, and needed money ...


2 Comentários, 57 Visualizações, 17 Votos ,2.84 Pontuação
Magdalena69n 40 M
1  Artigo
Love Line   2/4/2017

Love line with Adam needs to come back so bad...guys you need to listen.


6 Comentários, 74 Visualizações, 42 Votos ,2.62 Pontuação
Married or Single   25/3/2017

I was wondering what type of situation most women prefer here. When one is involved, do you prefer to find someone else who is also in a relationship or is preferable to find a single man. What do the single women here prefer. I like a drama free situation with someone fun and outgoing, but I am single and keep my options open.


5 Comentários, 57 Visualizações, 22 Votos ,4.57 Pontuação
autopalm77 47 H
7  Artigos
Haaaaachu....!!!!   17/11/2016

A woman constantly keeps sneezing and goes to see the doctor. She tells him, "Doctor, I constantly keep sneezing, and every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The doctor asks, "What are you doing for it?" The woman replies, "Sniffing pepper."


6 Comentários, 89 Visualizações, 28 Votos ,4.78 Pontuação
MsCarlalee 57 T
9  Artigos
who can you trust   8/11/2016

Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under ...


6 Comentários, 270 Visualizações, 26 Votos ,5.94 Pontuação
rm_BIGYODAG2 65 H
24  Artigos
Drunk   30/9/2016

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town! Great Pussy!"

Everyone expects a fight, but the younger dude ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.

Ten minutes later, the old drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and ...


3 Comentários, 130 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,4.10 Pontuação
BBCheadlover 50 H
2  Artigos
false advertisment   21/9/2016

so awhile back i met a lady on AdultFriendFinder and what caught my attention was that she said she loved to work out, but more importantly (at least for me lol) she loved giving head. so after a few weeks of getting to know each other, we were chatting one friday night. she had a date that was running late or maybe just blowing her off. i was home bored and jokely said if you need some replacement dick, i'm ...


5 Comentários, 226 Visualizações, 21 Votos ,4.12 Pontuação
nicelifej 33 H
3  Artigos
.zdfgjkldfklhb   4/9/2016

respect is the most important value in the relationship


1 Comentários, 14 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,3.08 Pontuação
luv2liku698 59 H
1  Artigo
Tires made of pussy   21/8/2016

We were having a discussion at the bar one afternoon. This girl said, "If tires were made of pussy they would never wear out!". I told her that it wouldn't work. The whole world would then smell like fish!!


2 Comentários, 56 Visualizações, 16 Votos ,3.27 Pontuação
BrightBlueEyes80 35 H
5  Artigos
Why do people always say things that arent?   2/8/2016

Why do girls always say they dont want anything serious, then all of a sudden they want something serious? Why not just be straight up?


2 Comentários, 37 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,4.10 Pontuação
wittyhumor 41 H
37  Artigos
The Fickle Times We Live In.....   15/4/2016

"Nevermind what's being said to you! Then maybe you could learn to fuck better!"

That's what I said to her as I came in her mouth after, a less than par blowjob.....

"Didn't you learn anything from those porn flicks that you keep in your closet?!!"

I had asked her that before, and she hates it every time. She then says to me, that, she thought I loved her, and she ...


3 Comentários, 95 Visualizações, 13 Votos ,0.46 Pontuação
wittyhumor 41 H
37  Artigos
The case of my missing twix bars....   15/4/2016

The first time in total, and in my hands I left a little bit of a mess.....

It was just then, when, she was going through my emails that i have sent here and there.....

So, I said to her that it was just all in good fun, and yes I do online sex often....

She's so cute, and sweet, as well as, A's on my report card....

Yeah, it was not able to make a difference ...


0 Comentários, 52 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,2.36 Pontuação
UZIoSUICIDE 50 H
27  Artigos
Lessor of two evils   11/3/2016

"So let me get this straight, " the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct, " says the defendant. "At which time, " continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her." "That's correct, " says the defendant. "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and the man ...


1 Comentários, 224 Visualizações, 24 Votos ,4.95 Pontuação
UZIoSUICIDE 50 H
27  Artigos
Make her scream...   11/3/2016

Hey guys... I figured out how you can make your girlfriend or wife or whatever scream during sex.. It's super easy and it works every time... All ya gotta do.. While you are having sex take your phone... and call your girl and tell her about it...


5 Comentários, 112 Visualizações, 17 Votos ,4.68 Pontuação
UZIoSUICIDE 50 H
27  Artigos
WINNER WINNER WINNER   11/3/2016

So, a man asks his wife "If I won the lottery, what would you do?" His wife says, "Take half and leave you" The man smiles and says, "Good cuz I won 12 bux from the lottery today, heres 6 now get out"


0 Comentários, 49 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,4.66 Pontuação
sexxxcrzd 33 C
9  Artigos
Look how sexy my wife is...   6/2/2016

...That is all.

-Sexxxcrzd(m)


11 Comentários, 174 Visualizações, 26 Votos ,5.61 Pontuação
jeweler47 73 H
8  Artigos
seems like my friend is horny when he describes a Hostees cupcake   1/2/2016

We wre talking about a hostess cupcake and he gave me a review. This is what he wrote and below is the minor changes I made to it

Yes I did Not forget it...Now for my review. Cream center made by Hostess is second to none. The consistency of the white icing was perfect...not mushy, but firm. Overall the taste was terrific. Now I will have to buy them and keep them as part of my ...


0 Comentários, 55 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,3.39 Pontuação
wickedcat2006 45 M
145  Artigos
the vagina!!!   31/1/2016

The best engine in the world is the Vagina. It can be started with one finger, It is self lubricating, It takes any size piston, And it changes it's own oil every four weeks. It is only a pity that the management system is so fucking temperamental.....


6 Comentários, 120 Visualizações, 41 Votos ,7.16 Pontuação
...No love? Watch this!   5/1/2016

I once had a girl named Lorrie Who saw me as nugatory. Once bedded her friend and that was the end. Hers was one tough love story.


0 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
rm_Nikkicandie1 26 C
0  Artigos
its funny now not s much then   6/12/2015

nikki an myself was in bed and she says she has to pee.okay I thought get up and go like any sane person would do.well she for some reason got the idea to act like she was a dog and omg she pissed on me!!and I don't mean just a lil I mean straight full blast peed lol then says she was marking what belongs to her lol I couldn't be mad after that bc it was so funny and sweet at the same time yet ...


5 Comentários, 98 Visualizações, 21 Votos ,2.14 Pontuação
mrryan74 45 H
5  Artigos
wife joke   30/10/2015

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't ...


15 Comentários, 450 Visualizações, 41 Votos ,6.76 Pontuação
mrryan74 45 H
5  Artigos
BBQ time   30/10/2015

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"


5 Comentários, 222 Visualizações, 22 Votos ,5.77 Pontuação
rm_NOPoet30 67 H
47  Artigos
Always use condoms?   29/10/2015

Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low, as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] & little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't use condoms. Mostly, I get ...


2 Comentários, 88 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,1.86 Pontuação
rm_NOPoet30 67 H
47  Artigos
Always use condoms?   29/10/2015

Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low, as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] & little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't use condoms. Mostly, I get ...


2 Comentários, 46 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,4.12 Pontuação
rm_BIGYODAG2 65 H
24  Artigos
ANOTHER POEM FOR THE MAG -= SAD, FUNNY & LAME   22/8/2015

LAMO

We met in a chat room General conversation Things get hot & heavy She is coming over for sex. ‘Can’t see you till after work Be there by 8 AM my dear.’

She had sent a photo From the neck to her waist To whet my appetite I guess She was lovely, bare big breasted.

Troubled sleep – toss & turn Big Yoda is throbbing My mind is in a whirl Putting a face & name ...


2 Comentários, 76 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,3.25 Pontuação
Satyr48 71 H
8  Artigos
Karma   20/8/2015

Two former female neighbors met in the Afterlife, after both suffering untimely deaths. Being surprised to see each other, they asked how they me their fates. One woman said she froze to death. "Oh, my goodness!" the other replied, "that's terrible" "Well; not SO bad" the other replied, "After a while the cold went away, and I drifted off into a warm sleep" The second woman said she died of a ...


1 Comentários, 235 Visualizações, 26 Votos ,5.40 Pontuação
wittyhumor 41 H
37  Artigos
I Forget Stuff Sometimes   15/8/2015

I looked up at my ceiling the other day and as I was laying there I saw what I thought to be a sliver of paint on it. I didn't pay it any attention but I noticed that it had some limbs. So obviously it's a bug. I grab the bug spray and down it goes. I quickly picked it up off the floor and flush it in the toilet. Moments later i get a knock at the door. So I quickly answer the door as I am ...


0 Comentários, 217 Visualizações, 13 Votos ,2.64 Pontuação
hinj1 35 M
17  Artigos
Some truth but mostly for laughs   13/8/2015

Can you relate this to any one you know

Where or when did you men loose your touch when it comes to getting a piece of ass. Why do you think it will be just given to you? Oh it's a sex site and your Eros. It may work on few women. Yes she will meet you at the door naked and beg you to take her. Good for you. It should not cramp your life and be over in 10 min. She was so thankful. REALLY ...


2 Comentários, 139 Visualizações, 24 Votos ,5.52 Pontuação
MsCarlalee 57 T
9  Artigos
The Successful Son   3/8/2015

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them went to the 1st tee while the other went to to the club house to pay the bill. The three men started bragging on their sons. The first man said "My son is a successful home builder. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. The second man said "My son is such a good car salesman that he know owns a multi-line dealership. And ...


4 Comentários, 228 Visualizações, 17 Votos ,5.67 Pontuação
Otis_Good 67 H
17  Artigos‚ Pontuação 0.7
Listen up   15/7/2015

I was talking to my ex one day after sex and asked who is the best lover you ever had ? I was feeling pretty sure she was going to say me after the fancy fuck I just gave her but no . Yap yap yap she went on and on . I kind of stoped listening until I heard . And in the shower Rose said you might as well wash my back and ass a deal is a deal . What ? What deal ? I asked . Rose my second roommate ...


1 Comentários, 300 Visualizações, 15 Votos ,2.52 Pontuação
wickedcat2006 45 M
145  Artigos
gossipers!!!   15/6/2015

Mildred, the church gossiper and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused a new member, Henry, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of ...


4 Comentários, 243 Visualizações, 39 Votos ,6.82 Pontuação
suryareddy004 20 H
1  Artigo
my first romance   28/5/2015

haii friends, this is my real experience in my life.once my Aunty's daughter came to my house for spend her holidays.she was very beautiful and sexy.I loved her so much.one day night do small fighting between she and her mom.then she get nervous feeling. and she come to my bed beside of me.then time is gone.then I put my hand at her PUSSY.then she shifted her face beside of my face, and she give ...


0 Comentários, 120 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,2.28 Pontuação
1HORNYOLDBUGGER2 54 H
3  Artigos
Having sex with The King! Thank you.. Thank you very much...   15/4/2015

I have always found ways to make a girl bust up laughing; while we have sex.. Creative singing is one them.. I have a knack for turning something innocent; into something naughty..... For instance.. I heard an Elvis song while driving to a date. Latter when we were ready for a romp, I sang my dirty version. It went like this: Are you lonesome tonight?... ...


2 Comentários, 94 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,4.66 Pontuação
dh1313h 35 H
3  Artigos
For Fun   15/3/2015

A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she ...


3 Comentários, 244 Visualizações, 20 Votos ,4.53 Pontuação
Kycre8iveman 57 H
0  Artigos
My Date From Hell!   18/2/2015

Written by: KyCre8iveGuy

NOW THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ, MAY SEEM TOTALLY WEIRD AND COMPLETELY CRAZY…BUT HAND OVER MY HEART…IT’S THE COMPLETE TRUTH!!

I met a young lady on a Transgendered website. She was 35-years-old, had long blonde, beautiful hair and the face and body of a Goddess. We chatted for a while on the website and through personal emails. Eventually, we ...


7 Comentários, 297 Visualizações, 39 Votos ,4.62 Pontuação
rm_canwechat1 72 H
1  Artigo
IRONY   13/1/2015

Isn't it Ironic that this page is blank, can one surmise from that that there is nothing funny about sex? from my experience it can't be so, many a gut splitting laugh has come out of the absurd situation we sometimes find ourselves in in the pursuit of sex.


0 Comentários, 35 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,3.01 Pontuação
HBandito 50 H
3  Artigos
She's a spitter!!!   24/12/2014

One day me and a couple of girls I used to work with were sitting in a training area at work. This place was towards the far back of the building so it got little traffic and only two trainers were assigned to the area. The main trainer was gone for awhile so the other a good friend of mine was the other. The other woman was ten years older then us but liked hanging out with us because we partied ...


2 Comentários, 335 Visualizações, 24 Votos ,4.27 Pontuação
SingleNFree31 46 H
10  Artigos
Romantic   2/12/2014

"I could stay awake just to hear you breathing...Watch you smile while you're sleeping..." Aerosmith = Romantic Me = Restraining Order


2 Comentários, 44 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,2.59 Pontuação
maximil_power 33 H
1  Artigo
A Realization After Sex   13/11/2014

So the encounter began as hot and passionate as ever! She started unbuttoning my shirt, but had to raise her arms so I could throw HER shirt off! She must have thought, forget the buttons, and tried to pull mine over my head too!

We were tearing each other's clothes off like they were on fire!

She went for my belt, I went for her bra, and after struggling like I was trying to ...


3 Comentários, 230 Visualizações, 18 Votos ,3.26 Pontuação
rm_goodsxwithu 55 C
10  Artigos
Funny   12/11/2014

Have you ever gotten rug burns from having sex on a carpet? There's nothing funny about it the next morning.


14 Comentários, 133 Visualizações, 29 Votos ,5.25 Pontuação
kimdan4fun 37 C
10  Artigos
Testimonials   7/11/2014

If you get one do you always allow it to show up on your profile or do you sometimes hide them?


4 Comentários, 67 Visualizações, 14 Votos ,3.30 Pontuação
prettyinpink838 36 C
6  Artigos
Going   31/10/2014

Funny how the longer you know someone the more you get use to seeing them going to the bathroom and how little it matters.


9 Comentários, 126 Visualizações, 24 Votos ,6.20 Pontuação
rm_3xthefun99 50 C
4  Artigos
Humor   21/10/2014

We think it's really funny how many guys want us to watch them jerk off on cam. Do they really think that's what people on here want to see? Oh and just an added note for those of you that think a woman is watching you on all those couple profiles. It isn't.


8 Comentários, 90 Visualizações, 19 Votos ,4.44 Pontuação
nosinglemenever 29 M
5  Artigos
Funny?   15/10/2014

If you write me and ask to fuck, suck or perform any other sex act with you before we've had a chance to chat first then I'll know you're just being funny.


5 Comentários, 108 Visualizações, 25 Votos ,6.56 Pontuação
Lost_Cause_69 51 H
6  Artigos
Hard Liquor...   20/9/2014

Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing the boyfriends they’ve had in the last year. One girl says "The last 3 boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve named after soda pops. The first one i called 7up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. The second one i called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do. The third i called Jack Daniels." ...


3 Comentários, 278 Visualizações, 25 Votos ,6.67 Pontuação
Lost_Cause_69 51 H
6  Artigos
Lunch would be ready......   15/9/2014

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?" Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet-dreams...and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the works. He covers a ...


2 Comentários, 246 Visualizações, 21 Votos ,6.84 Pontuação
Lost_Cause_69 51 H
6  Artigos
Three kinds of each...   6/9/2014

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions." "Onions?" the son asks. "Yes. You see them and they make you ...


3 Comentários, 157 Visualizações, 20 Votos ,4.91 Pontuação
sadako2l 39 M
4  Artigos
Lesbian joke #69   4/9/2014

What do you call a can of tuna on a lesbian's coffee table?



Potpourri


2 Comentários, 87 Visualizações, 19 Votos ,3.26 Pontuação
Memorable moments   17/8/2014

Do you have anything happen that was so funny you will never forget that moment?


1 Comentários, 40 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,2.79 Pontuação
vazzaam1 37 H
7  Artigos
bar joke   19/7/2014

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."

The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!" ...


7 Comentários, 342 Visualizações, 24 Votos ,6.65 Pontuação
GGnCerb 51 C
1  Artigo
Joke...   27/6/2014

How do you know you just had a good blow job?

- When she gives you a blow job she sucks the sheets up your ass.

Now how do you know the woman that just gave you that blow job is a good girl?

- She pulls the sheets back out for you.


4 Comentários, 88 Visualizações, 25 Votos ,3.91 Pontuação
SIR   30/4/2014



A


1 Comentários, 59 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,1.66 Pontuação
thislustfulmind 42 H
28  Artigos
Fun Facts about the Great Vagina   28/4/2014

Fun Facts about the Great Vagina


5 Comentários, 260 Visualizações, 26 Votos ,7.02 Pontuação
thislustfulmind 42 H
28  Artigos
Interesting facts about the Penis   28/4/2014

Interesting facts about the Penis


4 Comentários, 177 Visualizações, 24 Votos ,7.33 Pontuação
rm_rituraj510 28 H
12  Artigos
Getting rid of Ex   4/4/2014

An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you hate the most.” The explorer says, “That’s gotta be my ex-wife. Why?” “I am a cursed genie. I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish ...


2 Comentários, 284 Visualizações, 17 Votos ,5.39 Pontuação
rm_rituraj510 28 H
12  Artigos
how are people born?   4/4/2014

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was ...


3 Comentários, 171 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,4.85 Pontuação
Islandman209 47 H
6  Artigos
what women would do if they had a penis for a day   4/3/2014

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch yourself in public ...


3 Comentários, 87 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,5.04 Pontuação
Islandman209 47 H
6  Artigos
WHAT MEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A VAGINA FOR A DAY   4/3/2014

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing ...


2 Comentários, 63 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,4.82 Pontuação
Islandman209 47 H
6  Artigos
25 Secrets Girls Have To Know About Guys   4/3/2014

. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual ...


1 Comentários, 68 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.86 Pontuação
Islandman209 47 H
6  Artigos
long distance   23/2/2014

How To Have A Long Distance Relationship VideoJug is here to help if geography is getting in the way of you and your loved one. Follow our guide on how to have a long distance relationship, and keep your relationship alive despite where you are in the world.



Step 1: Talk it through

You need to discuss your expectations of the relationship once you are apart, and set ...


0 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
LIKESTOLICKMOORE 46 H
23  Artigos
If You Use Handcuffs, Always Keep a Spare Key Handy   1/2/2014

I've even got a better idea, make sure you have one key on a string, around your wrist before you play, and have a spare on your key ring.

The reason? My two best friends, Ted and Bobbi and I play around quite a bit. Sometimes I go to their house for MFM threesome, sometimes they come over to my house to have a mfmf party with Debbie and me.

And sometimes, Ted and Bobbi just get ...


1 Comentários, 172 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,4.64 Pontuação
hysteroyster 33 M
2  Artigos
Foodie   27/1/2014

Urban Dictionary defines foodie as: a douchebag who likes food; though the terms "gastronome" and "epicure" define the same thing.

I don't remember being an asshole due to my foodism, I have however perceived others as such when my desire for certain foods or eateries were denied.

...which I guess does indeed make me a douchebag.

But who could resist the succulent steak ...


0 Comentários, 41 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,2.78 Pontuação
annie444u 52 C
135  Artigos
What Annie didn't tell you..............   23/1/2014

....was that before she rolled the damn can of Crème of Mushroom soup perfectly under my right foot was:

1. the fact that we have wood floors and they had just been polished.

2. I was wearing socks, not shoes at the time of impact.

3. She had just opened the cupboard above me slamming me in the head with the bottom corner of the oak cabinet

4. That ...


3 Comentários, 101 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,3.19 Pontuação
annie444u 52 C
135  Artigos
Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen Ruin the Meal (er, uh, ruin one's head)   23/1/2014

My husband Danny is an excellent chef. If it can be grilled, he can grille it like no one's ever grilled meat before. If it can be broiled, he can broil it to perfection. He can bake, fry, you name it.

However, sometimes we'll have guests coming over for a big dinner and he needs help in the kitchen....that's where I come in...or at least I used to.

He gave me a list of ...


4 Comentários, 156 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,4.06 Pontuação
solidsingh2 29 H
6  Artigos
SPECIAL YESTERDAY BUT UNWANTED TODAY   30/11/2013

DO U KNOW WHAT HURTS THE MOST.........?

ITS WHEN SOMEONE MADE U FEEL VERY VERY SPECIAL YESTERDAY....................................................................................................................................................BUT....................................................................................MADE U FEEL THAT U R THE MOST UNWANTED PERSON TODAY.....!! ...


1 Comentários, 58 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.47 Pontuação
jaipurcouple1979 41 C
3  Artigos
Glitter and Sparkles   1/10/2013



I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any ...



3 Comentários, 278 Visualizações, 15 Votos ,5.73 Pontuação
jaipurcouple1979 41 C
3  Artigos
Glitter and Sparkles   1/10/2013



I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any ...



2 Comentários, 100 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,4.80 Pontuação
TomRakewell 31 H
10  Artigos
Flakes.   18/9/2013

Tell your funniest flake story!


0 Comentários, 55 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,1.94 Pontuação
Badtrev 40 H
9  Artigos
On being discreet...   9/9/2013

I cannot speak for everyone, but in the case of my wife and I discretion is an absolute non-negotiable must. Her work is sensitive to anything that may be conveyed as "alternative" and my work is very publicly oriented where I talk to hundreds of different people a week. On top of that we're also involved in the community and have a lot of friends who might not be ready to understand. So we ...


2 Comentários, 161 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,3.21 Pontuação
LTSwing69 51 C
2  Artigos
Greener Grass   7/9/2013

Being that my husband was born and raised his whole life here in this small County He is pretty well known and knows most other locals that have been born and raised here. Its safe to say that when we meet new people If its through a mutual friend , they have already been pre warned or pre schooled that we are freaks. They don't know what to expect and though they all at one time or another ...


3 Comentários, 283 Visualizações, 15 Votos ,3.28 Pontuação
bostonguy27yo 32 H
1  Artigo
Ever Fart by accident while getting blowjob?   11/8/2013

haha


1 Comentários, 64 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,1.37 Pontuação
OneMikeHancho 38 H
2  Artigos
Say it isn't so!   26/7/2013

A hysterical woman came into the ER. She'd just had a fight with her boyfriend while sitting in his parked car. She said she had gotten so mad at him that she pulled the key out of the ignition and put it in her vagina so he couldn't drive home! Now she couldn't locate the key to get it out. I couldn't find it either, so we concluded that it must have fallen out ...


3 Comentários, 363 Visualizações, 13 Votos ,2.81 Pontuação
OneMikeHancho 38 H
2  Artigos
Maybe you?   26/7/2013

"One night, a gurney rolled in carrying a woman in black lingerie-who happened to be straddling a naked man. They told us that they had been doing a lot of drugs and having wild sex when the woman's vagina cramped up and the guy couldn't pull out. The doctor on duty gave her muscle relaxants, and after several minutes, they were able to separate. Then they were promptly ...


2 Comentários, 323 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,4.58 Pontuação
annie444u 52 C
135  Artigos
I want to know why the sexually frustrated, sexually depraved women go for my Danny   16/3/2013

Are there any other guys out there that get hit on by divorced, sexually depraved, sexually frustrated women like my Danny does.

I swear the boy must have the record for banging girls that are divorced and who haven't had sex with anyone since they split with their husbands.

Danny can relate story after story to me about how these women, many of them cougars, seduce him and, ...


2 Comentários, 354 Visualizações, 22 Votos ,3.49 Pontuação
annie444u 52 C
135  Artigos
Using One Friend to Make Another Girl Jealous, I Instead Made Them Into Lovers   2/2/2013

Sometimes our best ideas become our worst nightmares.....

Sometimes what seems like a good idea one minute comes back to bite us in the ass the very next second.

By using Diane, my best bi-sexual friend and lover to get Katie jealous, I instead turned them into lovers.

Katie never really left Earl, she remained married to him for years, but Katie made love to Diane ...


1 Comentários, 269 Visualizações, 20 Votos ,4.66 Pontuação
Funny only now, many years later   11/8/2012

I'm in college and pick out this good looking freshman during orientation.

That night I'm munching away on a her and suddenly get a string in my mouth.

Yep, you guessed it.

So I stop, grab a quick, long swig from the beer bottle and ask her if she's on the the rag.

Comes out no boyfriend had ever eating her before and she didn't realize there was anything ...


4 Comentários, 273 Visualizações, 12 Votos ,3.51 Pontuação
dnafun11 45 C
15  Artigos
Who knew...   5/7/2012

When we got active in swinging we knew that there could be some drama involved. We do a pretty good job of avoiding it.

We expected it to come from the ladies. I mean speaking as a lady myself, I know that more than a few of the fairer sex seem to need a certain level of drama. And lets face facts we have all seen the couples where she swings to keep her man happy but is not really into ...


1 Comentários, 304 Visualizações, 17 Votos ,3.27 Pontuação
c6love 32 H
26  Artigos
humor   3/7/2012

so has anyone been farted on during sex. not a sex fart but an actual fart. it has happened to me numerous times. i almost burst out in laughter each time. is this normal for girls to fart during sex


9 Comentários, 130 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.45 Pontuação
nobody328 26 H
23  Artigos
IMPORTANT   30/5/2012

HUMOR IN RELATIONSHIP IS IMPORTANT AND ADVISABLE


3 Comentários, 55 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.08 Pontuação
rcoachv1 44 H
1  Artigo
swinger or swingers   15/3/2012

here is some food for thought if you and your partner are active swingers , but this time you do your own thing(have sex with another swinger couple) without your partner. do they have the right to be upset about it


3 Comentários, 144 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.45 Pontuação
Dirty_Pinguin 32 H
3  Artigos
Humor and Attraction : who likes jokers ??   24/2/2012

Have you heard the one about the relationship scientist who walks into a bar with a journal under one arm and a duck under the other? Never mind...it wasn’t very funny to begin with. If that's the only joke you know, will your lackluster sense of humor hurt you when it comes to attracting a romantic partner? It turns out that the use and importance of humor differs between men and women in ...


1 Comentários, 35 Visualizações, 1 Votos
nvrgetsenuf 50 M
11  Artigos
First Date Fuck-Ups, episode 2   7/2/2012

I met Jose (not his real name, to protect the guilty), while I was pumping gas & he was cleaning the canopy over the gas pumps. He would splash a little water to make me think it had started sprinkling. He did this twice before I looked up to see him. He then asked if I would like to go to a movie Friday. He was very good looking so I answered yes. He told me where his second job is, what time he ...


2 Comentários, 523 Visualizações, 24 Votos ,4.61 Pontuação
rm_sexspice40 49 M
6  Artigos
april fool   30/1/2012

you walk into a room and find your lover and your best friend under the sheets both naked. when they see you, they both scream april fool. you look at the calender and realise its april 1st. what would you do.


4 Comentários, 371 Visualizações, 15 Votos ,3.28 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Ed the Chicken !   4/1/2012

Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'

Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a ...


4 Comentários, 372 Visualizações, 16 Votos ,3.42 Pontuação
rm_Toyboyj624 26 H
11  Artigos
Laughter in bed   17/11/2011

Sex is the major component of a relationship and so aslong as you maintain it you maintain your relationship.alot of humour can be brought out of sex if you look deep enuf, your partners body is a store of humour that you can use, just make a sexy seductive joke abouts yours or their body and see how fast the laughter will lead you two to the bedroom.have some naughty humour in your relationship ...


0 Comentários, 63 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
kinkycplincanon 49 C
5  Artigos
her,or so she says   9/10/2011

watching wife having her first girl/girl 69 in the back of our Subaru wagon . Let me set the story:i had hooked up my buddy with this girl who was staying with shannon and i.a mutual friend brought her over, asking if she could stay a few weeks. she was a tall redhead , kinda thick (in a good way)green eyes big full lips , sexy as hell and was very open about her bi-sexuality a true ...


6 Comentários, 570 Visualizações, 39 Votos ,4.62 Pontuação
xplodeu 48 H
3  Artigos
Pitfalls vs Pussies?   23/8/2011

I'm just curious to know what women prefer in bed. I'm sure if your sitting at home right now with the moggy on your lap your gonna say pussy right? But if you had put pussy to bed 5 min ago, and walked into your bedroom, What would you be expecting to find?

A bottle of wine and chocolate, a whip or other? I understand everyone here states their preferences, but I'm seeking here ...


2 Comentários, 122 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,1.84 Pontuação
takemeasiam74 43 H
10  Artigos
humor   13/8/2011

we all need to laugh and humor can help us all relax, sexually it is v important


1 Comentários, 44 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,2.02 Pontuação
XG35 51 H
4  Artigos
Bra Sizes   27/7/2011

Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the Letters used to define bra sizes? But couldn't figure out what the letters stood for. Well its time you became informed! (A) Almost tits. ( Barely there. (C) Can't Complain! (D) Damn! (DD) Double Damn! (E) Enormous! (F) Fake. (G) Get a Reduction. (H )Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!




7 Comentários, 513 Visualizações, 36 Votos ,4.45 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Noble King Arthur   29/6/2011

King Arthur

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to ...


2 Comentários, 290 Visualizações, 12 Votos ,6.16 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Like a Tiger   29/6/2011

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That’s no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I’ve been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger ...


1 Comentários, 384 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,3.35 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
The Old Farmer   29/6/2011

The old farmer sat rocking on the front porch as he talked to the stranger. "Been thirty years since I lost my wife in these woods."

"Oh, I’m sorry, " the stranger said, "It must have been hard to lose your wife like that."

"Hard?" the farmer snorted, "Was damn near impossible! She knew those woods like the back of her hand!"


1 Comentários, 382 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,3.64 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the Big Game Hunter   23/6/2011

The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and none could dispute that. But then he said they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal’s skin from it’s feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber bullet it was that killed the animal.

The hunter said ...


1 Comentários, 261 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,3.98 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Piece of Cake   23/6/2011

Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though!

Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!"

Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"

Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in ...


1 Comentários, 298 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,4.12 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Sex at Seven   23/6/2011

A typical macho man married a typical good-looking redheaded lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you ...


1 Comentários, 258 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.14 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Two Friends   23/6/2011

Two friends, a blonde and a brunette, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.

She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again...for no reason."

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What’s the big deal, don’t you like getting flowers?"

The brunette says, "Oh ...


2 Comentários, 316 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,4.78 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
"Joys of Parenting "   22/6/2011

A Woman's Experience With Children

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother.

Things I've learned from my children ...


3 Comentários, 275 Visualizações, 12 Votos ,5.63 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Women   22/6/2011

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. --Charlotte Whitton

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. --Lenny Bruce

I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine. --Mel ...


1 Comentários, 154 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Vacation   22/6/2011

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; his wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a nap.

The wife, to escape her snoring husband, decided to take the boat out. Since she was not familiar with the lake, she rowed out to the middle, anchored the boat, and started ...


1 Comentários, 279 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,5.36 Pontuação
southernman5051 58 H
6  Artigos
Starting a fight   5/6/2011

A wife and her husband were watching "Who wants to be a millionaire"while they were in bed.Husband turns to the wife and said Do you want to have sex?"NO" she answered.He then turns and ask, Is that your final answer? THis time without even looking at him simply reply "YES" So then husband turns and said ok I like to phone a friend" THen the fight started.


1 Comentários, 418 Visualizações, 17 Votos ,2.42 Pontuação
coolwinterclass 52 H
5  Artigos
booted out   3/6/2011

A husband and his wife had a very bad argument.He left and went to the bar. when he home three sheets to the wind. He saw that all his clothes and tools were lying in the front yard. When seeing this through blurry eyes he stormed in the house and confronted wife."Bitch I know your leaving but you sure in hell are not taking my stuff with you"


2 Comentários, 371 Visualizações, 12 Votos ,3.68 Pontuação
DinaTv1 48 T
5  Artigos
A Shot In The Dark....   30/3/2011

When i was younger i used to go out with a rock chick who liked the fantasy so we used to get stoned and go into the park by me at about 2 in the morning.

I would wait in the bushes, jump out, rip her clothes off and fuck her on the grass.

One saturday night we were shagging in me flat, when she said lets go into the park, so off we went.It was about 12 when we went out. ...


0 Comentários, 29 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Infidelity Discovered   14/3/2011

A man was having an affair with another woman and his wife found out about it, so she told him "If you don't end it now I'm gonna go downtown to the post office where you work and tell everyone I see that you're a no good cheating filthy bum."

The husband replied "You're gonna go downtown to the post office where I work and tell everyone you see that I'm a no good cheating filthy bum?" ...


3 Comentários, 443 Visualizações, 19 Votos ,2.46 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
The Garden of Eden   14/3/2011

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of ...


4 Comentários, 274 Visualizações, 12 Votos ,3.33 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Magic Frog   14/3/2011

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."

The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will ...


3 Comentários, 240 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,5.56 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
My Wife and I Were Happy For Twenty Years.......   7/3/2011

My wife and I were happy for twenty years...then we met.

. I just got back from a pleasure trip - I drove my wife to the airport

. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice

. One woman says to another, "Isn't your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman ...


1 Comentários, 286 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.47 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the King   7/3/2011

The king was waving to his loyal subjects from the steps of the palace when he spotted a beggar in the crowd who looked, beneath the dirt and rags, amazingly like his royal self. He had a guard bring the beggar to him and the crowd was likewise struck by the remarkable resemblance. The king was amused, for he knew that the king before him had a well-deserved reputation as a ladies' man, as did he ...


1 Comentários, 172 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Free Tattoo   7/3/2011

A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100 dollar bill on his dick. Well the tattoo artist laughs and says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one good reason for it."

The guy thinks for a second and says. "Well one, I like to keep my money in my pants, two I like to watch my money grow, and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.


1 Comentários, 202 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,4.17 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Just Try to be Strong   7/3/2011

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an ...


2 Comentários, 225 Visualizações, 12 Votos ,5.63 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Off to Hawaii   7/3/2011

There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea--each time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy bank.

They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for about a year. After that time, they decided that there was enough money for their ...


1 Comentários, 144 Visualizações, 0 Votos
rm_manz634 33 H
5  Artigos
'reyan George" captured!   25/2/2011

recently i had the rare learning opportunity to deal with a professional con artist on AdultFriendFinder.com. I received a email from a lady naming herself reyan George who only had one photo on her account. she quickly started with a story about how she was looking for love and cherished love etc. right away i knew something was up because it seemed like it was a letter that was sent to ...


0 Comentários, 150 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,1.47 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Mrs. Boudreaux   25/2/2011

One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.

Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.

Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back ...


3 Comentários, 181 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.47 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Abstinance   18/2/2011

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the final couple was newlywed.

Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it ...


1 Comentários, 172 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,2.79 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Sexual Desire Enhancement   18/2/2011

Doc, you've gotta help me... my wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?" "Look, I can't prescribe..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to Hell! You've got to help me." The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of ...


3 Comentários, 180 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,2.82 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
His and Her Diary   17/2/2011

Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him ...


3 Comentários, 179 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,3.55 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
reincarnation   16/2/2011

Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”. ...


1 Comentários, 151 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.14 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the Portrait   14/2/2011

Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by a very famous artist. She told the artist, "Paint me with 3-carat diamond earrings, a large diamond necklace, glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful red ruby pendant." "But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things." "I know, " said Mrs. Johnson. "My health is not good, and my husband is having an affair with his secretary. When ...


2 Comentários, 122 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.14 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the Farmer and His Wife   6/2/2011

A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles, grabs his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother


2 Comentários, 220 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,2.42 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the Bus Ride   27/1/2011

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.


1 Comentários, 140 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,2.49 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the in-laws   25/1/2011

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws."


2 Comentários, 172 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.81 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
dont do it !   23/1/2011

A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do ...


1 Comentários, 175 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,2.42 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Pizza Pizza   22/1/2011

My wife, on her way home, picked up a $5 pizza for dinner. As we are eating it she fell on the floor and started having convulsions. I grabbed and fumbled with the phone as I called the 911 dispatch. As I knelt and attended to her the paramedic unit arrived and started checking her out. They told me not to be worried and that everything would be fine. She was just having "Little Seizures."


1 Comentários, 171 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the bank hostages   22/1/2011

This guy robs a bank and takes hostages.

He asks one of the hostage, "Did you see me rob the bank?"

The hostage answers, "Yes."

The crook, promptly shoots him.

Then he asks the another hostage the same question, "Did you see me rob the bank?"

The hostage answers, "No, but my wife over there did."


1 Comentários, 125 Visualizações, 0 Votos
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the sex talk   16/1/2011

In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time.

At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for marriage.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided ...


1 Comentários, 152 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,2.55 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the beer drinker   16/1/2011

A man walks in the door after a day at the office to find his wife crying at the kitchen table. Whats wrong? he asks.

I went to the store today, and a horrible man looked up my skirt. He said, ˜Id like to fill that with beer and drink it, she sobs. I wish youd been there to kick his ass.

Listen, honey, Ive repeatedly told you to wear panties every day,  replies the husband. ...


2 Comentários, 186 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,3.01 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
at dinner   16/1/2011

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away) suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining ...


1 Comentários, 139 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.81 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
show me the money   16/1/2011

A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't be on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first ...


1 Comentários, 107 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
7_inches_4_u916 26 H
8  Artigos
first time swallowing   8/1/2011

ill never forget the time i had this hot girl swallow for me. the look on her face was priceless. so innocent but so confused LOL.


0 Comentários, 181 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Cruelhammer 58 H
8  Artigos
Size Doesn't Matter   1/1/2011

A couple had been dating for about a month, but the guy was afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.

Finally one evening, he gets up his courage, and takes her to lovers' lane. While they are making out, he opens his zipper and places her hand on his penis.

"Stop! How dare you!" the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."


1 Comentários, 304 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,3.80 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
marriage proposal   27/12/2010

When asked if there was anything they would have changed about one of the most romantic moments of their lives, several women said a 'bigger diamond!'

54% of men still get down on one knee. 44% of men ask their partner's father for permission to marry. 57% of men cry when she said yes. 65% of women say he could have put more effort and preparation into the proposal. 25% of couples wait ...


1 Comentários, 128 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,1.51 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
New Years Eve Dream   26/12/2010

Janice was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'

'Aha, you'll know tonight, ' answered Max smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Janice and handed her small ...


1 Comentários, 132 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.92 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
New Years Eve Party   26/12/2010

Trevor's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence with numerous guests arriving. During the evening, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the kitchen. He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. 'You know, ' he confided to Trevor, 'I wasn't even ...


2 Comentários, 133 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.92 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the Maple Leaf   24/12/2010

After being escorted to the witness box and sworn in, the little old man was asked by the lawyer to explain what had happened. He described the events that led up to the incident and finally got to the main issue of the case, saying, "..and that's when she hit me with a maple leaf!"

"Surely that couldn't have inflicted any serious injury on you, sir, " the lawyer said.

"Are you ...


1 Comentários, 116 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.12 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Who Makes the Coffee   24/12/2010

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You're in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that's your job. I can just wait for my coffee."

The wife replied, "No ...


2 Comentários, 131 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.80 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Tom and Linda   24/12/2010

Tom was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.

He turned to his wife Linda, with a look of question on his face.

"I'll never understand why the biggest shmucks get the ...


1 Comentários, 111 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.12 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Night of the black strap on !   18/12/2010

I picked up this 6 ft tall knockout of a brunette back in the late 70's in a disco one mild winter night. She lived in a two story apartment townhouse with her bedroom upstairs. Just as sweet as she could be seemed like. Was always licking her lips like Cher.

After we had sex (and it was great too) she went into her bathroom and came out wearing a big black strap on dick that looked ...


4 Comentários, 280 Visualizações, 15 Votos ,3.13 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
Larry asnd Susan   17/12/2010

The barn at Larry and Susan's farm burned down, and Susan called the insurance company. Susan: "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." Agent: "Wait just a minute, Susan... it doesn't work quite like that. We will determine the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." Susan, after a pause: "I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband"


1 Comentários, 166 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,5.00 Pontuação
mzphatphat 28 M
6  Artigos
well get this   16/12/2010

ok well me and a "friend" waz you know doing the dam thing when he went down on me and boy was it feeling good till he stoped and said as he grabed my lips and said im the pussy monster and i have come to invade the town of penis! got to love him!


3 Comentários, 184 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,3.25 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the state trooper   16/12/2010

An 85-year old husband and wife decide to take a road trip. She drives because she can see and he rides because he can hear.

After traveling for a while, they get pulled over by a State Trooper. She rolls down her window and the cop says "I need to see your drivers license and vehicle registration please." The woman turns to her husband and shouts "WHAT DID HE SAY?" The husband replies, ...


2 Comentários, 162 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,2.82 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
The Hammer   16/12/2010

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard." The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You God-damned bastard." The judge stops, and says to the guy in the back of the ...


1 Comentários, 147 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.47 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the funeral service   16/12/2010

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!

She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, ...


1 Comentários, 128 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,4.80 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
newlywed farm couple   15/12/2010

A young farmer is newly married and the couple can't get enough of it. Just before leaving the house for the fields at down, they tear off a piece, and when he returns home at evening they have another go, before and after supper, and maybe a couple more during the night. The problem is during the day: the fields are a long way from the house, and the young man loses so much time traveling home ...


1 Comentários, 130 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,2.42 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
one fall day   14/12/2010

One Fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was a second hearse which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife, " the man replied. "I'm sorry, " ...


1 Comentários, 111 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,5.00 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Internet connection !   14/12/2010

There was this young man, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. It was wonderful, the experience of his life. But, it did not last. A Hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down almost instantly.

The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. The man looked around. There were some bananas and ...


5 Comentários, 117 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,1.84 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Doctor ! Doctor !   14/12/2010

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains! Pull yourself together, man!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bell. Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a ring.

Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow. Don't let people push you around.

Sigmund Freud by Deddi Shy Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible. Who said that?! ...


1 Comentários, 63 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,1.96 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
senior citizen romance   13/12/2010

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you use to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached ...


1 Comentários, 94 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.73 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
New Panties !   3/12/2010

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in order to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.

At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs enough times till her husband says, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"

"Y-e-e-s-s-s, " she answers with a seductive smile.

"Thank God for ...


4 Comentários, 146 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,2.55 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the card game   3/12/2010

Boudreau, Thibodeau, Pierre, Trusclair, and Old Man John were playing cards in the back room at Pierre’s Bar. Suddenly Old Man John grabbed his chest, groaned, and fell over dead.

Everybody was upset but nobody wanted to be the one to tell John’s wife Jean... Finally Boudreau accepted the task.

“You gotta break it to her gently. We don’t want Miss Jean to think we had ...


2 Comentários, 81 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
used parrot   3/12/2010

Mary decided to surprise her husband Boudreau with a parrot for his birthday. At the local pet store, the one parrot available was priced at $29.95.

“Why so inexpensive?” she asked the pet store owner.

“Well, he used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes says vulgar things.”

Since Boudreau’s birthday was the next day, she went ahead and bought the ...


3 Comentários, 93 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.94 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
hearing test   3/12/2010

One day Boudreau went to the doctor to get a check up. Boudreau says to the doctor, “Mais you know something doc ... my wife Clotile, she’s having trouble wit her hearing.”

De doc say, “Well Boudreau, how bad is it?”

“Mais doc I don’t know how bad it really is but she don’t seem to hear me at all. Whats de best way to find out how bad her hearing is?”

...


1 Comentários, 62 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.12 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Grandma's pies !   2/12/2010

Granny made such beautiful pies.

So one day I asked her, "How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edges so even?"

She said, "It's a family secret. So promise not to tell. I roll out the dough, and I cut out a bottom layer and carefully put it in a pie plate. Then I slowly pour the filling, making sure it's not too full. Next I cut a top layer and put it ...


5 Comentários, 176 Visualizações, 12 Votos ,2.62 Pontuação
Ababix3 33 H
8  Artigos
Saving someone's picture as a screensaver   28/11/2010

If someone you've only known for a few months saves your picture as their desktop background, is that funny or downright creepy?


1 Comentários, 81 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the married mans confession   23/11/2010

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "Father, I had an affair with a woman... almost."

"What do you mean almost?" questions the priest.

"Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

"Rubbing together is the same as putting it in, " explains the priest. "You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 ...


1 Comentários, 127 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.47 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
25th wedding anniversary   16/11/2010

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are you ...


1 Comentários, 131 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.47 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the truck driver   16/11/2010

A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple having sex in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he sounded his horn, but they didn't move. He finally brought the truck' to a halt inches from them. The truck driver got out and stormed: "What the hell's the matter with you two?.Didn't you hear me? You could have been ...


1 Comentários, 112 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,2.80 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
over seas vacation   16/11/2010

With his wife away on an overseas trip, a guy decided to take his secretary back to his house for an evening of passion. They were rolling around on the bed when he suddenly remembered he didn't have any condoms. I "What are we gonna do?" he said. "I don't know, " answered the secretary. "I don't have any either." Just then he hit upon an idea. "Hey'" he yelled exultantly. "No problem. I know ...


1 Comentários, 115 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
a day to live....   16/11/2010

A middle-aged man was told at the hospital that he had only 24 hours to live. He went home in a state of shock and fell into his wife's arms. "I've been told I've only got 24 hours to live, " he said. "Can we have sex one last time?" "Of course, honey, " she said, and they went to bed. Four hours later, he turned to her and said: "Could we have sex again? I've only '" got 20 hours to live. It ...


1 Comentários, 104 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,3.30 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
using vaseline....   16/11/2010

A male market researcher was calling on homes on behalf of Vaseline. A woman answered the door."Do you use Vaseline?" asked the researcher. "Certainly, " she said. "It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns." "And what about anything else?" he asked. "Like what?" He became embarrassed. "Well, sex, maybe." Oh, of course." she said. "I smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep my husband out."


1 Comentários, 105 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,4.45 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
dirty 4 letter words.....   5/11/2010

A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon.

When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

"Well, " said her mother, "how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama, " she replied, "the honeymoon as wonderful! So romantic..."

Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language - things I'd ...


2 Comentários, 147 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,1.62 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the fishing trip   4/11/2010

Four married guys went fishing. After an hour or so, the following conversation took place: First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second guy: "That's nothing! I had to promise my wife I'd build her a new deck for the pool."

Third guy: "Man, you both ...


1 Comentários, 115 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,3.21 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
devotion   4/11/2010

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times...When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you ...


2 Comentários, 100 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,4.06 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the octopus   4/11/2010

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar $50 that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it."

None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started picking away, better than Jimi ...


1 Comentários, 74 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.43 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
surgical procedure   16/10/2010

An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me . your mother is going to come and live with you and your ...


1 Comentários, 129 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,3.55 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
evolution   15/10/2010

A little girl asked her father, "How did the human race come about?"

The father answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind was made."

Two days later she asks her mother the same question.

The mother answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them."

The confused girl returns to her father and says: "Dad, ...


1 Comentários, 110 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,4.12 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
she was framed !   14/10/2010

A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife was away. His wife came home sooner than he expected, used the toilet, and got the seat stuck to her rear. She was understandably distraught about this and asked her husband to drive her to the doctor. She put a large overcoat on to cover the seat before they went.

When they got to the doctor's office, the man lifted his wife's coat to ...


3 Comentários, 114 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,3.01 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
she was framed !   14/10/2010

A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife was away. His wife came home sooner than he expected, used the toilet, and got the seat stuck to her rear. She was understandably distraught about this and asked her husband to drive her to the doctor. She put a large overcoat on to cover the seat before they went.

When they got to the doctor's office, the man lifted his wife's coat to ...


1 Comentários, 27 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,4.90 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
a lil honey   14/10/2010

A man was invited to a friend's home for dinner, where he noticed that his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms, calling her Honey, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, and so forth. He was impressed at this, since the couple had been married over 50 years.

While the wife was in the kitchen, he said, "I think it's wonderful that after all these years you still call your ...


1 Comentários, 92 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.43 Pontuação
rm_keystonewest 68 H
9  Artigos
where in the states do people have sex more often?   1/10/2010

There are people that will say out west they have to most sex because of the nice beaches.then their are people that will say no the state that have the coldest weather have. now if they say that az mn fl or those southern state have more sex. Here is for for thought, in those sunshine states OLD people out number the young!!! So they must be having a lot of sex right! nothing wrong with that ...


1 Comentários, 78 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,0.49 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
joe and john   30/9/2010

Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unknown to him, his brother John's wife had died suddenly in his ...


2 Comentários, 131 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,4.49 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
......but who will get the wet spot??   30/9/2010

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says, "Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football!"

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says - "Touchdown, tie score!"

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says - "Touchdown, ...


1 Comentários, 108 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.47 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
matter of opinion......   30/9/2010

An old man marries a young woman, and though they’re in love, the wife can’t achieve an orgasm.

They ask a psychiatrist for advice. He says, “Hire a strapping young man. While you’re making love, have him wave a towel over your bodies.”

The couple’s desperate, so they hire a male escort to wave a towel. But despite a lengthy lovemaking session, the wife still can’t ...


1 Comentários, 92 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,2.42 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
domestic dispute....   30/9/2010

Walking into the bar, Harvey said to the bartender,

"Pour me a stiff one, Eddie. I just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah, " said Eddie. "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over, " Harvey replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees."

"Really? Now that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under that bed, you ...


1 Comentários, 101 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.94 Pontuação
terracamo 60 H
10  Artigos
Who's The Boss   25/9/2010

A husband was advised by his psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you are the boss." The man was on fire with enthusiasm and couldn't wait to try to the Doctor's advice. He rushed home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on, you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when ...


1 Comentários, 173 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.80 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Worth the grin !   22/9/2010

1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. ...


2 Comentários, 180 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,2.05 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
halloween   7/9/2010

this couple was getting ready to go to a Halloween party but the wife had a terrible headache. She told her husband to go anyway. After a short argument he agreed, and she took some aspirin and went to bed.

Later she awoke and felt great, so she decided to go to the party and see what her hubby did when she wasn't around. As soon as she arrived, she noticed him on the dance floor getting ...


2 Comentários, 181 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,4.07 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Husband & wife !   5/9/2010

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
...


3 Comentários, 244 Visualizações, 23 Votos ,3.71 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Check for Alzheimer's !   3/9/2010

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University.

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without making a mistake.

The average person over 50 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.

2. This is is cat.

3. This is how cat.

4. This is to cat.

5. This is ...


2 Comentários, 144 Visualizações, 13 Votos ,1.13 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Happy woman !   2/9/2010

A woman in her fifties is at home, naked, happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight.

Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"

The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram, and the doctor says that not only am I ...


2 Comentários, 177 Visualizações, 16 Votos ,2.98 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Quickie in the Bushes !   2/9/2010

There are two statues in a park; One of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a path way for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for ...


1 Comentários, 130 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,1.67 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the earring   2/9/2010

Morris is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker, Joe, is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

"Hey Joe, " he yells out, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal out of it. It's only an earring." Says Joe sheepishly.

"No ...


1 Comentários, 119 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
in the beginning....   1/9/2010

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.

"Lord, I have a problem!"

"What’s the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely, and I’m sick to ...


2 Comentários, 117 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.86 Pontuação
sxetafysweet 56 M
2  Artigos
Paper Bag   28/8/2010

Two guys were in a bar arguing whos wife was the ugliest. This went on for some time, until finally they told each other to prove it./:>

So they leave the bar and go to one of the guys house. Guy walks in and says "Honey Im Home"

Wife walks in and yes she was ugly and husband says to the other guy "see I told you she was ugly" Other guy says "OMG" YOUR RIGHT ...


5 Comentários, 239 Visualizações, 16 Votos ,2.69 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
The $2.99 Special !   25/8/2010

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.

'Sounds good, ' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'

'Then, I'll have to charge you $3.49 because you're ordering a la carte, ' the waitress warned her.

'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.

...


1 Comentários, 149 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,2.98 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Senior Love !   25/8/2010

An elderly senior couple was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.

The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the husband was in the living room, her ...


1 Comentários, 107 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,1.69 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
big vacation   24/8/2010

There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea--each time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy bank.

They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for about a year. After that time, they decided that there was enough money for their ...


2 Comentários, 101 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.86 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the nympho   24/8/2010

A guy sees his buddy in a bar and says, "You're not going to believe this, but I've got a wild nymphomaniac in my car out in the parking lot. She's wearing me out! Can you go out to the car and keep her busy? The dome light is off, so she won't know you're not me!"

His friend agrees and goes out to his car.

They climb into the back seat and start going at it.

A few ...


1 Comentários, 170 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,3.65 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
out to lunch   24/8/2010

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away) suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining across ...


1 Comentários, 95 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.14 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
gun shopping   24/8/2010

A woman walks into a sporting-goods store and asks the salesman if he could help her pick out a rifle. Its for my husband, she explains.

Did he tell you what caliber to get? asks the salesman.

Are you kidding? He doesnt even know Im gonna shoot him.


2 Comentários, 110 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.45 Pontuação
CTska 36 H
4  Artigos
So   23/8/2010

A guy says to his wife who happens to be wearing a lemon between her legs (he is wearing a potato), if your going as a sour puss, i'm going as a dick potato. ba dum


4 Comentários, 98 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,0.52 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
The genie !   16/8/2010

Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.....

Unfortunately, the wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'

So the couple walked ...


2 Comentários, 177 Visualizações, 20 Votos ,3.38 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
big johnnie   31/7/2010

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in ...


2 Comentários, 180 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,5.38 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
a womans touch   31/7/2010

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time."

She said, "You have a bigger dick than all of your friends."


3 Comentários, 188 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,5.58 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the hen pecked hillbilly   31/7/2010

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a ...


2 Comentários, 156 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,5.33 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
once again....communication is key...   31/7/2010

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No, " he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar, " she responded.

"I mean, " he ...


2 Comentários, 130 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,5.10 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the chairman of the board   31/7/2010

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."


3 Comentários, 135 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,4.06 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
the story of john smith...   31/7/2010

A woman dies, and when she gets to heaven she asks Saint Peter, "Would it be possible for me to get together with my dear departed husband? He died many years ago." Saint Peter asks, "What's his name?" "John Smith, " replies the woman.

"Gee, " says Saint Peter, "we've got a lot of John Smiths up here. But sometimes we can identify people by their last words. Do you happen to remember ...


2 Comentários, 135 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,4.41 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
30 years of marriage   31/7/2010

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving ...


2 Comentários, 129 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,3.93 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
final answer   31/7/2010

A man and his wife went to bed one night and the man was getting very frisky and asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, "Not tonight dear I have a headache."

The man replied, "Is that your final answer"? She said, "Yes."

...He said. "Ok, then, I'd like to phone a friend."


2 Comentários, 117 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,2.79 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
a quote from oscar wilde   31/7/2010

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Oscar Wilde


2 Comentários, 55 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,3.25 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
about men   31/7/2010

Men are like fine wine: They all start out as grapes, and it is your job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd want to have with dinner.

Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like coolers: Load them with beer, and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like coffee: The best ones are ...


2 Comentários, 77 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,3.63 Pontuação
josmith5 58 H
1466  Artigos
needy?   31/7/2010

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he/she isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.


2 Comentários, 51 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.94 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Aging !   26/7/2010

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the ...


3 Comentários, 112 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,3.85 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
You know you're a okie when....   26/7/2010

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. 7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it. 8. You have the local taxidermist on ...


1 Comentários, 71 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,2.02 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Grandma Still Drives!   14/7/2010

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.

She writes,

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.

...


4 Comentários, 121 Visualizações, 14 Votos ,4.42 Pontuação
FriendAndL0ver 61 H
5  Artigos
Top 10 things men know about women.   11/7/2010

10.



9.



8.



7.



6.



5.



4.



3.

2. They have breasts.

1. They have a vagina.


1 Comentários, 52 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,4.41 Pontuação
rm_MrBritania 38 H
1  Artigo
Amazing   4/7/2010

Is this all you need to do to get free points?


1 Comentários, 63 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
bigtittiebbw 46 M
1  Artigo
Seriously....   3/6/2010

When chatting online, nothing makes me want to close the chat window faster than a guy saying "ask me anything you want". Yeah, I know that's my perogative. If we can't even make conversation online, I doubt there's going to be much attraction in person. Is "chatting" really that hard? Do we have to turn it into an interview.

That's all. Thank you for your attention. Carry on.


2 Comentários, 181 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,1.77 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
There's got to be a morning after !   28/5/2010

In the shitty gaa-bie little small southern town of Purgatory I live in I was found hanged from a pine tree limb in the overgrown front yard of the abandoned house I was hiding away from the world in. It was a half a block from the only red light in town and although cars and people walking by all day it wasn't reported till late in the afternoon.

But I wasn't hung with with rope, but ...


8 Comentários, 189 Visualizações, 27 Votos ,3.35 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
The Bagpiper and the Homeless Man!   10/5/2010

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw ...


2 Comentários, 99 Visualizações, 16 Votos ,0.78 Pontuação
nvrgetsenuf 50 M
11  Artigos
First Date Fuck Ups   9/5/2010

We've all had them. Admit it. Everybody's had at least one. Well, I've had more than one. There's one that almost got me arrested. And how about the one who's wife called me ten minutes after he dropped me off? I've got a hundred stories, but I'm only gonna tell you about one.

The names have been changed to protect the guilty. Before I tell you this story I have to tell you a little ...


1 Comentários, 258 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,4.29 Pontuação
christopher___25 36 H
12  Artigos
humor   17/4/2010

if a hot guy grabs you on the ass and pussy your so lucky, if a not so hot guy grabs you on the ass and pussy it's sexual abuse and he gets charged.how are men supposed to know if it is right to touch. i know a hot guy that walked around his back yard naked and his neibour who was a church going lady was watching now she calls him up for sex every night and they fuck.but if some men tryed that ...


1 Comentários, 48 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Free kittens !   17/4/2010

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.

Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man.

"Hi there, little girl, I'm President Obama. What do you have in the basket?" he ...


2 Comentários, 144 Visualizações, 33 Votos ,1.49 Pontuação
sweetnsingle30 45 M
1  Artigo
yellow thread   24/3/2010

this lady i used to live with when i was younger that the only way she would let me live with her was if i promised to stay a virgin. And if she ever found out if i had sex she would than sew my hole with yellow..I laughed and asked her why yellow thread? She replied with so when a man goes down on you he can see that is sewn shut..lmao i couldnt bear to tell her that i had just got done having ...


5 Comentários, 209 Visualizações, 13 Votos ,1.30 Pontuação
kathywithgary 43 C
16  Artigos
Snow Sex   20/3/2010

It was a cold snowy day, when we had to saddle up the horses to go check the fence line. He wasn't my boyfriend but we had a secret sex life. Half way threw we took a break tieing the horses to a tree. The next thing I knew he pulled me close and said lets have some fun. I said it's snowing and daylight and what if someone sees us. I was still shy cause of my high school age. I said the snow ...


2 Comentários, 167 Visualizações, 14 Votos ,4.42 Pontuação
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Mixed emotions !   16/3/2010

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and explaining the phenomenon of “mixed emotions”.

The husband turned to his wife and said, “Honey, that’s a bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.”

She said: “Out of all your friends, you have the biggest dick.“
...


3 Comentários, 168 Visualizações, 43 Votos
_JKH_ 65 H
858  Artigos
Sweet tea !   1/3/2010

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle."

Two weeks ...


3 Comentários, 215 Visualizações, 43 Votos ,0.74 Pontuação