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wickedcat2006 49 M
145  Artigos
spelling b!!   19/6/2021

A guy was driving down the highway with his smokin' hot blonde girlfriend and she said to him, 'I think those people in the car next to us are from another country. 'Why is that?' he said. 'Well, the are writing on the window and it says, ...'stit ruoy su wohs


2 Comentários, 71 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,5.75 Pontuação
THE_ROSES2 50 C
8  Artigos
A Must Read!   22/6/2021

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the ...



2 Comentários, 121 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,5.59 Pontuação
priya8891 36 M
8  Artigos
little boy   29/6/2021

“A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks, "Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom, what is shit?" and she says, ...


4 Comentários, 134 Visualizações, 13 Votos ,5.32 Pontuação
crazy_porty 52 H
63  Artigos
EL PERRO, EL MONO Y LA PANTERA   1/7/2021

Cierta vez un perro se interna en la selva y se pierde en ella.

Una pantera lo vío, pero no sabía que animal era, y decide cazarlo, el perro se percata de la presencia de la pantera lleno de miedo la ve acercarse y no sabe que hacer, de pronto descubre los huesos de un animal muerto y pone en marcha un plan.

Se colóca de espaldas a la pantera y empieza a lamer los huesos. ...


3 Comentários, 44 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,5.10 Pontuação
Crisis   1/7/2021

Era un matrimonio que tenía problemas de dinero y la crisis obligó a la mujer a prostituirse.

La esposa muy confundida le dice: Pepe, ¡Pero yo no sé nada de eso!

Y él le dice: Cuando tengas alguna duda sólo me preguntas, yo estaré detrás del poste.

Así quedaron.

Llegó a primera noche y la mujer se vistió bien apretadita, una faldita corta, medias de ...


2 Comentários, 87 Visualizações, 12 Votos ,5.10 Pontuação
TantricLove27 36 H
1  Artigo
Just for points   21/11/2021

👍


1 Comentários, 14 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,5.00 Pontuação
rm_tazmantenn 74 H
2172  Artigos
RETIRED   25/6/2021

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse, so I had to learn to while away my time.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. ...


1 Comentários, 130 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,4.80 Pontuação
_JKH_ 69 H
858  Artigos
Lawyer Cross-Examines a Cop   23/6/2021

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial. It went like this:

Q. Officer, did you see my fleeing the scene?

A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?

A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. ...


7 Comentários, 183 Visualizações, 28 Votos ,4.78 Pontuação
SEXYWOMAN_LOVER 38 M
106  Artigos
MUJERES VENGATIVAS 1   1/7/2021

Hoy mi hija cumple 21 años... y estoy muy contento porque es el último pago de pensión alimenticia que le doy, así que llamé a mi hijita para que viniera a mi casa y cuando llegó le dije:

++ Hijita, quiero que lleves este cheque a casa de tu mamá y que le digas que: ¡¡¡Este es el último maldito cheque que va recibir de mí en todo lo que le queda de ...



1 Comentários, 85 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,4.57 Pontuação
bluangel858 39 M
8  Artigos
Cute   23/6/2021

A NAMED SEX

Everybody I know who has a usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't ...


2 Comentários, 129 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,4.50 Pontuação
Control de tráfico   1/7/2021

Un condutor es detendido en un control de tráfico. El policía le explica que están ensayando un nuevo sistema para detectar conductores que hallan ingerido alcohol mediante una serie de sencillas preguntas a las que él debe responder. La primera pregunta es: <br> - Si usted circula por el interior de un túnel sin iluminación y ve a lo lejos dos faros que se acercan hacia ...


1 Comentários, 160 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,4.48 Pontuação
Bump144 72 H
823  Artigos
CATHOLIC HORSES????   24/6/2021

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that - a very long shot - won the race.

Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the ...


0 Comentários, 58 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,4.41 Pontuação
sexycpl4fun1965 62 C
54  Artigos
Take Your Choice   23/6/2021

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!" "Look! We're going fishing and that's final." "Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or ...


1 Comentários, 184 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,4.41 Pontuação
potbelliedman 46 H
13  Artigos
Smart Ass !   25/6/2021

There was this guy who was in love with his wife but his job took up a lot of his time. One Sunday afternoon, his wife came home and said the boys were out playing, and maybe they should do some playing of their own. The man thought about this and decided she was right. He embraced her and they began to kiss passionately. She felt him getting hard and said he'd best be getting that condom on and ...


3 Comentários, 125 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,4.06 Pontuação
BWE55 55 H
21  Artigos
Dogs at the Vets   22/6/2021

Two dogs at the vets. 1st says to the other dog 'What you here for?' 2nd says 'I keep rubbing myself up my owners leg so he's having my balls cut off'. 'Ooch' says the first dog. 2nd says 'What you here for then?'. 1st says 'Look at my owner she's beautiful, perfect beasts, a tight arse, abosolutely fabulous. Well she was bending over cleaning the oven ...


1 Comentários, 49 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,3.98 Pontuação
rm_josephsid 60 H
1  Artigo
Moral of the story   29/6/2021

On the farm lived a chicken and a , both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only ...


0 Comentários, 33 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.92 Pontuação
rm_tazmantenn 74 H
2172  Artigos
Mensa Question   29/6/2021

You are on a , galloping at a constant speed.

On your right side is a sharp drop off.

And on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.

Directly in front of you is another galloping but your is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the in front of you.

What must you do to safely get ...


1 Comentários, 131 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,3.80 Pontuação
sexycpl4fun1965 62 C
54  Artigos
A Slighty Confused    24/6/2021

A comes home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their dicks?" "Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her . "But then when I have a baby, " responded the "won't it knock my teeth out?"


1 Comentários, 184 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,3.48 Pontuação
UpForeU2Play 65 H
155  Artigos
Dumbest    26/6/2021

As a young boy enters a barber shop the barber whispers to his customer's. This is the dumbest in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, ?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That never learns!" ...


1 Comentários, 137 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.47 Pontuação
josmith5 61 H
1466  Artigos
LIL' JOHNNY   29/6/2021

A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed 4-year-old Little Johnny standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event.

The man thought, "Great... he's 4 and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and the bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer."

After everything was over, the man walked over to his and said, ...


0 Comentários, 71 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.43 Pontuação
Shelbyjean69 47 C
64  Artigos
Take Your Choice   26/6/2021

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!" "Look! We're going fishing and that's final." "Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or ...


0 Comentários, 118 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.43 Pontuação
rm_casual3 55 C
8  Artigos
code   24/6/2021

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter. <br> One day the husband told his five year old , "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter". <br> The told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he ...


2 Comentários, 226 Visualizações, 13 Votos ,3.14 Pontuação
donatello52 46 H
34  Artigos
COSA DE CAMPESINOS   1/7/2021

JUAN Y MARIA ERAN 2 JOVENES CAMPESINOS QUE ANDABAN CAMINANDO POR EL CAMPO, DE PRONTO MARIA SE DETIENE Y LE PREGUNTA A JUAN: -- OYE JUAN COMO SABE EL BURRO CUANDO LA MULA QUIERE ACCION? --Y JUAN LE RESPONDE -- POR EL OLOR, MARIA. SIGUEN CAMINANDO Y SE VUELVE A DETENER MARIA Y LE PREGUNTA A JUAN: -- OYE JUAN Y COMO SABE EL TORO CUANDO LA VACA QUIERE? -- Y JUAN LE RESPONDE: -- POR EL OLOR, MARIA. ...


8 Comentários, 5942 Visualizações, 295 Votos ,2.99 Pontuação
rm_tazmantenn 74 H
2172  Artigos
When   24/6/2021

Judge asked , "So when did you realize you were ?"

replied, wiping her tears, "When the check bounced."


3 Comentários, 132 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,2.80 Pontuação
Dark Closet   25/6/2021

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well. <br> Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Yes, it is, " the man replies. "You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks. "No thanks, " the man ...


1 Comentários, 199 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,2.79 Pontuação
a called sex   23/6/2021

Everybody I know who has a usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot".

I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.

He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!"

He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't ...


6 Comentários, 322 Visualizações, 17 Votos ,2.56 Pontuação
rm_tazmantenn 74 H
2172  Artigos
AND YOU EXPECTED WHAT?   22/6/2021

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.

"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"

"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?!" the manager asked.

"That's the one!" ...


2 Comentários, 137 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.47 Pontuação
Three cheesy jokes that we all know and love....   25/6/2021

1) If you have sex with a person without their consent, it is called ....so if you have sex with a without her consent, is it called , or shoplifting?



2) What kind of pleasure does a Priest get? ANSWER: Nun



3) If you have sex with someone and get a disease, you are said to have an STD.....so if you jerk off to massive amounts of porn on your computer and your ...


2 Comentários, 77 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,1.47 Pontuação
rm_VTMaximus 52 H
3  Artigos
Family Fun   29/6/2021

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Honey, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."

The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!" "Look! We're going fishing and that's final." "Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW ...


0 Comentários, 194 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,1.30 Pontuação
rm_tazmantenn 74 H
2172  Artigos
Deer Roping   26/6/2021

Deer Roping > I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
> feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The
> first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since
> they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear
> of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and ...


0 Comentários, 77 Visualizações, 2 Votos