The day I was born, the nurses wept in despair, for they knew they would never see a such as I again.In the 8th grade, I was invited to participate in an international thinktank on aging.My hobbies include experiments into controlling the weather, and a successful attempt to breed dolphins and humans.I was introduced to the French school of cooking by a wizened Oriental master over a campfire.I have received an award from the IRS on the beauty and prose of my tax returns.I have composed symphonies so beautiful that several members of the audience damaged their eardrums in an attempt to deafen themselves, as they knew they would never hear anything so beautiful again.I dont need these lines to get laid.My fashion sense is unparalleled.I am the only person to climb Mt. Everest in a tshirt and shorts.I freedived with the box jellyfish, and lived to tell about it.I am humble. I have no need to brag.

My Ideal Person Seeking hostile woman for unfulfilling sex, future divorce and codependency. Looking for a whiny, crazy lady with misplaced sense of entitlement and lots of expectations. Bonus points if you just finished dating every guy in town, but now want to take it slow with me. Id be open to an unsatisfying fling, but prefer a longterm, soul crushing descent into booze and pills.

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

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