A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog. After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."

My Ideal Person I am an invisible lover
Rushing through your dark night
Brushing your lips moist and dewy
Rustling through your sheets; yes that's right

I am an invisible lover
Trailing long fingers through your hair
Tossing it for that sexy, wild look
Curling it around like a snare

I am an invisible lover
Take my wings we can run away
Whisking you up, tossing you high
Thrusting and pushing you to play

I am an invisible lover
Caressing through your clothes
Undressing you as I weave through them
Uncovering secret places as I blow

I am an invisible lover
Sliding sensually up a skirt - or pants;
Living all too briefly between hot, wet thighs
While you squirm, wiggle and dance

I am an invisible lover
I am here every single day
I've known your whole body and I want you to know
I'm the wind, and I won't go away!