And now for something completely different… the self-deprecating truth in a dating profile. Well, I will get to that after some black and white details… I am a 38 yr old, divorced father of a 4 yr old boy whom I see on weekends. His mother and I are friends and because we will both be a part of his life, we will both be a part of each others' lives. If that makes you uncomfortable in any way, move on… Still with me? Then let’s move on to some other basics… I work in downtown Toronto in the software development field. I live in a basement of a house in Oakville. I drive a 2002 black Mazda 626 that needs new brakes. Like many of us, I have very little disposable income, which I mainly reserve for spoiling my . If you are looking for someone to frequently/somewhat frequently travel with, go to nice restaurants with, experience live theatre with, then either be prepared to be my sugar momma or move on… Still there? Good on ya! Let me take this opportunity to recommend to you to read over my Information below. I'll make it easy for you... I smoke cigarettes (and also occasionally recreational substances). I like to drink, not often, but I do like to look for excuses to drink. The rest isn't that important. Soo... All good? No? Move on… Yes? Congratulations for making it this far! I like you already just for that. So by now you’re probably thinking, “Where the fuck is this self-deprecating truth? All I see is a cranky, narrow-minded, broke bastard.” Well I wouldn’t consider myself narrow-minded. In fact, I have quite an open mind, but there are just some things that I would consider deal-breakers. No matter how cool you are, or how incredibly sexy you are, it just wouldn’t work for anything long-term… or even semi-long-term. If you have failed my deal-breakers, but you are that convinced that we should chat and/or meet (which I’m not sure why any woman would want to anyway), then maybe we could be friends… or if you like to play tennis, we could be tennis buddies. I recently re-discovered my love of playing tennis. I’m a little below decent at it, but I love to play. I’ve never really been good at the team sports. I prefer the one-on-one activities. Speaking of which, I like sex… a lot. What’s that? You do too? Fan-fucking-tastic! You’ve earned the privilege to read on. The rest of you should really just move on at this point, if you haven’t already. In fact, if you don’t like sex a lot, then I feel bad for you , ‘cause I got 99 problems, but sex ain’t one. (I wasn’t actually calling you “”, it’s just a paraphrased line from a g.) So here we are at the halfway point of my essay. Have you actually read this far? Wow, amazing. I hope I’m keeping you entertained. If so, you may be interested in taking a look at my blog on here [blog aquarian_tiger74]. There's not much there right now, but I'll be trying to update frequently. It’s just a little look into the mind of yours truly. You know, you’re right… this really isn’t self-deprecating at all… it’s actually becoming a little self-promoting. Maybe I should just get to the truth already… I’m a functional emotional wreck of a human being. My emotions like to frequently go on all the rides of an amusement park. I have horrible road rage. I cry frequently at Youtube clips that are made to make you cry. And then I become so apathetic to some things that it drives people crazy. I’m sarcastic as hell… like that annoying sarcasm that will just drive you bonkers. I question almost everything. “Can you pick up some bananas on the way home?” “Why? What are you going to do with them?” Ok, that exchange is probably a little extreme, but I do frequently question people’s reas for wanting or doing something. I’m highly self-conscious. I sometimes really hate my ghostly white, skinny, pot-bellied body. “Do something about it then, you dumbass!” Well, I’ve kinda tried, but my motivation doesn’t last long for things like that. Having said that, I have started to eat a little better and cut down on my carb and sugar intake. I'm so far pleased with the result... my pot-belly is becoming a little smaller. But, I’d like some colour on my skin, but I take forever to tan and I refuse to go topless in public… except maybe at pools and water parks, but I haven’t really been for a long time. I should have taken my more this summer. As I mentioned, I re-discovered my love of playing tennis, so that should keep me fit enough… and I walk very briskly for 20 minutes from Union station to work... twice a day. But I do still like to eat, and snack, and drink beer. By the way, are you still reading? Holy fuck! You must be stoned. If so, puff puff pass man! Ok, I’m going to end it here ‘cause I'm sure I'll have more to add later.

My Ideal Person Hmmm... I don't really have an "ideal" person. We just have to click mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually, all of the abovally. I do like big boobs and round asses... and long hair... and pretty faces... and girls shorter than me... and sick senses of humour... and open-mindedness... and girls who like geeky things... and girls who can fit 8 inches down their throat. But that's not too specific, right?