[COLOR deeppink]AVAILABLE FOR LEASE (SHORT OR LONG TERM *SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY)[/COLOR] One very lovable, user friendly, long legged, tanned, voluptuous size 10 blonde, does exactly what it says on the tin, busty, cheeky, flirtatious, intelligent bi sexual female. [COLOR darkblue]SPECIFICATIONS[/COLOR] 1 x pair of 38 D breasts 1 x pair of extra long legs 1 x pair of sparkly brown eyes 1 x firm peachy bottom 1 x moist and shaven kitty 1 x well educated and intelligent mind 1 x friendly and outgoing perality 1 x great sense of humour 1 x large dose of respect, discretion and loyalty to friends 1 x small well of patience for idiots and timewasters [COLOR darkblue]COST[/COLOR] One "get to know you" dinner (occasional buy one get one free offers available *conditions apply) however, this individual has been known to 'ahem' get playful for a bag of nuts and a mineral water, with fun intelligent, attractive, couples, or females, preferably between 30 and 45 years young, busty women and toned men get special delivery (insurance included). Non smokers only please, however, smouldering is perfectly acceptable. This individual is equally excited by both the male and female gender, and can be quite a slapper when it comes to insisting on having both at the same time. She will however, only be a nice slapper and not into any of the p's (pee, poo, pain). [COLOR darkblue]USER MANUAL[/COLOR] This individual thrives on fun, good humour, sensual intimacy, affection and tender love making. When treated with respect this individual will respond extremely well, is eager to please and respectful of others boundaries This individual needs to feel safe at all times and goes like a rocket when relaxed. No stranger to bullshit, this individual is able to recognise it immediately, so it is best to avoid this at all costs. This individual has not been de-capitated neither is she a minger, her professional life requires anonimity, and besides that, doesnt want her 103 year old neighbour who perused the site calling the police. This individual would not fight her way through forest to get to an ice cream no matter how delicious it might be. A lot of damage could be done in the process so prefers it nice and smooth round the you know what areas. Anyway, no one likes hair in anything they eat.(more hilarity below, please scroll down) [COLOR red]WARNING!!!![/COLOR] This individual fails to perform when mail consists of one liners, no pictures and no details on profile, she has limited psychic abilities and is unable to either see what you look like or know what your looking for, if you cant make the effort then neither can she. Please attach face picture to your email (not asking for a ney), She is blonde and has managed to upload several pictures. By the way she already has a cock shot. This individual will only cam in order to verify she is who she says she is and not to watch you pulling your plod whilst typing ooer I'm cumming whilst reading a book and painting her nails. This individual does not spend hours on that chatting site improving her typing speed when there is some real hide the sausage antics to be had in her kingsize four poster. Due to the unique nature of this individual there can sometimes be a waiting period. This MUST NOT be construed as "timewasting" and viewed purely as time to correspond until such time as she is available. It must be understood, there is only one in stock and it is unlikely there will be another delivery. This individual cannot travel due to the chaos caused to pedestrians and other road users and would get lost in a corridor. However, she can accommodate in her beautiful, cosy, lovenest with no husband or ren to disturb the romantic interludes [COLOR darkblue]GUARANTEE[/COLOR] This individual will arrive perfectly packaged, on time and fit for purpose, if this individual does not reach you in perfect condition, you will be offered a replacement. You will have to blow it up and it comes with a puncture kit, but must understand it is not nearly as responsive and neighbours might talk.[SIZE 5][/SIZE][SIZE 7][/SIZE][COLOR red][/COLOR][COLOR red][/COLOR][COLOR red][/COLOR][SIZE 3][/SIZE][SIZE 7][/SIZE][COLOR limegreen][/COLOR]

My Ideal Person This product is most suited to honest, genuine, stable, loving couples, and is not really suited to the novice, so experience handling such a product would be beneficial. THIS PRODUCT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR THE SINGLE MALE (the clues in the heading and also in the "LOOKING FOR" section) Non smokers only please.

If you can breath through your ears its an added bonus

TROUBLESHOOTING

I have not received a reply to my email?

You are a single male, although it is well documented men do not read the manual it is advisable in this instance.

You are a smoker (please read the manual)

You have not attached a face pic (Please read the manual)

You are obviously a man posing as a couple and products highly tuned instincts have sussed you out.

I Have winked, nudged,spanked, kissed product and received no response.

Whilst product appreciates the above from our across the world buyers as english may be limited, this act from the British public is considered a bit lazy and prefers a well constructed email (Please read the manual)

Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
I have a different one every day, I'm a woman, what do
you expect!

What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
on the bonnet of a car during a thunderstorm

Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
I have three exceptions. Gavin Henson makes every part
of me quiver just looking at him, Micheal Mackintyre has
the sense of humour that could laugh my knickers right off,
throw in Aby Titmuss and I might never leave the house again.

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