I am an ugly, fat, hirsute, vertically -challenged, nagging beast of a woman with a surly disposition, ill-fitting dentures, a missing ear, and a natural love of head-games . Hapless, witless & totally humorless - Im also the Ultimate Drama Queen, and I can throw the biggest public hissy-fit at a seconds notice (and for no apparent rea) this side of the Black Stump. A confirmed Couch Potato. But what I may lack in the social graces - I believe I more than make up for with really bad foot odor and chronic, eye-watering halitosis. (And these are just my good points)... . I am often mistaken on the beach for a Yeti. So if you are Ms./ Mr. Sarcastic ( that doesnt mean obnoxious) you should send me a message.

My Ideal Person I am looking for a nice lady/man/couple for great times. You should be comfortable in your own skin and looking to find chemistry and have fun at whatever level that is for you and me.

More about me........My shrink said I'm bipolar but I think he meant bi-coastal.
Dumb doctors! He did pay me a compliment though. Guess he noticed I was very friendly, cause I heard him whisper to the nurse that I'm on a "incurable social path!" I was pleased that he thought so highly of me. He's always staring strangely at me. Must be chemistry. Anyway I think he wants a relationship because they're always talking behind my back (like everybody does) about me being committed. Anyway, only 3 more electroshock therapies and I might be able to cut back on the librium and all these medications. Actually, can you keep a secret? I stopped taking them months ago,hehe, I figured how to slip my hand out of this special jacket they put me in and have been hiding them in a hole in the padding on the wall. I'm just crazy, not stupid!
..that is until "the accident" and they put that damn steel plate in my head. I sure hope your not one of those men with a "magnetic" personality. I seem to attract them??
And I wish I hadn't been in Mexico when the accident occurred. Shady Vet Hospital (I didn't even serve in the military). All the patients had dogs and cats with them...so weird. And last thing I remember before going under is hearing the doctor tell the Vet Tech, "Be very careful, this plate is hot!"

Check me out - see if I spark an interest.

SERIOUSLY, I'm a rare Catch! Great humor, FUN loving, Romantic, Creative, Intelligent gal with heart of Gold. In a medical program at school. Compassionate,Intuitive,Creative,Giving, Nurturing, ,spontaneous, likeable, hilarious. Very affectionate. Very sensual, whisper in your ear,dance, gives great foot messages, body messages caresses,and lapdances. Good listener, very caring,compassionate and nurturing. Always willing to try new things. Hopeless Romantic..Love men who are sassy,flirty,and can dance. Someone who likes public displays of affection,and can't keep our hands off each other.
Hell, life is short, be a little daring,brazen and naughty.We only go around once so why not take a few chances, it's boring playing it safe. Let's live a little!
Making love on a rainy day...thunderstorms...in a tent in a thunderstorm,under a waterfalls,on a beach,a resort balcony..you get the idea
Work Hard--Play HARDER! Loves to Please! To hell with acting our age! Laugh a lot and don't take life TOO seriously. Can U tell?

I'm an ill-tempered, mean-spirited, controlling, smelly, ultra-conservative, egotistical, stick-in-the-mud, government bureaucrat who knows exactly where a man's place is and despises trying new things. When I want your opinion mister, I'll give it to ya! Wanna meet at my convenience. I'm a very busy woman surrounded by idiots. I'll let you know when & where works for me, you lucky guy you!



My Ideal Person:
Depends on what YOU like...Let's talk about it.
Somewhere we can get to know one another.See if there's chemistry.
Somewhere casual, conducive to good conversation and laughs. I have a quick wit and have been told by many that my confidence, creativity, passion, integrity, loyalty and sense of humor are my best qualities,oh yeah one other big one I forgot, but you'll have to discover that for yourself

SERIOUSLY, I think we'll be able to figure something out, don't you?!
I'd love to just Spoon on the couch, in front of a fire or with the right man, maybe even Fork!

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Mutual Masturbation

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

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