Really, that's my business, I have a blurb written out that hits all the major points that the "writing ideas" from Adult Friend Finder suggests, and is quite explicit, but I'm going to have to be satisfied that I like you and that any picture I see is actually you before I let you read it. Yes, this is quite long, please don't feel obliged to read it all. If there's something specific you want to know, you're better off just asking. I know there's lots worse stuff on here, but I'm not like that with everyone I meet, so I can't justify putting it out on display in public to myself. You'll just have to ask me for it. In the meantime here's the clean version. I'm friendly, some say funny, although it's usually me just being blunt/honest and bumbling, I love to learn new things and challenge myself. Isn't it odd, I can say any old shite here, and, provided I don't contradict myself, you'll probably believe me, at least until we get to the actual date. Anyway, I've been thoroughly honest, just so you know, (of course, that could be a lie!) because I'd rather date someone that's actually interested in me as I am, not some polished up web pera that would be knackering to keep up should we actually meet. So in all honesty, I probably swear too much, but I can keep a lid on it and mingle with polite society, but I probably spend most of my time at such gatherings not believing a word people say. I'm a bit of a tech nerd, but I tend to use it for entertainment purposes, and as a means to learning other non techy stuff. I used to read a fair amount of books, but these days, it's mostly web reading for me, I know a lot of people still read books, but I'm working on getting rid of mine, it's just a waste of a tree, and space in my house, but I still keep reading the odd one occasionally if it comes highly enough recommended. If you're one of those girls that's only interested in men above a certain height, you might as well save us both some time and move on, besides almost certainly not reaching your height requirements, I think that's an amazingly shallow way to judge someone, so jog on, glad I never met you! So, I've found I usually get on with short women, but tall women could be fun too, if you're tall and not heightest, we might be able to get a laugh. What I’m doing with my life? How many times have I asked myself exactly that question? Like most people, exchanging my labour for meaningless tokens, then exchanging those same tokens for goods and services from other people, and corporations, which are legally people too, and thinking how stupid that is! Buggering about and having a whizzy-jolly time. Slowly destroying it one bad decision at a time, trying to break that habit, and failing. Learning new stuff, as has been mentioned, not in a very organised fashion though, and thinking I really should think about getting some more bits of paper to prove I can do the stuff I can do, but then I'd have to learn a certain set of predefined stuff, and I'm not sure I have the self discipline left to go through that again. Hell, I barely had the discipline when I still thought I should be doing it! So, in summary, distracting myself with all sorts of stuff that I think is interesting, and very few people probably will. I’m really good at... Walking and talking, I think I have those down now. Really, a casual chat about life in general is probably one of my stronger suits. Provided we can start from the quite reaable assumption that just about everything we think we know is almost certainly going to be proved wrong, and quite possibly within our lifetimes, so we shouldn't take what we "know" too seriously, we should be good to go on just about any subject. The first things people usually notice about me... I really don't know, about that, you'd have to ask them, but people often tell me that I'm a world weary cynic, or I really don't give a fuck about anyone or anything. They're only half right, and I don't usually care enough to correct them on the finer points. Women generally say I have a nice arse/shoulders/smile, depending on how daring they're feeling I expect. Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food... Easier to list my hates, musicals and stuff about antiques. I spend a lot of time thinking about... I daydream a lot, and I'm probably thinking about how shit the world is in general, and what we could do to fix it. And boobs, mmm boobs. On a typical Friday night I am... asleep, I work fri/sat/sun. The most private thing I’m willing to admit... IF in some parallel universe, another version of me decided to act upon the thoughts that went through his head, it's highly unlikely that he made it out of hood, let alone to the age of the big 4 O. However, if he kept it up and made it this far, the world would be a very different place with a vastly reduced population. And he would be serviced daily by a small army of beautiful women.

My Ideal Person Here's the play nice version. Dirtier version available on request

You should message me if...

I have an ambition, I want to get laid in every county in England, by a woman local to the area, so if you live outside of Lincolnshire, and think I might be suitable, drop me a line.

If you've made it this far, and I somehow haven't managed to piss you off, send me a message and I will see if I can figure out how to annoy you better on there
？Other than that, I'm looking for someone a bit off the wall, arty is nice, but not mandatory. Honest, caring and relaxed.

I have quite the preference for long hair, curly looks better, but straight is nicer to run my fingers through, so either way I'll probably love it if there's enough of it.

What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
A bed, The beach, A moving vehicle (i.e. car), The middle of a park, An airplane, A movie theatre, A remote wilderness spot, Under a waterfall, A hotel room, Anywhere

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Rimming, Light Bondage, Spanking, Threesomes, Mutual Masturbation, Food Play, Making Home "Movies", Participating in Erotic Photography, Voyeurism, Handcuffs/Shackles, Blindfolds, Fisting, Massage

What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
Physical attraction, Same/similar fetishes, Ability to be discreet

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

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